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Kids, time management and business

Alexo

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Hi Guys,

I just wanted to ask forum members with kids about how they made their business work. How did you manage your time? What would you recommend in terms of balancing your life, kids, family and business at the same time?

I am 29 and currently have a decent job that pays the bills (although it's obviously still slow-lane). My son was just born recently and I keep on thinking about how I can manage everything. This force/my heart is pulling me into starting something of my own the more I am at work.

Any advice is welcomed!
 
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RMarques

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I understand the struggle, we have three kids under the age of three years old.
When we were expecting our first, I faced a lot of what you're going through.
Basically how I manage.. I'm up 2-3 hours before anyone else is awake/I leave for my physical business. And sometimes 1-2 hours after everyone is asleep.
Most of my free time is spent on the business. That's time for myself/the business that will fund our future lifestyle.
If my wife or kids are around - THEY are the priority. I do my best to keep things in perspective.. I want my business to succeed so I can invest time in family and relationships.
 

AnAverageJoe

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I'm right where you are. I have two kids 3 and under.
If my wife or kids are around - THEY are the priority.
I feel the same way. I don't ever want to neglect my wife or kids. At the same time though, I am trying to build something that will benefit all of us for the rest of our lives.
I'm up 2-3 hours before anyone else is awake/I leave for my physical business. And sometimes 1-2 hours after everyone is asleep.
This is my plan. Right now I am trying to multitask working on the business and spending time with the family, but that's kind of hard. The kids want your undivided attention and they aren't old enough to understand what you're doing.

On most days I have to be at my slow lane job at 7am. This means waking up at about 5:45 to get ready and get there. Waking up two hours early would mean getting up at about 4am. Staying up a couple hours after everyone would get me to bed at about midnight. I know a lot of people can survive off of 4 hours of sleep, but I'm not sure I'm built for that. I might have to just pick one of the two.

I guess if it were easy everyone would do it...
 

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1. I involve my kids with my businesses. Even if its just picking up materials, I take them with me. They love it and I get extra time with them.

2. Kill the commute time (if you can). I got rid of it entirely (work from home). That's 2 free hours a day.

3. Make detailed lists of what you want to accomplish the next day. Race to get it done, then family time. It really works.

4. Farm some stuff out if you can. Mowing the lawn, going to the cleaners, etc. A few extra bucks now might pay off in the long run.

5. Work vacations. I take the fam with me on road trips. They play, I work and we have some free time inbetween.

These work for me, maybe try a few and see what happens. Good luck on your journey!
 
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Ludachris

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It can be REALLY tough when you have a family - I have a 7 year old and 10 year old. You don't get these precious years back, and I don't want to be that dad that was always working and never did things with my kids. I try to be present physically and mentally as much as I possibly can when I'm not at my day job. I also need to spend quality time with my wife to ensure my marriage stays healthy. That obviously makes it pretty difficult to build a business when it requires you to sit at a computer and hustle when you get home from your day job (that I cannot telecommute from).

And like others, my brain does not function effectively on 5-6 hours of sleep, so staying up late and getting up really early doesn't result in quality work being done, at least not when I've tried. I wish I could function at a decent level on 5 hours of sleep. Maybe I need to devote some more time to exercise and better eating for that to work, but then that exercise time would have to fit in somewhere too LOL!

I find that I sometimes get frustrated with myself for not taking time away from the family or from sleeping hours to get more done to get where I want to be faster. That isn't healthy either. I think you have to be realistic with what you want out of life now, and later. Know what you physically can get done, what you can pay to outsource to free up some of your time, and what you're simply not willing to sacrifice while you work towards your goals. Once you make some agreements with yourself you can focus on ways to get more out of the time you do invest in the business.
 

AnAverageJoe

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If you keep telling yourself this; you'll end up on your death bed with a lot of regret.
Well that escalated quickly.

In all seriousness though, I understand what you are saying. In this situation however, I understand my body and how I operate. With only 4 hours of sleep I won't be productive.

