Does anyone REALLY wake up excited in the morning?

[Trevor Kuntz]

I'm a perfectionist and I feel like often it's not worth it to invest effort in something if the end result will be subpar. For example, I see zero point in writing a book that will be read by a few hundred people. Doing things on a small scale just doesn't satisfy me. And if I want to do something on a larger scale and find someone doing it way better, I also think it's a waste of my time because it's just inefficient.

This might be the type of area where a therapist might actually help. I go to a therapist (he considers himself a counselor more so than a therapist) every two months and it has been quite helpful to me in learning how to communicate better within my relationship with my girlfriend. That was the original reason I first met with him, but over time, we have gotten into many other areas of life including philosophy/religion and we have quite lively debates! He is a Christian and active in a church but I value his advice a lot even when I disagree with some aspects of his worldview. He is also much older than me (in his 60s) and has experienced many of the issues I've gone through and offers good advice on how he and his wife worked through them.

Anyway, I say all this just to say that discounting therapists/counselors as not helpful could be discounting a potential tool for you to utilize in living a better life. It took me 4 years to finally see one and I probably would have made a lot more progress sooner had I not waited so long.

I thought writing my newsletter would give me some of that but frankly, I don't get that feeling from writing. I can even get thank-you letters and stuff and it's nice and all but it doesn't make me feel anything. Maybe because it's online and it's too abstract to feel as if I'm truly helping someone.

I don't really know your personal situation or much about you. I suspect I might have met you at a summit, but I am not 100% sure. I don't think there have been that many Polish attendees at the summits and I distinctly remember a Polish author there who was chatting with a small group of guys near me. I was just dicking around on my phone for 20 minutes and not engaging, but then that Polish guy ended up being the first presenter and my favorite presenter of the day. If that was you, just know that I spent the whole day regretting that I didn't talk to you before the sessions began because I really appreciated your story and lifestyle.

Anyway, I think it is much harder to see or understand our impact online. I can put shit tons of "good" stuff into the ether online, but I really have no way of knowing its direct impact.

I have been playing piano for 22 years. My favorite concert I ever performed was for 14 people in my home. One time, I played a few pieces at MJ's house on his out-of-tune grand piano and that was such a great experience (because he appreciated it even though it didn't sound great), that after I broke my thumb and unintentionally gave up playing for 2 years, the memory of playing at his house was my primary motivation to relearn all the pieces I had forgotten. Once I relearned them, I recorded them and put them on Youtube, and if only 14 people ever hear them, that is fine with me. I put tons of hours into recording them, not for other people, but for my future self if a day comes when I cannot play anymore. I know some people will find the recordings, but view counts tells me nothing about the personal experiences of the people who have encountered my stuff online compared to interacting with people in the real world.

I think you are right that online feedback is too abstract and indirect, so my advice would be to focus on tangible, in-person service, whether that is volunteering in a soup kitchen one day a week or picking up trash on the side of the road while listening to a podcast or taking a dog for a walk at a local rescue. I think each of those actions is more valuable to a person than any online validation could ever be.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Kung Fu Steve]

I'm a very messed up human being

I'm a perfectionist

Identity is the strongest force in human psychology.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

I guess the lesson here maybe is that I'm violating the commandment of need.

That might not be the case. Frequently it’s not the need that you’re solving that is the issue, but your targeting.

In your case, you don’t see lifechanging transformations in people, and therefore, you conclude that there is no need and feel unhappy. You need to investigate why there is no transformation… is it what you’re doing that’s wrong, or is it just addressed to the wrong people?

For example, trying to coach an agency owner who makes $1K/mo to make $10K/mo is VERY hard. And you’ll fail in 9/10 cases even if your method works.

On the other hand if you want to take an agency owner who makes $10K/mo and take him to $100K/mo, if you have the right knowledgw and process you’ll succeed in virtually 100% of the cases. Why?

It’s because working with beginners (and more generally with people who have lots of problems) is very very hard. A beginner isn’t missing just one thing. He’s missing 100. His problem isn’t just the strategy. It’s the work ethic. And the mindset. And his family situation. And and and.

