Unhappy? Then pack your damn bags and move...

[MJ DeMarco]

I pulled this quote out from another thread on doing something that you wish you would have done sooner...

GOLD! - HOT! - What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

What do you think about that he might be happier, because you (as parent) are happier? Of course it has an effect on my kid that I am happy too, but in this case it was so obvious that he really needed the change too (but it has more to do with the Danish School system than it has to do with...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Since my divorce 11 years ago I wanted to move away from my birthdtown, but for practical reasons (my kid was only 2 years old at the time) I stayed put…. Slowly I started to be more and more unhappy even though I chose to be near my family…

This year I did it. Took my kid an moved away and you know what? My kid bloomed within a week after moving… I thought the move was selfish need but after seeing how extraordinary happy My son became I realized it was the best thing for the both of us and I really wish I had had the courage to do that sooner than I did.

If you haven’t yet considered it, I highly recommend moving to a new city and a new culture on the other side of your country. Or hell, even expating to a new country if that is an option.

If you live in a shit country where emigrating is difficult, make LEAVING your priority. Forget the business stuff. What do you need to do to leave? Do you need a skill?

Don’t let “sacred cows” keep you immobile and planted like a tree.

A “sacred cow” keeps you planted with lame excuses like, “oh I grew up here, I can’t move.” Or, “my family is here,” or “My favorite football club is here.”

While family is important, most families are dysfunctional and many of them simply aren’t supportive of an Unscripted existence.

Moving to Arizona from Chicago was one the best decisions in my life.

If you have negative or uninspired history in a particular city, it can add significant mental baggage to your progress. Living in a place where you have struggled, failed, and lived unhappily is a mental burden, no matter how you want to frame it.

...Oh there's my old high school where I was bullied...
...Oh there's the intersection where I got into an accident...
...Oh there's my old best friend's house before he cheated with my girlfriend...
...Oh this is the route to my old job that I hated...
…Oh there’s the McDonalds I used to work at…
…Oh here’s the shitty weather that I can’t stand…
…Oh there’s my old neighborhood where my parents were divorced…
...Oh I hate shopping at that grocery story where I always run into my X-girlfriend...
...Oh there's that local park where the neighborhood bully beat me up...

Folks, STOP KIDDING YOURSELF.

There is nothing stopping you from moving. I moved to Arizona with $900 in my bank account. I realize that those with family, things are more complicated, but it's not rocket science. It's a matter of importance and prioritization.

Do you want to own a business? Or do you want a safe and secure job that keeps you mildly entertained for 50 years?

Making big decisions like this is on par with the big decision to become an entrepreneur.

You only live once. Yes, happiness is largely a choice. However, you can make choices that make the choice to be happy, much easier.

Make happiness a priority. Make choices that make happiness more likely.

Another way of looking at it... if you grew up in a home with a lot of bad memories, what the hell would you choose to stay there? Why do you want to be reminded of bad times? And if your city/home does a good job at reminding you of unhappiness, PACK YOUR DAMN BAGS and MOVE.

 

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[WillHurtDontCare]

Great post MJ

Aside from the things you get (better people, better weather, better money, etc) from moving to a new place, moving is also one of the best ways to leave your own baggage behind and ditch the parts of yourself that you want to move past.

 

[Bohemi]

I pulled this quote out from another thread on doing something that you wish you would have done sooner...

GOLD! - HOT! - What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

What do you think about that he might be happier, because you (as parent) are happier? Of course it has an effect on my kid that I am happy too, but in this case it was so obvious that he really needed the change too (but it has more to do with the Danish School system than it has to do with...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

If you haven’t yet considered it, I highly recommend moving to a new city and a new culture on the other side of your country. Or hell, even expating to a new country if that is an option.

If you live in a shit country where emigrating is difficult, make LEAVING your priority. Forget the business stuff. What do you need to do to leave? Do you need a skill?

Don’t let “sacred cows” keep you immobile and planted like a tree.

A “sacred cow” keeps you planted with lame excuses like, “oh I grew up here, I can’t move.” Or, “my family is here,” or “My favorite football club is here.”

