Introvert or Extrovert? Identity Crisis!

[clear]

There are people out there who are struggling to figure out their identity. Let's make their quest more fruitful.

Once, I was in their shoes. I had heard all the turmoil over Introvert or Extrovert. I searched day and night for answers. Came across every book, forum, post, yahoo answer etc. It still wasn't satisfactory to me. There was an internal struggle going within me. I've finally liberated myself. And I know my identity. I know which side of the spectrum I'm on. My own realization helped me truly discover for myself. Here's the thought that did it for me...

"I enjoy meaningful things. I hate drudgery, routine, useless things/ things without purpose." For instance, the routine greetings and useless talk from people. It will only make sense to you if you find a concrete and specific example for you in your own life - that relates to this. [SERIOUSLY]

(But I do have the 1% Growth mindset from MJ in mind)

All of you who identify as introverts. What are some thoughts that you have that might help someone truly discover if they're introverts? Post your answers below.

 

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[Ninjakid]

Why does a person need to identify as an introvert or an extrovert? People aren't that binary man

 

[clear]

Why does a person need to identify as an introvert or an extrovert? People aren't that binary man

Although there's a spectrum, you have a preference. Just like you have a dominant hand. Ever get stuck on a really hard math problem? You couldn't solve it for the life of you. Living with an identity crisis is similar. If you live that way, it only makes your life more complicated. But once you understand your own nature. Life becomes much easier.

 

[Ascension]

Ever get stuck on a really hard math problem? You couldn't solve it for the life of you. Living with an identity crisis is similar. If you live that way, it only makes your life more complicated. But once you understand your own nature. Life becomes so much easier and better. Although there's a spectrum, you're either of one. Just like you have a dominant hand. (I feel this message isn't delivering the impact it should)

I disagree.
I can see the appeal of identifying as an extrovert/introvert creative/analytical person etc. It might explain a lot of your past behaviours and be comforting in that way.
But it also makes it easy to write off things as just out of your scope. "Of course I didn't talk to them, of course I didn't make that business contact or get that cute girls number, I'm an introvert, remember?"
You build your identity through a black and white system which tells you what you can and what you can't do.

Now this might not be you. Maybe you use that information about yourself to figure out how you can best improve. You use that information to work around or combat these issues. And if that's the case more power to you.

But I feel you don't need the label of an introvert/extrovert for that, you can just assess your past behaviours and go from there.
Oftentimes it seems to be a cop-out like "I'm just not good at maths, so I don't need to try" or born from a need to belong, in that case a group of people who validates your behaviour

 

[clear]

I disagree.
I can see the appeal of identifying as an extrovert/introvert creative/analytical person etc. It might explain a lot of your past behaviours and be comforting in that way.
But it also makes it easy to write off things as just out of your scope. "Of course I didn't talk to them, of course I didn't make that business contact or get that cute girls number, I'm an introvert, remember?"
You build your identity through a black and white system which tells you what you can and what you can't do.

Now this might not be you. Maybe you use that information about yourself to figure out how you can best improve. You use that information to work around or combat these issues. And if that's the case more power to you.

But I feel you don't need the label of an introvert/extrovert for that, you can just assess your past behaviours and go from there.
Oftentimes it seems to be a cop-out like "I'm just not good at maths, so I don't need to try" or born from a need to belong, in that case a group of people who validates your behaviour

I see what you're saying. My post was about how to maximize your happiness in life. By knowing what you REALLY prefer from your heart. Not justifying away your failures or letting it be an excuse for anything. Some people have a hard time discovering this. They try to be something they're not. Maybe they'd rather read a book than go to a party. They try to fit in. Then they wonder why they don't enjoy the party as much (just a stereotypical cliché example). It's for them.

(But I do have the 1% Growth mindset from MJ in mind)

 

[maverick]

This is just mental masturbation. Learn to flex your style depending on the situation.

 

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[Christopher777]

I'm an ambivert. I can stay at home reading and I can party the same night til dawn. Labels usually don't define humans accurately. Entrepreneurs are usually a mix.

It's most probably just the definition of habitual behavioral patterns.

You can alter your patterns.

Be who you wanna be man.

 

[clear]

Don't apply labels and restrict your life. At various times you may feel various things. But there's a certain nature that's true to you. Which is why you have preferences that evoke good involuntary emotional feelings from you. That's why you prefer them. For ex, you may prefer to eat pizza rather than burgers. And no matter how much you eat burgers and stay OPEN to this possibility. You still have a strong desire to eat pizza. Wouldn't your cravings be much more satisfied if you ate a pizza? Even if you can eat both? See how that works? (Here burger is extroversion and pizza is introversion.)

