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Maybe I’m a dumbass?

Jessie Blight

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Hi Everyone

I thought I would write a little introduction and maybe get some feedback. I’m a 19year old Housekeeper. I’ve read The Fastlane Millionaire and just about to start reading Unscripted . I’m having trouble finding a way to provide value into people’s lives. I have been helping a lot of people recently and I do feel as if I’m moving in the right direction. My next few goals are to Stop smoking, Pass my driving test, Add to my education with Umedy and work towards my own business. However, as you can see those are quite board goals and I feel like I need to specify more. I am NOT asking for help just a push in the right direction no matter how brutal you tell it to me. Thanks ❤️
 
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D_Benga

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I think those goals are good to get started. Cutting out smoking is one of the hardest things most people try to do. If you can accomplish that by setting up steps and small goals that will give you a better idea of how to accomplish bigger goals. For example instead of smoking 4 packs a week cut it to 2 packs, then 1 pack and eventually cut or you could go cold turkey if that works for you. As a former smoker one thing I can say is that it will take you a couple of times to quit. I've seen people quit cold turkey but for most it takes a few attempts.

Same goes for you getting your drivers license. Set small goals in order to achieve overall success.

I think changing our habits is one of the hardest things to do. Things we have been doing for so long that they are part of our daily lives. If we can change those habits for the better, then other things become easily achievable.

Good luck
 

Jessie Blight

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How do you think calling yourself a dumbass will help you get anywhere?

Well I don’t think it’ll get me anywhere but it did get your attention. Enough of it for a reply as well which is what I was hoping for!
 
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Jessie Blight

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I think those goals are good to get started. Cutting out smoking is one of the hardest things most people try to do. If you can accomplish that by setting up steps and small goals that will give you a better idea of how to accomplish bigger goals. For example instead of smoking 4 packs a week cut it to 2 packs, then 1 pack and eventually cut or you could go cold turkey if that works for you. As a former smoker one thing I can say is that it will take you a couple of times to quit. I've seen people quit cold turkey but for most it takes a few attempts.

Same goes for you getting your drivers license. Set small goals in order to achieve overall success.

I think changing our habits is one of the hardest things to do. Things we have been doing for so long that they are part of our daily lives. If we can change those habits for the better, then other things become easily achievable.

Good luck

Thank you! My problem isn’t so much tobacco but marijuana. I cut out smoking tobacco about two years ago but haven’t been able to stop with the green. What do you find your best technique is for changing your habits and sticking to them?
 

Sander

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Thank you! My problem isn’t so much tobacco but marijuana. I cut out smoking tobacco about two years ago but haven’t been able to stop with the green. What do you find your best technique is for changing your habits and sticking to them?

Take a pen and a paper.

Draw 7 x 7 squares.

Check one square with an X for each day you don't smoke weed.

Don't break the chain of X's.

Apply method to other habits if you want to.
 

JG17

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Hi Jessie, welcome to the forum.

In my experience, breaking a stupid habit such as smoking whether it's cigarettes or weed really needs a harsh reality check from yourself. As soon as you have a moment of clarity that you are in control of your desires rather than controlled by your desires, you'll realise you're wasting your time, money and health on a habit that you can easily live without.

Cravings? F*ck that, I'm in control of my desires.

Peer pressure/FOMO? F*ck that, this is my life and I make my own decisions.

Unfortunately no one can give you this moment of clarity, it has to come from within. I know I am oversimplifying here and it isn't as easy as a flick of a switch, but I think you can learn from this advice.

Passing your driving test is a good place to start as it's something you'll be able to see tangible improvements in as time goes by. Assuming you're in the UK like your profile says, go and do your theory test before you've even sat in the driver's seat. That way you'll have a timeframe of when you need to have passed your practical as you get two years before you need to retake your theory. Do a couple of hour lessons a week and you'll get better every time, being able to see yourself improving and getting closer towards your goal will give you a mental boost towards achieving your other goals.

You're probably better off reading through all of the Gold/Notable threads on here before going onto Udemy. There's way, way, way more value in some of these threads with real life examples and not to mention it's FREE and you can ask questions and get advice.

Good luck and I encourage you to start a progress thread to keep yourself accountable.
 
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D_Benga

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Thank you! My problem isn’t so much tobacco but marijuana. I cut out smoking tobacco about two years ago but haven’t been able to stop with the green. What do you find your best technique is for changing your habits and sticking to them?
What worked for me was:
  • Breaking it down into smaller steps (Short term to long term goals, daily, weekly, monthly goals)
  • Strong reason to stop (Health, Religion, Relationships)
  • Change the people who influence the behavior you want to get rid of (Stay away from people/environment which cause the behavior)
 

Jessie Blight

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Hi Jessie, welcome to the forum.

In my experience, breaking a stupid habit such as smoking whether it's cigarettes or weed really needs a harsh reality check from yourself. As soon as you have a moment of clarity that you are in control of your desires rather than controlled by your desires, you'll realise you're wasting your time, money and health on a habit that you can easily live without.

Cravings? f*ck that, I'm in control of my desires.

Peer pressure/FOMO? f*ck that, this is my life and I make my own decisions.

Unfortunately no one can give you this moment of clarity, it has to come from within. I know I am oversimplifying here and it isn't as easy as a flick of a switch, but I think you can learn from this advice.

Passing your driving test is a good place to start as it's something you'll be able to see tangible improvements in as time goes by. Assuming you're in the UK like your profile says, go and do your theory test before you've even sat in the driver's seat. That way you'll have a timeframe of when you need to have passed your practical as you get two years before you need to retake your theory. Do a couple of hour lessons a week and you'll get better every time, being able to see yourself improving and getting closer towards your goal will give you a mental boost towards achieving your other goals.

