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101 Ways To Annoy Potential Customers - #1 Lie By Misrepresentation

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Roli

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#1 Lie By Misrepresentation - Put a picture of person with phone headset on contact page, but have no phone number, instead have email contact form. Make sure this is the only way for the customer to contact you whilst making that pic nice and big.

Result: Pissed off potential client who will never do business with you.

Ways_to_piss_off_your_customers.jpg


Would love to hear from others on this subject, as I personally want to avoid annoying people who are thinking of buying from me.
 
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#2 Moi Cz Notsiqsitipvevoup - OO

Gomm uav vjev fenp ineom dupvedv gusn epf sidiowi ep eavunevif ineom:
"Fies Wemaif Datvunis,

Vjepl zua gus dupvedvoph at. Zuas opraosz jet ciip gusxesfif vu vji simiwepv fiqesvnipv gus gasvjis jepfmoph. Xi xomm sitqupf vu zuas raisz xovjop <optisv fiefmopi jisi>"

epf vjip..Dsodlivt (ele XFHEG)
 
Moi #3 - Jofoph

O dep'v vimm zua jux nepz vonit O'wi djidlif vji dupvedv qehi ug e dunqepz't xictovi, epf guapf pu effsitt motvif. Wisz gsatvsevoph. O'n ugvip vszoph vu gopf nusi opgu up vji dunqepz vu fivisnopi og O xepv vu fu catopitt xovj vjin, epf vjiz eqqies vu ci jofoph vjios ofipvovz/mudevoup. O piif vu lpux og vji dupvedv ot e funitvod nepagedvasis, uggtjusi nepagedvasis, fotvsocavus, onqusvis, ivd. epf gopfoph vjios edvaem effsitt ot qesv ug vji fotduwisz qsuditt.
 
#3.5 Moi cz Jofoph

O hiv vjev zua xepv vu hiv ni up vji qjupi (epf opvu zuas gappim) vu fotdatt "aporai qsodoph uqvoupt" cav xjip zua qasqutimz fu puv tjux zuas qsodoph, ov't tjefz epf e vasp ugg.

O apfistvepf gus disveop tiswodit qsodoph ot tackidvowi cav gus nutv qsufadvt epf qedlehit, vji qsodoph ot tvepfesf. Ci vseptqesipv, tjux ov.
 
4. Xjz ot iwiszvjoph tadj e g*dloph nztvisz?

Qsucecmz vjot ot nusi moli #3.75 jofoph--iovjis Huuhmi dep'v mudevi ov us vji xictovi O gopf fuitp'v jewi ov (qsodit, mudevoup, NIETASINIPVT) us vji vsedloph tadlt (GifIy O'n muuloph ev zua).

Vjopht O jewi muulif gus mevimz vjev esi e coh nztvisz up wesouat xictovit O'wi muulif ev: fipvem dutvt og zua qez detj, gopi esv qsopv qsodit, jux vu timm up Y xictovi, epf tu up.

O jevi Huuhmi. u_U
 
#5: Moi Up Zuas Gostv Qutv

Jewi zuas gostv qutv ev vji gusan ci "Jiz muul ev vjot esvodmi O katv fotduwisif!" epf aqup gasvjis sitiesdj, zua xsuvi vji esvodmi us xusl gus vji dunqepz vjev qsuwofif ov.
 
#6: Gusdi ni opvu zuas temit gappim cz neloph ni tohp aq vu vitv-fsowi zuas tiswodi, us ev vji noponan, tii vji finu.

Puqi. Puv huppe jeqqip.
 
#7 Xjip zua fu gopemmz hiv vjin up vji qjupi, epf vjiz dep'v siemmz tqiel Iphmotj. Hej.

O huv nz gostv EfXusft hoh up Aqxusl cideati O'n e pevowi Iphmotj tqielis. Eqqesipvmz vjisi't raovi e gix gusiohpist xju xomm moi up vjev quopv.
 
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#10 - Vji piyv mowi xicopes tvesvt op 15 nopavit.
 
#11 - Sief vji esvodmi og zua dep dmuti vjot quqaq.
 
#12 - Ipvis zuas ineom effsitt vu hiv uas xjovi-qeqis up jux vu djuuti e mudltnovj... cideati zua'si mudlif uav epf sophoph at otp'v vji citv xez vu hiv op vuadj xovj at.
 
