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Alarming inner quality

Anything related to matters of the mind

Itizn

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I've thought about this for a while but never really talked anywhere about it. Since I was a teenager in high school, up until now (27) I've always noticed an unsettling theme in my life when it came to getting things done.

I only got them done when it was minutes to midnight and failure was no longer an option. By this I mean when my bank account was in the single digits, or when a deadline was right around the corner. This applies for basically every relevant accomplishment in my life. I should note on a few occasions I did hit rock bottom, and didn't merely "succeed" just in time. In other words I got smacked with a dose of reality on more than a few occasions.

What I'm really getting at is this is a quality of mine that has both been quite obvious for some time, but also frustrating in my fastlane goals.

Knowing I don't have to get X done right now is holding me back from getting what I want to get done. I'm aware this is a mindset thing and have tried meditation, eliminating distractions, writing goals down, etc.. still yet to break that barrier. I still manage to take small steps forward into tackling what I know will be an issue in a month or two months time.

FWIW, I've slowly accomplished some things I'm fairly proud of in the past year such as eliminating student loan debt that was following me around for over 5 years, and taking "control" of my life by being able to put myself in a position to pursue what I want( became more financially literate, living in countries I wanted to, research what I want).

This is more of a rant than anything, but curious if anyone has ever found themselves in a similar situation, and if so how they combatted this quality that has been innate for their entire lives.

Thanks for reading.
 
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I've thought about this for a while but never really talked anywhere about it. Since I was a teenager in high school, up until now (27) I've always noticed an unsettling theme in my life when it came to getting things done.

I only got them done when it was minutes to midnight and failure was no longer an option. By this I mean when my bank account was in the single digits, or when a deadline was right around the corner. This applies for basically every relevant accomplishment in my life. I should note on a few occasions I did hit rock bottom, and didn't merely "succeed" just in time. In other words I got smacked with a dose of reality on more than a few occasions.

What I'm really getting at is this is a quality of mine that has both been quite obvious for some time, but also frustrating in my fastlane goals.

Knowing I don't have to get X done right now is holding me back from getting what I want to get done. I'm aware this is a mindset thing and have tried meditation, eliminating distractions, writing goals down, etc.. still yet to break that barrier. I still manage to take small steps forward into tackling what I know will be an issue in a month or two months time.

FWIW, I've slowly accomplished some things I'm fairly proud of in the past year such as eliminating student loan debt that was following me around for over 5 years, and taking "control" of my life by being able to put myself in a position to pursue what I want( became more financially literate, living in countries I wanted to, research what I want).

This is more of a rant than anything, but curious if anyone has ever found themselves in a similar situation, and if so how they combatted this quality that has been innate for their entire lives.

Thanks for reading.

I do this in my personal life but not in business. I'll wait until 45 minutes before I have to pickup my wife from the airport to clean the house. Or, our local grocery store closes at 1am so I'll wait until 12:45 to head out (It usually only takes me 5 minutes to get there and 5 minutes to shop). Although I keep up with how much the monthly house bills are, my wife writes out the checks because everything would be late if I was in charge. I suck at paperwork. That is another reason I have never borrowed money or had a loan.... I would suck at paying it back. I'd forget every month.
 

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I've thought about this for a while but never really talked anywhere about it. Since I was a teenager in high school, up until now (27) I've always noticed an unsettling theme in my life when it came to getting things done.

I only got them done when it was minutes to midnight and failure was no longer an option. By this I mean when my bank account was in the single digits, or when a deadline was right around the corner. This applies for basically every relevant accomplishment in my life. I should note on a few occasions I did hit rock bottom, and didn't merely "succeed" just in time. In other words I got smacked with a dose of reality on more than a few occasions.

What I'm really getting at is this is a quality of mine that has both been quite obvious for some time, but also frustrating in my fastlane goals.

Knowing I don't have to get X done right now is holding me back from getting what I want to get done. I'm aware this is a mindset thing and have tried meditation, eliminating distractions, writing goals down, etc.. still yet to break that barrier. I still manage to take small steps forward into tackling what I know will be an issue in a month or two months time.