I understand the value of hard work, but I don't really buy into the whole "hustle until your F*cking face falls off" mentality. I have a wife and kids, and like others have said in this thread I don't want to neglect them during this process.

I know what's best for me and my situation, so that's what I'll do. I'll decide what I will and will not regret.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk
 
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Hi Guys,

I just wanted to ask forum members with kids about how they made their business work. How did you manage your time? What would you recommend in terms of balancing your life, kids, family and business at the same time?

I am 29 and currently have a decent job that pays the bills (although it's obviously still slow-lane). My son was just born recently and I keep on thinking about how I can manage everything. This force/my heart is pulling me into starting something of my own the more I am at work.

Any advice is welcomed!
First of all, good is the biggest impediment to becoming great (Jim Collins). What I mean by this is that it's easy to get comfortable in a decent paying job, and that comfort can easily prevent you from having the hunger and drive to get into the Fastlane. Believe me, that was my story for 20 years. So, you gotta fool yourself into being hungry, and hunger starts with your "why." Find the reason why you want to do this, and the how will follow. As for practical tactics, establish your "non-negotiables" in terms of how you live each day. Some examples: 1) Early to rise (it's before 6 for me), 2) Establish a morning ritual (for me it's yoga/stretching, breathing and meditation, plan and review goals, 8 oz water), 3) Block your time (I use a Pomodoro timer). I'm hysterically/tragically ADD, so I have to use all the tricks I know to stay on task, and these have worked for me. Finally, circling back to your "why," having a kid is something anyone can do, but being a father is the most important job you'll ever have. If you discipline yourself to manage your time, then you are much more apt to be fully present for your family, and that's what they need most from you.
 

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Hi Guys,

I just wanted to ask forum members with kids about how they made their business work. How did you manage your time? What would you recommend in terms of balancing your life, kids, family and business at the same time?

I am 29 and currently have a decent job that pays the bills (although it's obviously still slow-lane). My son was just born recently and I keep on thinking about how I can manage everything. This force/my heart is pulling me into starting something of my own the more I am at work.

Any advice is welcomed!


Here's how today went:

Woke up at 1am to a 2-week-old screaming in the bed, and a wife too frazzled to deal with it.

Got out my laptop and set it up on top of the treadmill. Strapped baby to me and got to work looking for distributors while I walked 12 miles over the next 6 hours.

7am - went to sleep.

9am - wife woke up and got the toddler breakfast.

12pm - they woke me up. Toddler came at me full speed for the next hour. Took an ibuprofin and coffee to subdue the migraine.

2pm - Wife takes toddler and newborn to Target. I shower. Then do my emails. 2 new wholesale orders today, and 2 L.A. reps want to pick me up for distribution.

3:30pm - They're back. I try to finish a very important email with a toddler in my lap begging me to go outside and do bubbles, while ripping up all the sticky notes on my desk.

3:45pm - Do bubbles.

4:00 - 8:30pm - Family time at the music festival downtown.

9:00pm - Back on the treadmill and gonna find the Minneapolis market reps I need to reach out to on Monday.

11:00pm - sleep????


Am I doing it right?
 
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Last edited:

AnAverageJoe

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I apologize. I didn't mean for it to come off the way it did.
At the end of the day we win or lose depending on what we tell ourselves we're capable of.
I agree 100%. The whole "deathbed" thing just reminded me of all the "guru's" on Facebook and Instagram that want to make you feel like a piece of shit if you aren't killing yourself around the clock trying to build your business. Not saying that's what you meant, that's just what I was reminded of when I went on my little rant.

I understand the hard work and sacrifice we have to put into it, and that I alone am responsible for how my life turns out, but there's a balance I think we all have to find that works for ourselves. Even if I am a millionaire in six years, if I had to neglect my family and my health in the process I think I would regret that just as much.
 

amp0193

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p.s. I started my first business the week my daughter was born, 2.5 years ago. Would talk to china suppliers in the middle of every night and look for products, with a newborn asleep on my lap in the recliner. Nothing's more motivating then having a kid, and then realizing that you'll have to abandon them to go to a day job.

