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How do I switch my mindset?

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Anything related to matters of the mind

Prusak

New Contributor
Apr 28, 2022
14
9
I am an event driven person, I would say to the extreme, unfortunately I was told by my parents, teachers and peers that I was clever on the back of good grades at school, these didn't come from hard work, similar thing happened at university I graduated with good grades but didn't really work consistently but studied very hard ahead of the exams, in real life I had an okay career but I noticed people who worked hard were overtaking me, the older I get the more often it gets. It's also visible in my physical health- I need to lose weight but struggling to embark on the process and be consistent, I also struggle with consistent effort in education/self-improvement, I feel like I'm lazy and hardwired to be event driven since childhood but looking if I can shift my mindset and move my life forward.
 
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BizyDad

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If you are event driven, how do you like the sum of your life events so far?

Event driven people are motivated by getting better events in their life. You sound like you are no longer event driven.

You are settled into a rut called "things keep getting a little worse but its not so bad and I can deal with it".

Change.

How do you change? By changing.

How do you walk? By walking. Decide to walk. Stand up. Put one foot in front of the other. One at a time. Each step becomes easier, and your confidence grows. Don't fall. If something gets in your way, stop and move it or go around it. If you fall, stand up and repeat process. You will eventually learn the habit so you don't even have to think about it.

How do you change? By changing. Decide to change. Stand up. Put one change in front of the other. One at a time. Each step becomes easier, and your confidence grows. Don't fail or relapse. If something gets in your way, stop and move it or go around it. If you fail or relapse, stand up and repeat process. You will eventually learn the habit so you don't even have to think about it.
 

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I am an event driven person, I would say to the extreme, unfortunately I was told by my parents, teachers and peers that I was clever on the back of good grades at school, these didn't come from hard work, similar thing happened at university I graduated with good grades but didn't really work consistently but studied very hard ahead of the exams, in real life I had an okay career but I noticed people who worked hard were overtaking me, the older I get the more often it gets. It's also visible in my physical health- I need to lose weight but struggling to embark on the process and be consistent, I also struggle with consistent effort in education/self-improvement, I feel like I'm lazy and hardwired to be event driven since childhood but looking if I can shift my mindset and move my life forward.
Good for you. I was the same in University… I didn’t attend lectures and did two weeks work just before exams each year. We weren’t judged on attending lectures, just on exam results.

That translates to business. The market doesn’t give two hoots how hard you work, or how consistent you’ve been. They just want what’s in it for them.

So how can you harness your natural tendency to not work if it isn’t necessary? Can you come up with novel solutions that get the results without the work? (People will pay handsomely for that talent btw.)

Glass half empty or glass half full. Feck that thinking. I have an empty glass, how cool!
 

Prusak

New Contributor
Apr 28, 2022
14
9
If you are event driven, how do you like the sum of your life events so far?

Event driven people are motivated by getting better events in their life. You sound like you are no longer event driven.

You are settled into a rut called "things keep getting a little worse but its not so bad and I can deal with it".

Change.

How do you change? By changing.

How do you walk? By walking. Decide to walk. Stand up. Put one foot in front of the other. One at a time. Each step becomes easier, and your confidence grows. Don't fall. If something gets in your way, stop and move it or go around it. If you fall, stand up and repeat process. You will eventually learn the habit so you don't even have to think about it.

How do you change? By changing. Decide to change. Stand up. Put one change in front of the other. One at a time. Each step becomes easier, and your confidence grows. Don't fail or relapse. If something gets in your way, stop and move it or go around it. If you fail or relapse, stand up and repeat process. You will eventually learn the habit so you don't even have to think about it.
If you are event driven, how do you like the sum of your life events so far?

Event driven people are motivated by getting better events in their life. You sound like you are no longer event driven.

You are settled into a rut called "things keep getting a little worse but its not so bad and I can deal with it".

Change.

How do you change? By changing.

How do you walk? By walking. Decide to walk. Stand up. Put one foot in front of the other. One at a time. Each step becomes easier, and your confidence grows. Don't fall. If something gets in your way, stop and move it or go around it. If you fall, stand up and repeat process. You will eventually learn the habit so you don't even have to think about it.

How do you change? By changing. Decide to change. Stand up. Put one change in front of the other. One at a time. Each step becomes easier, and your confidence grows. Don't fail or relapse. If something gets in your way, stop and move it or go around it. If you fail or relapse, stand up and repeat process. You will eventually learn the habit so you don't even have to think about it.
If you are event driven, how do you like the sum of your life events so far?