In your case, I think you need to start moving in the coaching direction and deliver your knowledge to people who can take it and make a tremendous transformation with it. Maybe people who are already atheletes and are training to do super hard things. They can pay you, AND they already have a solid foundation upon which your knowledge and expertise can make a profound difference.

But if you’re targeting average Joe… average Joe won’t, in all likelihood, make a huge transformation. Even if you ask MJ, out or probably the millions of readers he has had, how many have changed their lives in a truly profound way? Probably max 1-2% I’d imagine, quite possibly much lower? Maybe I’m wrong, but getting beginners to totally turn their lives around is very very hard work. I have maximum respect for MJ sticking with it and doing all the work he’s doing here on the forum, we need people like that who are willing to sacrifice some returns on their end to make the world a better place.

 

[MTF]

"I should be happy." -- what has to happen in order for you to be happy? I can guarantee that's a long list for you. What would have to happen for you to wake up happy? Excited? Has there EVER been a time in your life you've woken up happy and excited? (I know it's never ever happened -- but if it did -- what was going on? What were you thinking about? What were you focused on?)

I need to clarify that it's not that I feel unhappy. It's that I don't feel super excited, particularly when starting the day. And also that I lack purpose in life. Maybe it sounds contradictory but I see these as different things. I guess maybe I'm not satisfied enough with just being okay even though logically it makes no sense as most people would kill just to feel like that.

So to answer this question, not much has to happen for me to feel happy (or maybe a better word here is "content.") If I were to identify just one common thread, it's being in nature. I'm content when swimming, surfing, or freediving. I'm content on a walk in the forest. I'm content sitting by the river, listening to birds and looking at things around.

I'm thinking that this path of getting even closer to nature may actually lead me somewhere else. I might try some long-distance hiking in the wilderness this year. Maybe that simplicity will reset my mind and remove the need for "meaning."

side note, check your testosterone levels

I do super extensive blood tests every year (edit: previously I wrote "day" lol). I also check free testosterone. It's always fine.

If you want that exercise again just send me a message I'll shoot it over.

Thank you. I'd appreciate it if you could send me that exercise again. I'll take a look and see if I can find the document I created the last time I did it.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MTF]

I don't really know your personal situation or much about you. I suspect I might have met you at a summit, but I am not 100% sure. I don't think there have been that many Polish attendees at the summits and I distinctly remember a Polish author there who was chatting with a small group of guys near me. I was just dicking around on my phone for 20 minutes and not engaging, but then that Polish guy ended up being the first presenter and my favorite presenter of the day. If that was you, just know that I spent the whole day regretting that I didn't talk to you before the sessions began because I really appreciated your story and lifestyle.

If the presentation included koalas (if you remember that), that was me.

I think you are right that online feedback is too abstract and indirect, so my advice would be to focus on tangible, in-person service, whether that is volunteering in a soup kitchen one day a week or picking up trash on the side of the road while listening to a podcast or taking a dog for a walk at a local rescue. I think each of those actions is more valuable to a person than any online validation could ever be.

I agree with that. I had this realization some time ago that my life may have become too online-centric and I've been addressing that and spending more time away from the Internet (summer helps a lot with that).

 

[Antifragile]

speaking to a normie therapist

 

[MTF]

It’s because working with beginners (and more generally with people who have lots of problems) is very very hard. A beginner isn’t missing just one thing. He’s missing 100. His problem isn’t just the strategy. It’s the work ethic. And the mindset. And his family situation. And and and.

That makes a lot of sense and it matches my observations as well. I've received so many emails from such beginners (particularly from developing countries) that at this point my default response is no response because I'm just too bitter to try to help knowing it won't help at all.

In your case, I think you need to start moving in the coaching direction and deliver your knowledge to people who can take it and make a tremendous transformation with it. Maybe people who are already atheletes and are training to do super hard things. They can pay you, AND they already have a solid foundation upon which your knowledge and expertise can make a profound difference.

Because the stuff I cover in my newsletter is so reliant on my mental state, I'd make a terrible coach. I'd be a better swimming coach (stuff that doesn't require me to feel REALLY excited about life) than a personal development coach (sounds a bit like a joke considering this thread).

I have maximum respect for MJ sticking with it and doing all the work he’s doing here on the forum, we need people like that who are willing to sacrifice some returns on their end to make the world a better place.