You're probably better off reading through all of the Gold/Notable threads on here before going onto Udemy. There's way, way, way more value in some of these threads with real life examples and not to mention it's FREE and you can ask questions and get advice.

Good luck and I encourage you to start a progress thread to keep yourself accountable.

I understand. I feel as if I’m looking up in water and I just haven’t been able to break the surface yet. I need to break the surface and come to the realisation that THIS IS MY LIFE and I CAN do what I want and get to the places I want using my initiative and knowledge.

You have assumed correctly. I have booked my therory test for March and my lessons are all around that so I should be driving by April! But I’ll start a progress thread to keep me on track.

I’ve been reading as many GOLD/NOTABLE as I can and I feel like my first step, education wise should be learning how to create a website and gathering knowledge in that area.

Thank you for your advice! I will take it on board.
 
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D

Deleted50669

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The fact that you took it upon yourself to take initiative, acknowledge your shortcomings, and seek help from people with more experience shows that you're probably not as dumb as you think. At 19 you are inexperienced, however, which is ok and normal.

One thing that will help you is to assume less and observe more. You are speaking from what you think you know about yourself and about the world. You will be served well to question how much of it is fact vs. a false belief. From there, Pay specific attention to those around you, and solve a recurring problem.
 

Thoelt53

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Replacing weed with exercise will help you immensely in your journey to quit.

Exercise releases a neurotransmitter called anandamide that activates the some of the same cannabinoid receptors as THC.

Addictions are tied to bad habits. And bad habits are easier to break when replaced with a better habit.
 

The Abundant Man

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Take a pen and a paper.

Draw 7 x 7 squares.

Check one square with an X for each day you don't smoke weed.

Don't break the chain of X's.

Apply method to other habits if you want to.
Sounds like Benjamin Franklin's 13 Virtues Journal. He had 13 virtues for each week. He'd check mark for each virtue that he did. He'd complete all virtues 4 times a year. After each time, he felt better even though he was still never perfect because there were times he missed a virtue. His number 1 vice was womanizing.
 
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Ninjakid

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It sounds like you're not very clear about what you want to do. It's really hard to get yourself to do anything if you're not even sure what that is.
 

The Abundant Man

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It sounds like you're not very clear about what you want to do. It's really hard to get yourself to do anything if you're not even sure what that is.
"If you don't know what you want. You end up with a lot that you don't. " - Fight Club

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
 

MJ DeMarco

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You don't sound like a dumbass to me.

My next few goals are to Stop smoking, Pass my driving test, Add to my education with Umedy and work towards my own business

You're starting your process. You have some ideas where you want to go, and what needs to change. Broad yes, but stop smoking is pretty specific.

That puts you light-years ahead of most people.

Welcome aboard.
 
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Mattie

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Hi Everyone

I thought I would write a little introduction and maybe get some feedback. I’m a 19year old Housekeeper. I’ve read The Fastlane Millionaire and just about to start reading Unscripted . I’m having trouble finding a way to provide value into people’s lives. I have been helping a lot of people recently and I do feel as if I’m moving in the right direction. My next few goals are to Stop smoking, Pass my driving test, Add to my education with Umedy and work towards my own business. However, as you can see those are quite board goals and I feel like I need to specify more. I am NOT asking for help just a push in the right direction no matter how brutal you tell it to me. Thanks ❤️
You have to start somewhere. Just start educating yourself in here and apply it to your life.
 

lowtek

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Are you a dumbass?

Survey says no.

You just need to get your act together, which it sounds like you're doing. 19 is a great time to start that process, and I look forward to seeing your progress.
 

0dysseus

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Divide and conquer.

Probably start with the driver's license. That shouldn't be that hard, and it will give you a much needed momentum for winning.

Cut the weed next. Or just reduce it, everyone deserves a buzz every now and then, but you gotta be the one who controls it, not the other way around. Everything will become clearer and easier. Honestly, I don't think you'll be able to make a business work while high. Some people claim they can remain entirely functional, for me it has never been possible, just too much clouds in my head.

What are you planning on learning on Udemy? Just something to think about: maybe you don't really need to learn much theory, it may make more sense to try and start the hustle and learn by doing. Depends.

Good luck.
 
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Jessie Blight

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Thank you all for your replies, advice and motivation! I currently haven’t smoked for 2days which is the first time in about two years!! I never thought I would get the advice everyone given me especially from MJ DeMarco! Thank you once again and keep a look out for my progress thread that I shall be starting next week!
 

Sander

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Thank you all for your replies, advice and motivation! I currently haven’t smoked for 2days which is the first time in about two years!! I never thought I would get the advice everyone given me especially from MJ DeMarco! Thank you once again and keep a look out for my progress thread that I shall be starting next week!

Keep it up. We are here for you.
 

Nigel B

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19 and looking to ensure you get Unscripted - that is no dumb move!
Stopping smoking - the only smart move after the dumb one of starting. You'll feel better and have more money in your pocket.
Looking for how you add value - you are years ahead of most of your generation, don't worry you'll figure it out.
Remember you should be at the very best time for taking risks in terms of business - you should have little to no debt, few dependants (ideally none) and therefore have the luxury to try and fail a few times. Risk aversion gets worse the older you get, and obligations and commitments go up.
Avoid debt now. Avoid debt, oh - and avoid debt.
Make money, invest it in education or business - rinse-repeat. But at this stage avoid debt until you have a better feel for income and cashflow.
Good luck.
 
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