While family is important, most families are dysfunctional and many of them simply aren’t supportive of an Unscripted existence.

Moving to Arizona from Chicago was one the best decisions in my life.

If you have negative or uninspired history in a particular city, it can add significant mental baggage to your progress. Living in a place where you have struggled, failed, and lived unhappily is a mental burden, no matter how you want to frame it.

...Oh there's my old high school where I was bullied...
...Oh there's the intersection where I got into an accident...
...Oh there's my old best friend's house before he cheated with my girlfriend...
...Oh this is the route to my old job that I hated...
…Oh there’s the McDonalds I used to work at…
…Oh here’s the shitty weather that I can’t stand…
…Oh there’s my old neighborhood where my parents were divorced…
...Oh I hate shopping at that grocery story where I always run into my X-girlfriend...
...Oh there's that local park where the neighborhood bully beat me up...

Folks, STOP KIDDING YOURSELF.

There is nothing stopping you from moving. I moved to Arizona with $900 in my bank account. I realize that those with family, things are more complicated, but it's not rocket science. It's a matter of importance and prioritization.

Do you want to own a business? Or do you want a safe and secure job that keeps you mildly entertained for 50 years?

Making big decisions like this is on par with the big decision to become an entrepreneur.

You only live once. Yes, happiness is largely a choice. However, you can make choices that make the choice to be happy, much easier.

Make happiness a priority. Make choices that make happiness more likely.

Another way of looking at it... if you grew up in a home with a lot of bad memories, what the hell would you choose to stay there? Why do you want to be reminded of bad times? And if your city/home does a good job at reminding you of unhappiness, PACK YOUR DAMN BAGS and MOVE.

Couldn’t agree more!

Just because they are family by blood, doesn’t always mean they are good for you.

But I must say that the moving part was easy enough, it has been the part of leaving the bad habits behind and beliefs behind that has been the most challenging of it. But it helps to surround yourself with new people, new environment and for me, new opportunitie.

The sweet irony is that I didn’t feel I could afford moving, but it got so bad for me to stay there that I realized it costed me more to stay. And within a month, I found a new place for my kid and the struggle I have had with building my own business seems to fade away and I see a whole new world in front of me (thanks to UNSCRIPTED thinking)

 

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[Johnny boy]

...Oh there's my old high school where I was bullied...
...Oh there's the intersection where I got into an accident...
...Oh there's my old best friend's house before he cheated with my girlfriend...
...Oh this is the route to my old job that I hated...
…Oh there’s the McDonalds I used to work at…
…Oh here’s the shitty weather that I can’t stand…
…Oh there’s my old neighborhood where my parents were divorced…
...Oh I hate shopping at that grocery story where I always run into my X-girlfriend...
...Oh there's that local park where the neighborhood bully beat me up...

MJ didn't have any fun as a kid lol he kept getting cheated on and beat up

I drive around and think "There's the parking lot I smashed the ASU cheerleader" and "there's the guys house me and my teammates fired mortar fireworks at" and "There's that high school where I bullied all those nerds".

 

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[David Fitz]

I took the leap and moved from Ireland to Portugal.

I was very comfortable in Ireland. I was earning decent money with my cleaning business.

I was very unhappy though. I've always hated living in Ireland.

I'm here now in Portugal and don't think I'd ever go back home.

I had to start out from Scratch with an online business. Last month I thought I was going to have to get a JOB but it all seems to be working out now.

You just have to take that risk and move.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

The moment I finally pull a fastlane success and start earning more income then my father I'm straight outta that house

The point is, you might need to move first before tasting any success. Your environment is holding you back. You can’t expect to get clean and sober when you live and work in a tavern.

Slightly disagree there @MJ DeMarco

You missed out the bit of: "you take yourself wherever you go"

So unless you're prepared to shift your mindset prior to leaving or once 'arrived' at your new place of a new you, then you just may encounter "same shit - different day" scenarios!

Just my 2cents...

Sure there is some of this involved, however the “yourself” is a product of environment. Change the environment to change you.

As stated above, you cant expect to get clean and sober if you stay committed to the tavern you insist on having in your life.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I'd move anywhere but my thoughts are that you need to be able to make money.

