Lex DeVille's - Raw Review Corner

[Lex DeVille]

Hey guys,

Getting a pretty steady flow of pm's for copywriting and profile reviews and thought it might be helpful if the feedback was shared. This way you can start to see common wins and mistakes and improve your own writing and skills.

And thus, the Raw Review Corner was born.

Warning - this first episode has some low-qual parts. Running on a couple hours sleep & didn't have the energy to set all the lights and stuff up.
Future vids will be HD.

How It Works:

• If you have something you want me to review, or a question that might be helpful for a lot of people, send me a PM.

• I'll take the request (as soon as I can) and do an honest review or give an honest response in video.

• Your info will be anonymous unless you say it's okay to reveal it.

• I'll post the video in this thread so everyone has access and can check it out without leaving the forum.

What You Should Know

• These videos are raw - meaning unfiltered (I'll edit for anonymity of course), but it's my opinion & anything goes.

• My setup is in a corner

• I don't have time for every question every day, but I'll do my best to respond as soon as possible.

• It doesn't have to be copywriting or upwork profiles. If you need something else reviewed that's a good fit for this thread, fire away.

• It doesn't have to be copywriting questions. If you have a question that lots of people need an answer to and you think I'm the right person to give you that answer, ask away.

Episode 1

The first episode may suck a little.

Running on empty & didn't do proper setup.

If I seem foggy that's why. That's also why it's not in HD.

Anyway, that's all I've got. Hit me up with questions & requests & have a happy Halloween!

P.S. If you're wondering if you should try it - just remember, the feedback you get helps other people learn too. And that's what it's all about.

 

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[Lex DeVille]

How To Go To Town & Take Real Action & Meet People & Get Things Moving
Custom Video For @Trevor Chaumont
​

Not picking on you. Your post just happened to be the first one I clicked this morning, and it shows a common challenge new entrepreneurs face. It's called action-faking and it happens to the best of us.

Interestingly enough, I believe I've found my first stepping stone.


I've been doing research all day on professional window cleaning. There are maybe five window cleaning services in my city, and I've never heard of any of them. My friends haven't heard of them. A small business owner I know has never heard of any of them. This could be my entry.

I can start up with very little money and basic materials. Hustle my service, let the results do the talking. Make some calls, emails, and even business cards. I have the resources to print my own. I'm excited at the thought of this. My area is expecting a huge population boom as I've previously said, and many houses are being built. There's a door asking for my foot.

​

Click here for Trevor's thread.

So this morning I took my happy a$$ into town and met people and got some info for you.
Don't kid yourself I benefit from this too.

(Somehow my outro got cut off, so the vid just ends, but I wrote my thoughts below anyway.)

Not much planning. Sometimes you just gotta take action and let things fall into place.

Here's what happened:

1. Learned that a lot of business owners aren't in the office yet at 8 am (in my town.)
2. Learned that some companies don't have the authority to make these decisions at the local level, so they may be a waste of time.
3. Learned that window cleaning isn't something people need often so you'd need a lot of clients.
4. Learned when business owners for specific places are likely to be in.
5. Made a bunch of new connections with people I didn't know before.
6. Refined my approach after every single business and got a little better at finding things to ask.
7. Failed miserably at my first pitch, but still got key information (not necessarily about windows).
8. Learned that when I don't hide my camera people get real defensive real fast!
9. Learned I should be more clear about my plan of action & questions I want to ask.
10. In the last business (one not in the video per their request) I spent like 15-20 minutes chatting and left with a private cell number for a local influencer (won't find that on Google...)
11. Discovered realtors may not be as much of a direct opportunity as I originally thought.
12. Discovered there may still be opportunity to work together with realtors if you find a way to benefit both of you since they can refer you to home sellers who are prepping their houses for sale.
13. Found out window cleaning service isn't something people care much about here, and isn't a big issue for the businesses I visited.

What I failed at:

1. I didn't find out specific info about what the 3 other window cleaning companies charge.
2. I was pretty scattered, until I warmed up after meeting several people.
3. It never really got easier or less scary, but I did get better.
4. No clearly defined outcome = hard to pinpoint my successes (when I accomplished what I set out to accomplish)

What I felt:

• Nervous
• Anxious
• Tense
• Uncertain
• Scared
• Self-conscious
• Fearful
• Flighty
• Self-Doubt

When push comes to shove, I set out to do a thing and I did it.

Maybe you can do it better.

Whatever you do, focus on making it valuable for the other person, and in the end...

Just do it.

 

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[Lex DeVille]

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie...

This one's a bit of a rant, and it only applies to some of you.

Hope it's articulated right, because I don't want to scare off anyone who comes with good intentions.

Look guys, I truly don't mind helping out, but that doesn't mean there aren't lines that shouldn't be crossed.

