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GOLD! THIS is why you are STUCK.

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AroundTheWorld

AroundTheWorld

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Usually people get stuck because they're living in the past most of the time....
... Otherwise they're caught in the future wasting time and day dreaming. It's pretty much that simple.
THIS! Yes. This is absolutely true! Rep + to you!

Most negative emotions can be traced back to either living in the past or living in the future.

Angry?
Bitter?
Sad?
Resentful?

This may mean you are dwelling on some past event. That event is continuing to "own" you because you haven't been able to let it go.

Worried?
Afraid?
Restless?
Unsatisfied?

This may mean you are "living" in some idea of a future event or state of being.

If this is your reason for being STUCK.... then learning to meditate can be a huge help.
If it is the PAST you are stuck in, then learning about / practicing forgiveness can also be a huge help.
 

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Boo Blizzi

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Are you apart of the problem? Or part of the solution? I don't see any recent contributions from you. Forums are mostly take with little give. The people complaining are usually the takers. They expect all give from the givers and when the givers don't feel respected, or their advice is ignored (not even a click thanks) or when their shit is stolen, they leave. Forums are like mini-socialist experiments... once everyone sits on the side of TAKE and there is no one left to GIVE, they die.
I haven't contributed much here because I have been off executing my own processes and businesses. I have varied interest and spending time on forums is time that can be spent launching a new campaign, or recording in the studio, or looking for an investment property.


Money didn't change me, the process changed me. Money was the result of that process. I've been an entrepreneur my entire life. It's in my DNA and my character. And half of that life, I've been broke.
I know it's taboo around here to disagree with you, cuz this is your playground, but... I know you didn't buy your Lambo with "process", you bought it with money.

I've had a similar conversation with 50 cent a while back. And you know what he said... "You damn right the money changed me. It makes people look at me different -- and that's power. If I went through all the shit I went through to make it in this game, and dropped an album that didn't sell, do you think people would love me or hate me as much as they do? Do you think they would listen when I speak? If I didn't blow, do you think they would've cared that I got shot 9 times, locked up, and stabbed? Nobody would've gave a f#ck about me. I'd just be another nigg@ try'na get on."

So here's the point: Sure you've always been an entrepreneur, but once you were able to measure your progress with money, that changed you into an entrepreneur with the power to tell people "take the fastlane." And more importantly, the "money" is what makes them listen to you. Makes them believe you. It's the reason why I listen to chapters 29-37 of your audio book in my truck.

But trust me, if you had gone through your "process" and had nothing but a bag of grapes to show for it... we wouldn't be having this conversation on YOUR (money making) forum , about YOUR (money making) book. In the words of 50, you'd "...just be another nigg@ try'na get on."

Like most of the dudes here.

This is directly from your book:
"Some months I’d PROFIT more than $200,000. Yes, profit! A bad month was $100,000. I earned in two weeks what most people earned in an entire year. Wealth poured in and I was flying low on the radar . . . no fame. If you earned $200,000 every month, how would your life change?"
When you sold your company the first time around for 1.2 mil, you said:
"For the next few years I lived a life of laziness and gluttony. Sure, I worked a few hours a month, but mostly, I worked out, traveled, played video games, bought and raced fast cars, entertained myself with dating Web sites, gambled—I was free because I had a money tree that surrogated for my time and yielded a bountiful monthly harvest."

I don't recall any mentions of "process trees". And I know a person that is passionate about building a business is not "living a life of laziness and gluttony." That 1.2 changed you!

Anyway, I get it. You're a thought leader now and you have to say something more profound than: "find a niche, then put your head down and grind."

But I think that's accurate.

Btw, that's what 50 told me to do when I was just another nigg@ try'na get on. "Find your lane, Son. Then put your head down and grind hard. Don't look up till the world is screaming your name. That's when you know you came up."

But maybe that only applies to the rap game?
 