P.p.s. - U.S. law gives you 3 months to take off for maternity leave, you should consider using it. I cashed in 20 sick days for my job, and then took unpaid leave for the next 2 months. When I came back, my salary check was $1000 less a month, but it was so worth it. Both to be there to support my wife, and to have the time to work on my business. If I ever need extra cash to make up for the deficit, I just flipped a washer/dryer or 5 on Craigslist.
 

Andy Black

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It's really tough when the kids are younger, especially when they're not sleeping through the night, and when they're toddlers and you have to keep an eye on them constantly.

It gets easier!

Ours are now all in school and it's definitely easier. They're aged 5, 6, and 8 to give you context.

My working week is to get up at 6:30am for that crazy morning routine then leave at 8:30am to drop them to school. I'm back home and working from 9am till 2pm Monday to Thursday.

Friday my wife is off work so we might run chores or go for brunch etc. Some work might get done when she collects the kids.

I down tools just after 2pm to collect them from school. Then it's the mayhem of homework, play, dinner, play, reading, bed at 6:30pm and 7:30pm depending on ages.

Bit of time with my wife and/or fitness, then back for an evening shift 9pm till midnight (ideally 11pm but I always drag it out for some reason).

I can work 9pm till midnight pretty much every evening except Friday or Saturday.

So I've access to a lot of hours for work, and spend a lot of time with my kids and wife.

Reclaiming 3 hours a day by not having to commute all goes into more time with the kids.

The freedom I have is because I now already work for myself and can construct the lifestyle to suit me.

Location independence doesn't mean beaches and laptops for me. It means not commuting.

I'm earning less than some contracts I've had in the past where I had to go on client sites.

How I earn it is a world apart.

In my mind, I've already won.



I could work Friday and maybe grow my business faster, but why?

I refuse to spend less time with my kids now so I can spend more time with them later. That truly would be a death-bed regret.

Your health and family are precious. Be careful not to lose them now because you're focused on something in the future.

I'm in this business game for the long haul anyway, and am determined to enjoy the journey.



I am the leader of my own tribe. I have to keep a roof over our heads first and foremost, even if that means flipping burgers.

The most important job in my life is to be a good father.

And that involves being the man I want my sons to grow up to be.

I don't want my kids self-worth being measured by what phone they have or car they drive, or even how much they earn.

I don't want them thinking "failure" is bad, or to have their natural curiosity and courage crushed by the school system and cubicle life.

I have to smash all the limiting beliefs society puts on us, otherwise I leave it up to my kids to do it themselves.

Quite a responsibility eh?


Some related threads:
 
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Andy Black

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MidwestLandlord

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1. I involve my kids with my businesses. Even if its just picking up materials, I take them with me. They love it and I get extra time with them.

I do this too ^^^

My kids love it. They come to my B&M stores with me and will pick up garbage in the lot, stock shelves, clean, and my oldest even runs the POS sometimes. Hell, they work harder than some of my paid help haha.

They help with my rentals too.

And I make the most of this time. We laugh and joke around in the car, we have fun, they learn to work hard, and they get to hear dad talk about business, life, and how you don't have to have a "job" to make money.

They even occasionally go on business trips with me in the summer. It's all good. Feels much more "natural" to me than sitting at home playing barbies with them or something.

In the beginning when our oldest was born, I had long ago made sure that our expenses were far below our income...so I told my wife to quit her almost 6 figure job to stay at home. Having the home front covered made things a lot easier.

The best thing you can do is "always have a plan"

Don't waste hours. Most people, in my opinion, don't feel "unbalanced" in life, they feel that they have "no control"

So take control. Use your hours wisely. Cut out any BS that doesn't move you forward in business, health, or your relationships. Sometimes that means ya gotta work. Sometimes it's taking your girl and your kid outside for some sun and fun. Sometimes it's getting the kid to bed so you can open a bottle of wine and reconnect with your girl. Sometimes it's taking an hour and hitting the gym.

Whatever it is, you decided it. It's YOUR time to use.