Same.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[eramart]

Often, I wake up full of strength and positive emotions. The problem is that it fizzles in the next thirty minutes or so. I am actually surprised that no one mentioned this kind of problem, I thought that it is widespread.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

my default response is no response because I'm just too bitter to try to help knowing it won't help at all

I know how you feel… I think at heart you are a giver, but like most givers and people who enjoy helping others, when you see that what you’ve done hasn’t actually helped the person, you feel depressed, upset or angry. Very often, before you understand what’s happening, that anger turns against yourself, because you feel like it’s your fault that it didn’t help. That’s a dark place to be in.

Find a way to give that also gives you what you need - satisfaction that you’ve helped someone. Typically this involves going after the right people, who can actually benefit from what you have. Back in the day Gary Halbert used to say that your list is the most important… have your marketing filter out people who aren’t a good fit. Here’s how Gary Halbert did it to get a girlfriend lol: https://thegaryhalbertletter.com/ne...bert_Personal_Ad/Gary_Halbert_Personal_Ad.pdf

The targeting is more important than your message here!

 

[Happyheart]

I know I wake up excited about the day. You are probably right that ther is some genetic capacity involved as I am naturally a very cheerful person. But I wasn‘t always a very productive person and I used to think I was an evening person.

Factors that I found to have a negative impact:
- puberty: the older you are, the more likely to wake up spontaneously at 06:30 a.m.
- small children: having broken nights has a big effect
- Working hours were you are obliged to be somewhere at a certain time. I would wake up and be afraid I had overslept and missed something important (and often did).
- thyroid problems: Thyroid function was still normal, but always in the lowest quadrant. Every morning I would wake up and be horrified that the night was over already because I would still be so tired. Regardless of how long I slept or if I had an afternoon nap, I would still be tired. As I also had other thyroid symproms, I described myself a low dose of meds and after a few weeks I was a different person. Now I genuinely wake up excited to be able to get up and do something!

Importantly, working for yourself instead of for someone else is a major boost.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[David Fitz]

I’m a night owl too.

Having kids I learned (had) to function on little sleep, so I’m guilty of still not getting enough sleep even though the kids are self-sufficient in the mornings now.

Is it the cleaning business that you’re currently grinding at?

Oh I know you're a night owl when we done those Google Ads calls we were up til all hours

Yeah it's the cleaning business I'm grinding at. It's crazy how well you can do when you focus on one thing and keep your head down and just keep working at it.

 

[connorkennxdy]

I’d still try the magnesium, doctors and their healthy ranges are a joke. do you get restless legs?

Also what’s your sleep environment like? Dark?

Do you have sleep apnea? Maybe tape your mouth closed while you sleep. I did this and I’ll never sleep without it now.

Plan something each week that you are excited for to look forward to.

I was about to say vitamin levels and ranges are really stupid . Even double daily recommended intake can be abismal.

 

[Andy Black]

I don't want this to sound whiny. It's just an observation but... If I have to practically BEG people to let me serve them, then I lose enthusiasm to do it. This begging usually comes down to marketing my stuff which I hate doing. I never had to beg my parents (or any animal or any friend) to let me serve them. I just did that and they were thankful.

So my business efforts lead to disappointment because it feels as if I'm trying to help people who either don't need help or value it very little. So why bother.

The job of a writer is often like that. Maybe you inspire someone but the truth is that very, very few people do anything with this kind of inspiration. So again, why bother.

I now have over 500 subscribers on my list but from what I've noticed my true impact is close to zero and is no match for shallow but "cool" social media BS. I get way more reward from encouraging my friend to do a workout and guiding him or even from picking up a few pieces of trash in the forest than from following my supposed "superpower."

I guess the lesson here maybe is that I'm violating the commandment of need.

"Help the people in motion." (Amy Hoy)

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Kung Fu Steve]

"Help the people in motion." (Amy Hoy)

@MTF

When I first started working for Tony (and I think you've heard me tell this story before) I thought I'd stand up in front of a group of people and get EVERYBODY signed up for the seminar with my passion, my story, and my conviction.

Nobody signed up.

I was so upset. There were literally times I would cry because these people would tell me their stories and how rough their life had been and what they had been through -- and I *KNEW* I had the solution but I just couldn't get them to sign up. In fact, I would often offer to PAY for these people to go -- and they still wouldn't go!