Excuses. You can make money anywhere.

Clearly the pain of having to deal with an insane family isn't quite enough to the perceived pain of moving and figuring it out.

I moved 1,800 miles with $900 and no job and a business that made about $100/mo.

Instead of thinking about every excuse why I couldn't, I thought about how I could, right down to the worse case scenario which was still BETTER than staying put.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

but need to do some travelling and see what city I like best.

I visited 5 cities and checked them out before moving.

With my recent move to UT, I also visited prior to moving.

It's important that the city meets your needs. For example, I like UT now that I'm 50+. However if I was 26, I don't think I'd like it here as it is too slow paced and not a lot of night life.

 

[Johnny boy]

Glad you stayed away from UW, antibiotics are useless in U District.

I never said I did

UW Seattle 2019 Holloween party. I dressed as a baby and these girls dressed up as 5's or something.


okay enough about me

Chazz, is that you?

View: https://youtu.be/l4D5zScOFKU

lmaoo livin the dream

 

[MitchC]

Moving to a different country is the single best decision I have ever made

I could have done nothing business wise after making that choice and still been way better off in terms of income and quality of life due to the opportunities, people, weather and incomes where I moved

I could have stayed where I was and done everything right business wise and I’d probably still be broke and my life would still suck

Even if I somehow made a more successful business there than I have here my life still wouldn’t be as good due to the people and the weather and the general poverty of the country

Also if you are going to move, you may as well move somewhere where it’s warm year round, there’s a whole thread about that already though

And if you’re moving city or state, you may as well just move country if you think it’s going to work out better for you

You’ll still go back home just as much, or as little, as you would if you were closer

Don’t pick a place that’s close, pick the best place for you

 

[Xavier X]

Yup! Get your stuff and move!

In my case, I donated and gave away nearly everything in my apartment, and sold some at ridiculous giveaway prices. Like my $3000ish leather Safavieh sectional I sold to a family on Craigslist, for 50 bucks! They were so excited.
The $50 was more symbolic than anything, as I just didn't want to list it as "free."

My initial plan was to travel for 1 year, but I've just crossed 5 years. My life wasn't bad in the US, and I didn't have any "toxic" situations I had to run from. However, it was beginning to get dull, mundane and repetitive.

Especially since I had resigned my 9-5 in 2013, to focus solely on my own business. I was working from home, day in and day out, long before the pandemic made working from home mainstream.

In the last 5 years, I've lived in and visited nearly 40 countries, on 5 continents. Would've been 6, if I didn't miss a flight and decide to cancel that trip to Australia. I've met lots of great people (including my now fiancee, whom I've been with going on 4 years now). I am definitely happier today than I was before I left. Every single aspect of my life is better than it was.

Not everyone needs to travel the world, but if you find that one place that works for you, don't hesitate to move there. You don't need to save a million bucks to pull the trigger. Even just 2-3 months of runway cash is fine, provided you have somewhat stable income.

 

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[Antifragile]

MJ didn't have any fun as a kid lol he kept getting cheated on and beat up

I drive around and think "There's the parking lot I smashed the ASU cheerleader" and "there's the guys house me and my teammates fired mortar fireworks at" and "There's that high school where I bullied all those nerds".

Chazz, is that you?

View: https://youtu.be/l4D5zScOFKU

 

[AmazingLarry]

100%

I don't know how people can spend their entire lives living in the same place without ever living somewhere else.

Its amazing how being somewhere new opens your mind up to new possibilities and opportunities, and gives you that feeling of being able to reinvent certain parts of yourself.

 

[MTF]

I agree with some of it.

Moving to a new place can help you put physical distance between you and certain triggers like bad friends, family members, places that remind you of something, etc. The change in climate alone can have a huge impact on your well-being. I know this firsthand as I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and winter kills my spirit.

At the same time, wherever you go, there are things you can't get away from just by moving elsewhere. Many people feel that if they change their environment, magically everything in their lives will be fixed as well. But if you have some deep internal issues, the most likely outcome is that sooner or later they'll reappear in the new location.