FWIW, I've slowly accomplished some things I'm fairly proud of in the past year such as eliminating student loan debt that was following me around for over 5 years, and taking "control" of my life by being able to put myself in a position to pursue what I want( became more financially literate, living in countries I wanted to, research what I want).

This is more of a rant than anything, but curious if anyone has ever found themselves in a similar situation, and if so how they combatted this quality that has been innate for their entire lives.

Thanks for reading.
A daily schedule might help you with this sort of lazyness.
I was also in this trap a couple of years back.
Literally doing nothing for days, then doing all the work in 30 hours without sleeping.

The one thing which helped me most is to force myself into a routine.
It can be small things at first which you can build upon.
For example, pick an hour to wake up every morning, every day. Do it no matter what.
Even if it`ll mean you`ll sleep only 3 hours.
Do that for a month or however long it takes to become a habit.
Then move on to the next thing and add it in the daily schedule.
Make sure to tailor your routine to your goals.
 

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What you're describing is not so much an inner quality or inherent vice, but a set of habits. "Inner quality" implies a fixed mindset... you don't want that because it's hard to improve when you think in terms of immutable state. You need a growth mindset to apply to this problem.

The reason you're able to suddenly do your work at the deadline is because that's when your emotions reach a high enough state to force you into action. People are moved by their emotions... hence the root of the word. So you need to start learning to use your emotions effectively, basically to force yourself to work. Making lists or something probably won't help -- what makes you have to do the things on that list? You'll still wait until the last minute to start, and that won't be good for you in the long term.

I would suggest thinking about what emotion is triggered when you're right at the deadline. Is it fear of failure? Pride? Anger that something isn't done and it's preventing you from doing something else now? If you can figure that out, you can move that emotional state back and access it when you're not right at the deadline. It will take some thought, but you can rewire your motivators to be just as panicked, outraged, gung-ho, or whatever, much earlier in the process. The key is finding those emotions that force you into action.

Habits, the external kind like daily routines and things we do with hardly a thought, are a good intermediate tool for getting this EQ hacking right. One reason is that habits tend to have internally timed deadlines. Or they have deadlines based on other events. So if you can manage to make a habit of doing <insert work here> every morning before you finish your first cup of coffee, doing that work will start to feel like a deadline itself. Why should you care about that? Because you get motivated when you have deadlines, right? So start having them for things other than the end of a project. Give yourself repeating, daily deadlines, and if you get angry or frustrated when you miss them, great! Let that drive you not to miss the deadline the next day. Your work will naturally transition from "frantic bursts of activity" where it is now, to daily progress. That in turn will even out the emotional roller coaster of deadline --> omg work! ... and turn it into a less frantic form of motivation. It's much more satisfying to work this way.

I hope some of that made sense... you didn't exactly ask for Carl Jung, but I've been through the same thought process you described in your post. Maybe you'll get something out of it. Good luck ;)
 
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BizyDad

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I used to be this way. I still am, but I used to be also. :rofl:

Jokes aside, it does get better. I'm like 85% better, still do it 15% of the time.

What helped me was realizing, with a little life experience, that if I put something off I am not actually gaining any time now (because I found myself doing unproductive things anyways) and I was robbing future me of time. And robbing him of time meant he couldn't have some fun because future me would be stressed about getting something done at the deadline. That's not healthy. Poor future me.

So I figured I'll get more things done now and let future me relax a little bit.

Once I started this habit, I learned that future me is almost always smarter than present me, so he doesn't goof off either, instead he's going to get even bigger things done, because he finally has some time to do it.

"Past me" wouldn't believe the life "present me" is living and I wake up everyday excited to meet "future me" and figure out what more he has in store.

Hope that helps.
 

Andy Black

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I’d say it’s pretty common. I’m that way inclined, and I lean into it.

Why write that welcome email when no-one has signed up yet?