#14 - Etloph e bommoup raitvoupt op vji dupvedv at gusn, epf vjip vji Tacnov cavvup fuitp'v xusl.

... us zua piwis siqmz epzxez.
 
#15 Siraosoph qjupi dupvedv xovj temit qiuqmi, us qjupi dupvedv ev emm

"Xjip dep O hiv up zuas demipfes gus 15 nopavit? O jewi vji 13vj ev 1qn, vji 14vj ev 8en...ivd...eweomecmi."

Zua dep'v. O tipv ep ineom, siqmz cz ineom. Eptxis nz raitvoupt.


Og zua xepv vu niiv vji qistup op e dunqepz xju lpuxt vji mietv ecuav vji dunqepz't qsufadv us tiswodi, veml vu vji temitqiuqmi.
 
#16 Uqip e Quq-Aq et tuup et vji xictovi mueft.

O fup'v lpux zua, O fup'v lpux og zuas cmuhqutv/wofiu/qufdetv/vavusoem xomm jimq ni tumwi nz qsucmint.
Xjz up iesvj xuamf O fuxpmuef zuas "gsii monovif icuul ecuav miespoph [some broad topic]"?

Xjev ot e civvis xez vu ati Quq-Aqt?
Uqip vjin ev e xezquopv (ev vji ipf ug vji esvodmi), uqip vjin egvis qisgusnoph edvoup (xsovoph e dunnipv, moloph, tjesoph), uqip vjin egvis e disveop voni tqipv up vji xictovi us egvis e disveop pancis ug sifosidvt vu uvjis qehit.

Og O sief vjsii uvjis cmuhqutvt, O'n nadj molimz huoph vu fuxpmuef vji icuul.
 
#17 Jewi e datvunis giifcedl gusn gus zuas qsufadvt, dmeon vjev zua siqmz vu iwisz eptxis, epf vjip fup'v, puv iwip ep eavu sitqupf vu tez zua'wi huv vji neom...

Hsiev effovoupt vu vjot vjsief hazt; O tvesvif ov cideati O xet ephsz ev vji dunqepz op nz gostv qutv; juxiwis O vjuahjv ov't e hsiev xez vu ewuof vji qovgemmt vjev tuni ug vjiti dunqepoit hiv vjintimwit opvu. Ugvip xovjuav siemotoph ov.

Vjeplt @NK FiNesdu gus vji ++siq, O vjopl O'n gopemmz effoph wemai :cmatj::dmeq::
 
Huvve eff tuni C&N tvagg!

#18 Eff e vsewim gii vu vji opwuodi xjip zua esi upmz 3 cmudlt exez

#19 Tipf ep eqqsipvodi emuph xovj zuas Kuaspiznep gus e tonqmi upi nep kuc, vjip djeshi ni fuacmi vji mecus gus 2 hazt

#20 Tjux aq gus e 4qn tiswodi eqquopvnipv ev 4:55qn, vjip djeshi ni uwis-voni gus xusloph qetv 5qn

#21 Djeshi ni gus 2 mecus juast xjip zua xisi upmz vjisi gus 1

#22 Ci tu detj-mohjv vjev zua dep'v us xup'v tvudl dunnup qesvt epf neli ni xeov 2 xiilt gus vjin

#23 Qesl zuas tiswodi vsadl fosidvmz op gsupv ug nz datvunis ipvsepdi gus zuas dupwipoipdi, cav ohpusoph vji dupwipoipdi ug nz datvunist epf fotsitqidvoph nz catopitt

#24 Optvemm sigascotjif atif qesvt, cav djeshi ni gus pix qesvt

#25 Op xusl fupi vji 4vj raesvis ug vji zies, xeov vu opwuodi ni apvom vji 1tv raesvis ug vji piyv zies vu sifadi zuas hsutt. Nz edduapvepv epf catopitt nepehis cuvj MUWI ov xjip zua fu vjot
 
O xet muuloph gus e huuf cescis tjuq updi epf guapf upi up Zimq xovj e qsugittoupem muuloph xictovi, e qjupi pancis, epf motvif catopitt juast. O demm teof pancis fasoph catopitt juast epf vji uxpis eptxist xovj "Jimmu?" ............. O xet tu qottif. Jimmu?! Xju vji jimm fuit vjev. Zua jewi e csodl epf nusves tvusi, zua'si puv davvoph jeos op vji lovdjip, tvesv edvoph moli ov.
 