Now, that new location may possibly help you overcome these issues more easily. But it may also not do much if your problems are 100% internal and require pure inner work.

 

[Mikeyyy]

I pulled this quote out from another thread on doing something that you wish you would have done sooner...

GOLD! - HOT! - What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

What do you think about that he might be happier, because you (as parent) are happier? Of course it has an effect on my kid that I am happy too, but in this case it was so obvious that he really needed the change too (but it has more to do with the Danish School system than it has to do with...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

If you haven’t yet considered it, I highly recommend moving to a new city and a new culture on the other side of your country. Or hell, even expating to a new country.

Don’t let “sacred cows” keep you immobile and planted like a tree.

A “sacred cow” keeps you planted with lame excuses like, “oh I grew up here, I can’t move.” Or, “my family is here,” or “My favorite football club is here.”

While family is important, most families are dysfunctional and many of them simply aren’t supportive of an Unscripted existence.

Moving to Arizona from Chicago was one the best decisions in my life.

If you have negative or uninspired history in a particular city, it can add significant mental baggage to your progress. Living in a place where you have struggled, failed, and lived unhappily is a mental burden, no matter how you want to frame it.

...Oh there's my old high school where I was bullied...
...Oh there's there intersection where I got into an accident...
...Oh there's my old best friend's house before he cheated with my girlfriend...
...Oh this is the route to my old job that I hated...
…Oh there’s the McDonalds I used to work at…
…Oh here’s the shitty weather that I can’t stand…
…Oh there’s my old neighborhood where my parents were divorced…
...Oh I hate shopping at that grocery story where I always run into my X-girlfriend...
...Oh there's that local park where the neighborhood bully beat me up...

Folks, STOP KIDDING YOURSELF.

There is nothing stopping you from moving. I moved to Arizona with $900 in my bank account. I realize that those with family, things are more complicated, but it's not rocket science. It's a matter of importance and prioritization.

Do you want to own a business? Or do you want a safe and secure job that keeps you mildly entertained for 50 years?

Making big decisions like this is on par with the big decision to become an entrepreneur.

You only live once. Yes, happiness is largely a choice. However, you can make choices that make the choice to be happy, much easier.

Make happiness a priority. Make choices that make happiness more likely.

Another way of looking at it... if you grew up in a home with a lot of bad memories, what the hell would you choose to stay there? Why do you want to be reminded of bad times? And if your city/home does a good job at reminding you of unhappiness, PACK YOUR DAMN BAGS and MOVE.

I fully agree with MJ. The environment you put yourself in plays a huge role on your mood. I myself currently live in Canada, though I've been focusing on moving to the Southern US from many reasons one main reason being the weather. I get bad seasonal depression and with it now being winter and the sun almost never coming out and having to deal with ankle deep snow. It's taken a toll on me.

 

[fastlane_dad]

I pulled this quote out from another thread on doing something that you wish you would have done sooner...

GOLD! - HOT! - What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

What do you think about that he might be happier, because you (as parent) are happier? Of course it has an effect on my kid that I am happy too, but in this case it was so obvious that he really needed the change too (but it has more to do with the Danish School system than it has to do with...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

If you haven’t yet considered it, I highly recommend moving to a new city and a new culture on the other side of your country. Or hell, even expating to a new country if that is an option.

If you live in a shit country where emigrating is difficult, make LEAVING your priority. Forget the business stuff. What do you need to do to leave? Do you need a skill?

Don’t let “sacred cows” keep you immobile and planted like a tree.

A “sacred cow” keeps you planted with lame excuses like, “oh I grew up here, I can’t move.” Or, “my family is here,” or “My favorite football club is here.”

While family is important, most families are dysfunctional and many of them simply aren’t supportive of an Unscripted existence.

Moving to Arizona from Chicago was one the best decisions in my life.

If you have negative or uninspired history in a particular city, it can add significant mental baggage to your progress. Living in a place where you have struggled, failed, and lived unhappily is a mental burden, no matter how you want to frame it.

