What would you tell your 18 or 25 year old self?

[James Klymus]

Im 24, about to be 25 in a couple weeks, But lately I've been thinking about what i've learned over the first half of my 20's. Some of my lessons:


Don’t take yourself too seriously. I was solely chasing financial success when I was in my early 20’s, and around the beginning of the pandemic I had an honest conversation with myself, and came to terms that I wasn’t happy only chasing money. I was really caught up in self help and hustle culture, and thought I was so much smarter than all the people who were out with their friends on the weekends. Looking back, I should have spent more time with my friends and taken more social opportunities the past 3-4 years. Will you be the next billionaire if you decide to have a social life and pursue entrepreneurship? Probably not, but that doesn’t matter to me.


Stay out of consumer debt as much as humanly possible, Student loans, car loans, credit cards.The only exception I would personally make is a reasonable mortgage, but even then there would have to be certain circumstances. Don’t confuse this with business debt, such as a loan on a multi unit property. If you read MJ’s books, you should understand that consumer debt is a ball and shackle around your ankle. The more debt you have, the less freedom you have. Drive the old Toyota, live in an affordable apartment/get roommates. It's not sexy, but its a lot better than being a total slave.


Care about your appearance. I used to not care about how I looked, I had a bad haircut, no sense of style, and low self confidence. But something amazing happened when I started hitting the gym, wearing stylish clothes, and getting a better haircut; I had way more self confidence. All of the sudden I was talking to strangers, girls I found attractive, got invited out more, and became an overall social person. People say looks don’t matter, BS. We’re visual creatures, and looking the part is the secret handshake in a lot of social interactions.


Also, be more social. The worst thing that can happen is you get in a momentary awkward situation followed by a “well it was nice to meet you”. Other people have everything we could ever want, and it’s good to have a lot of connections and acquaintances.


Finally, Play to win. You may have heard this phrase before, but what does it mean? To understand it better, look at the opposite side of the coin, playing to not lose.


Playing to not lose: Getting the secure job and the comfy lifestyle, marrying the first girl that you have any sort of connection with, and play it safe. Don’t take any big risks, cause if you fail it’s assumed you’ll never make it back from that failure.


Playing to win: It’s doing the RIGHT thing, not necessarily the comfy thing. It’s making the phone call to the potential customer, facing rejection, investing money into your business instead of a new car or house. It's talking to the girl even if the timing isn’t perfect, or she's with her friends. It’s pushing yourself in the gym. It’s doing what you know is right, not necessarily what’s comfy or convenient.


If you play to win, You will come out ahead of most of the human race. Most of the human race is playing to not lose. That won’t change any time soon either, because playing to win is the exact opposite of what us humans have evolved to do. Now that we live in a relatively safe world, where there is almost 0 risk of starvation, or being exiled from a tribe to fend for ourselves, the play it safe mentality doesn’t really serve us.

 

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[steve schweitzer]

The most important thing I would tell me 21 year old self is that everybody is NOT your friend.

Most of the people that I thought were my "friends" in my early life were just leaches that wanted to see how much of my free labor I could provide, all while thinking I was "helping" them.

I was a professional auto mechanic and you will be amazed at the number of "friends" you make when they figure out you can fix their car.

I now am VERY selective on who I am friends with and NO LOSERS ALLOWED

 

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[Guest24480]

19 now, but I would tell my 14 year old self who would just be entering high school:

-You only go through high school once, stop caring what people think and be yourself
-For god's sake, shave that horror show of a trash stash before you gross all the girls out
-Don't play so much Modern Warfare 2, it's a waste of time
-Don't quit guitar, you have a talent worth pursuing
-Be nicer to your mother, she's there to help

Can't wait to see what life has in store for me 5 years down the road at 25! I'm finally beginning to realize how lucky I am to still be young..

 

[Ubermensch]

The next four years are going to suck.

I mean... it's gonna really be bad. You'll think about death... you'll FEEL as if you died...

You'll relate with Job in the bible. In the basement of hell, you'll embrace, cling to, study, seek inspiration from, harden yourself, and prepare for wretched glory so mind-blowing that you'll live up to ALL of the hype.