Event driven people are motivated by getting better events in their life. You sound like you are no longer event driven.

You are settled into a rut called "things keep getting a little worse but its not so bad and I can deal with it".

Change.

How do you change? By changing.

How do you walk? By walking. Decide to walk. Stand up. Put one foot in front of the other. One at a time. Each step becomes easier, and your confidence grows. Don't fall. If something gets in your way, stop and move it or go around it. If you fall, stand up and repeat process. You will eventually learn the habit so you don't even have to think about it.

How do you change? By changing. Decide to change. Stand up. Put one change in front of the other. One at a time. Each step becomes easier, and your confidence grows. Don't fail or relapse. If something gets in your way, stop and move it or go around it. If you fail or relapse, stand up and repeat process. You will eventually learn the habit so you don't even have to think about it.
I agree that I am settled into a rut, now I'm 30 years old it's different, you're not very young and full of dreams, neither are you old, you tend to settle for it, I guess I had my eyes opened a bit when I moved from my previous job to a new one and then I moved again and again, I mean I've increased my income and job title since last year, I also bought my mortgaged house, however, I've never been happy, there was always something wrong e.g. toxic culture that even recruiters admitted was typical for one of the company's, misjudgement on my side etc. I stopped looking for new jobs, I no longer want to try and change jobs to chase a better title/more money, job hunting is very event driven- you sell yourself on one day and don't have to put any more effort into it.
 
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BizyDad

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I agree that I am settled into a rut, now I'm 30 years old it's different, you're not very young and full of dreams, neither are you old, you tend to settle for it, I guess I had my eyes opened a bit when I moved from my previous job to a new one and then I moved again and again, I mean I've increased my income and job title since last year, I also bought my mortgaged house, however, I've never been happy, there was always something wrong e.g. toxic culture that even recruiters admitted was typical for one of the company's, misjudgement on my side etc. I stopped looking for new jobs, I no longer want to try and change jobs to chase a better title/more money, job hunting is very event driven- you sell yourself on one day and don't have to put any more effort into it.
I'm 47 and full of dreams. More importantly, full of goals. If you're looking for sympathy, you're talking to the wrong guy.

I feel like I'm hearing a lot of excuses. A lot of self blame.

Not a lot of action. Not a lot of taking responsibility.

Most importantly, not a lot of improvement.

You either get busy living, or you get busy dying. Choose one.

There's lots of stories on here of people all kinds of ages who have turned their lives around. Stick around the forum. Read some of their stories.

I just posted this one the other day about a guy who turned his life around at 40.

MINDSET - The Art Of The Comeback: A Lesson From The Creator Of Yellowstone

When you're ready, start taking real action. The only regret you'll have is that you didn't start sooner...
 

Prusak

New Contributor
Apr 28, 2022
14
9
I'm 47 and full of dreams. More importantly, full of goals. If you're looking for sympathy, you're talking to the wrong guy.

I feel like I'm hearing a lot of excuses. A lot of self blame.

Not a lot of action. Not a lot of taking responsibility.

Most importantly, not a lot of improvement.

You either get busy living, or you get busy dying. Choose one.

There's lots of stories on here of people all kinds of ages who have turned their lives around. Stick around the forum. Read some of their stories.

I just posted this one the other day about a guy who turned his life around at 40.

MINDSET - The Art Of The Comeback: A Lesson From The Creator Of Yellowstone

When you're ready, start taking real action. The only regret you'll have is that you didn't start sooner...
I don't want pity, I do want to work hard on myself and be consistent, I've not done very well but I want to improve, I know I can, I agree that where I am is a consequence of my choices.
 

BizyDad

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I don't want pity, I do want to work hard on myself and be consistent, I've not done very well but I want to improve, I know I can, I agree that where I am is a consequence of my choices.
There is an endless divide between "want to" and "doing it".

Pick one thing to change. Tell us what new action is going to replace the old action. Then go do it. Do it again tomorrow. Then come back here tomorrow and tell us how it went.

You want to lose weight? Pick something. Anything.

Examples... Go for a walk. Or do as many push-ups as you can. I don't care if it's a 10 minute walk or you can only do one push-up. Do it today. Do it again tomorrow. Come back report results.

Stop wanting to change your life, and start changing your life.

If you aren't taking steps to change your life, then you don't want it bad enough so I don't really want to hear how much you want it...
 
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Andy Black

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“Tell me what you’ve done and I’ll tell you who you are.”
 