I want you to succeed, but just like a baby bird, at some point you gotta spread your wings and try to fly.

Some of you do that, and to those who do, I'm truly proud of you for the efforts you make.

For the rest who take shortcuts to cut 10 years off their Fastlane process...

...you'll learn (or maybe you won't) in 10 years when you're still trying to figure out how to use shortcuts to get ahead...

Sucks this video needed to be made, because there's copy reviews waiting in que.

But you asked for it, and you got it.

P.S. Yes, I know a word snuck in over the intro section.

 

[Lex DeVille]

How To Walk Into Stores & Pitch Your Idea To
Key Influencers & Decision Makers

This video is by special request of @tafy to help show his new mentoree that it's not the idea blocking the results.

I didn't prepare at all for this. Pretty much as soon as he said make a video I grabbed pen and paper and went to town.

3 restaurants, 3 key people, 3 responses in the form of a yes, giving me permission to return when I'm ready to sell.

Here's what I learned:

Local restaurants where I'm at have 1 main slow time throughout the week.

Some restaurants may be less impacted by the idea due to the general age of their customers.

Chain restaurants need to chat with the District Manager / Corporate office before making decisions.

It's good to make friends with the GM, because they still have a lot of influence.

Local restaurants in my town all use different forms of advertising, but only 1 of these 3 used Groupon.

The others weren't using any other similar app.

Key Notes:

- Didn't buy business cards before doing this.
- Didn't make a website before doing this.
- Nobody said no.
- Got key information from an influencer at every place.
- Got permission to return which is the most important thing of all.
- Started a bit rough, and got over my adrenaline by the second pitch.
- Got key info at the first buz. that I used to help pitch others.
- Noticed things in the environment that could help pitch (such as lack of customers due to time of day)
- Took pen & paper so I could write down names. I can use those names to get me back in the door later.
- Wore business casual clothing.
- Wore a smile everywhere.
- Nice to everyone, including holding door for random customer & making chit chat with regular employees.

So there you have it, and I hope this helps.

Just do it.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Wantrapreneurs Suck...At Problem Solving.

​

Discover common differences in how wantrapreneurs & entrepreneurs see the world. Some of you don't need this video. Some of you do. If you're honest with yourself, I'm sure you both know who you are.

​

Raw Review Corner EP7 - Upwork Application Teardown

​

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Why They Don't Listen To Your Brilliant Advice.

Isn't it weird how we always know the answer to other peoples' problems? It's obvious. It's right there.

But they don't see it. They don't know the answer. So it's up to us to give it to them, right?

Maybe not, and here's why.

It's not that your advice isn't good. There's a lot of great advice floating around.

But that advice ain't worth jack to the other guy unless it connects with him using his own models of reality.

We all process information in different ways. If we want our advice to connect, it has to be YOU focused.

It has to speak directly to the other person. It has to be custom tailored for them.

That's how we help them. That's how we solve their problems. That's how we share advice that's valuable to them.

Again, the disconnect isn't the advice. It's the delivery.

What words do they use to describe their problem? How can you share your answer in a similar way?

And what questions can you ask to help them find the answers for their self?

Instead of being a know-it-all boss telling them what to do, what if we acted as mentors and friends?

Who are you more likely to listen to?

The answer's obvious, don't you think?

 

[Andy Black]

Video response to say thanks Lex.

 

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[Lex DeVille]

what if this guy doesn't have any proof? Let's say he is looking for his first job???

How to Get Proof Instantly...

Proof of Copywriting Experience
• Write fake copy for fake products
• Write fake copy for real products
• Write your application as a sales letter

Proof of Education & Training
• Take a $10 copywriting course on Udemy
• Be sure to get the certificate

Proof of General Knowledge & Intelligence
• Take free Upwork tests

Social Proof
• Write real copy for real products for free.
• Ask for feedback when you deliver.

Proof of Specific Experience
• Practice writing fake copy of whatever specific thing you're applying for
• If it's direct mail, use the junk mail you get as an example
• Or Google samples of different types of copy

The real question is - what happens when the client asks you to do something you don't know how to do?

Do you quit because SinisterLex wasn't there with the answers?

Or do you find a way?

 

[Lex DeVille]

Raw Review Corner Episode 2 - @unorthodox

I totally called you untouchable. Guess that's what my mind wanted so... you better change your name haha.

This one took a lot of clipping to keep it under 5. Still wayyy too wordy, but at least it's not 14.

 

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[Lex DeVille]

LESSONS LEARNED FROM HITTING A DEER
Pretty much what it says...

 

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[Andy Black]

Marked GOLD.