Lol. Your silly a$$ is gonna forget the fact that you're a muafuckin' genius, and anyone who can't see how you NATURALLY shine is obviously just blind to the glory standing right in front of their face. Don't worry, though... Four years from now...

SOMETHING F*ckING UNBELIEVABLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN...

You're going to transform into a god.

Nietzsche is going to re-awaken for this one.

If you can make it through the next four years without believing the doubters, without letting haters get you so down that you can't get up... if you can do that, then...

If you can, as Dr. HAHA Lung STRONGLY advises, imagine, concentrate deeply upon, and INSIST into reality, the image and mental movie of your stunning RI$E from the ashes of defeat...

If you can summon the ghosts of Sun-Tzu, Musashi, Napoleon, The Great Kahn, and King Alexander, and trace their strategies throughout your work...

If you can apply your strategies in tactical situations, in conversations with your clients and prospects...

Then you will make history your bitch. That is to say, you will make her say your name, even after you are gone.

That is a performance that Nietzsche would watch.

In fact, something tells me that he has a front row seat for this one...

Heh-heh-heh.

Eternal recurrence. Love your struggle. It is making you a better creature. A higher creature.

Take slow steps. Learn to walk. Soon, you'll be running, and before you know it, your feet will leave the ground. You'll be flying, and "the higher you soar, the smaller you'll appear to those who cannot fly."

"IT WAS ONCE said of the nineteenth-century philosophy firebrand Friedrich Nietzsche that "before Nietzsche, philosophy was ONLY philosophy... after NIetzsche, philosophy became DANGEROUS!" DR. HAHA lUNG, MIND-SWORD...THE FIRST SENTENCE IN THE BOOK...

When you are alone, keep INSISTING on flight, always attempting leaps from the earth, defying gravity, invisible thrusters in your mind PROPELLING you past limits... perhaps a sinister, smirking scowl on your face as you chuckle to yourself... HAPPILY THANKING ALL OF YOUR DOUBTERS FOR DOUBTING YOU, ALL OF YOUR HATERS FOR HATING YOU...

 

[nskitts]

Never let fear stop you. No matter the risk you will be fine even if you lose all your capital and your idea is a flop. Move on to the next. 99% of the people around you live in fear, and work jobs they hate due to fear.

Be brave, be different, close your eyes and fall forward into your plan and have faith that either way you will be fine, because you will be.

 

[regalforte]

Get a security guard night shift desk job in some building where no one will bother you, then read books about copywriting, sales, marketing, entrepreneurship, programming, accountancy, and law at the desk during your shifts. After a few years, quit the job and start a business with the knowledge you acquired.

 

[kph200]

Don't leave a$$ prints on sands of time. Run, walk, crawl if you have to but keep going forward.

 

[SteveO]

Live life with zest.
Do what you enjoy.
You create your life and your reality. Be happy with it.
Listen to your instincts.
Nobody else is the cause of your problems.
Experience all that you want from life.

Thanks @Roots for the reminder. It looks like my past "self" is better at giving me instructions than my future self.

I needed the reminder that "Nobody else is the cause of your problems".

 

[GMSI7D]

Shit!! 26 here.. Lol!!!

you know, i am forty and i wish i had been an a**hole at 25 instead of the good guy


because these guys have the good life anyway. while my youth was a complete disaster

let's do a quick calculation:

the average lifespan of a human is 75 years according to statistics

i have lost completely 20 of my best years. completely and i mean that

at 40, i can count on another 20 years of being able to have a life worth living before being old and powerless.

so i can't afford to remain the nice guy and to lose the remaining 20 years . the price is too high


so if anyone has ears to hear and a brain to think , my definitive advice is

" kick a$$, nobody is waiting for you after your death to reward you for being the nice guy "

and i mean that

 

[Young-Gun]

I'm still reading (on page 5) but I wanted to do mine

- Treasure every dollar. Skip every frivolous purchase. Put that money into entrepreneurship, savings, or travel. Buy the "stuff" later.
- Treat the people in your life better, especially the ones who love you. Love them back, with no shame.
- Go for what you feel you want, not what you think you want.
- Never do things that make you feel guilty.
- Align your Balls and your Brains. They work best in harmony.
- Make more music. Go out of your way to share it with people, you self-centered bastard.
- Continually strive to replace passive entertainment with active learning.
- Learn to program sooner. Software will become your ideal business model. You have a natural gift for programming and business. Put 2 and 2 together.
- Don't smoke tobacco.