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Boo Blizzi

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Oh and in an attempt to post something useful for anyone that is looking to get unstuck, try these:

  • Instead of thinking about your whole project and getting overwhelmed. Break it down in to bite sized pieces and try to get a quick "small win." Maybe that means just installing WP on your server. Or picking up the phone to call on one sales prospect. That little win will give you momentum to move forward.
  • You could also try to time box your projects. Get a timer (on ur phone or whatever) and set it to 33:33 then let it go. Work on nothing else but the very first thing you need to do to move you in the direction of progress. Again it could be any of the simple actions mentioned above. When the time runs out, take a 5-10 minute break then reset the timer and do it again. After a while you will have momentum and work past the 33:33.
  • You could also try good old fashioned motivation. On my DVR I have CNBC Titans, The Men Who Built America, How I Made My Millions, Shark Tank, etc. On my ipod, I got Dan Kennedy, Gary Halbert, Frank Kern, Think and Grow Rich, Made to Stick and Switch (by Chip and Dan Heath), Blue Ocean Strategies, The Millionaire Fastlane, and more. When your feeling stuck... play any of this stuff and you will feel a boost. These successful men and women share your kindred entrepreneurial spirit and if you channel their energy you could be the next person we are talking about here.
  • This is something that worked for me in business twice. Give 110% effort to serving just handful of customers. If they liked your product or service, they will keep coming back... and you will have no time to be stuck!
Hope that helps someone.
 
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RogueInnovation

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Great post Around the world :)
Really it is terrific :)

The next step here I think, is asking, how do we be?
How do we flip this notion around?

MJ mentioned process "the process changed me", so we should note that
He also mentioned supporting those who give value without expecting to take all the time
He also mentioned, building habits, changing identity through how you mediate any forks/choices in the road

Process, supporting those who help, choosing new identity over easy.

These three things alone are some keys.


There are many nice people that want to learn to become entrepreneurs AND better people. It is tough to give them great advice from the get go. Tough to be expected to give give give. Tough to hold a position of authority when giving answers to people who need attention, can drain you of all your time, and only equal very mediocre results.

Ultimately it is up to each person to choose to move forwards, and because of this, sometimes people just need to be given a chance to get off on the right foot, so they can, with their inner strength choose the right paths and make their way forwards, as all who ever succeed have.

We (for our sanity) cannot always assume we can finish a newbies journey with one orientation
We can only strive to operate on principles that will see the supported fairly and not overcompensated for.


Personally, I like these three things in a new orientation
- Questions that help me show my value but don't let me run amok (stupid ego monster reigns supreme early on)
- Encouragement towards my deeper ideas (I would say this post of atw falls under that, same as icks thread, and others)
- Something to challenge myself on that will get me in the game (for me icks thread was a challenge)

Teething is a b#tch, and it can have long lasting effects on people, if they don't develop a healthy mutual respect with others who might share the journey.

Its tempting to not give room for newbies to win and earn your respect, but that is I believe the most right thing to do. Whilst as mj says, don't forget your biggest contributors, without them, you don't have any respect left to dole out to anyone.

So, big props to posts like this, thanks aroundtheworld, and also a heartfelt welcome and goodluck to all new and upcoming contributors (may you help those that follow and find freedom and success)

Nice post, it shed some light on the issue I felt
 
OP
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AroundTheWorld

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The next step here I think, is asking, how do we be?
I LOVE this question. And, I'm looking forward to hearing how other people answer it!

For me, it starts with living in the moment. This helps me become aware of myself and my values.... both the good and the bad. It also helps me become aware of the person I want to be... Clearing out the baggage of the past and worry (or dreams) of the future.

It is connecting with the deep values that you hold... maybe they have been passed down to you through family, maybe it is from experience, maybe it is from what ever religion you are... but it is tapping into what you believe to be "the meaning."

It is also coming to understand that I AM NOT A VICTIM. I am where I am because of the choices I've made.
And.... I have the power to make different choices in the future.