It's not easy for sure. But it is what it is.

F*ck balance, it's all about control.

Anyway,

Congrats on the new kid!

I love kids! I'd have like 15 of them if I could haha
 

Chazmania

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Well that escalated quickly.
Lol

In all seriousness though, I understand what you are saying. In this situation however, I understand my body and how I operate. With only 4 hours of sleep I won't be productive.

I understand the value of hard work, but I don't really buy into the whole "hustle until your F*cking face falls off" mentality. I have a wife and kids, and like others have said in this thread I don't want to neglect them during this process.

I know what's best for me and my situation, so that's what I'll do. I'll decide what I will and will not regret.
A chunk of years ago we were buying rentals pretty rapidly and I was going in and rehabbing them, dealing with the city inspectors, the housing department, showing the places, signing the leases, doing the repairs, collecting the rents etc etc.... Plus lifting for about 40 minutes most mornings and running for another 40 mins.

A few years of that and I was half dead! Energy levels and recovery are much different as we age, and even more important if you're working out.

I think you're on the right path and listening to your body is super important. Prioritizing your family is super important. I'm all about working hard but there is a point that it's detrimental. Good for you for seeing that.
 

AnAverageJoe

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Lol




A chunk of years ago we were buying rentals pretty rapidly and I was going in and rehabbing them, dealing with the city inspectors, the housing department, showing the places, signing the leases, doing the repairs, collecting the rents etc etc.... Plus lifting for about 40 minutes most mornings and running for another 40 mins.

A few years of that and I was half dead! Energy levels and recovery are much different as we age, and even more important if you're working out.

I think you're on the right path and listening to your body is super important. Prioritizing your family is super important. I'm all about working hard but there is a point that it's detrimental. Good for you for seeing that.
Thanks, it's nice to hear this. I feel like in a lot of entrepreneurial circles you're bombarded with people glorifying only sleeping one hour a night, running on coffee and energy drinks and neglecting some of the really important things in life.

It's refreshing to be around people who appreciate the balance.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk
 

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It's 2:30PM in Tampa. I think I will head over to my daughter's swimming lesson this afternoon. Today is the day they make the kids jump in the pool fully clothed to simulate what it might be like if you accidentally fell in the water off of a dock or boat, or in the pool. It's totally different to swim fully clothed. You have to learn how to react.

So I might as well head over there. She's only going to be this age once, and life moves pretty fast.

I don't need to ask anyone's permission, I don't need to use PTO, and I don't have to feel bad about it. Life can wait. Business goes on. My "problems" in the present moment can wait. Nothing changes while I disappear for a few hours.

That's what many describe when we talk about the freedom of being an entrepreneur. It's the freedom to put first things first.

Some day, your son is going to be in swimming lessons, and having clothing rescue swimming day. Will you be able to go?

The clock starts now. Worry less about work/life balance, and more about how you can find freedom.

I don't want a better plan for how I can juggle my job, by marriage, my being a Dad, and my desire to start my own business. Shit, they sell books for that if you want one. That's a trap. I want a plan for how I can become Unscripted .
 
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amp0193

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Some day, your son is going to be in swimming lessons, and having clothing rescue swimming day. Will you be able to go?

Everytime I go to something like this for my daughter, it's me and a bunch of moms.

Where the dads at?

Your kid's only young once.
 

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Everytime I go to something like this for my daughter, it's me and a bunch of moms.

Where the dad's at?

Your kid's only young once.

I was at my kids school the other day and the teacher kept addressing us Moms.

I think it's funny. I think it reminds me of why I set out on the journey I did.

The other Dads are trying to suck their way up the corporate pole (if you know what I mean).

F*cking bullshit. I worked for a guy once that traded his kids tee ball practices and Saturday morning donut shop visits for his 55+ hour work weeks, only to get terminated. When he got "laid off" he looked around and his kids were...gone.
 

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I was at my kids school the other day and the teacher kept addressing us Moms.

I think it's funny. I think it reminds me of why I set out on the journey I did.

The other Dads are trying to suck their way up the corporate pole (if you know what I mean).

