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When I was young, I stayed with my grandparents a lot. They lived in a rural village, where there wasn't much to do. But it wasn't isolated from the modernized world.<br />
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Back then, we had what were essentially private Ubers. But without the technology and apps.<br />
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So every weekend we'd hitch a ride, on one of these, 15 min into town. The main reason being grocery shopping.<br />
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However, before we got to any of that, we'd always go somewhere new. A public museum. A concert in the park. An arcade at the food court.<br />
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At the surface it seems its just them being grandparents. Taking me to have some fun.<br />
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Until we went into an industrial expo. Gadgets and technology, but for manufacturing. Trains, excavators, etc.<br />
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Perhaps it was from my grandfather's background as a track engineer. But I became really excited. Putting my hands on everything. Including what I can only describe as steel grade legos. Which I quickly built into a working prototype of what they had on display. All without instructions or reason.<br />
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Fast forward the next few years, and these type of events now made up the majority of our adventures. Leading me into comp-sci and engineering. And today I program for companies as my main business.<br />
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You see, to their brilliance, they didn't know what I wanted. And what kid does?<br />
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So they exposed me to everything under the sun. Until something finally stuck.<br />
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But that wasn't enough to lead to a fast-lane life.<br />
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I knew I wanted to do my own thing, without constraints or worry. I knew it would involve some sort of computer work. Programming, analysis, etc.<br />
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So how do I get there? What are my options? What are other people doing? What if I choose wrong and how much time could I waste?<br />
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All questions leading to analysis paralysis. I wasn't stagnating. Life was moving along just fine. But reaching fast-lane land was slowly fleeting.<br />
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Should I start the process again, like my grandparents, of going to every venue and see what sticks? That's definitely an option. However, that relies too much on luck. While luck can be a large part of success. It can't be the primary driving force. Otherwise, we'd all just play the lottery.<br />
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Or should I take a step back an analyze the market. I already knew people were going to pay me to program.<br />
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But the million dollar question was, who do I want to work for? <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/13831/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="13831" data-username="@SinisterLex">@SinisterLex</a> mentioned this in his UpWork thread. You're the one choosing who you want to work with. You're the one choosing who you accept jobs from. And you do this by not only analyzing their needs, but how they treat you. How they react to your suggestions. How they engage in a conversation.<br />
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You see, you're 90% of the way there.<br />
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You know your market value.<br />
You know the destination.<br />
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But you don't know the details in between.<br />
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If you had asked me 5 years ago, who do I want as a partner. I'd have given you a list of both physical and personality traits I'd enjoy being around.<br />
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(Notice how that statement applies to, a business partner, a client, and a lover. The way a person treats their body and the way they walk tells you 80% of their story.)<br />
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So I defined what kinds of clients I want to work with, and I've built a very comfortable business over the past 11 years doing so.<br />
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I defined what kind of loving partner I want to be with. And I've been with the same girl for the past 4 years.<br />
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The feeling I'm getting from this thread, is what you can offer to others.<br />
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You already know the answer.<br />
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But from the information you've given here, it seems you don't know who you want as your partner.<br />
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Goal setting doesn't just have to be for career and family life. It can be about individual people as well.
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What a great post! I really enjoyed reading that and this is exactly the conversation I was hoping to start. In terms of what I want from a partner - this is what that Law of Attraction coach did with me - I had to do an exercise every day for 49 days. At the end of it (or the penultimate exercise) you had to write a list of qualities you wanted in your partner (non-negotiable ones) so I wrote down: strong, kind, loving, generous, protective, honest, loyal, faithful and handsome. She told me off for not writing things like how much he earned, what he looked like in detail. I said I was relaxed about those things because I had grown up realising it was the qualities of the person that mattered the most (physical attraction is obviously important (see above) but looks will fade)...I've also hopefully focused on not just finding the right partner but focused equally on *becoming* the right partner. Don't really know what else to do from here on in :-(</div>