I was depressed daily. I started to develop beliefs that said things like "Even if I beg people, they won't change their lives" and "I was never going to make an impact on the world" and "I should just give up."

I learned a simple phrase that saved me: HILA.

"High Intention, Low Attachment"

Give it your all, do your best, but do NOT be attached to the outcome.

To quote an old book "do not cast your pearls before swine"

I'd say cast your pearls to everyone. Let them decide whether it's valuable.

 

[samuraijack]

I kinda feel the same way now tbh

No "fire in the belly" sorta thing.

Maybe its because im very comfortable now in every part of my life. I think you are too if im not mistaken from your past threads. I dont have to work anytime soon, and all my physical / sexual needs are taken care of.

When i was broke and just starting my business, i had very clear cut things I needed to do, timeframes that I would wake up and be excited to complete by. Then money coming in would give me more kicks.

I really haven't found a solution just yet. Reminding myself that my actions are not just a means to an end, that life is a playground and since im still alive i might as well play to the fullest gives me a short term boost of motivation, but it quickly fades.

Maybe its coming full circle. To think with a beginners mind almost, and just throw myself in and start doing things without coming up with reasons not to.

Also I find that when im very comfortable, theres usually something else in my life that drains me of energy and takes up my time. Stopping it is a whole other thing

 

[MTF]

I know how you feel… I think at heart you are a giver, but like most givers and people who enjoy helping others, when you see that what you’ve done hasn’t actually helped the person, you feel depressed, upset or angry. Very often, before you understand what’s happening, that anger turns against yourself, because you feel like it’s your fault that it didn’t help. That’s a dark place to be in.

I just think that what I do is too obscure and that people doing stuff that's objectively of low-value (look at your average influencer) get more rewarded. So it makes no sense to invest so much effort to appeal to such a small number of people who do find value in what I do. Why write long, thoughtful articles and work on my newsletter if people posting 5-second social media videos get more engagement and all the money.

Find a way to give that also gives you what you need - satisfaction that you’ve helped someone. Typically this involves going after the right people, who can actually benefit from what you have. Back in the day Gary Halbert used to say that your list is the most important… have your marketing filter out people who aren’t a good fit. Here’s how Gary Halbert did it to get a girlfriend lol: https://thegaryhalbertletter.com/ne...bert_Personal_Ad/Gary_Halbert_Personal_Ad.pdf

Damn Gary was such a great writer. I never saw this ad but it's awesome (and also a bit sad at the same time).

"High Intention, Low Attachment"

Give it your all, do your best, but do NOT be attached to the outcome.

To quote an old book "do not cast your pearls before swine"

I'd say cast your pearls to everyone. Let them decide whether it's valuable.

I guess if I were getting paid for this then I probably would care less about whether people are using it or not. But since I'm neither getting paid nor having any impact then it seems senseless to do it.

Which probably means I'm in the wrong business (if I can call my newsletter a business).

Maybe its because im very comfortable now in every part of my life. I think you are too if im not mistaken from your past threads. I dont have to work anytime soon, and all my physical / sexual needs are taken care of.

When i was broke and just starting my business, i had very clear cut things I needed to do, timeframes that I would wake up and be excited to complete by. Then money coming in would give me more kicks.

Yeah I live a good life. I challenge myself daily, though, so I have a lot of discomfort in my life as well.

As for the second paragraph - definitely. I was very driven when I needed to make a lot of money. Once you do, and money was a strong driver for you, nothing can replace that motivation (and you can't bring back the same desire to make money).

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Timmy C]

Does anyone honestly wake up excited in the morning?

If so, what do you do?

I've always felt that this whole "create the life you can't wait to wake up to" is bullshit propagated by self-help gurus and maybe only lived by abnormally happy people who have some kind of a genetic make-up to feel like that most of the time.

Most days when I wake up I am not in a good mood.

Even when I wake up ok, I never feel thrilled about it.

 

[MTF]

Most days when I wake up I am not in a good mood.

Even when I wake up ok, I never feel thrilled about it.

Is it because you're not a morning person? Does it bother you?