Here's why:

• Lex is producing content that's great for entrepreneurs (how to sell, how to get more stuff done).
• Lex is producting content that's great for wantrapreneurs (get out of your own head and do it).
• Lex is walking the talk (by getting out of his own head and doing it).
• Lex is more concerned with helping people, than creating perfect videos, or "monetising".
• Lex is sharing his story, and allowing us to come along for the ride.
• Lex is inspiring us to take action.

Thank you Lex.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Why Persistence Pays Off

Seriously getting hard to steal time for vids, but I really wanna keep it going. This topic's been on my mind a lot and I made this a few days ago, but just now getting around to publishing it.

@Fox

SinisterLex - my current profile on Upwork has a few projects as a client. I did one project where I paid a developer 15k. What is your thoughts on using this same profile as a freelancer? I got 5 star feedback as a client so no problems there.

Having worked on both sides of the fence I haven't had any issue using the same profile. Nobody knows or cares that you're a client when they're looking to hire you as a freelancer. They only see what's right in front of them and most of the time they don't even see that.

If you're worried about it just change your business name on the client side to something other than your personal name.

 

[Lex DeVille]

For those of you wanting profile reviews:

I didn't think it too wordy.

Were you reviewing a different ad than what you showed in the video? You mentioned copy I couldn't see.

I could still follow what you said though, so that's interesting for you. Do you have to show the newspaper ad even?

You've a lot of energy and passion, which is kinda at odds with the whole potential dryness of the subject matter. It will be interesting to see where you take this.

Well done putting it out there.

(Timely too as I was just thinking of doing videos of me in full flow in front of a flipchart.)

The screen was split. The Newspaper ad is what forum member Unorthodox was re-writing. The copy on the right side of the screen is his hand-written sample. I just figured it would be a little more engaging to see both pieces since one was just bland handwriting and the other had some color.

I actually wasn't going to show any copy. Was just gonna add it as something people can download if they want to take a look, but that's apparently not an option on Youtube. Gotta upload to dropbox and link to it or something I guess, but that takes extra time.

Thanks for the comments. Video is a lot of fun and also a lot of work, but it will definitely be cool to see you on screen too!

 

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[Lex DeVille]

THIS One Simple Headline Trick Fails You Every Time...

A MUST WATCH for new copywriters. If you make THIS mistake, you're gonna miss the mark.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Raw Review Corner: Episode 4 - DRM Flyer Teardown

Today we've got a DRM Flyer from an anonymous Fastlane Forum member. Took a few days but it's here!

One thing I didn't mention that's really unclear is what the product/service actually is.

Only the Home Depot line mentions replacing shutters, but it's hard to tell whether you're just selling shutters or whether you install them too.

 

[tafy]

I will review your review!

1. Wayyy too long Lex! You should do 4 mins max on one profile
2. Stop apologising at the start
3. Needs to be way faster
5. Video quality and picture quality is really good

Keep at it!

 

[Andy Black]

My favourite quote from your "Wantrapreneurs Suck" video:

Wantrepreneur: Can you show me how to start?

Entrepreneur: How can I improve what I am already doing?


In other words:

"You don't learn until you launch."
(Dan Norris)

"Start."
(@Vigilante)



You walk the talk @SinisterLex.

We can see you playing around, learning, and adapting already. It's great to watch it unfold and I'm looking forward to seeing where this takes you.

Everyone is watching videos now-a-days, especially on smartphones. This is just going to grow. IMO, helping people via video, and therefore building your audience via video, is a very smart move when you have the talent.


EDIT: Yes, just phone audio. I'll get a lapel mic or something and see how that goes. I have a baseline from which to improve from now. But the goal was to say thanks, and to add value to the forum. NOT having a lapel mic was not a good enough reason to stop me.

 

[Lex DeVille]

You're A Moron.

Today we talk about a pretty common issue. An easy way to make or break yourself.
Oh, and I'm testing a new setup.

 

[Lex DeVille]

I will review your review!

1. Wayyy too long Lex! You should do 4 mins max on one profile
2. Stop apologising at the start
3. Needs to be way faster
5. Video quality and picture quality is really good

Keep at it!

Thanks for the feedback. All noted.

A good night's sleep tonight. Tomorrow's for real.

I can take feedback just like I can give it.

So, if anyone wonders, I'm totally open and look forward to your feedback on my vids.

It's never personal. Feedback is how we improve.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

What I learned today:

• Don't make videos when you're tired.
• Some people want them short.
• Don't hold back your real thoughts just to be nice because it doesn't really solve the problem.
• Profile's are pretty much all the same.
• If I post 1 video to show you guys how to do a solid profile, you can reference that.

Alright guys... Bring it on.

 

[Longinus]

I was getting frustrated on Upwork. So I watched just one of your videos on Tuesday.

Updated my profile with your advice in mind and applied for one job.

Today I got the proposal. (They even want to pay more).

Damn man, your advice is worth Gold.