Angler

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When you're ready, start taking real action. The only regret you'll have is that you didn't start sooner...
This.
now I'm 30 years old it's different, you're not very young and full of dreams,
Interesting statement here. And are you being honest with yourself in that you are not full of dreams? If you had to take a bullet right now reading this, would you say there's nothing else you want? Something worth fighting, struggling, waking everyday, and kicking a$$ for? I'd say there has to be something, otherwise what is the point of posting this thread or visiting FLF.

For me, I'm event driven too. But that's not an excuse. I see that event as my fuel. The event happens to be in the future, where I'm living off in a farm with a big family and my parents are enjoying their last few decades.

For that goal I'm willing to die in the process of making it work even if I might go hungry or lonely. For that single event, I'm okay with the suckage of going through the process.

You don't have to see event idealization as a bad thing if that event is what you want and gets you fired up.

Don't make it your crutch, and it will not be.

Perhaps you don't have a clear vision of what you really want. If events are what motivate you to get something rolling then picture the grandest, most unimaginable, future that you can possibly have. Have it on your mind, let it consume you, and cause you to obsess with doing whatever it takes to make it real.
 

Kevin88660

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I am an event driven person, I would say to the extreme, unfortunately I was told by my parents, teachers and peers that I was clever on the back of good grades at school, these didn't come from hard work, similar thing happened at university I graduated with good grades but didn't really work consistently but studied very hard ahead of the exams, in real life I had an okay career but I noticed people who worked hard were overtaking me, the older I get the more often it gets. It's also visible in my physical health- I need to lose weight but struggling to embark on the process and be consistent, I also struggle with consistent effort in education/self-improvement, I feel like I'm lazy and hardwired to be event driven since childhood but looking if I can shift my mindset and move my life forward.
Start work hard then. :)

Sounds like you realized that there is no more short cuts available at your current stage of life now.

Good old fashioned motivational videos and materials might help.
 
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Johnny boy

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I've always been a shitty student, a shitty employee, could never do anything good enough to be a "pro" at it. I didn't work hard for many things and it all felt useless anyways.

I've always been a bit lazy, so lazy that I work my a$$ off to build a business of other people doing the work. I'll work 16 hours a day for 120 days straight just to get other people to do the work for me. lol!

When you find something you care about and see as a true opportunity, you will work your a$$ off nonstop with unwavering discipline and it won't feel like work.

I don't even "work" nowadays. I feel like it's raining money and all I'm doing is running around finding big enough buckets to catch all the money in. Would YOU call that work? You'd be busy and running around and completely focused, but it wouldn't feel like work.
 

Antifragile

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I am an event driven person, I would say to the extreme, unfortunately I was told by my parents, teachers and peers that I was clever on the back of good grades at school, these didn't come from hard work, similar thing happened at university I graduated with good grades but didn't really work consistently but studied very hard ahead of the exams, in real life I had an okay career but I noticed people who worked hard were overtaking me, the older I get the more often it gets. It's also visible in my physical health- I need to lose weight but struggling to embark on the process and be consistent, I also struggle with consistent effort in education/self-improvement, I feel like I'm lazy and hardwired to be event driven since childhood but looking if I can shift my mindset and move my life forward.

Are you constantly chasing the next big thing? Do you find yourself always reacting to events, rather than being proactive? If so, then it's time for a change. It's time to switch your mindset from being event-driven to one of consistent performance.

But you already know this, hence this thread.

Here's how you can make the shift:

1. Set goals and priorities.
When you're always reacting to events, it's easy to lose sight of what's really important. That's why it's crucial to set goals and priorities. What do you want to achieve? What's your top priority? Once you know the answers to these questions, you can start making a plan of action.

2. Focus on the process, not the outcome.
If you're only focused on the outcome, then you're more likely to be disappointed when things don't go your way. Instead, focus on the process and what you can do to improve. As long as you're making progress, you're on the right track.

3. Take things one step at a time.
Trying to do too many things at once will only lead to overwhelm and frustration. So, take things one step at a time. Focus on the task at hand and break it down into manageable steps.

4. Be patient.
Rome wasn't built in a day. And neither are successful habits. So, be patient as you make the shift from event-driven to consistent performance. It takes time to develop new habits and see results.

5. Stay motivated.
There will be times when it's tough to stay on track. That's why it's important to find ways to stay motivated. Maybe you set yourself a goal to achieve or reward yourself for hitting milestones. Whatever it is, make sure you have a plan in place to keep yourself moving forward.