Really looking forward to hearing how other's answer this one!

Rep + to you, RogueInnovation
 

MJ DeMarco

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And I know a person that is passionate about building a business is not "living a life of laziness and gluttony."
That 1.2 changed you!
Actually it didn't. If I had to describe several negatives about me, negatives that I fight every single day, they would be laziness and gluttony. The $1.2M allowed me to be so. It made me more of what I was already fighting.
 

RogueInnovation

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laziness and gluttony. The $1.2M allowed me to be so
Its a b#tch.
I make subsistency in the laziest way I think anyone has ever achieved. I could just blob my way through life now, jackpot :/ (ahem).

But you aren't lazy, you are helping people, using your mind to help unsnag people. You deserve the free time to focus on that, and you afforded that by succeeding in a business apart from that.

I used to get annoyed that I couldn't just spend my life helpin people, that I had to learn business irregardless of my success in all other fields of my life (made me bitter).
But now I realise, business doesn't create that problem, its universal.

We are all harassed outside our comfort zones to improve ourselves. Its so BS
How we face it is up to us though.
You don't need the shark at your back to swim fast
You just need to validate your own actions by being as true as possible to your goals
 

elliot

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This is great, thanks for writing.

Just want to add though that workplaces can change your personality and cause you to be the person you do not want to be because they can restrict your life and what you want in life which for me will always be freedom from working 5 out of 7 days a week.
 

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IceCreamKid

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Just want to add though that workplaces can change your personality and cause you to be the person you do not want to be because they can restrict your life and what you want in life which for me will always be freedom from working 5 out of 7 days a week.
I may be wrong on this assumption, but I think what ATW meant when she said "Be who you want to be" was that you should DECIDE to move towards that certain goal which you may have.

For example, pretend a rat racer decided, "I want to be an entrepreneur".

The next question he should ask is, "What do I have to do to get there? Ok since I have a 9-5 gig, I must wake up a little bit earlier each day to work on my project."

The person who hasn't truly DECIDED "I want to be an entrepreneur" would probably say "I want to be an entrepreneur, but....."

There will always be a reason NOT to do something, but when you just DECIDE that THIS IS IT then you experience an interesting change in how you operate.

Restrictions irritate the heck out of me. I can't stand hearing that something cannot be done. Instead of saying, "I can't get X because of Y, why not ask what do I have to do in order to get X?"

Holy shnykies, the world suddenly becomes an abundant place with a little tweaking in the head. It may be a bit of a rocky road flavor to get there, but eventually we can all be partying in the land of rainbow sherbet.
 
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Mike Kavanagh

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I was going to make a thread on what the military does to change personalities and break bad habits.
I'll just quickly list them here, in order:
  • Take you away from people who support your old habits and lifestyle
  • Change your attire completely
  • Change your sleeping habits
  • Change your exercise routine
  • Change your eating habits
  • Change your thought patterns
Of course there is a lot more things they do that is good for changing people. After two months of breaking down the old you and building up the soldier, you can see a huge difference.
 

IceCreamKid

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Take you away from people who support your old habits and lifestyle
Change your attire completely
Change your sleeping habits
Change your exercise routine
Change your eating habits
Change your thought patterns
Mike, you've got my interest peaked with this one. Would you mind expanding a bit on a few of these?

What do they do to your attire that causes the mindset shift? For sleeping, do they have you sleep more hours or less and what time? What do they change about your thought patterns how do they do it?

I feel like a self-help book can be written on this stuff. Everyone knows the military is very effective at shaping people up.
 

Mattie

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While I do agree on most points with military and have read some of the books, I also have to say soldiers don't have the right mindset always when they come out. Many suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. Become alcoholics and substance abuse. Yes their mindset changes, but not necessarily a positive one.

I've had lots of military men in my family for generations. While I may be patriotic and support the troops for that reason, I also know the price they pay mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I dated a marine once too, and when he got out it wasn't a positive experience. So yes they do get brain washed to be fighting machines.
 

