Roast my Email (or SMS/cold call script etc)

[Paul David]

I thought it might be useful for those of us who do cold outreach to have a roast my outreach content thread.

We could post our content here and get some feedback from the business owners in the group on whether they liked it, hated it or offer advice on what they'd change.

I'll start.

Here's one I'm using for Email and SMS. (this is sent after I've confirmed I'm speaking to business owner)


"Noticed you had 13 Google reviews - it looks like a lot of customers don't leave a review.

Built an app that might help you become the obvious choice in Manchester. Uses AI to automatically collect REAL customer reviews, handles responses, and displays your glowing testimonials on social media.

Helped Emperor Oven Cleaning get 24 reviews in just 7 days.

Interested in a trial?"

 

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[Stargazer]

Here's one I'm using for Email and SMS. (this is sent after I've confirmed I'm speaking to business owner)


"Noticed you had 13 Google reviews - it looks like a lot of customers don't leave a review.

Built an app that might help you become the obvious choice in Manchester. Uses AI to automatically collect REAL customer reviews, handles responses, and displays your glowing testimonials on social media.

Helped Emperor Oven Cleaning get 24 reviews in just 7 days.

Interested in a trial?"

I like your short and sweet message.

I can see it as an initial prospecting email but you have written that you send this after you have been speaking to the customer.

So how come you didn't just bring this up as a 'By the way...' at the end of that converstaion?

It doesn't read like a follow up email if you see what I mean?

Dan

Dan

 

[ChrisStanton]

I think these days it is not that effective anymore. Most of the people don't eve pick up the phone from unknown numbers

Everyone says that yet me, and tons of other people, successfully cold outreaching and cold calling everyday day.

You have to know how to leave a voicemail that inspires intrigue and curiosity so they call back or pick up next time you call.

 

[Paul David]

I like your short and sweet message.

I can see it as an initial prospecting email but you have written that you send this after you have been speaking to the customer.

So how come you didn't just bring this up as a 'By the way...' at the end of that converstaion?

It doesn't read like a follow up email if you see what I mean?

Dan

Dan

This isn't a follow up email, its a an initial one. I haven't previously spoken to the lead.

 

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[GuestR401x3]

I thought it might be useful for those of us who do cold outreach to have a roast my outreach content thread.

We could post our content here and get some feedback from the business owners in the group on whether they liked it, hated it or offer advice on what they'd change.

I'll start.

Here's one I'm using for Email and SMS. (this is sent after I've confirmed I'm speaking to business owner)


"Noticed you had 13 Google reviews - it looks like a lot of customers don't leave a review.

Built an app that might help you become the obvious choice in Manchester. Uses AI to automatically collect REAL customer reviews, handles responses, and displays your glowing testimonials on social media.

Helped Emperor Oven Cleaning get 24 reviews in just 7 days.

Interested in a trial?"

It sounds fake. Use more natural human language, also using the phrase "it looks like a lot of customers don't leave a review" isn't that great. I would recommend changing that to "Imagine if you had more and higher star reviews than all your competitors. This would result in a lot more leads and give you an opportunity to raise your prices without losing deals."

For the second sentence I don't care how you get the reviews I just want to know you can get them for me, so trash the sentence telling me how you get the leads and make your testimonial longer.

And then give a more descriptive call to action like "Interested in testing this tool out for 60 days free?".

 

[Paul David]

It sounds fake. Use more natural human language, also using the phrase "it looks like a lot of customers don't leave a review" isn't that great. I would recommend changing that to "Imagine if you had more and higher star reviews than all your competitors. This would result in a lot more leads and give you an opportunity to raise your prices without losing deals."

For the second sentence I don't care how you get the reviews I just want to know you can get them for me, so trash the sentence telling me how you get the leads and make your testimonial longer.

And then give a more descriptive call to action like "Interested in testing this tool out for 60 days free?".

Thanks for feedback.

The reason why I included how we get the reviews is because these people are bombarded with pakistanis and indians offering them fake reviews so it can be difficult to ensure this isn't met with the same distaste.

I agree with what you said about the ditching looks like a lot of customers don't leave a review.