Making the shift from event-driven to consistent performance isn't easy. But imagine your typical day on repeat for the next 10 years, where will you be? Are you scared or excited visualizing this?


Good luck.

[edit] P.S. I am going to shamelessly quote my own posts here that might help you further:

 
Last edited:

saint_kilda

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May 12, 2020
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6
Australia
So, if you don't want to be event-driven anymore - what do you want to be? Forgive me if I'm wrong but I sense a lack of direction and purpose here. Who do you want to be? What do you want to become? What would an ideal life look like for you?

It might be worth doing some work and answering these questions for yourself before jumping to the conclusion that it's your mindset that's the problem.

Other posters have given amazing advice on how to change your mindset and what it takes to succeed. But without a clear goal I don't think you'll have a reason to implement any of it, no matter how much it'll change your life for the better.

Good luck.
 
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WillHurtDontCare

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get out of your head and start doing shit

your mindset is ultimately a product of the actions that you take

IDGAF if you're bad at something - if you want to develop the mindset that you're good at something, keep F*cking doing it until you're actually good at it
 

DarkZero

Contributor
Jun 29, 2013
50
58
You're ONLY 30 years old. You're young. Plenty years to go. Patience is a virtue.

What you really need is momentum. Momentum starts with movement. Movement in ANY direction is good for the mind.

Action beats anxiety.
Success loves speed.

You really just need to move. Start getting inspiration. Reread millionaire fastlane .

Get a "pep in your step". Whatever you need to look at the world glass half full, not glass half empty.

It only takes one single moment to start this chain reaction.

Positive thinking is a real thing.

If you focus on the result you want, you will start taking the actions that will lead there (not directly, but the movement alone will open the doors).

This may all sound like motivational ra-ra nonsense. But it's not.

You have to force yourself into action to get in the right mindframe that will have you thinking clearly.

Do a little bit of visionary work and dream a bit. Get yourself back on the path you want to go. That won't be the full driving force when things actually get going, it's just to get you started.

Once you get going, the internal drive will grow larger and larger and that will push you more.
 

scottydoes

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Mar 28, 2020
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I am an event driven person, I would say to the extreme, unfortunately I was told by my parents, teachers and peers that I was clever on the back of good grades at school, these didn't come from hard work, similar thing happened at university I graduated with good grades but didn't really work consistently but studied very hard ahead of the exams, in real life I had an okay career but I noticed people who worked hard were overtaking me, the older I get the more often it gets. It's also visible in my physical health- I need to lose weight but struggling to embark on the process and be consistent, I also struggle with consistent effort in education/self-improvement, I feel like I'm lazy and hardwired to be event driven since childhood but looking if I can shift my mindset and move my life forward.
Prusak, you are aware of the problem which is a good start. Action will create clarity. Read that again. Action will create clarity.

Now is the time to start looking inward and working on yourself. Read the books, listen to the podcasts, take the courses, etc etc, whatever works for you and get complete with yourself. Then think about what/who you needed as a kid that would have helped you tremendously and try doing that for awhile. Do a bunch of experiments to see what fills your cup.

I recently read Atomic Habits and I think it might help get you started in doing the work. Systems and habits are very helpful.
 
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whitworldwide

New Contributor
Jul 6, 2015
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I am an event driven person, I would say to the extreme, unfortunately I was told by my parents, teachers and peers that I was clever on the back of good grades at school, these didn't come from hard work, similar thing happened at university I graduated with good grades but didn't really work consistently but studied very hard ahead of the exams, in real life I had an okay career but I noticed people who worked hard were overtaking me, the older I get the more often it gets. It's also visible in my physical health- I need to lose weight but struggling to embark on the process and be consistent, I also struggle with consistent effort in education/self-improvement, I feel like I'm lazy and hardwired to be event driven since childhood but looking if I can shift my mindset and move my life forward.

Prusak, you are aware of the problem which is a good start. Action will create clarity. Read that again. Action will create clarity.

Now is the time to start looking inward and working on yourself. Read the books, listen to the podcasts, take the courses, etc etc, whatever works for you and get complete with yourself. Then think about what/who you needed as a kid that would have helped you tremendously and try doing that for awhile. Do a bunch of experiments to see what fills your cup.

I recently read Atomic Habits and I think it might help get you started in doing the work. Systems and habits are very helpful.

I was about to reply that Atomic Habits by James Clear would be a great read for you, but someone beat me to it :)

It's a fabulous book that teaches you how to add consistency to your life with simple techniques. I think you'll benefit from it greatly...
 

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