 

[biophase]

Have you ever found any resources or talked with other people who are similar to you in that aspect that you're free to do whatever you want and you're wondering what to do?

It may be a first world problem but it's a rare problem so it's hard to find solutions. It's very hard for people to relate to that because if you're hustling toward that goal, you can't even imagine that once you reach it, you'll lose all drive in life.

Because objectively, you're an extremely intelligent and talented guy yet you choose to (no offense) spend your days putting up some random shelves in the laundry room. So you're doing pretty much the opposite thing of what most people recommend here: you spend your time on the least meaningful thing you can find.

Actually, I'm listening to alot of books about retirement. And there are a few podcasts that talk about what to do after you've reached your financial goals. I just listened to a podcast that talked about decumulation. The art of planning how to spend your money.

I find it funny how we categorize things. Like playing video games is bad or watching Netflix. This is usually accompanied by stop wasting your time and do something with your life, don’t sit at home and watch TV all day.

So what happens when you do do something with your life and you make enough money so you can watch TV all day? Are you still wasting time watching TV then?

What is considered an accomplishment? What if I learned to play guitar or became top 100 in ping pong last year? Is that “better” than if I watched and memorized every episode of Friends?

Basically it doesn’t matter what people think about what you do. All that matters is that you had the freedom to do it and you did.

What if you don't believe in the existence of a meaningful purpose? Or if your life was only about one purpose and once you reach it, you've served your purpose?

This is just you thinking too much. Just go do whatever you feel like doing. That is your purpose for that day.

It may be a problem of self-knowledge but I've never been able to figure it out. I did try to figure out my life's new general direction. Not sure if the following is going to help you but maybe it will...

For many years I was driven by my goal to build a house for my parents. Once I achieved that (and retired myself), it feels as if I served my purpose.

I used to believe that my next big goal would be to find a place somewhere tropical where I could buy a house. But the reality is that I can't be bothered to work more to make money to afford it. I also can't find any place that fits my requirements so it's a completely abstract goal as I don't even know where I would want to buy it. Perhaps if I knew a specific place, specific prices, etc. then I'd be more motivated to pursue it.

The thing is that I know that these bigger goals won't change anything in my life. I know there's nothing on the other side so why bother?

If you think too far ahead, you will come to the conclusion that you will eventually die, so what’s the point of doing anything then?

The point is to just live your life without some grand meaning.

I guess my question is: what's the point of living from one goal to another instead of having a goalless life? To me, people set goals purely because they want to keep themselves occupied because the alternative (reality) is too scary. Sort of like people believing in god(s).

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MTF]

Actually, I'm listening to alot of books about retirement. And there are a few podcasts that talk about what to do after you've reached your financial goals. I just listened to a podcast that talked about decumulation. The art of planning how to spend your money.

I find it funny how we categorize things. Like playing video games is bad or watching Netflix. This is usually accompanied by stop wasting your time and do something with your life, don’t sit at home and watch TV all day.

So what happens when you do do something with your life and you make enough money so you can watch TV all day? Are you still wasting time watching TV then?

What is considered an accomplishment? What if I learned to play guitar or became top 100 in ping pong last year? Is that “better” than if I watched and memorized every episode of Friends?

Basically it doesn’t matter what people think about what you do. All that matters is that you had the freedom to do it and you did.


This is just you thinking too much. Just go do whatever you feel like doing. That is your purpose for that day.

If you think too far ahead, you will come to the conclusion that you will eventually die, so what’s the point of doing anything then?

The point is to just live your life without some grand meaning.

Thank you for providing this perspective. That's one of my main conclusions from this thread so far.

Any specific podcasts/books you really recommend?

As for playing video games or watching Netflix - I'm definitely that guy who will tell you that you're wasting time playing video games. But the way you presented this argument makes sense.

I guess I associate playing video games with wasting time because it's so unproductive and you're not being outside and living the "real" life. But everyone has different standards. And ultimately me working out or sitting in the sun outside isn't productive, either.

 

[Timmy C]

Is it because you're not a morning person? Does it bother you?

It's because I'm not a morning person yeh.

It also depends on what I have to do that day, and the last month or two I have had a stressful schedule as I relocated.

I had many things due with strict deadlines in place ontop of that.

Even that being the case, I have never really been great at waking up.