AND I REPEAT:
- DON'T BUY STUFF. MONEY IS FOR VENTURES, SAVINGS, AND TRAVEL- IN THAT ORDER

 

[GMSI7D]

i just came back from a walk in town

next lesson you MUST learn at 25 before it is too late :

learn to handle rejection before fear destroys your life


today, a girl was raising fund in the street and she asked me money

i didn't give her money

instead i asked her :

" how can you handle to be rejected all the day ? this is incredible, i can't do that "

" in fact, my life has been a disaster because i couldn't accept a girl or anyone saying to me :

get away from me , i don't like you, loser ! "


the girl replied : " yes only 3 people a day give me money and i get rejected hundreds of time

but anyway when victory comes, i will be very happy ! "

can you understand that statement ?

i have lost my youth , 20 years of sex, relationship , success, and so on

whatever

because i couldn't understand this sentence

can you believe that ?

 

[rpeck90]

How many of you fastlaners feel it would be beneficial to start hustling/business around 19 years old? Or would you focus on creating good strong discipline and healthy habits to carry on for the rest of your life? Would you do both? This is my dilemma. This gold mine (Thread) has ran kinda dry, lets spark some new life into it

I started when I was 16 - playing with websites and such.

I will say this - I would STRONGLY recommend going for it if you are honest with yourself, and want to run a business.

I personally felt I needed experience over qualifications so I went with my CV to companies who were hiring at 17. I pursued ambitious jobs and just showed them what I'd done. Miraculously, a local company ended up hiring me even though I didn't have a degree. That gave me such discipline, motivation and money.

There is no substitute for money. You have to earn it, which builds discipline. If you have any doubt about your lifestyle, please remember that men age differently to women. Women only have ~5 / 6 years of sexual prime (18-24), after which they begin to decline. Men's sexual prime starts after 30 and keeps growing until maybe 55 (or more). This is why you see many older men with young women. As a guy, you don't need to be partying at 18 - you should be working. Men have it totally different to women - work in your 20's and party in your 30's.

 

[GoGetter24]

I always like it when threads like these are bumped. Simply because I realize, each time, new things I've learned which I'd go back and tell myself. So this time, after about a year of last answering, I'd add the following:

1. Do not target passive income at high stress or full time, without first getting active income under control. The passive income payoff profile is too sharp and takes too long and too many attempts to get right. Start with freelanced service offerings (active non-job income), and get that solid enough to reliably live off, before targeting passive income in a serious way. It is the stepping stone from job to business.

2. One year of runway won't usually be enough to get passive income right. Some guys will be lucky, wise or experienced, and land it in 6 months. Other's will need 3 years and still not get it right. I've seen both cases. In my case I'd have said a 1.5 year minimum was needed to not cause unwarranted stress.

3. Assume nobody online knows what they're talking about. Less than 1% of advice-givers are good sources of advice. How passionately, dismissively, or authoritatively someone gives advice, even if they themselves have gotten rich, is no indicator of whether you should follow their advice. It'll take time to work out who's actually providing good advice, and who's providing bad advice for their benefit (even if that benefit's as simple as the pleasure of talking down to other people). So study widely, and test things out with minimal investment, lest you get lead up the garden path.

4. Never attempt to use any "clever" tech, even if multiple confident nerds recommend it to you as "the best system to use". And definitely never use free or open source stuff that's not commonplace. Use the most mainstream tech possible. For instance if you want a personal website and don't know what to use, don't ask anybody what to use: just search "most common website tech", observe it's "wordpress", and then use wordpress. I'd probably go as far as to say you should absolutely never listen to a single word a tech nerd says, ever, on any topic, without them being further qualified -- such as having successfully run their own business for a long time, hired other people, done sales etc. Hit the block button immediately on any tech nerd type guy, their speech is as good as noise.