Rawr

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Really looking forward to hearing how other's answer this one!

I know what's been effective for me and I know Warren Buffet recommends it too:

Think of people you admire, and list the specific qualities you admire. Then work to get more of those qualities in yourself.

I was always good at going "aha" when I noticed that I liked a way someone carried themselves in some regard - be it sticking to the grind no matter what, or telling the truth no matter what, or something else. Then I'd incorporate that behavior, and honestly I think it sticks if you just follow through with it.


ON MJ's point about laziness - read this somewhere before as advice given to a guy who was spiraling down:


At some point, when you get up from the floor, you gonna start running and getting lost in your work. It will be to escape from the thought that's going to eat you alive - what stopped you all those years from getting a job?(creating a fastlane biz) What was so freaking scary? You are going to curse yourself for being so pathetic. Why couldn't you do this earlier?

Why is everything that's so hard now will be so easy later, even the stuff that seems impossible now?

the secret is easy.

It is hard to do things, which you don't have to do. When you have no choice - everything, absolutely everything is easy.

You will understand that lack of choice and the understanding of your ACTUAL desires will make everything easy, even stuff that seemed impossible.

You mistakenly believed that something was going to save you. Now you'll understand you have to climb up yourself.


Jerry seinfeld says "success is the biggest enemy of comedians." I agree, when you have some income coming in passively, it is easy to say "ahh ill scale back"; rather then blast forward..at least IMO. That's why there needs to be a reward system in place... to keep you pushing.
 

MJ DeMarco

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80+ likes on OP. Requesting gold status.
Funny, I was going to mark it GOLD about 10 minutes after it was posted. At that point, it was just a few likes and comments-- kinda wanted to see if it resonated with the forum or not -- that fact is, it wouldn't have mattered as I would have marked it GOLD with 10 likes vs 80. Happy that the forum saw value in it.
 

Joe Cassandra

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James Altucher expands on much of what is said in his AMA here on the forum
https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/fastlane-ama-james-altucher-startups-publishing-bloggin-more.47309/

And on his site and podcast.

He expands on BE that @AroundTheWorld mentions, you need to work on yourself before you start your path to success.

You need to be healthy:

1) Physically: Dont' eat crap, exercise
2) Emotional: Have fun, smile (it's good for you), cut out negative people in your life
3) Mentally: Test your mind, stretch it. James writes 10 ideas a day. For myself, I'm always combining things to create new things. The other day I thought of combining cologne and cars, perfume for cars when they drive by you. Terrible idea, but it gets your mind going and sharp.
4)Spritual: Doesn't need to mean religion, it can mean meditating (calming the mind) , being generous, being grateful.

After all of these are in order, moving on to Do will be much easier and have a higher success rate.
 
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Iwokeup

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Mike, you've got my interest peaked with this one. Would you mind expanding a bit on a few of these?

What do they do to your attire that causes the mindset shift? For sleeping, do they have you sleep more hours or less and what time? What do they change about your thought patterns how do they do it?

I feel like a self-help book can be written on this stuff. Everyone knows the military is very effective at shaping people up.
Well, the Marine Corps basically breaks you down, and tells you, shows you, and then makes you do incredibly difficult and frightening things (excellently!) that you never thought possible. It's the process at work and it works wonders. Rawr!!

Of course you have to want to be a Marine in the first place and you have to want the challenge, even if it scares the crud out of you (like it did me).

And now that I think of it, I met a ton of "WannaMarines" in my days. You know, "Well I was gonna join the Marines but...." Kind of like around here.

Has anyone ever met a Marine? Cocky bastards, right? :D

"From the Halls of Montezuma, to the Shores of Tripoli...."
 

Formless

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I am in the middle of an environmental overhaul. You know, eat different, train different, sit different, turn on a different lamp, and allow my mind to associate all these new things with a 'new and improved me.' Changes aren't as much as I'd like them to be because I can't move houses for 3 more months (I probably could if I REALLY put my mind to it, who could stop me) so I'm doing what I can with what I've got.