Does it bother me? Yeh maybe a little, I just don't see a solution right now.

Once I'm up I am OK after a couple of hours.

Could my life be better? Sure, couldn't everyones?

Overall I am the happiest I have ever been, but it still doesn't mean I'm dancing on clouds everyday.

 

[biophase]

Thank you for providing this perspective. That's one of my main conclusions from this thread so far.

Any specific podcasts/books you really recommend?

As for playing video games or watching Netflix - I'm definitely that guy who will tell you that you're wasting time playing video games. But the way you presented this argument makes sense.

I guess I associate playing video games with wasting time because it's so unproductive and you're not being outside and living the "real" life. But everyone has different standards. And ultimately me working out or sitting in the sun outside isn't productive, either.

You may like this one.

Talking Recession tactics, Living Rich and Finances with The Financial Samurai — Noah Kagan Presents — Overcast

overcast.fm

The retirement books really haven’t been very good. They mainly talk about having a second purpose or hobby.

I just think it’s funny how we judge the value of tasks. I mean putting up shelves may be a low value task for me. Or maybe it’s a new learned skill. Or maybe it’s a break from being in front of a computer. Who’s to judge what actions are good for you?

What about an NBA player walking his dog for an hour when he could be practicing?

Pretty much everything you do can be low value when you quantify it with potential income. And that’s the problem, we are so used to judging everything by money standards that when we remove the money standards every task becomes either meaningless or meaningful.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MTF]

You may like this one.

Talking Recession tactics, Living Rich and Finances with The Financial Samurai — Noah Kagan Presents — Overcast

overcast.fm

The retirement books really haven’t been very good. They mainly talk about having a second purpose or hobby.

Thanks, that's great. I sometimes listen to Noah but haven't checked his new episodes in a while.

 

[Lex DeVille]

I wake up excited to watch this guy's videos. They always make me laugh.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

I just think that what I do is too obscure and that people doing stuff that's objectively of low-value (look at your average influencer) get more rewarded. So it makes no sense to invest so much effort to appeal to such a small number of people who do find value in what I do. Why write long, thoughtful articles and work on my newsletter if people posting 5-second social media videos get more engagement and all the money.

I think you are thinking about it a bit backwards. Stop selling writing, and start selling transformations. Writing may be one of the vehicles for delivering the transformation, but you should not stop there. Most of those marketers with 5-second social media videos, they are not selling those, but using those to generate traffic, for more expensive products, which deliver transformations that people want. If for every customer they make $5,000, and you make say $100, they will outcompete and oust you from the market, for the simple reason that they can pay more than you are even able to pay to acquire one customer.

To be able to outcompete your established competitors, you need to have a higher customer lifetime value than they do. For a startup, that's not really possible unless you go high-ticket. You simply don't have the infrastructure, manpower, and resources to support 100 different offers and products. So you need to do with 1-3 products, what others do with 30+. To achieve that, you need to go high-ticket. Think about Elon's strategy with Tesla. Build an expensive car, for the top-end of the market. Why? Because of high lifetime value (LTV), with one single product. They needed that, to be able to compete with the bigger guys with significantly more resources than they had. Suddenly they were able to pay $100K+ to acquire one customer. Then expand product range, and build LTV that way.

But the fundamental point is that you need to become passionate about delivering a transformation to people - doing whatever is best to deliver that transformation. Writing is just one of the vehicles - don't restrict yourself to just one vehicle. What is high-value to customers are transformations... customers are made, by effective marketing, to aspire to the transformation. And by effective selling to stop sitting on their bums and go for the transformation. But what's valuable is only the transformation.

Damn Gary was such a great writer. I never saw this ad but it's awesome (and also a bit sad at the same time).