5. The earlier on in your entrepreneurial pursuits, the more you should focus on "out of the box" or "turn-key" solutions for getting you up and running. Keep it super simple. Do not try to customize anything yourself -- you don't have the experience -- you can do that later. Use your savings to contract with other people to do things for you, or to buy the proper software or tools or packages to get it done. Being cheap because you have little money is false economy: you should've just saved more money. Yes you could buy a $5 logo from fiverr, but it'll look like crap, so just spend $100 to get something at least OK. Never use cheap or free software. The time I spent screwing around with a free video editor is ridiculous: just spend $100 to get something real. If you don't have the money, you shouldn't be starting a business. Never do something yourself if you're useless at it. Stick to your core strengths or what strengths you wish to improve (you should have at least some aptitude in these).

6. Put more effort into finding partners, associates, affiliates, like-minded people, etc. Accept that 90% of new entrepreneurs are wantrepeneurs who're just playing at it, and that you'll have to filter a lot of people out to find good ones. But just going it alone is too tough if you don't have years of experience and skills and savings to rely on. A good partner or two can mean a project gets of the ground in a quarter of the time, as you complement each other's skills and help to motivate each other. Yes it seems easier to just go off and do your own thing, but it's false economy.

 

[BlackLynx]

I am 44 years old and here's my advice to my 18-year old self.

1. Read this : Hunter S Thompson on Goals -

2. Focus on developing good habits over setting goals.

3. Relax and enjoy life. It goes by extremely fast and people you take for granted might just disappear out of your life overnight. Enjoy their presence. Your circle of friends will never be larger than it is today. Keep the good ones, kick the bad ones to the curb. It's not easy to separate good from bad friends. A good test is to tell them when something good has happened to you. If they're happy for you they're a friend.

4. The present is all there is - start meditating.

5. Stop looking for where to find the party. Be the party.

6. Stop consuming and focus on creating value.

7. Look around and see what you can do for others. We're all suffering in our own way.

8. Take cold showers every day

9. To get out of your mind - get into your body.

10. New Year's eve 2001 - you will meet a woman called Lara. F*cking RUN. Yes I know she's hot. Run for your life and don't look back.

 

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[Envision]

Circling back to this thread now at 26 with some of the things I did right.

1. Find Mentors: My mentors shaved decades off my learning curve, I think differently and my businesses have gone way farther with their help.

2. Think Long Term: Don't start a business hoping to just make 10k/mo. It's just as hard to make 300k/mo as it is to make 10k/mo you just need to think long term about your decisions. You need systems, people, and sacrifice short term goals to achieve the latter.

3. Diversify: Lots of people thing you should focus on 1 thing. I didn't I built my ecom company, invested in real estate, got my degree, worked full time. The more you do, the more opportunities you create. You just need to be disciplined

 

[Vick]

I actually fell for Himler's trap before everyone outed him. Before there was any real background data on him, that all came later on. Thought he was the real deal, someone I could learn from. Turned out to be just a clown.

live and learn i guess

 

[JEdwards]

That's all you got old man?

No....

 

[smartman]

"stop trying to bang broads on myspace for 2 years straight and maybe do just about anything that resembles productivity"

 

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[odai]

My favorite lessons from the thread so far...

Refuse to judge yourself for the time already wasted, that was in ignorance, now you know, no excuses from now on.

Spend more time with your parents. Make their life better.

Stop chasing after girls whose looks promise heaven and deliver hell. Admit it, you're just horny and your balls are controlling your actions. Take control of your ridiculous urges bro.
...
YOU CANNOT CHEAT THE GRIND SO STOP LOOKING FOR SHORTCUTS.

 

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[SteveO]

I would show him the difference between process and events and why it's so important to focus on process. Why it's so important to focus on outcomes rather then goals. I would show him that it's okay to have been a huge pimp. Because of being a pimp made him end up with this finest lady. Move in, and be happy.

You must have a different definition of the word "pimp" than I do...

 

[Kinsey6287]

Stop pissing away your money and do something that will multiply it...

 

[Vagabond 007]

Thou shall not f**k around.

Get sh*t done.

 

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[Basilius]

"You've finally found a way that will get you to financial freedom. Pick a car (it's ok to do some research) and stick to it until you get there. No chasing of shiny objects is allowed. No tuning until you hit limits of that car. Stick to your chosen car, it will get you there."