Maybe after 30 years of working hard, they'll retire early at 55 and watch their kid's swimming lesson then.
 
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I nearly made a stupid stupid mistake last year.

I'd paid for some social media course at a venue 10 miles from where I live and where our kids go to school.
It wasn't until the morning of the course that I realised it was also the day our 4 year old had his first Céilidh (pronounced Kaylee, meaning Irish Dance).

I arrived at the course venue distraught. It wasn't just that I didn't want to miss it. I didn't want to be missing when he looked for me.

Then it dawned on me. It was ME who'd paid for the course, and I don't have a boss to ask permission to leave early.
So I stayed for a couple of hours then drove to his school to meet my wife outside and head in together.

I will never forget them all being led out single file from their classroom into the hall where we were sat with all the other parents.
I saw him with his head bowed shyly, searching the crowd for me and his mum. He was already smiling because he fully expected us to be there.

When he spotted us he smiled even more to himself but kept his head down. (This image will stay with me forever.)

When they all took their starting places he managed a quick wave and thumbs up.

They did their little Céilidh and were all fabulous.


I was so upset that night.

What if I'd stayed at that course and he'd come in smiling shyly and searching the crowd to find me?
What if I wasn't there?
What would have happened to his smile?



WHY ARE YOU IN BUSINESS?

Don't neglect your health and family. Lose them and you'll realise how precious they are.

For the love of God... Put the first things first.
 

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I nearly made a stupid stupid mistake last year.

I'd paid for some social media course at a venue 10 miles from where I live and where our kids go to school.
It wasn't until the morning of the course that I realised it was also the day our 4 year old had his first Céilidh (pronounced Kaylee, meaning Irish Dance).

I arrived at the course venue distraught. It wasn't just that I didn't want to miss it. I didn't want to be missing when he looked for me.

Then it dawned on me. It was ME who'd paid for the course, and I don't have a boss to ask permission to leave early.
So I stayed for a couple of hours then drove to his school to meet my wife outside and head in together.

I will never forget them all being led out single file from their classroom into the hall where we were sat with all the other parents.
I saw him with his head bowed shyly, searching the crowd for me and his mum. He was already smiling because he fully expected us to be there.

When he spotted us he smiled even more to himself but kept his head down. (This image will stay with me forever.)

When they all took their starting places he managed a quick wave and thumbs up.

They did their little Céilidh and were all fabulous.


I was so upset that night.

What if I'd stayed at that course and he'd come in smiling shyly and searching the crowd to find me.
What if I wasn't there?
What would have happened to his smile?



WHY ARE YOU IN BUSINESS?

Don't neglect your health and family. Lose them and you'll realise how precious they are.

For the love of God... Put the first things first.
I don't have children - I'm just a 19 year old kid that is far from having children or even a marriage.

Small stories like these help me wrap my head around this concept that is so abstract to me.

Otherwise it's hard to understand. And how could I?
I can't simply experience it for a week without the lifelong commitment.

Because it is so abstract, it sometimes looses its power as a WHY.

You guys sharing warms my heart and keeps that WHY alive.

Thank you for that.
 

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I nearly made a stupid stupid mistake last year.

I'd paid for some social media course at a venue 10 miles from where I live and where our kids go to school.
It wasn't until the morning of the course that I realised it was also the day our 4 year old had his first Céilidh (pronounced Kaylee, meaning Irish Dance).

I arrived at the course venue distraught. It wasn't just that I didn't want to miss it. I didn't want to be missing when he looked for me.

Then it dawned on me. It was ME who'd paid for the course, and I don't have a boss to ask permission to leave early.
So I stayed for a couple of hours then drove to his school to meet my wife outside and head in together.

I will never forget them all being led out single file from their classroom into the hall where we were sat with all the other parents.
I saw him with his head bowed shyly, searching the crowd for me and his mum. He was already smiling because he fully expected us to be there.

When he spotted us he smiled even more to himself but kept his head down. (This image will stay with me forever.)