Why spend hours on the landing page copy when no-one has visited yet?

Why agonise over the ad copy when I don’t know if the ad will show yet?

I’m a subscriber to JIT.


It also reminds me of this phrase that tickled me when I heard it:

“Things don’t get done after meetings, they get done before meetings.” (Blaise Brosnan)
 

Johnny boy

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This is me 100%

I make a to-do list and get up earlier. Start the day with something that involves leaving the house and it'll change your day.
 
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Itizn

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Appreciate all the replies and insight gentleman.
Every day is a little better, but still not where I want to be. I'll keep working on it.

That said, nice to know there are others on here(who are quite successful) that have/have had this similar issue.
 

SteveO

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I have always been like that on most things. But not with the things that are important to me. It has caused a bit of embarrassment or feeling like I have let others down at times. But, I cannot recall any situation where it hurt my business dealings.
 

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This video will help you understand where your upper and lower tolerances are for things.

The biggest insight I gleaned was that "How you do one thing is how you do everything.

The way I got around this problem was to take on more responsibility. I have so much stuff to do that putting things off guarantees tomorrow is harder. I have no choice but to get shit done. If I had a choice, I would wait until the last minute, when it was no longer a choice of waiting but a choice of doing or not doing.

View: https://youtu.be/3FR1VLQc7HM
 
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Rabby

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Quick anecdote to demonstrate how bad this can get if you let it.

I once had a term paper and a report on a book (is was "Sister Carrie" by Theodore Dryser), due on the same day in college. I had not started either, and they were both due the afternoon of the next day. Two different classes, two different subjects. So I stayed up through the night and ended up working for over 20 hours on these things.

To try to get all the work done, I listened to the audio of the book (on cassette tapes in those days) while typing the paper on a different subject, and going back and forth between the paper and the research I was reading for it.

I couldn't drink enough coffee to keep myself awake, so I packed my lip with coffee grounds too, like it was chewing tobacco. Bleh.

I did manage to finish everything, but was late to one of the classes and looked like the dead. I think I learned something from the experience... I've never procrastinated quite that much since.
 

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I've thought about this for a while but never really talked anywhere about it. Since I was a teenager in high school, up until now (27) I've always noticed an unsettling theme in my life when it came to getting things done.

I only got them done when it was minutes to midnight and failure was no longer an option. By this I mean when my bank account was in the single digits, or when a deadline was right around the corner. This applies for basically every relevant accomplishment in my life. I should note on a few occasions I did hit rock bottom, and didn't merely "succeed" just in time. In other words I got smacked with a dose of reality on more than a few occasions.

What I'm really getting at is this is a quality of mine that has both been quite obvious for some time, but also frustrating in my fastlane goals.

Knowing I don't have to get X done right now is holding me back from getting what I want to get done. I'm aware this is a mindset thing and have tried meditation, eliminating distractions, writing goals down, etc.. still yet to break that barrier. I still manage to take small steps forward into tackling what I know will be an issue in a month or two months time.

FWIW, I've slowly accomplished some things I'm fairly proud of in the past year such as eliminating student loan debt that was following me around for over 5 years, and taking "control" of my life by being able to put myself in a position to pursue what I want( became more financially literate, living in countries I wanted to, research what I want).

This is more of a rant than anything, but curious if anyone has ever found themselves in a similar situation, and if so how they combatted this quality that has been innate for their entire lives.

Thanks for reading.

Read up on @LightHouse material and get control over your life.
 

Itizn

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This video will help you understand where your upper and lower tolerances are for things.

The biggest insight I gleaned was that "How you do one thing is how you do everything.

The way I got around this problem was to take on more responsibility. I have so much stuff to do that putting things off guarantees tomorrow is harder. I have no choice but to get shit done. If I had a choice, I would wait until the last minute, when it was no longer a choice of waiting but a choice of doing or not doing.

View: https://youtu.be/3FR1VLQc7HM

That was a powerful watch. The part that resonated most with me was when he said millionaires and billionaires don't mull over decusions, they act fast.

