Passion or a Paycheck?

[MJ DeMarco]

A dear friend of mine is a casualty of the economic downturn, and as a result, has chosen to follow a job to Houston.

She's mentioned to me that she isn't looking forward to it, and isn't very fond of her new city she will call home. I've known this person for a long time and she has made it clear what her passions are ... 1) To live near (or on) the ocean and 2) To get married. Yet, when it comes down to "life" -- instead of choosing to pursue her passions, she chose to pursue a paycheck.

When I brought this to her attention, she replied with "I'm not in the position you are."

Think about that for a moment. "I'm not in the position you are". Why is that? Why am I in "my position"? To this statement I retorted "The reason why I'm in my position TODAY is because of the decisions I made YESTERDAY. I took a chance, got uncomfortable, and relentlessly pursued my passions -- I was willing to do whatever it took to get there."

In other words, I was willing get down-and-dirty to give my dream a chance -- the irony is, I'm in my position NOW because of my choices in the PAST. I was willing to FOLLOW MY PASSION and do whatever it took to get to them -- whether it be mopping floors or delivering pizza. I put my passions first, not a paycheck and not some temporary comforts!

For my friend, she had many decisions available to her -- 2 of which gave her passions a chance (stay in Phoenix or move to Southern Cal) yet instead, she chose the safety and comfort of a job in a city she doesn't like. You see, your passion for your dreams must supersede the toil of pursuing them -- the fear of working the rat race for 50 years has to be scarier than the thought of the hard work trying to escape it -- for my friend, waiting tables in Southern California was too steep a price to give her passion a chance -- working a crappy job in Phoenix was too steep a price ... instead she chose the one decision that promised mediocre comfort -- a paycheck -- while simultaneously forsaking her passions and her dreams.

My point is, many of us are willing to forgo our passions in lieu of paycheck and some minimal comfort. We choose mediocre comfort NOW instead of meteoric comfort LATER. For my friend, she weighted the price of pursuit and sacrifice as too steep and too uncomfortable ... if you want a life that is extraordinary, you are going to need to get uncomfortable.

The question is, how uncomfortable are you willing to get to realize your dream?
Or will the safety and comfort of a paycheck always win the battle for your mind?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[^eagle^]

Actually Houston is close to Galveston which IS on the ocean. Kiva is nice. So tell her to stop bitching and start dreaming.

Katy is nice too BTW. Just not on the ocean. A sprawling suburb of houston without the crime.

Houston is the fourth largest city in the US. Lots of opprtunity.

 

[biophase]

Just got back from a 3 day camping trip at Havasu Falls in the Grand Canyon. Check out this picture below, incredible. Guess what, I asked some people to come with and I got the same reaction. "Well I'm not in the same place as you, you can do that because you have money" or "You don't have to worry about money." Well I do need care about money and I do work, but I choose to make my time flexible by changing my line of work a few years ago.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Guess what, I asked some people to come with and I got the same reaction.

Hey wait, you didn't ask me!? Ahhhhh I get it, I'm good enough to hit you in from 3rd base, but not good enough for camping. :smash: Just kidding buddy!!! :smxF:

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[biophase]

Hey wait, you didn't ask me!? Ahhhhh I get it, I'm good enough to hit you in from 3rd base, but not good enough for camping. :smash: Just kidding buddy!!! :smxF:

Based on your reaction to my Mt. Kilimanjaro story :coco:, I didn't think you wanted to hike 30 miles in 3 days and camp in 40 degree nights.

 

[Pinnacle]

The question is, how uncomfortable are you willing to get to realize your dream?
Or will the safety and comfort of a paycheck always win the battle for your mind?

It depends on whether or not you have a significant other and what his/her feeling is about it. We could talk about the "If I was single...." scenario until we were blue in the face. I've done that countless times. She's on board with me doing whatever it takes as long as I keep our bills paid. Even if I amass enough cash to cover 2-3 months worth of expenses and then quit my job, she has enough confidence in my abilities that I can establish a new reliable income stream within that period. Even if I was single, it would be in my best interest to have that safety net, anyway. :smug2:

 

[MJ DeMarco]

It depends on whether or not you have a significant other and what his/her feeling is about it.