On the contrary, you don't let this become an excuse or weakness. Suppose there's a food eating competition. You have to eat only burgers. And you really want to win this thing. You've always dreamt of it. What do you do? Do you say, "Nah F*ck that, I love pizza" No! You eat the damn burgers. And win the competition.

This thread was for people struggling to figure out their own natural cravings. Their own nature. And no doubt, it'll help them.

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

 

[clear]

This is just mental masturbation. Learn to flex your style depending on the situation.

I'm an ambivert. I can stay at home reading and I can party the same night til dawn. Labels usually don't define humans accurately. Entrepreneurs are usually a mix.

It's most probably just the definition of habitual behavioral patterns.

You can alter your patterns.

Be who you wanna be man.

On second thought, I generalized things out of context.

It's true. Just be yourself.

 

[ZF Lee]

On second thought, I generalized things out of context.

It's true. Just be yourself.

I'll make it even tougher....
If being an introvert or an extrovert gets them to buy your products or services, by all means subscribe to these personalities as fitting as you see it.
If its not part of the value skew, don't bother.
If I had a iife saving medicine and I were so introverted that I wore a paper-bag on my head instead of a cap, people will still buy from me by the droves because they love their lives more than my personality.

IMO, I think that the personality terms of introvert or extroverts might be just another SCRIPT to keep people in their places and not grow to be free lol.

That being said though, you need both qualities of the introvert and extrovert sides. You need to both express yourself clearly to others while thinking and analyzing deeply and constructively. Even though the richest people on the planet are introverts, they have developed extrovert skills and do extrovert stuff like public speaking and interviews. And it was the MARKET that drove them to do it, not themselves.

 

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[clear]

I'll make it even tougher....
If being an introvert or an extrovert gets them to buy your products or services, by all means subscribe to these personalities as fitting as you see it.
If its not part of the value skew, don't bother.
If I had a iife saving medicine and I were so introverted that I wore a paper-bag on my head instead of a cap, people will still buy from me by the droves because they love their lives more than my personality.

Yep, people give a shit about how you can make their life better above anything else.

IMO, I think that the personality terms of introvert or extroverts might be just another SCRIPT to keep people in their places and not grow to be free lol.

Makes sense.

That being said though, you need both qualities of the introvert and extrovert sides. You need to both express yourself clearly to others while thinking and analyzing deeply and constructively. Even though the richest people on the planet are introverts, they have developed extrovert skills and do extrovert stuff like public speaking and interviews. And it was the MARKET that drove them to do it, not themselves.

Agree 100%. I can see how this is played out in the real world.

 

[Joe Cassandra]

There's a wrong definition of introvert going on in here...

Being introvert doesn't mean you're afraid to talk to people or you can't go out in public without feeling faint.

It simply means you need more time to yourself to recharge and work than an extrovert. Extroverts get their energy from being around people. Introverts from being alone.​

------------------

When I was in school and college...I was most definitely an extrovert. I ticked off my college roommates all four years because I was rarely in the apartment. They enjoyed sitting around watching Tv, playing video games, etc.

The only TV I watched in college was college football on Saturdays. The rest of the time I was going around campus talking to everyone. I'd leave my apartment at 8am for class. Not get back until 11pm (if not later). I played in a band and we traveled around the US. I did theater, improv, inter-mural sports..etc.

Today, I would say I'm more an introvert.

I'm a writer who works alone in a room most of my day. I love doing it. I could do it everyday without seeing anyone else for awhile as I build up my business.

With a 2 year old and a wife while building a business, that's my life.

----------------

I believe you can be both depending on what stage of your life you're in. Your external environment will change you. When I first started a job in a cubicle, I was anxious because I just wanted to talk with others not sit by myself quiet.

Soon, I got used to the quiet. Then, I became more introverted.

Right now, if I wanted to become an extrovert again, I'd need to change my work environment (probably even my career). But, that's not happening...

 

[ZF Lee]

There's a wrong definition of introvert going on in here...

Being introvert doesn't mean you're afraid to talk to people or you can't go out in public without feeling faint.

It simply means you need more time to yourself to recharge and work than an extrovert. Extroverts get their energy from being around people. Introverts from being alone.​

------------------

When I was in school and college...I was most definitely an extrovert. I ticked off my college roommates all four years because I was rarely in the apartment. They enjoyed sitting around watching Tv, playing video games, etc.