...Oh there's my old high school where I was bullied...
...Oh there's the intersection where I got into an accident...
...Oh there's my old best friend's house before he cheated with my girlfriend...
...Oh this is the route to my old job that I hated...
…Oh there’s the McDonalds I used to work at…
…Oh here’s the shitty weather that I can’t stand…
…Oh there’s my old neighborhood where my parents were divorced…
...Oh I hate shopping at that grocery story where I always run into my X-girlfriend...
...Oh there's that local park where the neighborhood bully beat me up...

Folks, STOP KIDDING YOURSELF.

There is nothing stopping you from moving. I moved to Arizona with $900 in my bank account. I realize that those with family, things are more complicated, but it's not rocket science. It's a matter of importance and prioritization.

Do you want to own a business? Or do you want a safe and secure job that keeps you mildly entertained for 50 years?

Making big decisions like this is on par with the big decision to become an entrepreneur.

You only live once. Yes, happiness is largely a choice. However, you can make choices that make the choice to be happy, much easier.

Make happiness a priority. Make choices that make happiness more likely.

Another way of looking at it... if you grew up in a home with a lot of bad memories, what the hell would you choose to stay there? Why do you want to be reminded of bad times? And if your city/home does a good job at reminding you of unhappiness, PACK YOUR DAMN BAGS and MOVE.

Great post ...

Just like MJ, @NeoDialectic and I (along with a few others) made the move early in our 20s from cold, overcast, snowy midwest to sunny Arizona and we also attribute it to being one of the best moves of our lives.

While it did take away from family / friends at the time ---> it gave us tons of freedom, space and autonomy to help figure out our next steps in life, focus on building a business (s), and not have to suffer through another winter.

We left a lot of slowlaning buddies and influences behind (including family). Not to worry, I still got grief 2000 miles away constantly, but perseverance and mindset tops all.

Going on 15+ years here already, and it's tough to find a suitable alternative yet, but the mind always keeps wondering!

Awesome reminder to all!

 

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[Jadus]

I totally agree. I made my escape almost 8 years ago and never looked back. I was working an average of 10 hours a day, often 6 days a week, sometimes 7. I made good money but it was high-stress and it affected my health.

I had one colleague and friend who died of a heart attack on his way to work. My boss's x-husband, who worked for the same company, died in the same way. I later found out that someone who I worked with occasionally, died one morning in his car in the garage. It wasn't clear if it was a heart attack or suicide. I had heart palpitations on my way to work one day and had to go to the hospital to get checked out. I decided I needed to do something or possibly face the same consequences.

I always wanted to have my own online business, which I tried to start in the little spare time that I had. But every time I dedicated myself to working on a project, the overtime requirements would go up. It's hard to stay motivated when all you want to do at the end of a long day is eat and sleep, before waking up at 5am again the next day.

I thought about retiring early but figured it would take forever to save up enough to do it in the states. But I had been to Thailand a couple of times on vacation and knew how inexpensive it is. (I'm writing this from an ocean view condo on the 20th floor. I'm sure it would be around $500 - $1000 per night in the USA. I'm paying around$35.

So one day I had an epiphany. I didn't need to save enough to retire early in the USA. I could retire early from the job and live on much less in Thailand. So, I saved up a nest egg for 2 years and moved to Thailand with my 401K and pension. Here, I was able to live inexpensively and build the online business that I wanted.

Not only that, but I experience another culture here (which has its good and bad points). I've made more friends here than I ever had in the USA, because I have more time freedom and it's common to seek out other expats, from the USA as well as other countries. Travel opportunities are plentiful and relatively cheap. It really was the best decision of my life.

 

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[Johnny boy]

Glad it was ASU and not WSU

I've done that too. Antibiotics aren't too expensive though.

 

[Xavier X]

What was the thought process when you decided to travel for 1 year? As in, what sparked it other than you felt your life was mundane? Did you just wake up one day and decided to do it or was it a longer process? What are your favorite countries and why?

It was a longer process. I always wanted to do it, but was always waiting for "the right time." AKA when I had a ton of cash saved up. After resigning my 9-5, I spent 3.5 years at home, focusing on getting my remote income to a better place.