The person in question is single with no dependents.

Based on your reaction to my Mt. Kilimanjaro story :coco:, I didn't think you wanted to hike 30 miles in 3 days and camp in 40 degree nights.

Yea, I'm more of "chillin on Laguna Beach" kinda guy. I'm taking reservations!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[TaxGuy]

First post in a while, I guess I've been ashamed of my lack of progress/action, however, this thread piqued my interest as I feel my biggest barrier is myself in not having the life I want, even though looking back I still have lived one hell of a life so far in just 26 years

As far as what's definite- will be getting married June 5th and will be moving to Phoenix in the Fall(exact date still TBD). As far as sacrifices... have already sold my car and bike and have an offer on the house, waiting for bank approval. Trying to get rid of all the material/emotional clutter at the moment so that I can focus and achieve as MJ and Kenric have done and looking forward to someday soon going on some camping trips and drive in both of you with a 3-run bomb

 

[Icy]

I think the problem is realizing the difference between passion (what I consider "needing") and wanting. Too few people know what they're passionate about and far too many people focus on wants.

Wants develop with outside influence and have little push to chase them. If an opportunity presents itself then sure the person will take it, but not at the risk of their comfort. Now, perhaps I'm completely off base (and feel free to correct me), but chances are your friend merely wants to live by the ocean. I mean, who the hell wouldn't with the beauty of it you see in pictures and on tv. Truth be told, I want to live on the beach too, but I assure you I never will unless some opportunity knocks on my door. I merely want it, not "need" it.

Passion though, this just comes from within. It hits you and it's worth risking everything for. People don't wait for this, because waiting for it is much more risky than to give everything for it. Your happiness depends on giving your absolute best effort on it. Now, idk about the consequence of giving it your best effort and not achieving (I'm only 20 and still am "mid-race" to achieving my ultimate goal for my passion), but I think (not from experience!) that I would be perfectly ok if I fail, but know I gave it everything I could.

Out of curiosity for those that have achieved their ultimate goal for their passion I have a few questions:


For your passion:
Were you willing to risk pretty much anything in order to achieve it? Eat ramen noodles for months? Sleep a few hours a night and get back up and work again? Move to a new state\country to a place that has the facilities to advance with?

For what you want:
Would you go through that stuff above (assuming things like ramen noodles would help, haha) in order to achieve your "perfect body"? Probably not even though you want it, right? Perhaps this is a bad example, but think of something you just want and answer if you'd go through all that for it.

Sorry if it doesn't make much sense, but I tried to condense it and also get the point across. If this doesn't make sense though and someone's actually interested let me know and I'll elaborate.

 

[Pinnacle]

In this case, of course I would easily endure temporary hardship for infinite comfort. That is a no-brainer. How do you live worse than a rat-racer? I'm surrounded by them at work. People who poke their chests out because they've been with the company for 10 years or more. Doing victory laps because its "Friday"....TGIF!!! Ooooooo....how thrilling. :coffee:

Signing up for employee benefits like the company owes it to them: there was a time when employee benefits were a luxury. Looking forward to my next vacation day instead of my super early retirement. To think that people do this for YEARS of their life. When I took this job, I was thinking in terms of months, not years. I still am. If not for the Miss', I would've been able to quit two months after being hired.

I earned my way into this, I have to earn my way out of it.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[wildambitions]

PhxMJ - maybe your friend going to Houston IS the sacrifice that she is making temporarily to be able to someday get married and live by the ocean. Although knowing you, this is doubtful - I am just looking at an alternative perspective.

A high paying job is not always for comfort but could be for convenience. Convenience of time while working or convenience of being able to pay things off twice as fast... you get the idea. One thing regarding a high paying job though - they ARE harder to make a jump from when making the transition.

^eagle^ I like that attitude and that is certainly what I would be doing IF I chose to make the move in the first place. You only have what is front of you at the moment so better quit griping and go with it, learn and move on.

Biophase - When people find themselves making poor decisions they will typically find an excuse as to why they are there instead of taking any action to move from where they are toward where they want to be.