If you ask me, it's the best lead generation ad I've ever read haha! It does exactly what lead generation should do, filter for the right audience. With my paid customers, we always talk about removing people who aren't a good fit as early in your interactions (or funnel if you prefer) as you can. You don't even want them following you. Most people would be like "Huh? How does it hurt? The more the better right?" -- but it's not like that. If you fill up your funnel with these low quality people, then you'll send an email to them, and suddenly your clickthrough rates are 0.1%, and open rates of 8-9%... They will never buy, many can't even afford it, so why are they there? They are just confusing your stats, and blocking you from being able to determine if your marketing is working or not. How do you know if your message resonates or not, if 90%+ of your list isn't a good fit for you? You can't even get feedback like that.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Lex DeVille]

I think you are thinking about it a bit backwards. Stop selling writing, and start selling transformations. Writing may be one of the vehicles for delivering the transformation, but you should not stop there. Most of those marketers with 5-second social media videos, they are not selling those, but using those to generate traffic, for more expensive products, which deliver transformations that people want. If for every customer they make $5,000, and you make say $100, they will outcompete and oust you from the market, for the simple reason that they can pay more than you are even able to pay to acquire one customer.

To be able to outcompete your established competitors, you need to have a higher customer lifetime value than they do. For a startup, that's not really possible unless you go high-ticket. You simply don't have the infrastructure, manpower, and resources to support 100 different offers and products. So you need to do with 1-3 products, what others do with 30+. To achieve that, you need to go high-ticket. Think about Elon's strategy with Tesla. Build an expensive car, for the top-end of the market. Why? Because of high lifetime value (LTV), with one single product. They needed that, to be able to compete with the bigger guys with significantly more resources than they had. Suddenly they were able to pay $100K+ to acquire one customer. Then expand product range, and build LTV that way.

But the fundamental point is that you need to become passionate about delivering a transformation to people - doing whatever is best to deliver that transformation. Writing is just one of the vehicles - don't restrict yourself to just one vehicle. What is high-value to customers are transformations... customers are made, by effective marketing, to aspire to the transformation. And by effective selling to stop sitting on their bums and go for the transformation. But what's valuable is only the transformation.


If you ask me, it's the best lead generation ad I've ever read haha! It does exactly what lead generation should do, filter for the right audience. With my paid customers, we always talk about removing people who aren't a good fit as early in your interactions (or funnel if you prefer) as you can. You don't even want them following you. Most people would be like "Huh? How does it hurt? The more the better right?" -- but it's not like that. If you fill up your funnel with these low quality people, then you'll send an email to them, and suddenly your clickthrough rates are 0.1%, and open rates of 8-9%... They will never buy, many can't even afford it, so why are they there? They are just confusing your stats, and blocking you from being able to determine if your marketing is working or not. How do you know if your message resonates or not, if 90%+ of your list isn't a good fit for you? You can't even get feedback like that.

Half the shit you say pisses me off. The other half makes it worth the anger of reading the first half.

 

[MTF]

My conclusions from this thread so far:

1. Life is meaningless but it's what you have. Do whatever you want. Don't try to find some deep purpose in it because there's none.

Some people think that life has meaning and some people think that it doesn't. Since I can't fool myself that life has meaning (just look at all the living beings in the world and then look at the number of galaxies and the vastness of the universe), I most relate to @Trevor Kuntz's post and view on things.

In accepting that life has no meaning perhaps I can actually find humor in all this and see that seeking purpose is some funny a$$ shit I'm foolish to chase. It doesn't mean resignation, though. It just means seeing the world as absurd in a good way.

2. The drive to be remembered or do something long-lasting and meaningful is foolish.

Time destroys everything much sooner than we think. Besides, if you cease to exist after your death, there's no point worrying about your "legacy" or purpose while you're alive.

IMO even people who think they leave something behind them because they have kids are mistaken. Your child may die before having children. Your child may decide not to have children. Shortly after you die, your entire "legacy" might end as well. But you won't know it anyway so who cares.

Feel free to have legacy projects or feel free to not give a F*ck. Either way it makes no difference—and that is neither a positive or a negative thing. It just is.

3. You don't need to wake up REALLY excited. Being content is fine.

I got up at 6:30 am today and decided to go on a bike ride. I wasn't ECSTATIC but I was content. I had the luxury of waking up early, healthy, and with sun in the sky and go on a bike ride in the forest.

I was content and that was good enough. It had no purpose and no meaning other than experiencing life. I don't need to be exhilarated or jumping up and down like a cheesy motivational speaker if that's not my wiring.

Maybe @Andy Black won't agree with me but I think that since I'm more of an even-keeled guy I can simply embrace that stability and quiet peace of mind (over shouting from the rooftops how EXCITED and HAPPY I am oh my gosh!)

