101 Ways To Annoy Potential Customers - #1 Lie By Misrepresentation

[Roli]

#1 Lie By Misrepresentation - Put a picture of person with phone headset on contact page, but have no phone number, instead have email contact form. Make sure this is the only way for the customer to contact you whilst making that pic nice and big.

Result: Pissed off potential client who will never do business with you.

Would love to hear from others on this subject, as I personally want to avoid annoying people who are thinking of buying from me.

 

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[Tedd]

#2 Lie By Misrepresentation - II

Fill out that damn email contact form and receive an automated email:
"Dear Valued Customer,

Thank you for contacting us. Your inquiry has been forwarded to the relevant department for further handling. We will respond to your query within <insert deadline here>"

and then..Crickets (aka WDGAF)

 

[OldFaithful]

Lie #3 - Hiding

I can't tell you how many times I've checked the contact page of a company's website, and found no address listed. Very frustrating. I'm often trying to find more info on the company to determine if I want to do business with them, and they appear to be hiding their identity/location. I need to know if the contact is a domestic manufacturer, offshore manufacturer, distributor, importer, etc. and finding their actual address is part of the discovery process.

 

[Scot]

#3.5 Lie by Hiding

I get that you want to get me on the phone (and into your funnel) to discuss "unique pricing options" but when you purposely do not show your pricing, it's shady and a turn off.

I understand for certain services pricing is subjective but for most products and packages, the pricing is standard. Be transparent, show it.

 

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[rollerskates]

4. Why is everything such a f*cking mystery?

Probably this is more like #3.75 hiding--either Google can't locate it or the website I find doesn't have it (prices, location, MEASUREMENTS) or the tracking sucks (FedEx I'm looking at you).

Things I have looked for lately that are a big mystery on various websites I've looked at: dental costs if you pay cash, fine art print prices, how to sell on X website, and so on.

I hate Google.

 

[OldFaithful]

#4 Automated phone answering services! Need I say more?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

#5: Lie On Your First Post

Have your first post at the forum be "Hey look at this article I just discovered!" and upon further research, you wrote the article or work for the company that provided it.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

#6: Force me into your sales funnel by making me sign up to test-drive your service, or at the minimum, see the demo.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

#7 When you do finally get them on the phone, and they can't really speak English. Gah.

 

[lowtek]

#7 When you do finally get them on the phone, and they can't really speak English. Gah.

I got my first AdWords gig on Upwork because I'm a native English speaker. Apparently there's quite a few foreigners who will lie on that point.

 

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[Argue]

#8: Sale Me Fake Goods

When you buy an iPhone from the internet but you get a fake one!

Angry Customer: "Sold me a Pear"

 

[MisterBHZ]

#9

When you go on a website to find out prices, then you click the pricing tab & it says "please email us for pricing".

WTF MF

 

[Andy Black]

#10 - The next live webinar starts in 15 minutes.

 

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[Andy Black]

#11 - Read the article if you can close this popup.

 

[Andy Black]

#12 - Enter your email address to get our white-paper on how to choose a locksmith... because you're locked out and ringing us isn't the best way to get in touch with us.

 

[Andy Black]

#13 - Not picking up the damn phone.

 

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[Andy Black]

#14 - Asking a zillion questions in the contact us form, and then the Submit button doesn't work.

... or you never reply anyway.

 

[Sinjen]

#15 Requiring phone contact with sales people, or phone contact at all

"When can I get on your calendar for 15 minutes? I have the 13th at 1pm, the 14th at 8am...etc...available."

You can't. I sent an email, reply by email. Answer my questions.


If you want to meet the person in a company who knows the least about the company's product or service, talk to the salespeople.

 

[Ika]

#16 Open a Pop-Up as soon as the website loads.

I don't know you, I don't know if your blogpost/video/podcast/tutorial will help me solve my problems.
Why on earth would I download your "free limited ebook about learning [some broad topic]"?

What is a better way to use Pop-Ups?
Open them at a waypoint (at the end of the article), open them after performing action (writing a comment, liking, sharing), open them after a certain time spent on the website or after a certain number of redirects to other pages.