Pinnacle - no doubt the ones that are around us do influence or at least have some influence on what we choose to do or not do. The key here though is not using them as an excuse and knowing that sometimes the sacrifice that is made is choosing to put your personal passions on hold or to move toward them slowly instead of head on full blown balls on fast forward. It is still a personal choice.

vr4playa - Nice to hear you are following a plan. Sorry I will miss the festivities in June.

icy - I have not achieved my ultimate goal - and if I were to get close, I would likely set another. I look at needs and wants almost exactly the opposite of your first sentence. My needs are the basics (food and shelter and paying bills) and my passions are my wants, dreams and desires. At the same time I think I see what you are saying. I personally would eat Ramen (though not a favorite) and get less sleep to get where I want to go, BUT my family is not willing and therefore I choose to meet their needs before my own wants. And my family is a higher priority for me than my dreams and desires. As far as my surroundings, I adapt to them and always find a way to gain something personally for myself from them. I am SO far from perfect that anything I can add to myself is an improvement and can move me toward who I want to become.

 

[Bobo]

This one gets dicey. For a single person without a lot of commitments there are more choices.

I recently was a victim of the economic downturn, 14 months after Jill was similarly benched. I have some plans I would like to pursue and still plan to pursue but my priority was to get my a$$ employed pronto. Today I got on a plane at 5am, flew across the country and put in a 12 hour day doing something I don't have a great passion for but I am good enough at that someone is willing to pay me a buck and a half each year to go do.

Now is that a complaint? Nope. I have a ton of responsibility but that's because I tend to accumulate it willingly and am grateful for it. It motivates me. My girls WILL be taken care of or I will die trying.

Passions? Yeah, I make time for them, sometimes it takes chronological wizardry and limited sleep but I make me time out of thin air as long as I first do the have-to stuff that I willingly signed up for.

Security can be a passion. Some folks who make 'good' money are more afraid of going back to zero than they are excited about getting to rich... I am one of those, Jill is the opposite so it makes life interesting.

....I figure that either her brilliance and ambition will hit big or worse case, my slogging along and working on my ideas as time permits passionate endeavors will result in a reasonably comfortable though less luxurious lifestyle.

I would the 25 year old kids who work for me to think very hard about accumulating responsibilities... but like Clooney in 'Up in the Air' I ran the freedom/responsibility question through my head and came down on the side of success just would not equal happiness for me unless I have my girls, my dogs, my bird.... to come home to.

Am I saying that paycheck is more important than passion for everyone or that it should be? Nope, I am just saying that if you make that calculation and come down on the side of paycheck for well thought out, consciously decided reasons then don't kick your own a$$ over it.

Fortunately, I am happy. If I wasn't I'd change things but I want what I got... my passion is safety. I love taking risks, as long as they are taken in a carefully controlled laboratory setting with full safety measures in place. I guess my passion is to keep the promises I've made but I will tell you this - I look in the mirror at night and think "Shit, you got old... but you're OK"

 

[Cat Man Du]

Bobo said:

I guess my passion is to keep the promises I've made [B[]but I will tell you this - I look in the mirror at night and think "Shit, you got old... but you're OK"
************************************************************************************

THAT'S THE DEFINITION OF A MAN

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[WestCoast]

you know, balance is always hard in life. I struggle with that daily at this point.

However, I am looking at it from this perspective. The suffering/working for a paycheck/working 13 hour days --> that's all ok IF IT IS FURTHERING YOUR GOALS

Even if you have a 9-5 job for $10/hr, if your goal is saving money to start a business, or to get the kid through college, or whatever, then THAT is worthy.


The people I can't understand or figure out, are the ones who do all that suffering, grinding and working a job, ...... but that's it. They are just muddling from day to day to get by... with no greater motivation.


So, my take is: If you are truly working on furthering your life goals, then DO WHATEVER IT TAKES - and don't worry about anyone judging you, you are doing your own thing.

If you aren't working for a greater calling towards success - think about why not.

 

[eloise]

Life is full of uncomfortable turns, but in order to get to where your dreams are you must go through the brick wall. You have to follow your dreams or you will end up very unhappy and mad at yourself. I almost gave up on my dream, but then I thought it can't hurt to try, all that can happen is it doen't work and then I move on to the next idea. No loss in trying something, but you definately loose if you don't try.