Willpower is for LOSERS!

[The-J]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2Wcu6aGyz8


For those who don't want to commit twelve minutes and thirty seven seconds to a video, he makes the argument (based on studies actually done and replicated) that using a lot of willpower doesn't actually make you more successful, and that the more successful people don't have more willpower but fewer temptations. For example: the unsuccessful person is beating back the urge to play Super Smash Brothers, whereas the successful person simply doesn't have the game and, if they did have it, would have thrown it away.

What do you guys think? Personally, it reminds me of a chapter in "The One Thing" where Gary Keller explains that people who think willpower is on will call are likely unsuccessful, and that Gary's success came when he realized that he could use the times when he actually HAD willpower to do the most difficult tasks.

 

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[juresesko]

It's easier to release yourself from temptations than to fight against them.

 

[Digamma]

First minute, it mentions the Marshmallow Experiment.

Immediately closed the window. Now my day is ruined.

I will just link this here:

 

[Deleted78083]

Youtube proposed me the exact same video today

 

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[InspireHD]

There is a good book dedicated to this topic, The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal. I listened to it on Audible but if you don't want to do that, she did a Google Talk that goes over the major points of the book. I recommend at least looking up the Google Talk. The Audible book is read by a male so it kind of throws off your perception a little bit.

 

[Andy Black]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2Wcu6aGyz8


For those who don't want to commit twelve minutes and thirty seven seconds to a video, he makes the argument (based on studies actually done and replicated) that using a lot of willpower doesn't actually make you more successful, and that the more successful people don't have more willpower but fewer temptations. For example: the unsuccessful person is beating back the urge to play Super Smash Brothers, whereas the successful person simply doesn't have the game and, if they did have it, would have thrown it away.

What do you guys think? Personally, it reminds me of a chapter in "The One Thing" where Gary Keller explains that people who think willpower is on will call are likely unsuccessful, and that Gary's success came when he realized that he could use the times when he actually HAD willpower to do the most difficult tasks.

Haven’t watched the video, but your summary reminds me of @MJ DeMarco saying that the battle isn’t won at the fridge, it’s won in the supermarket by not putting the cake into the trolley.

 

[peterb0yd]

I find keeping tempting things out of sight is good, but I've recently been practicing a more powerful concept that has been working wonders. I've read some books that warn against this concept, yet it works.

Want to know what it is?

Deplete your will-power (energy reserves) every day on the important things.

How does that look?

1. Set goals for the week.
2. Make an action plan that might get you to those goals.
3. Give 100% effort to follow your action plan every day.

Don't feel like following the plan today? Burn the will-power. Do it anyway. FORCE yourself. You'll feel great afterward. Ironically, your will-power miraculously gets replenished after (no one mentions this).

This lecture provides more insight about this topic than the one at the top of this thread -

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX2btaDOBK8


Do the work. Take the risk of getting burnt out. If you give a shit about what you're doing then you'll take the risk of getting burnt out. If you consistently aren't doing the thing you want to be doing because you "don't have the energy" then you probably don't care enough, in which case you should re-align your goals. Or you're simply afraid to "burn yourself out" which is bullshit in my opinion for the reasons stated above.

Working well for me so far.

 

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[Andy Black]

“Kill one rock a day.” (Blaise Brosnan)

Do it first thing.


(No rocks were harmed in the making of this post.)

 

[gryfny]

It makes a lot of sense really. I have apps on my phone to block social media before lunch so I can be more productive. Lately it hasn't worked well because I got distracted by other stuff (moving to a new apartment and everything that comes with it). But still, it does really helps me to not want to check my phone because I know I can't.

 

[The-J]

I find keeping tempting things out of sight is good, but I've recently been practicing a more powerful concept that has been working wonders. I've read some books that warn against this concept, yet it works.

Want to know what it is?

Deplete your will-power (energy reserves) every day on the important things.

How does that look?

1. Set goals for the week.
2. Make an action plan that might get you to those goals.
3. Give 100% effort to follow your action plan every day.

Don't feel like following the plan today? Burn the will-power. Do it anyway. FORCE yourself. You'll feel great afterward. Ironically, your will-power miraculously gets replenished after (no one mentions this).

This lecture provides more insight about this topic than the one at the top of this thread -

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX2btaDOBK8


Do the work. Take the risk of getting burnt out. If you give a shit about what you're doing then you'll take the risk of getting burnt out. If you consistently aren't doing the thing you want to be doing because you "don't have the energy" then you probably don't care enough, in which case you should re-align your goals. Or you're simply afraid to "burn yourself out" which is bullshit in my opinion for the reasons stated above.

Working well for me so far.

That's basically what Gary Keller was saying in The One Thing. Do your most important, most gruesome task when you have the most willpower. That's usually first thing in the morning.

As far as burnout, I dunno. It's not something to fear but it is something to be aware of. When I got burnt out working as an executive in an advertising agency, it put me off of starting my current business for a year. If I hadn't burnt out, I would likely have started it sooner.