If I read three other blogposts, I'm much likely going to download the ebook.

 

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[Roli]

#17 Have a customer feedback form for your products, claim that you reply to every answer, and then don't, not even an auto respond to say you've got the mail...

Great additions to this thread guys; I started it because I was angry at the company in my first post; however I thought it's a great way to avoid the pitfalls that some of these companies get themselves into. Often without realising it.

Thanks @MJ DeMarco for the ++rep, I think I'm finally adding value

 

[Vigilante]

Thread marked notable

 

[MidwestLandlord]

Gotta add some B&M stuff!

#18 Add a travel fee to the invoice when you are only 3 blocks away

#19 Send an apprentice along with your Journeyman for a simple one man job, then charge me double the labor for 2 guys

#20 Show up for a 4pm service appointment at 4:55pm, then charge me over-time for working past 5pm

#21 Charge me for 2 labor hours when you were only there for 1

#22 Be so cash-light that you can't or won't stock common parts and make me wait 2 weeks for them

#23 Park your service truck directly in front of my customer entrance for your convenience, but ignoring the convenience of my customers and disrespecting my business

#24 Install refurbished used parts, but charge me for new parts

#25 In work done the 4th quarter of the year, wait to invoice me until the 1st quarter of the next year to reduce your gross. My accountant and business manager both LOVE it when you do this

 

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[mike24601]

I was looking for a good barber shop once and found one on Yelp with a professional looking website, a phone number, and listed business hours. I call said number during business hours and the owner answers with "Hello?" ............. I was so pissed. Hello?! Who the hell does that. You have a brick and mortar store, you're not cutting hair in the kitchen, start acting like it.

 

[Roli]

I was looking for a good barber shop once and found one on Yelp with a professional looking website, a phone number, and listed business hours. I call said number during business hours and the owner answers with "Hello?" ............. I was so pissed. Hello?! Who the hell does that. You have a brick and mortar store, you're not cutting hair in the kitchen, start acting like it.

#26 Not answering the phone properly

 

[Roli]

#27 Succeed in getting a potential client's phone number, and then only ever calling back at 7 p.m. (surely the most popular time to have dinner).

 

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[CommonCents]

yep, no address or phone? an automatic skip.

Lie #3 - Hiding

I can't tell you how many times I've checked the contact page of a company's website, and found no address listed. Very frustrating. I'm often trying to find more info on the company to determine if I want to do business with them, and they appear to be hiding their identity/location. I need to know if the contact is a domestic manufacturer, offshore manufacturer, distributor, importer, etc. and finding their actual address is part of the discovery process.

 

[CommonCents]

at least some indication of pricing. There are products and services I just have no clue as to the cost. I inquired about a digital printing machine. Similar looking equip were a few grand. After much effort and BS, i found out this one was $180,000. Dooohhhh. At least give some ballpark, is it free? 100 bucks? 100,000? If its not even in the ballpark for budget no johnny slapchop salesman is going to sell me on it. More like wasting 2 people's time.

 

[Roli]

at least some indication of pricing. There are products and services I just have no clue as to the cost. I inquired about a digital printing machine. Similar looking equip were a few grand. After much effort and BS, i found out this one was $180,000. Dooohhhh. At least give some ballpark, is it free? 100 bucks? 100,000? If its not even in the ballpark for budget no johnny slapchop salesman is going to sell me on it. More like wasting 2 people's time.

Big bugbear for me too! It's such a massive waste of everybody's time...

Can you do me a favour and edit your post and put a # to it. We're on #28, it's just nice to see just how many things there are and if we do ever get to 101 it will be very informative.

Cheers!

 

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[Fredyisgold]

#28?

RM by screaming at your prospect... "Come back and purchase this shit yo!!"

 

[JordanK]

#29
Post a video on Youtube explaining how you can help with a problem. Then proceed to talk for twenty minutes about random crap while only just touching on the original issue. At the very end of the video promote your *insert ebook/book/webinar/course/group* that you can sign up for for 19.99$ to get "the real secrets".