When they all took their starting places he managed a quick wave and thumbs up.

They did their little Céilidh and were all fabulous.


I was so upset that night.

What if I'd stayed at that course and he'd come in smiling shyly and searching the crowd to find me.
What if I wasn't there?
What would have happened to his smile?



WHY ARE YOU IN BUSINESS?

Don't neglect your health and family. Lose them and you'll realise how precious they are.

For the love of God... Put the first things first.

@MJ DeMarco feature
 
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It's 2:30PM in Tampa. I think I will head over to my daughter's swimming lesson this afternoon. Today is the day they make the kids jump in the pool fully clothed to simulate what it might be like if you accidentally fell in the water off of a dock or boat, or in the pool. It's totally different to swim fully clothed. You have to learn how to react.

So I might as well head over there. She's only going to be this age once, and life moves pretty fast.

I don't need to ask anyone's permission, I don't need to use PTO, and I don't have to feel bad about it. Life can wait. Business goes on. My "problems" in the present moment can wait. Nothing changes while I disappear for a few hours.

That's what many describe when we talk about the freedom of being an entrepreneur. It's the freedom to put first things first.

Some day, your son is going to be in swimming lessons, and having clothing rescue swimming day. Will you be able to go?

The clock starts now. Worry less about work/life balance, and more about how you can find freedom.

I don't want a better plan for how I can juggle my job, by marriage, my being a Dad, and my desire to start my own business. Shit, they sell books for that if you want one. That's a trap. I want a plan for how I can become Unscripted .
I don't want a plan for juggling it all either but in order to keep stability for my family I have to juggle it for now. That is, until I get my business growing to the point where I can quit my job and work on it full time. Right now that's my ambitious goal - get back to being full time self employed. I look forward to being able to pour more time into my business and have the freedom to spend more time with my family when I achieve that goal. I crave that freedom.
 

MJ DeMarco

I followed the science; all I found was money.
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I nearly made a stupid stupid mistake last year.

I'd paid for some social media course at a venue 10 miles from where I live and where our kids go to school.
It wasn't until the morning of the course that I realised it was also the day our 4 year old had his first Céilidh (pronounced Kaylee, meaning Irish Dance).

I arrived at the course venue distraught. It wasn't just that I didn't want to miss it. I didn't want to be missing when he looked for me.

Then it dawned on me. It was ME who'd paid for the course, and I don't have a boss to ask permission to leave early.
So I stayed for a couple of hours then drove to his school to meet my wife outside and head in together.

I will never forget them all being led out single file from their classroom into the hall where we were sat with all the other parents.
I saw him with his head bowed shyly, searching the crowd for me and his mum. He was already smiling because he fully expected us to be there.

When he spotted us he smiled even more to himself but kept his head down. (This image will stay with me forever.)

When they all took their starting places he managed a quick wave and thumbs up.

Featured++
 

Get Right

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This morning was Dad's and Doughnuts at my youngest daughter's class. Out of 13 children, there were 4 dads there. One of which didn't know the name of his child's teacher or how to get to the classroom. Two had to leave within 15 minutes. Myself and 1 other dad stayed the full hour. If I could frame the images of the children in that room...waiting on somebody to show up...I could sell every copy of TMF that MJ could print.
 
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AnAverageJoe

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This morning was Dad's and Doughnuts at my youngest daughter's class. Out of 13 children, there were 4 dads there. One of which didn't know the name of his child's teacher or how to get to the classroom. Two had to leave within 15 minutes. Myself and 1 other dad stayed the full hour. If I could frame the images of the children in that room...waiting on somebody to show up...I could sell every copy of TMF that MJ could print.
This is so upsetting to me. This is why I read the Millionaire Fastlane and this is why I'm striving to be an entrepreneur.

Those kids don't care that their dads work 50-60 hours a week. They don't care how many promotions they've received, how many people work under them, how many awards they've won, or even how much money he brings home.

They just want their dad to show up and have doughnuts with them. They just want them to be there; they want their time and attention.

I'm going to be sure I can always have doughnuts with my kids.
 

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