Kids, time management and business

[Vigilante]

This morning was Dad's and Doughnuts at my youngest daughter's class. Out of 13 children, there were 4 dads there. One of which didn't know the name of his child's teacher or how to get to the classroom. Two had to leave within 15 minutes. Myself and 1 other dad stayed the full hour. If I could frame the images of the children in that room...waiting on somebody to show up...I could sell every copy of TMF that MJ could print.

your post invoked several emotions in me, from anger to disbelief to sadness.

That is absoFUCKINGlutely ridiculous

While their Dads probably sat around some office doing F*cking NOTHING but possibly making some fat cat fatter

 

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[becks22]

I'm 24 and getting pregnant & having kids isn't even on my radar but I give you guys major props for working on your business and being a parent. Respect

It also makes me work harder to know that when I have kids, I don't want to be dropping them off at daycare but actually be present in their lives.

 

[amp0193]

If I could frame the images of the children in that room...waiting on somebody to show up...I could sell every copy of TMF that MJ could print.

Once every few weeks my daughter and I go to the trampoline park at 11am. I am the only dad there.

The kids (mostly 6 and under) flock to me. Some try to hug me, or hold my hand.

They are so daddy-starved that they want to put their affection onto a complete stranger. (They need to read @Vigilante's book).

It makes me pretty emotional. My heart hurts for these kids.

 

[mrarcher]

As most of my business involves using the computer I have the rule that I don't start working on it until the kids are in bed. Even if that means burning the candle at both ends and being shattered at my slowlane job. I never used to but there was a day I promised my son id "play with him tomorrow when I have time." He got so excited and that's all I heard him talk about the rest of the day.
It made me feel so guilty that I spent so little time with them that he got that excited about me taking 5 minutes out my day to play with toy cars.

 

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[amp0193]

As most of my business involves using the computer I have the rule that I don't start working on it until the kids are in bed.

Good rule. It's always tempting to cut down on kid time, "just to do one quick thing"... but that turns into another related thing, and another, and meanwhile, you're kid is getting more tired and more grumpy, and that quality time is slipping away. Odds are, it'll just get done faster anyways, when they are asleep.

I never used to but there was a day I promised my son id "play with him tomorrow when I have time." He got so excited and that's all I heard him talk about the rest of the day.

Always, always, always keep your promises. The hope of something fun to come, makes our kids way more excited than is rational. I make my kid promises all the time, and we always do what I said we would. I do this, so that she learns that I am trustworthy and dependable. But, if you don't know if you can keep your promises, don't make them.

My biggest parenting fear, is being Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie "Jingle All the Way". I've watched this movie every Christmas for 20 years. I can quote the script from memory. His failure to as a dad to keep his promises and show up, and the way it destroyed his kid, is burned into my memory.

 

[Michael Moore]

When we get all tied up into creating our "busy-ness" we easily forget what is closest to us and what we believe it is why/who we are doing our latest venture for.
It happens to us all.
Even if we don't think we have anything as important as a family.
What nobody can tell or show you is what it really takes to be a wanna be entrepreneur.
You will always be a wanna be as even when you become successful (What are the criteria for successful by the way) , you will want to start another busy-ness and be successful at it.
Can you be successful if you have a minimum wage but are happy anyway, or is it all about the currency in the bank/off shore account/precious metals/cars etc
The pains the aches, the almost bi-polar disorder that comes from the stresses and strains that are caused by the mental upheavals associated with this madness we refer to as business.
When you are almost broke or actually broke and hiding from the bankers or the landlord or whoever we owe money too that day or the next.
Thinking that if we rob from peter to pay paul when we have nothing for either is only a scratch on the surface of this life change.
This life change I promise you is a marathon with an elephant on your back, if you are young and have made it then fair play but if life hasn't thrown you a few balls of shite yet then you aint seen nothing yet.
Usually when we think we have made it or we think that this is easy I promise you the fan is about to take a big one.
Yes I am being pessimistic but I am also being a realist.
This life journey is tough with out us adding to it the wanna be entrepreneur and trying to raise a family and then we have the gaul to think we can do it without any stress.
Almost 80% of entrepreneurs are suffering from a heart related stress disorder caused by the business strains imposed upon them , the other 20% are already dead from a heart attack , actually I made that up but prove me wrong just for the crack.
Why am I being so down and negative , we should be happy and upbeat.
In Ireland we say fek off guess what that means.
Been there done all that and back at it again.
Honestly I think we are slightly mad to be at this busy-ness.
@amp0193 and @Andy Black both have it right.
You have to make the time because once its gone its gone.
It is worth the struggles and strife if you can survive it as 95% drop out of the race in the first year.

From "a miserable auld git"

 

[Ricoboxing]

U got the rest of your life to make money. Your kids are only young once.