 

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[Boozoon]

Lex, although likes/thanks are nice, I wanted to take the time to thank you for putting out such quality content on the forum. I am doing your 15 days of freedom and love the exercises. I am on day 3 and here is an interesting story.

I was contacted recently by a girl who works in a big supplement company, she is the regional manager responsible for my country. She told me if I wanted to write some articles about them and also let them use my existing articles on their website. I said cool, let's chat about that and arranged a phone call. As I was waiting for the phone call, I did the 5 headlines and wrote a 3 paragraphs description about a product of theirs that was really awfully presented. Like take-a-pen-and-stab-your-eyes awful. So I rewrote it and send her my version, along with some comments.

SHe really loved it and asked me if i could write a whole article about their supplement. The benefits are not that great (they will give me points I can use to buy supplements) but hey, it was a nice move, I went the extra mile and I am sure she will keep me close if I continue to deliver value. Plus she sounded cute, haha.

I also love how when you immerse yourself in the experience of "others first" opportunities appear everywhere. I already have an idea along the same lines for a famous gym in Dubai and who knows what else will come up.

Sorry if my rant seems a bit incomprehensible, but if there is something I want you to keep is that -> This shit works. Copy writing works. SinisterLex rocks.

Cheers ^_^

 

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[Vigilante]

Had my finger over the gold button but I thought I would let @Andy Black do the honors.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Identity Influence: Who Cares What You Want...

Yep my hair is gone.

It's not what I wanted. It's what I had to do.

That background noise is extra-strength coffee brewing. That's the real secret to success!

 

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[Lex DeVille]

RAW REVIEW EPISODE 9: THE SOUND OF MUSIC

Getting back into the swing of things. Here's a Raw Review for a forum member's landing page.

The Good:
- Design looks nice and flows smoothly throughout
- Easy to read and doesn't take long to get through the page
- Nothing really blocked my path to the bottom
- Overall design feels professional and I wouldn't immediately click away if I already knew why I was there.

Needs Improvement:
My biggest issue was understanding who should use the site. One second it seems like it's for artists and the next it seems like it's for agents or managers. This in itself isn't a problem, but there probably needs to be a clear sense of direction. Like some kind of separation instead of switching back and forth. Basically the copy needs to make it very clear that it's a place for the music industry as a whole to connect with each other. Not just for musicians getting manager contact info.

The headline needs to be more clear about what the site is. The first sub-heading should probably be the main headline.

Mostly just minor tweaks. Add some sensory language and only use logical/technical words like "networking" in sections specifically speaking to managers / agents / producers. When talking to musicians use words like "connection", "substance", "depth", "feel", "art", "listen / hear / sound / noise" - stuff that speaks to the heart.

Hope that helps!

 

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[Vigilante]

[HASHTAG]#goldwatch[/HASHTAG]

 

[SYK]

?

[HASHTAG]#goldwatch[/HASHTAG]

 

[Andy Black]

You're A Moron.

Today we talk about a pretty common issue. An easy way to make or break yourself.
Oh, and I'm testing a new setup.

Very nice setup. Ticking grandfather clock and smoking jacket next?



Totally agree with you.

When someone cuts you up in traffic, don't say "I hate people who cut me up in traffic."

Say "I hate it *when* people cut me up in traffic."

Don't hate the sinner, hate the sin.

Don't even hate. It's just negative energy.



I try to start all my responses with a Thanks for ...

Then I have to find what to thank them for. Thanks for reading. Thanks for following. Thanks for your input.

Then continue. ("Yes, and" style.)


I like your technique of asking questions too. That should come across neutral whilst still getting your objection/concern across, and you just might learn from the responses you get.

"What if you just helped someone this week, instead of building a website?"

"Is there anyone you know already who you could teach that too?"


The number one rule of sales is to not disagree with who you're selling to. "Yes, it's expensive, and worth every penny."

We're selling every time we try to influence or persuade someone. If we want successful businesses, we need to be able to sell. If we can't sell our viewpoint in a forum without antagonising people, then how are we going to sell anything else?


Thanks for the video Lex.

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Problem Solving 101 - For Stuck Entrepreneurs

Saw some guys having trouble finding problems to solve. Seemed like a fair Sunday topic, so here it is.

@Coreyc

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Anybody want a raw review?

I'm doing more of these free for those on the forum. Send me a PM with a link to what you want reviewed.

If you want it anonymous, please remove your personally identifiable information before sending me the link.

To save time I will NOT edit out personally identifiable information for you.

This doesn't have to be copywriting. I'll look over ONE page for you.

Could be an idea you're thinking about executing on.
Could be copywriting.
Could be your website and it's design.
Could be something else...

Whatever you got, I'll share my raw thoughts on it for you. Thanks.

 

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[wade1mil]

"…so you know what, F*ck it."

Lol love the realness