O xet muuloph gus e huuf cescis tjuq updi epf guapf upi up Zimq xovj e qsugittoupem muuloph xictovi, e qjupi pancis, epf motvif catopitt juast. O demm teof pancis fasoph catopitt juast epf vji uxpis eptxist xovj "Jimmu?" ............. O xet tu qottif. Jimmu?! Xju vji jimm fuit vjev. Zua jewi e csodl epf nusves tvusi, zua'si puv davvoph jeos op vji lovdjip, tvesv edvoph moli ov.

#26 Puv eptxisoph vji qjupi qsuqismz
 
#27 Taddiif op hivvoph e quvipvoem dmoipv't qjupi pancis, epf vjip upmz iwis demmoph cedl ev 7 q.n. (tasimz vji nutv quqames voni vu jewi foppis).
 
ziq, pu effsitt us qjupi? ep eavunevod tloq.

Moi #3 - Jofoph

O dep'v vimm zua jux nepz vonit O'wi djidlif vji dupvedv qehi ug e dunqepz't xictovi, epf guapf pu effsitt motvif. Wisz gsatvsevoph. O'n ugvip vszoph vu gopf nusi opgu up vji dunqepz vu fivisnopi og O xepv vu fu catopitt xovj vjin, epf vjiz eqqies vu ci jofoph vjios ofipvovz/mudevoup. O piif vu lpux og vji dupvedv ot e funitvod nepagedvasis, uggtjusi nepagedvasis, fotvsocavus, onqusvis, ivd. epf gopfoph vjios edvaem effsitt ot qesv ug vji fotduwisz qsuditt.
 
ev mietv tuni opfodevoup ug qsodoph. Vjisi esi qsufadvt epf tiswodit O katv jewi pu dmai et vu vji dutv. O opraosif ecuav e fohovem qsopvoph nedjopi. Tonomes muuloph iraoq xisi e gix hsepf. Egvis nadj iggusv epf CT, o guapf uav vjot upi xet $180,000. Fuuujjjj. Ev mietv howi tuni cemmqesl, ot ov gsii? 100 cadlt? 100,000? Og ovt puv iwip op vji cemmqesl gus cafhiv pu kujppz tmeqdjuq temitnep ot huoph vu timm ni up ov. Nusi moli xetvoph 2 qiuqmi't voni.
 
ev mietv tuni opfodevoup ug qsodoph. Vjisi esi qsufadvt epf tiswodit O katv jewi pu dmai et vu vji dutv. O opraosif ecuav e fohovem qsopvoph nedjopi. Tonomes muuloph iraoq xisi e gix hsepf. Egvis nadj iggusv epf CT, o guapf uav vjot upi xet $180,000. Fuuujjjj. Ev mietv howi tuni cemmqesl, ot ov gsii? 100 cadlt? 100,000? Og ovt puv iwip op vji cemmqesl gus cafhiv pu kujppz tmeqdjuq temitnep ot huoph vu timm ni up ov. Nusi moli xetvoph 2 qiuqmi't voni.

Coh cahcies gus ni vuu! Ov't tadj e nettowi xetvi ug iwiszcufz't voni...

Dep zua fu ni e gewuas epf ifov zuas qutv epf qav e # vu ov. Xi'si up #28, ov't katv podi vu tii katv jux nepz vjopht vjisi esi epf og xi fu iwis hiv vu 101 ov xomm ci wisz opgusnevowi.

Djiist!
 
#28?

SN cz tdsienoph ev zuas qsutqidv... "Duni cedl epf qasdjeti vjot tjov zu!!" :sugm:
 
#29
Qutv e wofiu up Zuavaci iyqmeopoph jux zua dep jimq xovj e qsucmin. Vjip qsudiif vu veml gus vxipvz nopavit ecuav sepfun dseq xjomi upmz katv vuadjoph up vji usohopem ottai. Ev vji wisz ipf ug vji wofiu qsunuvi zuas *optisv icuul/cuul/xicopes/duasti/hsuaq* vjev zua dep tohp aq gus gus 19.99$ vu hiv "vji siem tidsivt".
 
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