Thanks for sharing
 
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Bekit

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My default is to be an 11th-hour person.

This thread might help you:

 

WJK

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I have a question... What are you doing with your time before you rush in at the last moment and do what you need to do?????

It sounds like you don't have enough important things to do. I'm always juggling a bunch of stuff that needs my attention. That list makes me constantly make decisions about what to do next. My Grandmother taught me to do the hard stuff first. Getting the worst out of the way gives me a feeling of accomplishment that propels me through the rest of that never ending list.

One book that might help you is "The Tiny Small Changes Habits the Change," by BJ Fogg, PhD
 

Andy Black

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Quick anecdote to demonstrate how bad this can get if you let it.

I once had a term paper and a report on a book (is was "Sister Carrie" by Theodore Dryser), due on the same day in college. I had not started either, and they were both due the afternoon of the next day. Two different classes, two different subjects. So I stayed up through the night and ended up working for over 20 hours on these things.

To try to get all the work done, I listened to the audio of the book (on cassette tapes in those days) while typing the paper on a different subject, and going back and forth between the paper and the research I was reading for it.

I couldn't drink enough coffee to keep myself awake, so I packed my lip with coffee grounds too, like it was chewing tobacco. Bleh.

I did manage to finish everything, but was late to one of the classes and looked like the dead. I think I learned something from the experience... I've never procrastinated quite that much since.
You’ve reminded me of how I didn’t do any studying for my Maths degree until two weeks before each year’s exams. I barely attended lectures throughout the three years I was there.

I passed with the minimal amount of work required, and believe that was my biggest takeaway from University: Do what you need to do when you need to do it.
 
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WJK

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You’ve reminded me of how I didn’t do any studying for my Maths degree until two weeks before each year’s exams. I barely attended lectures throughout the three years I was there.

I passed with the minimal amount of work required, and believe that was my biggest takeaway from University: Do what you need to do when you need to do it.
So, Andy, you were there to get the degree, but not to learn the subject?

I just came home last night from two days of continuing education, and I felt the same way about that. I don't use the license, except for access to services, so I don't need the presented education -- only the CE hours to renew my license. I took online courses, that are also required for the renewal, while I start through the classroom course. I finished a total of 17 hours of instruction hours during my 7 hours in that classroom seat yesterday. It's all in the "WHY" of you being there.
 

Andy Black

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So, Andy, you were there to get the degree, but not to learn the subject?

I just came home last night from two days of continuing education, and I felt the same way about that. I don't use the license, except for access to services, so I don't need the presented education -- only the CE hours to renew my license. I took online courses, that are also required for the renewal, while I start through the classroom course. I finished a total of 17 hours of instruction hours during my 7 hours in that classroom seat yesterday. It's all in the "WHY" of you being there.
Exactly.

When I started my degree I was super excited to learn more about “the queen of sciences“. Except I soon realised we’d file into a lecture theatre and see the back of someone writing across a load of chalk boards while we all diligently copied it down.

I lost the will to live as well as to learn. I then decided I just wanted a 2:2 Honours Degree which meant a 50-60% pass mark.

I was systematic about achieving my objective. I got 51% which meant I didn’t waste any more of my life than I needed to.

I teach teenagers every year how to pass their Maths exams on the minimal amount of work. In fact, I’m off to give a lesson in about 40 minutes...

I may do a video showing how I passed those exams. Heck, maybe I do a course and shove it on Udemy. Haha. (Joking.)
 

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So, Andy, you were there to get the degree, but not to learn the subject?

I just came home last night from two days of continuing education, and I felt the same way about that. I don't use the license, except for access to services, so I don't need the presented education -- only the CE hours to renew my license. I took online courses, that are also required for the renewal, while I start through the classroom course. I finished a total of 17 hours of instruction hours during my 7 hours in that classroom seat yesterday. It's all in the "WHY" of you being there.