While I was happy to be out of the 9-5 rat race, being at home working all day started to take a toll. Especially since I had significantly cut down on social activities, in order to fully focus. I realized I could do the same thing I was doing anywhere, and be fine. As my income was good enough to be anywhere. So I waited till my lease was up, and headed out.

Favorite countries:

Brazil: I've always loved Brazilian people, and enjoyed my time in Brazil. Nearly a year.
Only spent time in Rio and Sao Paulo, but it was great. The USD was also at its highest against the BRL when I was there, so that worked well for me.

Colombia: I love Colombia and Colombians too, and have spent lots of time there. Good value place to stay.

South Korea: I liked the months spent in Seoul, South Korea and Ulsan. Nice cities and decent food.

Argentina: I have a love-hate relationship with Argentina. Buenos Aires is such a beautiful and relatively safe city, and certainly my favorite city in LatAm. Great historic architecture. However, I am not a fan of the people.. at all. They have been the least personable people I've met in Latin America. And probably in the world.

On the bright side, Buenos Aires might be the best value place in LatAm. Good quality infrastructure, low cost of everyday living. Especially because there's an official exchange rate, and a parallel one which effectively makes everything in the country 50% off for me.

Other worthy mentions are Portugal (Lisbon), Ethiopia (Addis Ababa), Indonesia (Bali), Hong Kong.

Did you meet your fiancée when traveling? Is she a digital nomad, too?

Yes, I met her while traveling. She was not a "digital nomad" in that sense, when I met her. She had a regular job in the medical field and was only visiting some countries, for some time. She had to return to her job in her country a few times, at the onset of our relationship.

So I suggested she learn a specific online business, and told her what it entailed. She did, and once she had a few ongoing clients months later, she quit the job and hasn't had to go back to it. Now, she makes about 5x more at the business than she did at that job. Years later, she still wakes up being thankful she isn't waking up to run to work in the snow. And we can step outside and be in an interesting relatively new place, each time.

 

[Niptuck MD]

There's the parking lot I smashed the ASU cheerleader

Glad it was ASU and not WSU

 

[fastlane_dad]

I agree with some of it.

Moving to a new place can help you put physical distance between you and certain triggers like bad friends, family members, places that remind you of something, etc. The change in climate alone can have a huge impact on your well-being. I know this firsthand as I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and winter kills my spirit.

At the same time, wherever you go, there are things you can't get away from just by moving elsewhere. Many people feel that if they change their environment, magically everything in their lives will be fixed as well. But if you have some deep internal issues, the most likely outcome is that sooner or later they'll reappear in the new location.

Now, that new location may possibly help you overcome these issues more easily. But it may also not do much if your problems are 100% internal and require pure inner work.

Spot on.

As the saying goes 'Wherever you Go - There you Are'

 

[Paul David]

Great post. My biggest regret is not moving out of the UK years ago before we had children.

You're lucky in the USA that you can move to a completely different climate but remain in the same country.

Over here it means moving countries and with that comes a lot of more hurdles to jump, like visas, language barriers etc.

Kids are 12 and 14 so we're staying put for now.

 

[Oppiaceo209]

MJ, i've got to thank you man, the first ever book i read, was TMF , you changed my life and how i perceive it, your book started a chain of improvement, learning and action that are slowly improving my life. I can't remember in which book and which part you explained how you moved to arizona and how you decided it. I used that method, and now im moving to Australia (from a F*cking isolated shitty town in Italy, basically a limiting bubble), in one month i will be there, and i don't know what to expect. I trust myself so much that i know i will do great things. Im 30 hours of flight away from my family, but now, i don't care. I don't know if you will read this but, its crazy that a man overseas that don't even know my existance changed my life perception in some words. Thank you again

 

[David Fitz]

I love it. That's awesome. Are you buying a house in Portugal? Are you learning Portuguese? How has your daily life and hobbies change?

Thanks.

We're still sussing out Portugal and deciding between here or Spain. Taxes in Portugal are high if you don't get the NHR scheme here and it's only for 10 years.

Property is dear here too compared to places in Spain like Alicante.

Lifestyle has changed a lot. We are very active which we wanted. The sun shines about 300 days a year compared to about 100 back in Ireland.