Burnout feels like depression, and depression feels like a dark void that sucks all the joy out of everything. 7 weeks of 80-100 hour weeks made me take 3 months off of everything. Everything became a chore, including eating, jerking off, and video games. My relationship suffered, too. I'm not making that mistake ever again. I'm not afraid of it because I know what caused it, and I know how to avoid it (which is take at least one day off a week and engage in activities other than work). But burnout nearly ruined me in the deepest sense, and it's worth avoiding.

 

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[peterb0yd]

That's basically what Gary Keller was saying in The One Thing. Do your most important, most gruesome task when you have the most willpower. That's usually first thing in the morning.

As far as burnout, I dunno. It's not something to fear but it is something to be aware of. When I got burnt out working as an executive in an advertising agency, it put me off of starting my current business for a year. If I hadn't burnt out, I would likely have started it sooner.

Burnout feels like depression, and depression feels like a dark void that sucks all the joy out of everything. 7 weeks of 80-100 hour weeks made me take 3 months off of everything. Everything became a chore, including eating, jerking off, and video games. My relationship suffered, too. I'm not making that mistake ever again. I'm not afraid of it because I know what caused it, and I know how to avoid it (which is take at least one day off a week and engage in activities other than work). But burnout nearly ruined me in the deepest sense, and it's worth avoiding.

That's a wild story and I'm glad you got through it.

What were your goals at the time? To start a business or to excel in the agency?

I work a full-time job right now to pay for my side project. I go EASY during the work day. I ask others for help frequently. I often procrastinate *ahem* although I'm working to eliminate that. I don't like procrastinating even if it is for a job I dislike, it just doesn't feel good.

I don't overextend myself during the job because I, quite frankly, don't care much about the position or the company for that matter. It's nothing more than a paycheck at this point. It's not a goal of mine to rise the ranks in this company.

However, before and after work is a different story. I push myself hard to meet my goals for my side project and my personal life.

That's what I mean by setting goals and developing a plan. Part of the plan could be "I take three short walking-breaks during my day job to relieve stress" or "I'm applying to a lower-paying job with less demands to spend more time on my hustle".

Anyone can burn themselves out by forcing themselves to do something that doesn't align with their goals. In fact, that's why people "burn out" in the first place. They're doing shit that doesn't align with their goals. Finding out the goals is the first thing. That's why Gary Keller created the One Thing exercise to help that.

Then go all the way to achieve those goals. F*ck burn out.

 

[TonyStark]

I just have goals and dreams so powerful that I have no desire to do any of those things; i.e., they bore me.

 

[Deleted74925]

Agree with most of this thread.

Willpower alone isn't enough. The internet, food commercials, and TV are constantly finding ways to hijack willpower. Get rid of harmful distractions.

For me, things that have been helpful are

• Setting phone to grayscale
• Setting laptop to grayscale (when color-sensitive work isn't needed)
• Turning off phone notifications

Did you know that only fruit-eating animals see color? And that seasonal fruit is always brightly colored? The human brain is wired to search for bright colors because it thinks that it's a food source. App notifications, junk food/candy are always brightly colored.

 

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[Dwight Schrute]

For example: the unsuccessful person is beating back the urge to play Super Smash Brothers, whereas the successful person simply doesn't have the game and, if they did have it, would have thrown it away.

Let's say the unsuccessful person throws away the game...
but then he has to apply willpower to avoid buying it again!
Maybe he should throw his money out, too?

 

[amp0193]

Let's say the unsuccessful person throws away the game...
but then he has to apply willpower to avoid buying it again!
Maybe he should throw his money out, too?

You take escalating action as necessary. The more tempted you are, the more you have to put in place.

Getting rid of game didn't work? Get rid of the Xbox.

Went and bought a new Xbox? Get rid of the TV.

Went and bought a new TV? Sell the car. Remove all credit cards from online shopping sites. Transfer most of your money to another bank that you don't have a debit card attached to.

-------------------------

Examples of things I do:

To even allow myself to enter this forum, I have to remove a web security program and then go into a file in the system 32 drive and make an edit to unblock this URL. It's enough of a pain to keep me off here during work hours.

I have parental controls installed on my phone with blocked URLs that I know are time wasters for me. I made a pin that I could never remember. Only way to un-do it is to wipe and reset my phone... which is really inconvenient.

I leave my phone out of the bedroom at night.

I don't even walk down aisles with Junk Food

I turn all of my phone notifications off.

I put social and chat apps on the 3rd page of the home screen on my phone, so none are immediately visible.

I have like 16 total apps on my phone. No games.

I have never owned a TV.

I don't have a netflix account.



And it's not because I don't like those things. It's because i like them too much.

 

[James Klymus]

If there is one real "hack" for productivity this is it. Keeping distractions out of sight is key.

It's incredible how simple it is. I have the Facebook app on my phone > I check Fb literally every 5 minutes. I don't have the app on my phone > i don't even think about being on Facebook.

I keep my phone near me > I pick it up every 5 min looking for entertainment. I put my phone in a drawer in another room > I have no urge to use my phone.