When I gain traction I'll write a Tl;Dr about it.
 

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IceCreamKid

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Has anyone ever met a Marine? Cocky bastards, right? :D
lol you probably won't believe me, but I've actually never met a Marine in my life. The Bay Area is a different society in its own little world. The majority here don't know how to do handyman work and are married to their office desk job.

We have a different breed of cocky bastards here. Being incredibly busy with work in the Bay Area is seen as a badge of honor so if you're that guy working 80 hours a week then you're an amazing hero in the eyes of your fellow Silicon Valley tech co-workers.
 

Iwokeup

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lol you probably won't believe me, but I've actually never met a Marine in my life. The Bay Area is a different society in its own little world. The majority here don't know how to do handyman work and are married to their office desk job.

We have a different breed of cocky bastards here. Being incredibly busy with work in the Bay Area is seen as a badge of honor so if you're that guy working 80 hours a week then you're an amazing hero in the eyes of your fellow Silicon Valley tech co-workers.
Funny. I've always wondered why working so much is considered a badge of honor anywhere. If it's 80h/week for physician residency, that's one thing. But for most every other job it makes me wonder if they couldn't be working smarter instead and getting more sleep.
 

IceCreamKid

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it makes me wonder if they couldn't be working smarter instead and getting more sleep.
For the most part, people are doing the best that they can with the lessons and knowledge they have been handed in life. Some of us were lucky enough to grow up in privileged homes where we were taught excellent lessons while others grew up in broken homes with a negative environment. This topic hurts me deeply because the kid had no say in what his environment would be, but often ends up blaming himself for all the negativity. They end up getting haunted with burning questions in their mind like, "Why would daddy leave me? Was I not good enough for my own dad? If I'm not good enough for my own flesh and blood then I must not be good enough for anybody". It has a huge impact on their character years down the road.

One of the most eye opening experiences of my life was when I was doing community service tutoring kids and helping them create their own vision boards. The kids who grew up in a poor background ended up creating vision boards consisting of them wanting to learn how to put on makeup well and style their own hair. Those who grew up in a wealthy background created vision boards where they looked like a scientist, doctor, dentist, astronaut, lawyer, etc.

So back to the OP's theme: Who do you want to BE?

That's a very tough question, especially if someone had a negative childhood experience.

I'm 28 and I still don't know exactly who I want to be other than that my ultimate end goal is apartment investing and to create some kind of community where people feel free to express themselves in an environment where they are fully accepted as they are.
 
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Iwokeup

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Haha. You probably won't know what you want to be, completely, ever. It's a fact of life. ;)

I've had my own progression and now I just want to have fun, serve others (making life easier and better for them), and in the process help my family and friends make some really good money ===> Freedom.
 

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This is the playground for all of us. You are allowed to disagree with anyone. The reason for the forums is to discuss.
Yeah I'll disagree just for fun sometimes.... it goes over pretty well.
 

Mike Kavanagh

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Mike, you've got my interest peaked with this one. Would you mind expanding a bit on a few of these?

What do they do to your attire that causes the mindset shift? For sleeping, do they have you sleep more hours or less and what time? What do they change about your thought patterns how do they do it?

I feel like a self-help book can be written on this stuff. Everyone knows the military is very effective at shaping people up.
For attire it's hard to explain. I'd say dress down in basketball shorts and a tee shirt one day or clothes you'd paint in. Don't put anything else on. Record what you did.

Then the day after that, get up and dress extremely well right away. Make sure you look super crisp. Get a haircut if you need to. Record what you did that day.

Simple changes like that can cause major differences in attitude.
The military took kids(18), mostly from low-income areas, gave them a skin-tight haircut, custom-tailored uniforms and some shiny shoes.