The only TV I watched in college was college football on Saturdays. The rest of the time I was going around campus talking to everyone. I'd leave my apartment at 8am for class. Not get back until 11pm (if not later). I played in a band and we traveled around the US. I did theater, improv, inter-mural sports..etc.

Today, I would say I'm more an introvert.

I'm a writer who works alone in a room most of my day. I love doing it. I could do it everyday without seeing anyone else for awhile as I build up my business.

With a 2 year old and a wife while building a business, that's my life.

----------------

I believe you can be both depending on what stage of your life you're in. Your external environment will change you. When I first started a job in a cubicle, I was anxious because I just wanted to talk with others not sit by myself quiet.

Soon, I got used to the quiet. Then, I became more introverted.

Right now, if I wanted to become an extrovert again, I'd need to change my work environment (probably even my career). But, that's not happening...

Yes, you are right.
Even today, I need lots of time to 'recharge' so to speak. But that time is VERY important for me. Otherwise, I might never be able to focus in later conversations with outside friends or customers.
However, there are a few people whom I do draw energy from, so to speak. Fastlaners here, my girl (although she's in SCRIPT prison of college...not talking very much), a few individuals I have found to be more receptive to my Fastlane ideas...
And yes, by all means, change your work environment if you have to. For instance, I came here and I was greatly encouraged to contribute more and express myself more...lots of great folks here, which many people take YEARS to find in college or in their jobs.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Why does a person need to identify as an introvert or an extrovert?

Intro/extroversion has been pretty much genetically proven. Read the book QUIET, by Cain.

It helped me be comfortable with my introversion and understand that society is extroversionally driven.

I believe it is important to follow a path that aligns with your genetics.

If you're 7 feet tall, genetics says you should play basketball.
If you're built like a brick shithouse, genetics say you should play football.

Why deny your genetics?

My introversion is WHY I have ZERO desire to be a guru, ZERO desire to be another Gary V or Tim F, and ZERO desire for fame and recognition.

If I pursued such an existence, it would not be authentic, although it might sell more books.

I'd rather be true to my self, rather than true to my wallet.

 

[ZF Lee]

My introversion is WHY I have ZERO desire to be a guru, ZERO desire to be another Gary V or Tim F, and ZERO desire for fame and recognition.
.

Yeah right....
I'm going to admit that much of your argumentative writing styles in TMF and UNSCRIPTED have seeped into mine.
Even on Quora when I do Q and As, I find myself using stories just as you did in TMF , in the case of the Chuma story.
Same goes for critical thinking. You have become a guru for me in those areas, namely writing and critical thinking, even though you didn't mentor me directly.

You are already being interviewed just as Gary V or Tim F are. You already have fame and recognition...not only among millions, but among the few who impact millions. And it was all because you listened to the market, the need for a no BS wealth strategy.

Even though the richest people on the planet are introverts, they have developed extrovert skills and do extrovert stuff like public speaking and interviews. And it was the MARKET that drove them to do it, not themselves.

 

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[Dark Water]

There's a wrong definition of introvert going on in here...

Being introvert doesn't mean you're afraid to talk to people or you can't go out in public without feeling faint.

It simply means you need more time to yourself to recharge and work than an extrovert. Extroverts get their energy from being around people. Introverts from being alone.​

Came into pretty much say this, but you already did.

The only TV I watched in college was college football on Saturdays. The rest of the time I was going around campus talking to everyone. I'd leave my apartment at 8am for class. Not get back until 11pm (if not later). I played in a band and we traveled around the US. I did theater, improv, inter-mural sports..etc.

Today, I would say I'm more an introvert.

Funny enough, I can agree. College I was never in my room, trying to maximize time around campus to meet new people, get out there, get stuff done. I would power through mundane tasks like making food/showering so I could be out and have my presence somewhere - walking to class always bumped into a few people for a short conversation. Nowadays? Complete opposite, for example I head to the gym and I'm reluctant to bump into someone I know as I just want to get in, get out and do my thing.

 

[Joe Cassandra]

Funny enough, I can agree. College I was never in my room, trying to maximize time around campus to meet new people, get out there, get stuff done. I would power through mundane tasks like making food/showering so I could be out and have my presence somewhere - walking to class always bumped into a few people for a short conversation. Nowadays? Complete opposite, for example I head to the gym and I'm reluctant to bump into someone I know as I just want to get in, get out and do my thing.

HAHA! This is me too. We just moved out of apartments into a new house. At the old apartments, I was a weirdo because I'd be working out at like 10am. All the retired folks would be in there chugging along on the treadmill pumping 5 pounders. [I kid as they were all in terrific shape for being 70-80].

