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How to help Old Friends?

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

OVOvince

Bronze Contributor
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Oct 18, 2014
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I will offer some honest words.

Don't use up your empathy on things that could otherwise be ignored.

Have you heard of the author Dr. HAHA Lung?

Check him out. Seriously.

Go to Barnes and Noble.

Grab a copy of Dr. HAHA Lung.

Develop your Mind-Sword.

Learn the Dr. HAHA Lung parable of "the last can of beans."

It goes like this (understand, I am typing from memory, so I am not exactly quoting from the book. Dr. HAHA Lung's ultimate purpose of the story is contained in bold...)...

Heh-heh-heh.

The Last Can of Beans

It is the end of the world.

Or, rather... the end as we now know it.

All-out chaos has broken loose.

A new species has evolved, and has taken over the planet.

Many humans are dead.

You and your family are hiding in a bunker beneath the surface. Although many humans have died, the smart ones, the capable ones, the ones who can think on their feet...

These guys and girls survive by occasionally going to the surface, and fending for the rest down in the bunker. Not all those in the bunker have the capability to survive on their own.

However, the smartest - and, in some cases, the fastest and the strongest - went to the surface, to fend for themselves.

These humans could interact with the New Species. In fact, the longer they did so, the longer they spent away from the inept humans beneath the surface... the more powerful they became.

Some of the surface survivable humans began to reason thusly: If we spend more time away from those beneath, the powerful we become. Logically, the conclusion is: You can help your friends, those who just can't keep up with you, better by being more powerful.

Dr. HAHA Lung puts it like this:

You're hiding underground. There is one can of beans left. Who do you give the can of beans to. Your wife? You son? Your little girl?

No.

You eat that can of beans yourself, and you go get more cans of beans.

How will you ever learn to fly if you have all that dead weight holding you down.

Love people from a distance.

Focus on money.


Makes a lot of sense. Thanks
 
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Bertram

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Oct 25, 2015
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Bumping vintage wisdom today.
My fastlane journey started in June.
My understanding is ascending a much steeper learning curve than my income. So far I keep the overall plan out of conversations with slowlaners. Some people really love their slowlane. They are loyal to love sidewalkers because they can make proud comparisons and peform rescues. Fastlaners are basically not on their radar.

I think it's a natural change, given that the slowlaners hold one another back.
As weeks go by I'm beginning to get new radar signals from fastlaners I didn't think about very much before now. One is a new acquaintance who went from zero to 11 million in six years. Another is my neighbor actually right across the street who solo owns a massive recreational business. Another is a roughneck who owns trailer parks and does house flips.
You only get what you ask for.
I think I already know who in my past and recent social circle would not deal well with generosity or a big boost. The ones who would not deal well are college friends. The high school fastlaners seem to be newly interested so maybe there really is a vibe we send out.
 

Schonox

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May 25, 2019
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I have some old friends that saw my success in real estate. They wanted to be part of it. I partnered with a couple of them on a few deals years ago.

On one deal we made an arrangement that we would all purchase and refurbish three properties (21 units) together. I put the deal together with absolutely no help from the other three. I then proceeded to make plans for the rehab which required an approval from the city. Again with no help.

After 5 trips to the city (a four hour drive for me) I was able to get the rehab plan started. I tried to divide up the responsibilities amongst the partners to get things done. When things did not move along, I took control of the entire project again. They did come up and help with pieces of the rehab but I did the brunt of the work.

When it was all completed, I worked with the agent to get the building sold. I also managed the property during the entire process for free because no one else was willing to do so.

When it was done, everyone made about 150% return on their money in less than a year. I heard many gripes about how we could/should have made more money but not a single "thanks". They wanted to know what deal we were going to do next. I suggested someone else for them to go to as I would no longer be taking on partners.

One of the partners took my advice and invested with the other group. He bailed out of that investment early and lost money as a result. He wanted me to give him the money that he lost.

I was no longer friends with any of that group after that.

So recognisable!

Think twice who you partner with... Who you want to help. Chances are people will leave you in a ditch and kick you while they're at it.
 

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