Imagine me going from a long haired skater who's shoes were always torn up and holes in my jeans and shirts to prim and proper.

If it wasn't for ROTC I'd be in jail with the crowd I hung with.
(Disclaimer: I didn't get to go full military, health-issues, would of been a lieutenant after boot-camp but wasn't allowed to go on)

Sleep is a different thing.
Go a day or two with out sleeping. You'll go through a range of emotions. Angry, bored, delirious.
In boot-camp some day's you'll wake up at 3 am and go for a 3 mile run. Other days you could be up at 5am - 7am.
You'll never know when need to get up. Nothing like a seven mile loaded hike at 5am. Also if you don't go to bed at 9pm you'll, according to Murphey's Law, will absolutely hate life the next morning.

In the Marine corp crucible, you are supposedly only able to get 3 hours of sleep for a whole week. It's a live combat simulation.

As for thought patterns a number of changes happen. They teach you how to kill. How to survive intense life-or-death situations. How to talk to superiors. Hell it even taught me how not to be shy around women.
All while screaming in your face.

They use to be allowed to get physical with you. Not anymore though.

This supposedly still happens in the Russian army
They want you to be there for your peers when shit hits the fan.

The best way to observe this is go to your local mall food court and watch for groups of teenage boys chasing girls and acting stupid. Now imagine that you teach them how to fight, shoot, survive and be civil in public. That is what boot-camp is like.

But that is being fueled by an environment of 17-24 year old boys. While the end goal isn't always the same the main goal is. To serve our countries needs.

I'm sure there are other people here who could describe this better than me.
 

Mike Kavanagh

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Has anyone ever met a Marine? Cocky bastards, right?
My current boss is a former Force Recon Marine corp officer. I don't know if this is true but I respect everything that man says even if I don't agree with it.
He's a cocky bastard though. He wont even let me flirt around at work but he sure as hell gets to.

I also have to say soldiers don't have the right mindset always when they come out. Many suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. Become alcoholics and substance abuse. Yes their mindset changes, but not necessarily a positive one.

I also know the price they pay mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I dated a marine once too, and when he got out it wasn't a positive experience. So yes they do get brain washed to be fighting machines.
Well they aren't trained for civilian life. Most of the people I know who went in are lifers. PTSD can be caused by many things. Mostly shooting someone or being shot at causes.

If you don't feel anything for killing someone, you are a psychopath. Plain and simple.
The crack sound that flys overhead when someone is shooting your way is enough noise to make you poop yourself.

Seen the movie Full Metal Jacket about the Vietnam war? Everything in that movie is accurate.

I work with a lot of former military and spooks. They all have some great stories about things but you can see that they mentally detach from the guy in the story.

One guy use to have nightmares about "relocating" villages. Another speaks of the horrors of the "enemy" using children as soldiers.

This shit still goes on to this day. If that doesn't piss you off or make you feel bad then you are not accepting reality.

Like our Drill Instructor said, "Once your out in the civilian world you'll hate life. People out there are lazy, narcissistic and carefree. You'll see when you get out. If you get out."

To be honest he was right.
 

SteveO

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but I've actually never met a Marine in my life
I was a marine. I enlisted in 1975 after getting kicked out of a couple of high schools. My dad signed for me to go in at the age of 17.

Many of the people that were in there were fresh out of Vietnam. Moral was low and those of us just coming in seemed to be resented. I got kicked out of school for fighting and that continued in the marines. You had no choice but to defend yourself in there. The best defense was offense. Even if you got your a$$ kicked you had better take it like a man.

I refuse to be told what to do. This gave me a lot of trouble. I ended up getting a bad conduct discharge. I could not stand the people in charge! They were irrational and sadistic.
 

SteveO

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Well, the Marine Corps basically breaks you down, and tells you, shows you, and then makes you do incredibly difficult and frightening things (excellently!) that you never thought possible. It's the process at work and it works wonders.
This is a fact. The process works wonders for their benefit.
 

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