One of the hardest ones for me though, is youtube on my laptop. Since I use my laptop for working, this one is tough, because youtube is a click away and I can end up there all day. Yes, I realize there are extensions and apps to help with this, I have them, and they do help some but they are easily defeated.

 

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[johncharles46]

I disagree. If you really have willpower, then wouldn't you be eliminating the temptation out of your environment in the first place? I think it's the chick and the egg problem: if you have willpower, you will change your surroundings to help you with your goals. The environment will then reinforce the fact that you're a person with a strong will.

 

[Madame Peccato]

Agreed. For example, I noticed I eat less if there is less food on the table. It's that easy. The same goes for everything else. Easy access to something means I am more likely to want that something (provided I like it of course).

It's why I find it so hard to stop biting my nails. I can't just not have them ready at my fingertips

My advice is to not try to challenge your willpower, as your mind is 10000000 times stronger than you, and you will succumb to it eventually.

 

[MHP368]

What do you guys think?

he's on to something, "willpower" has lost any empirically helpful meaning it may have had due to pop psychology abuse, most of the famous studies regarding it (ie "the marshmallow study") failed to be repeated (even though they, again, filtered into the general subconscious and frame the concept in a certain way for most people)

Duke University has an entire behavioral science wing that's actively pursuing this subject and the related concepts (habit building, peak performance etc) and they monetized the findings with the "fabulous" app.

One of the more useful findings was that you can make habits easier to keep up with by grouping them into "rituals" (say, you floss and shower and shave all at the same time - makes sense because it all occurs in the same room) , also one that's commonly overlooked is "celebrating" victories to use positive reinforcement (which is a curious thing to overlook given the fact that BF Skinner and pigeon studies occurred in like 1930)

anyway , if you're having a huge problem with video games and junk food and porn and things then it doesn't take a leap of faith to realize those are symptoms not root causes, you're not working on your finances because smash bros is so awesome, your playing smash bros because you feel like garbage and its the easiest fix you're accustomed to, so looking at the "whole" human it would follow that you need to have some kind of exercise and diet / meditation ritual in place.

the easy fix of course - would be to remove the gaming console from the house but that just leaves you open to another distracting quick fix "feel good" bad habit.

 

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[Jemmalee]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2Wcu6aGyz8


For those who don't want to commit twelve minutes and thirty seven seconds to a video, he makes the argument (based on studies actually done and replicated) that using a lot of willpower doesn't actually make you more successful, and that the more successful people don't have more willpower but fewer temptations. For example: the unsuccessful person is beating back the urge to play Super Smash Brothers, whereas the successful person simply doesn't have the game and, if they did have it, would have thrown it away.

What do you guys think? Personally, it reminds me of a chapter in "The One Thing" where Gary Keller explains that people who think willpower is on will call are likely unsuccessful, and that Gary's success came when he realized that he could use the times when he actually HAD willpower to do the most difficult tasks.

I watched it all and enjoyed it and learnt from it so thank you.

 

[Kevin88660]

I watched it all and enjoyed it and learnt from it so thank you.

Good stuff. I first heard such idea from Calvin Newport, a writer I respect a lot.

You win the battle by setting up the right environment, not saying no to temptations.

 

[peterb0yd]

anyway , if you're having a huge problem with video games and junk food and porn and things then it doesn't take a leap of faith to realize those are symptoms not root causes, you're not working on your finances because smash bros is so awesome, your playing smash bros because you feel like garbage and its the easiest fix you're accustomed to, so looking at the "whole" human it would follow that you need to have some kind of exercise and diet / meditation ritual in place.

the easy fix of course - would be to remove the gaming console from the house but that just leaves you open to another distracting quick fix "feel good" bad habit.

Totally agree. I found this to be true as well. The more bad habits you remove, the more you have to work on yourself to improve the root issue.

"There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root."
- Henry David Thoreau

 

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[Thinh]

I guess the title is a bit ostentatious on purpose.

I'd add a subtlety: Relying on willpower is for losers.
Usually in the right environment, you don't need much willpower.

 

[Kevin88660]

I guess the title is a bit ostentatious on purpose.

I'd add a subtlety: Relying on willpower is for losers.
Usually in the right environment, you don't need much willpower.

Agree. Will power should be your last line of defense, not first.

 

[Process]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2Wcu6aGyz8


For those who don't want to commit twelve minutes and thirty seven seconds to a video, he makes the argument (based on studies actually done and replicated) that using a lot of willpower doesn't actually make you more successful, and that the more successful people don't have more willpower but fewer temptations. For example: the unsuccessful person is beating back the urge to play Super Smash Brothers, whereas the successful person simply doesn't have the game and, if they did have it, would have thrown it away.

What do you guys think? Personally, it reminds me of a chapter in "The One Thing" where Gary Keller explains that people who think willpower is on will call are likely unsuccessful, and that Gary's success came when he realized that he could use the times when he actually HAD willpower to do the most difficult tasks.

Yep cut the bullshit and you win. Controlling the incentives is whatmakes the world go round.

 

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