Divergence in Long Lasting Friendships - Is it okay to move away from old friends?

[Rangermac2]

Hello, I wanted to start off saying I appreciate the help in previous discussions within making decisions where I have been able to communicate the facts and feelings of various situations and the action I have to take.

Back when I was in middle school, I met 5 other boys my age and we became good friends. We all grew a close bond from playing video games and the classes we all had together, along with the sports we all played and hanging out frequently. There of course was conflict that would come up but like any relationship, it was resolved. Within 2022, one of my friends moved away back to his state in New England which began shifting our friendships. It was very balanced where me and the friend that moved seemed to be more on the logical side of things, one of my friends would be the equivocator typically siding with us and the 3 others typically are disorganized and more wild. Since he has moved we've all gotten a little bit more wild where there have been instances where they have skipped class (I didn't have classes during that time due to some college classes I take) and they progressively have gotten in worse trouble which can greatly affect their futures (Alcohol, Vaping, and worse).

I am tired of associating with them as they have no aspirations and tear mine down. They put their futures at risk for gratification and pleasure. I have some classes with them so I can't fully dissociate with them until graduation. I look forward to making new friendships and contacts with people at Real-estate school which I plan to go to in early summer and with new friends at the University I have just been accepted into. I look forward to also making a mastermind group with people that I could look to, not as friends but people to work and advise with on business endeavors in the future.

I enjoy going out with some of my other friends and going out with girls I meet so its not that I am anti-social as I do love to engage with people outside of my house, and go out frequently but I'd rather not go out with these old friends because they act very indecently when we are out.

I want out of the group and want to move on to my future endeavors. Is it okay to leave these old friends if it means I will get to progress and meet people who will aid in my progress and goals?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Andy Black]

Hello, I wanted to start off saying I appreciate the help in previous discussions within making decisions where I have been able to communicate the facts and feelings of various situations and the action I have to take.

Back when I was in middle school, I met 5 other boys my age and we became good friends. We all grew a close bond from playing video games and the classes we all had together, along with the sports we all played and hanging out frequently. There of course was conflict that would come up but like any relationship, it was resolved. Within 2022, one of my friends moved away back to his state in New England which began shifting our friendships. It was very balanced where me and the friend that moved seemed to be more on the logical side of things, one of my friends would be the equivocator typically siding with us and the 3 others typically are disorganized and more wild. Since he has moved we've all gotten a little bit more wild where there have been instances where they have skipped class (I didn't have classes during that time due to some college classes I take) and they progressively have gotten in worse trouble which can greatly affect their futures (Alcohol, Vaping, and worse).

I am tired of associating with them as they have no aspirations and tear mine down. They put their futures at risk for gratification and pleasure. I have some classes with them so I can't fully dissociate with them until graduation. I look forward to making new friendships and contacts with people at Real-estate school which I plan to go to in early summer and with new friends at the University I have just been accepted into. I look forward to also making a mastermind group with people that I could look to, not as friends but people to work and advise with on business endeavors in the future.

I enjoy going out with some of my other friends and going out with girls I meet so its not that I am anti-social as I do love to engage with people outside of my house, and go out frequently but I'd rather not go out with these old friends because they act very indecently when we are out.

I want out of the group and want to move on to my future endeavors. Is it okay to leave these old friends if it means I will get to progress and meet people who will aid in my progress and goals?

Yes.

1) Everyone changes over time and can grow apart.

2) We naturally become more selective with who we spend our time with as we get older and have more demands on our time.

3) You're the combination of your values and beliefs. If you're young these may have not formed. Be careful who's you take on.

 

[Rangermac2]

Yes.

1) Everyone changes over time and can grow apart.

2) We naturally become more selective with who we spend our time with as we get older and have more demands on our time.

3) You're the combination of your values and beliefs. If you're young these may have not formed. Be careful who's you take on.

I agree, I'm starting out and wanting a good foundation and I don't want my values and beliefs to be negatively impacted. I appreciate your response. One course of action for me would be to limit hanging out with them in public and only hanging out with them at school till I graduate.

 

[Andy Black]

I agree, I'm starting out and wanting a good foundation and I don't want my values and beliefs to be negatively impacted. I appreciate your response. One course of action for me would be to limit hanging out with them in public and only hanging out with them at school till I graduate.

I think I hung out with the wrong crowd at college and it took me years to allow myself to be my true self. I deliberately lost contact with them all many years ago.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

I am tired of associating with them as they have no aspirations and tear mine down. They put their futures at risk for gratification and pleasure.

I think you answered your question here.