 

[Tristan2k0]

This is pure gold for an 18 year old kid like me. I am so damn glad this forum exists, I read it everyday. Thank you to everyone who has posted in this, I am very excited to take this journey to the fastlane.

 

[Dami-B]

I'm 24... so what will i tell my younger self from a second ago

I will tell him 5 things

1. Write down every single skill you have acquired from conception to this date, and see how you can maximize those skills to add value into someone's livelihood, business and life.
2. Never stop learning, its the greatest asset you can have
3. Forget those girls. Get your mind in order. Start taking action towards your dreams no matter how little
4. Forget those thoughts. Life is a gift. Never ever ever give up on life
5. Keep believing in God, Never lose faith

 

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[Roli]

I would say; even though it seems pointless now, get into the internet, start learning more and for the love of Pete, stop taking ecstasy every weekend. You're never going to be a professional footballer, you are not dedicated and let's face it, good enough.

What's more, half the people you hang out with have trust funds and that's why they're breezing through life; what's your excuse? Basically if you don't listen to me now, you're going to be coming up to your mid-forties wondering why you're such a massive loser and you'll try and correct it, but it will probably be too late. That won't stop you though, you'll keep going and probably end up full of bitter regret.

You'll have a wife and a kid, who you'll love and you'll die inside every time you realise you're bringing up your daughter in the same impoverished conditions you grew up in. You won't have all the time you have now but you'll use it ten times more efficiently and you'll think back and wish you had used your time like that when you were 25, because you'd be a F*cking millionaire by now.

In short, don't be such a F*ckwit.

Oh and there is something called the pick up community, you could use a few of their techniques, look them up.

Then I would slap my younger self upside his head with a copy of TMF and say; if you don't believe me, read that..

 

[Young-Gun]

How many of you fastlaners feel it would be beneficial to start hustling/business around 19 years old? Or would you focus on creating good strong discipline and healthy habits to carry on for the rest of your life? Would you do both? This is my dilemma. This gold mine (Thread) has ran kinda dry, lets spark some new life into it

This question is great, even if it's over a year old. I felt compelled to respond for anyone who might see it in the future.

I'd say to start your business immediately... like TODAY. Age doesn't matter.

Use that enterprise as a core to form additional discipline and healthy habits.

When you're running your own venture, the pride (and stress) of ownership will naturally drive you to new heights.

You'll build your networth, and have a channel to pour your drive and energy into.

Having your own business creates a fantastic framework for personal development.

Trust me. Just do it. Being your own boss is worth it, every day. I can't imagine going back. I'd spend 50 years struggling towards my own dreams as my own boss rather than 50 years of plush golden handcuffs as an employee building another man's dream.

Spending the years of my life building another man's dreams.
The thought almost makes me retch. It physically raises bile in my throat. Don't go there.

My vote is 100% to start your own business NOW. It doesn't matter what age you are, 12 to 99. You'll figure it out as you go. And a new world of possibilities (and struggles) will open up before you.

 

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[InitialX]

Don't MARRY HER!

 

[xoxojbelle]

I'm turning 25 next year, but I'd tell my 20 year old self to stay away from student loans, work my way through college, and keep to myself.
Those boyfriends and friends I had in those days were terrible wastes of time.

 

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[theresgot2bemore]

Alot... so much but unfortunately some offline since we live in very different times. Hell if I could I'd tell myself in 2003, when I was starting high school as a freshman, what to focus on to save time and join the Fastlane much earlier.
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Individual life experiences may vary: Obvious, but some won't get it. Get this through your head early so you start analyzing who is who early on. It is easier than you think if you know where to look.

Not everyone wants to know or hear the truth: Instead play to people's fantasies when you're around Sidewalkers and Slowlaners (S&S). It saves you time and prevents you from creating your own pitchfork mob with S&S. Sure it is the early 2000's when you can be objective and expressive about truths but there will come a time in fall 2011 when this will change because too many questioned what they were told.

Because of this change be sure to hang out with only Fastlaners and expressive, positive, gung ho types now. The most dangerous types of people, both online and offline, are those who will present themselves as the most sanitized version of themselves, go figure.