4. You may not see any meaning in life but you can still serve if that makes you feel good.

Planting a single tree doesn't change anything. It may be dead within a year. It may be cut down by an idiot. It may be snapped in half during a thunderstorm. But it may also have a long life. It may be cool to look at it while it grows, knowing that you helped it get there. It may help start a forest even if that forest will be gone in 500 years to make space for another McDonalds (you can't control it so why care?)

Picking up trash in the wilderness has no meaning. For every piece of trash you'll collect there'll be some F*cker who'll litter again. But if it makes you feel good and temporarily makes the environment a little more pleasant, why not do it?

Heck, you may not even see any meaning in helping your friend install some new bullshit lights on the terrace but if that makes them feel good and serving them makes you feel good, why not?

Nothing matters so who cares. Do whatever you want.

5. Remind yourself of your insignificance often.

As with other conclusions, not everyone will agree with that and that's fine. It's my personal conclusion.

Why does reminding yourself of your insignificance help? Because this way you won't feel dissatisfied that you aren't better than everyone (hence, you'll feel okay being mediocre if that's all you can personally reach, for example when starting late in sports). You'll also stop worrying so much about having an impact because the truth is that your impact, no matter how big you are, will still be insignificant given a long enough timeline. Even the most "world-changing" people of today will be all largely forgotten within a century or two (and that's laughably short).

I find nature the best tool to remind me of my insignificance and also gain some peace when it comes to the cycle of life.

One of the reasons why I find nature so therapeutic is because in nature everything is insignificant. You're nothing against the power of the ocean. You're nothing against severe weather. You're nothing against wild predators. You're but one creature among millions more living everywhere around you. Humans may be more inventive but they're still a part of the same cycle.

Also, when you spend time in nature, there's no purpose to it other than the experience and/or survival (depending on the circumstances). There's no point to surfing. It just feels good. There's no point in going on a long hike, either, except the experience of it. And that's a good thing as each time you do that, you can remember your existence is the same thing. Just a tiny nothing in the vastness of the universe.

---

Yeah, it's nihilistic but I think it's nihilistic in an empowering way.

 

[MTF]

But the fundamental point is that you need to become passionate about delivering a transformation to people - doing whatever is best to deliver that transformation. Writing is just one of the vehicles - don't restrict yourself to just one vehicle. What is high-value to customers are transformations... customers are made, by effective marketing, to aspire to the transformation. And by effective selling to stop sitting on their bums and go for the transformation. But what's valuable is only the transformation.

That sounds like coaching as I see no other direct means to transforming other people (in B2C) than selling education (written, video or whatever) or coaching. And I don't want to sell my time for money through coaching (apart from being a terrible coach and a person to emulate) so I guess it's not for me.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Black_Dragon43]

That sounds like coaching as I see no other direct means to transforming other people (in B2C) than selling education (written, video or whatever) or coaching. And I don't want to sell my time for money through coaching (apart from being a terrible coach and a person to emulate) so I guess it's not for me.

Imagine that you have just one piece of a puzzle of 100 pieces. You may say there's no way for you to help someone achieve the transformation of going from incomplete puzzle to complete puzzle with just 1 piece right? I mean, they need 100!

But now change your targeting. What if your targeting is just the people who have 99 pieces already, and just need the one you've got? Everyone else, isn't a good fit for you, and you're not competing for them.

The transformation you deliver is a function of your niche, the problem you're solving, and your offer - how you're solving it. You've got to build the components together... I call it the NPOT Model - N = Niche, P = Problem, O = Offer, T = Transformation.

You can't build or think about a Transformation fully before you've got clarity about the Niche, their Problem, how you can Help (the offer).

 

[Andy Black]

Maybe @Andy Black won't agree with me but I think that since I'm more of an even-keeled guy I can simply embrace that stability and quiet peace of mind (over shouting from the rooftops how EXCITED and HAPPY I am oh my gosh!)

Lol. I’m even-keeled, happy with my own company, and super content. I take pleasure in sitting in my garden with a nice cup of tea when everyone’s gone to bed. I drift into the background when a group of people are chattering. I use “Gosh” because I’d rather not swear online, because it throws people, and to wake people the f*ck up.