Sent from my SGH-I317M using Tapatalk

 

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[amp0193]

You have to make the time because once its gone its gone.

I have no idea what point you were trying to make in your post, but I can agree with this one sentence.

I could've done a better job of managing my time this week between business and kid/family time. Feeling a little guilty. Will do better next week.

 

[amp0193]

U got the rest of your life to make money. Your kids are only young once.

I agree with your sentiment here, but why not just do both at once?

The two aren't mutually exclusive.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

When he spotted us he smiled even more to himself but kept his head down. (This image will stay with me forever.)

And most probably it will stay with HIM forever.

Reading this gave me goosebumps.

How many parents had to take a day off to be there?

How many parents couldn't come because their parents' bosses said no?

This is fastlane power, this is fastlane freedom.

 

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[G-Man]

U got the rest of your life to make money. Your kids are only young once.

You're only young once, too. You'll give up some time with your kids now to get a lot more later. Believe me, I have a 7 month old son that was basically being adorable and cuddly this morning when I was trying to leave home, I think about this every day.

After I finish my day job today, I have to go see some people about an investment I made a few months ago that I'm in the process of recovering. This weekend, I gotta figure out why units of product aren't moving in BFE locations in NM and LA. I might even end up driving to OK to meet a single customer. I could go back to a regular controller job M-F at any point. Sometimes I tell myself I should because I'd make more money (in the short run), and have my evenings and weekends free.

When that temptation comes, here's what I remind myself of:

• The job I have now will never create enough income for me to be financially free. I'll work till I'm 60, and then I'll be stuck somewhere with a low cost of living.
• I'll get to see my boy more now, but that will be the status quo until he leaves home. If I give up some time now, I could be semi-retired in less than 10 years, and spend all my time with him and his mom.
• He will eventually grow up and leave us. That's what healthy children do. Not long after that he has a family of his own. Because I took road A, to see him for a little extra time on the weekends, I'm on the budget retirement plan. Which means I see my son (and grandkids?), whenever they have time in their busy schedule to come visit me on holidays or whatever.
• Or.... I have the financial freedom to drop in on him whenever I want, regardless of what he's doing in his life.

I'm working on getting off road A as we speak.

 

[Andy Black]

And most probably it will stay with HIM forever.

Reading this gave me goosebumps.

How many parents had to take a day off to be there?

How many parents couldn't come because their parents' bosses said no?

This is fastlane power, this is fastlane freedom.

The thing to note is that this isn't "fastlane" freedom.

I still have to work and my revenue isn't completely divorced from my time. I haven't scaled much but the wheels are in motion.

This is the freedom that comes from not being on someone else's payroll or at the beck and call of one large client.

I'm winning already, and I'm not at what many would percieve as the finish line (event).

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

The thing to note isn't that this isn't "fastlane" freedom.

I still have to work and my revenue isn't completely divorced from my time. I haven't scaled much but the wheels are in motion.

This is the freedom that comes from not being on someone else's payroll or at the beck and call of one large client.

I'm winning already, and I'm not at what many would percieve as the finish line (event).

True.

But you are moving. And most importantly, into the right direction.

You are ahead of many of your peers.

While it is not "fastlane" freedom Y.E.T., your are well on your way.

This is a taste of the freedom the "fastlane" can bring.

 

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[Michael Moore]

My rant above was about the fact that when terminal disaster strikes in whatever way it is not what we have done that we remember it is the regrets of what we did not do or take the time to do.
look up the top regrets of people in nursing homes , wealthy or otherwise.
Sacrifice that work day to be at a school play , help out at a local sports or social club/charity event or spend more time with family.
Monied/wealthy or not the regrets are the same.
And then among all that is going on we decide to become entrepreneurs.
We really are a bunch of nut cases....
Just my opinion.

A miserable auld git.... ;-)

 

[amp0193]

My rant above was about the fact that when terminal disaster strikes in whatever way it is not what we have done that we remember it is the regrets of what we did not do or take the time to do.

Ok, I get you now.

As I read in Unscripted yesterday, "present time is greater than future time".


In Shoe Dog, Nike founder and CEO said his biggest regret in life was not spending more time with his kids.

 

[DeterminedJ]

Reclaiming 3 hours a day by not having to commute all goes into more time with the kids.

I'm a total forum newbie, so apologies I'm coming into this convo a bit late. As Fastlane, Unscripted parents who are further along in your journeys, I'm hoping to get some advice.

I keep having this nagging thought that I should be spending the next 6-8 months getting a remote-based freelance business off the ground so I can avoid the time suck of commuting every M-F and have some more time & flexibility for Fastlane pursuits. That said, the skills that I'd use for freelance work are not related to my (currently untested) Fastlane idea... so is this really just a case of my fear brain trying to take over and procrastinate the real work? Should I just be focusing on my idea and appropriate next steps as far as testing goes?