Things are by design: There are people who will price themselves out of an entire state, move to new ones, and ask for the same treatment that priced them out of their home state. Best of all - they will never admit they were wrong. It is by design because it plays upon standard human nature. Infuriating it may be to deal with but it is by design. It is only a small part of how control is established in our society. There is money to be made in this sort of thing and it is through an obvious source and 100% legal. Don't worry about this if, for example, they move into your state. It requires you to think of the big picture if you want to know why that is. To understand more you have to study more about what's going on behind the scenes.

Associate with Fastlane folks early on: You should pride yourself on choosing to associate with a Fastlane kid from Key Biscayne. Notice the hate and insecurities from S&S when they talk about his kind because you're getting real life education on the difference between the successful and unsuccessful. All the awesome times and fine points you'll learn from being around Fastlane will be amazing so enjoy it. Realize that you are getting exposed to something 99% will not. Going to Alice town on a weekend just because and a whole bunch of awesome things you'll get to do are things the Fastlane offers. Notice how awesome you feel separated from S&S when staying at the Key and notice the feelings of negativity when you cross over the Rickenbacker back into the city.

While you are being shown how things are run in "The Key" talk more to the friends of your friend to create a Fastlane network early on. Also note if you have to pry someone open like a coconut to get them to talk about their background you're dealing with a S or S, period. The Fastlaners love to talk about their success as long as you're in the same clubs they are or connected to them by another Fastlaner. It is by design because of negative experiences they've had in the past. Even if you aren't in a club like they are pay attention to how people talk it is very telling.

Golf: Jump on the chance to join the golf club at school. There is a subtle air of old money emanating within the club so ensure you make the right connections there. In the real world this, among many others, is what the top folks do in their spare time as cliche as it is. This is the start of learning the connections ropes.

Question everything: Don't listen to the S&S talk about business. Also, don't believe the bs smearing of the word entrepreneur with dealing - it's a MIA thing. You'll save alot of time and face palming by not listening to most people who think you are dealing by focusing on being an entrepreneur. You're going to be a entrepreneur anyways!

On that note - sales is not a dirty word! You still have to sell to people eventually in one way or another so get used to it.

Cherish the fact you're being exposed to business early: Your early business experience is due to your Fastlane friend. His shirt company outlines all the mistakes you read in MLF. While you may not value it now you are learning what not to do. The business will not go anywhere due to a ton of mistakes but hey how awesome is it to not have to worry about funding since he offered it! Learn from this and your friend's marketing father because there will be strife between them later on unfortunately. Also start searching up resources like how to become a Fastlaner so you start getting ideas of your own and stumble upon FLF early on.

Question your beliefs: MJ use is not a moral issue it's a money issue. Don't ruin your friendship with your friend because you let slowlane family pollute your mind that MJ is bad. There will be a drastic movement to change the law and tons of money to be made from it. Start looking up north later on for states with more relaxed attitudes towards MJ use so you capitalize on it once you graduate.

Don't waste your time: If you decide to hang on to S&S friends you are going to waste 15 years of your life. There is so much negativity in those two areas that just isn't seen as much in the Fastlane area. Focus your time and efforts instead on Fastlane types only. You won't have to deal with the negativity and betrayal from S&S folks. You'll learn in time Fastlaners are better by default because of many reasons. So keep your eyes on the prize - Fastlane success.

Video games: In the early 2000's they waste time but around 2010 or so getting paid to play will start to become a thing. Cash in on it early on and create a following. Getting paid to be entertaining, and entertaining yourself, will become one sweet deal. Create an entertaining persona to capitalize on this.

If you're going to try out for Spec Ops do it as a personal test: It is preferable to do this sort of thing when you're financially set and when you're young. Save yourself the time, and pain, from quitting due to your familial problems and having to nip that in the bud by doing it early on if you decide to pursue it. The people in those areas are awesome and it is a great environment but you have to earn it. If you don't you'll wake up every day with your middle back aching due to ruck runs down 8th Street.
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Still sucks to think of the time I've lost that can never be gained back. However, I do know what to do and where to focus so I don't repeat those same mistakes again.