We seem to be meeting a lot more people than we did back home which is surprising. It's like when you meet expats you have something in common and a lot of people have moved here too who work or a have a business online.

 

[Mikeyyy]

The sweet irony is that I didn’t feel I could afford moving, but it got so bad for me to stay there that I realized it costed me more to stay. And within a month, I found a new place for my kid and the struggle I have had with building my own business seems to fade away and I see a whole new world in front of me (thanks to UNSCRIPTED thinking)

Yea that's one of the things that was holding me down. The idea in my mind that I can't afford it, or that It'll set me back financially. Though in reality its not that expensive to move. I've meet many people who moved here from other parts of the world with very little money. So the only thing that was really holding me back was my mindset.

 

[Simon Angel]

I visited 5 cities and checked them out before moving.

With my recent move to UT, I also visited prior to moving.

It's important that the city meets your needs. For example, I like UT now that I'm 50+. However if I was 26, I don't think I'd like it here as it is too slow paced and not a lot of night life.

Lol, you used to be a party guy in your 20s huh? I'm about your age - the latter age - and I go to clubs like once a year, VERY reluctantly. Though from where I'm from, we start partying and drinking at about 13-14 on average and go hard until around 20.

I'm literally disgusted whenever I walk into a bar or a nightclub. It's not like I can't fit in or anything like that - I'm just disappointed by the atmosphere and the majority of the people that reside in these establishments. It's like they're magnets for the most insecure dudes and the trashiest women in your city.

Anyway, I can relate to this thread. While I haven't recently moved cities, I did move to my own place - a very nice apartment away from family - and the autonomy and sense of peace have certainly been nice.

 

[Mikeyyy]

Lol, you used to be a party guy in your 20s huh? I'm about your age - the latter age - and I go to clubs like once a year, VERY reluctantly. Though from where I'm from, we start partying and drinking at about 13-14 on average and go hard until around 20.

I'm literally disgusted whenever I walk into a bar or a nightclub. It's not like I can't fit in or anything like that - I'm just disappointed by the atmosphere and the majority of the people that reside in these establishments. It's like they're magnets for the most insecure dudes and the trashiest women in your city.

Anyway, I can relate to this thread. While I haven't recently moved cities, I did move to my own place - a very nice apartment away from family - and the autonomy and sense of peace have certainly been nice.

Yea, that's why I started to drift away from partying and going to nightclubs. Just a bad environment overall. Used to get trashed every weekend with friends and only recently have I noticed where these choices where taking me. It was not down a path I wanted to go. That's why starting self-improvement was one of the best decisions of my life.

 

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[Two Dog]

Living in the same place for 50 years is called jail.

 

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[MTF]

Great post. My biggest regret is not moving out of the UK years ago before we had children.

You're lucky in the USA that you can move to a completely different climate but remain in the same country.

Over here it means moving countries and with that comes a lot of more hurdles to jump, like visas, language barriers etc.

Kids are 12 and 14 so we're staying put for now.

Could moving to southern England help? It won't be a completely different climate but at least you'd have slightly warmer and sunnier weather. Same for a place with better nature and more beautiful surroundings like Cornwall.

As for the kids, in Spain as well as Portugal there are many great international schools that would most likely be way better for your kids than the UK ones.

Also, Gibraltar could be an option, too. No visa and language barriers. Just tricky to live in such a small place.

 

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[EngineerThis]

Always hated Michigan.. You get 3 months of a very humid and hot summer, only 1 month of a beautiful fall, and the remaining is 8 months of depressing grey skies, rain, snow, and freezing temps... Not to mention the high taxes, horrible government, and THE ROADS AND SALT that destroy cars almost immediately off the lot. So! Finally, my wife and I finished building our motorhome, and headed south! We love it down here in TN, the weather is so nice as are the people. You get way more land for the $, Gas is almost half the price for some reason, love the scenery, and we are loving it!!! We left the comfort of my parent's driveway, but we've grown so much closer, and we've been so much more optimistic about the future since we finally took the leap! (Also riding the motorcycle in December with sunny days kicks a$$)