For everyone who's been there before [2 parents working FT jobs and 2 crazy/adorable toddlers], what did you focus on first?

 

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[Andy Black]

I'm a total forum newbie, so apologies I'm coming into this convo a bit late. As Fastlane, Unscripted parents who are further along in your journeys, I'm hoping to get some advice.

I keep having this nagging thought that I should be spending the next 6-8 months getting a remote-based freelance business off the ground so I can avoid the time suck of commuting every M-F and have some more time & flexibility for Fastlane pursuits. That said, the skills that I'd use for freelance work are not related to my (currently untested) Fastlane idea... so is this really just a case of my fear brain trying to take over and procrastinate the real work? Should I just be focusing on my idea and appropriate next steps as far as testing goes?

For everyone who's been there before [2 parents working FT jobs and 2 crazy/adorable toddlers], what did you focus on first?

Welcome to the forum.

It's quite a feat to move from a full-time job to living off self-employed income. (Bear in mind you don't have to match the take-home pay from the job, just exceed your living expenses.)

My hat goes off to anyone who's made the leap, and to anyone who's consistently working on a side-hustle outside of working hours - especially with small kids.


To your question of: should you reclaim more hours by doing freelance work (from home?) to escape a job, or test a fastlane idea...

Obviously you know more about your situation, skillset, and opportunities than us, and it's your decision at the end of the day.

Saying that, here's some things to ask yourself:

How quickly can you run those tests of your "fastlane idea"?

How quickly can you test whether you can make revenue as a freelancer?

What can you do to make a sale in the next 7 days, or month?

Can you "grow what you know"? Are there people who have taken your freelancer skills and turned that into a steady stream of work, and then into a more fastlane business?


Maybe these recordings (and comments in the threads) will help you:

• (Audio) Freedom, Motivation, & Grow What You Know
• AndyTalks with @The-J about Creating Freelancing J.O.B.s by Accident
  
• AndyTalks with @Nicoknowsbest about Goal-Setting and moving from Freelancer through Agency
• AndyTalks with a mastermind of budding business owners

Good luck!

 

[Aardvark]

It's incredibly difficult to balance family life with work.

Here's a quick run down of my day;
06:00 Get up and get a coffee, wake up, brief bit of reading
06:30 Children & Wife get up (5 Year Old and 1 Year Old), get the children sorted with breakfast, getting dressed etc. Steal a few cuddles with them.
07:00 Start getting ready for work
07:15 - 07:30 Leave for work
09:00 Arrive into work
18:30 Leave work to head home
19:30 Get home, put eldest to best and read him a story
20:00 Get tea and spend some time with the Mrs
20:30 Work on my business
21:30 Spend more time with the Mrs before bed
22:30 Head to bed

Rinse and repeat. I try to spend as much time as possible with the kids and my wife at the weekend. Its tough but its motivation to keep plodding on.

Remember, Rome wasn't build in a day and every journey starts with a single step. Just keep taking those steps and you'll get there.

 

[DeterminedJ]

@Andy Black , thanks so much for the welcome & for the list of great resources. I'm going to check out those audio files & comments and think about your questions a bit more fully before replying more in-depth. Just wanted to say thanks!

 

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[amp0193]

Remember, Rome wasn't build in a day and every journey starts with a single step. Just keep taking those steps and you'll get there.

Do you really need 7.5 hours of sleep?

Does your job allow you any time to accomplish anything on your business, even if it's in secret?


Keep plugging away. Find a way to scale back job duties or hours without significantly losing pay, if you can.

 

[Aardvark]

Do you really need 7.5 hours of sleep?

Does your job allow you any time to accomplish anything on your business, even if it's in secret?


Keep plugging away. Find a way to scale back job duties or hours without significantly losing pay, if you can.

7.5 hours of sleep would be amazing but with a 18 month waking up for a bottle I never get the 7.5 hours.

Also that is taking into account when I fall asleep, I have trouble dropping off. Hence the go to bed rather than go to sleep.

 

[Dunkafelics]

The search function works!

Thank you so much to all of you here. I have been struggling with finding the right balance with my wife and 8 mo. son but the pieces are falling in place.

For now I've settled on copywriting as my skill to develop outside of my full-time job. I've already gained a few clients but need to improve.

It has been a process of figuring out what works around our lives, taking into account that every hour I work on my business is an hour extra that my wife has to care for our son. She is an amazing woman, but needs breaks too!

I've developed a fairly solid routine where I get up at 5am and do an hour of Miracle Morning routine and then work on my business until the little man wakes up.

Generally the days are busy so then once our little guy goes to bed, I will continue to do work until 10pm.

Fastlane Freedom for me is literally to create enough self employed income so that I can leave my job and continue to have more control of my life.

This discussion has been bookmarked and I will reference it as much as possible. Thank you all!

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