 

[BigRomeDawg]

At 22 I ghosted and moved far away.

It's awesome to have a blank-slate to fill purposefully with relationships that support your current goals.

Not that my circle was a bunch of bad people, far from it.

But it's so much easier to grow a business when all your friends are doing it, too.

 

[Rangermac2]

I think I hung out with the wrong crowd at college and it took me years to allow myself to be my true self. I deliberately lost contact with them all many years ago.

That's how I feel too, that I can't express my ideas with them and be my true self as you said

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Rangermac2]

I think you answered your question here.

I agree, thanks for the response

 

[Rangermac2]

At 22 I ghosted and moved far away.

It's awesome to have a blank-slate to fill purposefully with relationships that support your current goals.

Not that my circle was a bunch of bad people, far from it.

But it's so much easier to grow a business when all your friends are doing it, too.

I look forward to that liberty of moving forward like how you did and associate with beneficially like minded people. Thank you for your response

 

[Rangermac2]

I agree, thank you for responding

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Albert KOUADJA]

Hello, I wanted to start off saying I appreciate the help in previous discussions within making decisions where I have been able to communicate the facts and feelings of various situations and the action I have to take.

Back when I was in middle school, I met 5 other boys my age and we became good friends. We all grew a close bond from playing video games and the classes we all had together, along with the sports we all played and hanging out frequently. There of course was conflict that would come up but like any relationship, it was resolved. Within 2022, one of my friends moved away back to his state in New England which began shifting our friendships. It was very balanced where me and the friend that moved seemed to be more on the logical side of things, one of my friends would be the equivocator typically siding with us and the 3 others typically are disorganized and more wild. Since he has moved we've all gotten a little bit more wild where there have been instances where they have skipped class (I didn't have classes during that time due to some college classes I take) and they progressively have gotten in worse trouble which can greatly affect their futures (Alcohol, Vaping, and worse).

I am tired of associating with them as they have no aspirations and tear mine down. They put their futures at risk for gratification and pleasure. I have some classes with them so I can't fully dissociate with them until graduation. I look forward to making new friendships and contacts with people at Real-estate school which I plan to go to in early summer and with new friends at the University I have just been accepted into. I look forward to also making a mastermind group with people that I could look to, not as friends but people to work and advise with on business endeavors in the future.

I enjoy going out with some of my other friends and going out with girls I meet so its not that I am anti-social as I do love to engage with people outside of my house, and go out frequently but I'd rather not go out with these old friends because they act very indecently when we are out.

I want out of the group and want to move on to my future endeavors. Is it okay to leave these old friends if it means I will get to progress and meet people who will aid in my progress and goals?

Yes, you must out if this.

You really have to select your friends and know who you spend the most time with.

When I was in college (village), I did not yet know these notions of behavioral influence between human beings. I made friends who had no aspiration to become more better. I frequented the drunkards, the jokers...but as a person, i wouldn't say i'm smarter but as a person who does well in his exams at school, i should hang out with some people (first or middle from other grades) who have the same level as meit's because I'm hard to influence otherwise I wouldn't be who I am now. A person who does not drink, who does not smoke, and who still has plans for the future. I might be drunk, a useless comedian in the village, or already married with no plans for the future.
I was able to resist and continue to resist the temptations that lead to darkness.

I managed to tell the booze every time an alcoholic friend wanted me to drink. And even so far, I'm firm on that (drinking). these friends know me well on this point from what they have tried in vain.

As for the comedian friends I dated, I managed to unconsciously copy some of their mannerisms. I had an actor friend. He made contradictory jokes to make people laugh. and he did it well with a good tone. I think that's why I sometimes crack jokes if I get the chance.

I had another group of friends (we were three). This group is the best because we were doing something better outside of our useless amusements. all we did on vacation was watch movies in video clubs at night. In the village, no TV at home, you have to go to a cinema club to be able to watch TV. And in the daytime all we did was practice the actions seen in those movies. that's what made me love sports.

As for studies, I manage to study on my own once I get back home. I learned at night, and people marveled at the fact that I was always brilliant in class while during the day I walked around with crazy people.

But I had to read friendships to overcome my shyness, not to let my introverted side dominate me. .as someone who was often at the top of his class, i shouldn't make those kinds of friendships when i look back. i think if one of my uncles hadn't brought me to town after my B.E.P.C. I wouldn't hold a series C science baccalaureate today. But these are only lessons when I think back to those times.
This is what often happens in the village, most of the children are left to themselves (no parental supervision). You educate yourself.



Now that I know the effect of the influence of the people we hang out with the most, I strictly select my friendships.