LOL. There is CE here in the States where you can get 24 hours of credits in 15-20 minutes. Just skip to the super easy quizzes! Some of the courses are so terrible (and inane, useless) it's almost funny. I think they should get rid of the requirements if they aren't even going to have serious education.
 
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Ing

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You’ve reminded me of how I didn’t do any studying for my Maths degree until two weeks before each year’s exams. I barely attended lectures throughout the three years I was there.

I passed with the minimal amount of work required, and believe that was my biggest takeaway from University: Do what you need to do when you need to do it.
Exact this I learned in university, too.
I had 5 months four months free time, one working for university and than one working for money. I loved it and I saw hom effective that is.

I dont think, its bad to do everything on the last push. I m much more productive on the last 5 minutes than on the hour before. So I often am lazy till nearly too late and than I push.
 

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Exactly.

When I started my degree I was super excited to learn more about “the queen of sciences“. Except I soon realised we’d file into a lecture theatre and see the back of someone writing across a load of chalk boards while we all diligently copied it down. I lost the will to live as well as to learn. I then decided I just wanted a 2:2 Honours Degree which was 50-60% pass mark.

I got 51% which meant I didn’t waste any more of my life than I needed to to achieve my objective.

I teach teenagers every year how to pass their Maths exams on the minimal amount of work. In fact, I’m off to give a lesson in about 40 minutes...
I felt the same way about law school when I started all those years ago. By the end of the first year, I no longer wanted to be an attorney. I had always been a straight-A student -- I didn't worry about being the best in my class. I was one of 25% who graduated and earned my JD -- which I use every day. The other 75% quit or got thrown out. After that first year, I continued to work about 60+ hours a week at my profession, and I carried 9 grad units for the rest of my law school years. By the time I graduated, I had qualified as an expert witness and both State and Federal Court in real estate matters. I developed a huge practice over those years while I was still in school. My grade point average for law school has never mattered.
 

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I have a question... What are you doing with your time before you rush in at the last moment and do what you need to do?????

It sounds like you don't have enough important things to do. I'm always juggling a bunch of stuff that needs my attention. That list makes me constantly make decisions about what to do next. My Grandmother taught me to do the hard stuff first. Getting the worst out of the way gives me a feeling of accomplishment that propels me through the rest of that never ending list.

One book that might help you is "The Tiny Small Changes Habits the Change," by BJ Fogg, PhD

I'm a person who gets easily distracted and am quite the daydreamer. That tends to be what has me lose focus a lot, trust me I have enough important things to do.

That being said I am making some progress the past few weeks with keeping on the right path. It involves me doing my most challenging tasks in the morning and in the evening. I've found that helps me not be lazy as I know that by holding myself to that standard, the end of my day will be just as difficult as the beginning.
 
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Andy Black

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Leverage your natural tendencies?

If you leave things till the last minute of the deadline then reduce the available time you have to do the work.

Use Parkinsons Law and the Pareto Principle to get the right stuff done in the shortest time possible... instead of wasting time on busy work (or daydreaming).

You know when you have a hard deadline to leave for the airport? And you get all the day’s work done in two hours? That’s the beauty of a hard deadline and shortening the time available.



Also, if you’re not motivated to do something then ask yourself why not, or better yet just find a why that motivates you to do it.
 

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I'm a person who gets easily distracted and am quite the daydreamer. That tends to be what has me lose focus a lot, trust me I have enough important things to do.

That being said I am making some progress the past few weeks with keeping on the right path. It involves me doing my most challenging tasks in the morning and in the evening. I've found that helps me not be lazy as I know that by holding myself to that standard, the end of my day will be just as difficult as the beginning.
Daydreaming is not a bad thing at all -- as long as you get the stuff done that you must do. I take daydreaming breaks in my day between chores and tasks. I write down questions during the day to ask myself to work on while I sleep. Then I write down my answers when I awake. Daydreaming is a very powerful creative activity and having that ability must be honored. At the same time, you must get the business of each day accomplished. It's a constantly changing balancing act -- performed on a high wire. There are no right answers. It's both exciting and grueling.
 

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