But, they would just wanna talk, talk , talk...I'm sure they didn't have many people to talk to, so I obliged. But, was always eager to get back to work alone.

For me, working alone is great.

With that said, it's also crippling because I get lost in my head alot. I don't have others to bounce ideas around like you would on a team, etc. Some sort of echo-chamber in your head.

My wife (also a prior extrovert) stays at home with our 2 year old. She gets the same way. She finds it harder than ever to meet new people and strike up conversations. In college, she was a wizard at it.

Our goal this year is to make two couple-friends that we see at least 4x a year. It's healthy for our marriage and our social skills. (Not that being introverted is unhealthy. But, we really are extroverts, turned introverts. Our DNA is towards extroversion, but our environment is introverted activities. We realize it's a necessity to do extroverted things.)​

DISCLAIMER: I may have just made up science so no I don't have proof of any statements. This is all simple observations of our life.

 

[Carnage]

Wherever you are on the spectrum, embrace it and use it to your full advantage....but don't let it control your every move. Just because you're an introvert doesnt mean that you cant talk to ppl to help your business.
Mj has said that he leans towards introversion. The only time I see MJ on youtube is when he's doing interviews and promoting his books, then he disapppears...but I dont think we will ever see him do a daily vlog with some cheesy music in the background.

 

[GMSI7D]

All of you who identify as introverts. What are some thoughts that you have that might help someone truly discover if they're introverts? Post your answers below.

what ???

what's the point here ?

introverts find their energy in silence while extroverts find energy in the crowd

introverts don't spend their energy while extroverts are party machines


by the way, in MBTI test there are funny questions

for example :

" reading a book is more interesting than going to a party , yes or no ? " or something like that

you can predict your future with your answer

you choose the book : you are among the leaders or you have the potential

you choose the party : you are a regular guy, a paycheck away from broke . a nobody

 

[Christopher777]

what ???

you choose the book : you are among the leaders or you have the potential

you choose the party : you are a regular guy, a paycheck away from broke . a nobody

Not really. I've met interesting and successful people in parties. This doesn't just apply on parties. It's literally everywhere. Meeting people is too easy. Building a network is a no-brainer. There's just a point where being with too many people for such a long period of time where I feel "the emotional drain" beginning to pull me in all sorts of directions. Then that's when I pull back and be alone, read and work.

People are interesting. People are smart. People are stupid. People are scary. People are crazy. All sorts of people out there.

Nevertheless, you have to learn to be with and work with people.

 

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[Carnage]

what ???

what's the point here ?

introverts find their energy in silence while extroverts find energy in the crowd

introverts don't spend their energy while extroverts are party machines


by the way, in MBTI test there are funny questions

for example :

" reading a book is more interesting than going to a party , yes or no ? " or something like that

you can predict your future with your answer

you choose the book : you are among the leaders or you have the potential

you choose the party : you are a regular guy, a paycheck away from broke . a nobody

There are loads of successful extraverts, as well as introverts. To say that someone who prefers to party is gonna live paycheck to paycheck is just ridiculous.

 

[jsk29]

what ???

what's the point here ?

introverts find their energy in silence while extroverts find energy in the crowd

introverts don't spend their energy while extroverts are party machines


by the way, in MBTI test there are funny questions

for example :

" reading a book is more interesting than going to a party , yes or no ? " or something like that

you can predict your future with your answer

you choose the book : you are among the leaders or you have the potential

you choose the party : you are a regular guy, a paycheck away from broke . a nobody

What if it's a book party?

 

[clear]

So, your environment can change your introversion/extroversion.

But, genetically you have an introverted/extroverted DNA that's true to you.

And if you align/maximize your life/activities to what you're genetically predisposed to. You'll be much happier.

Thank you for your valuable contributions fastlaners.

 

[Ninjakid]

Intro/extroversion has been pretty much genetically proven. Read the book QUIET, by Cain.

It helped me be comfortable with my introversion and understand that society is extroversionally driven.

I believe it is important to follow a path that aligns with your genetics.

If you're 7 feet tall, genetics says you should play basketball.
If you're built like a brick shithouse, genetics say you should play football.

Why deny your genetics?

My introversion is WHY I have ZERO desire to be a guru, ZERO desire to be another Gary V or Tim F, and ZERO desire for fame and recognition.

If I pursued such an existence, it would not be authentic, although it might sell more books.

I'd rather be true to my self, rather than true to my wallet.

Both genetics and environment play a part in a person's personality. Even with genetics, they can by dormant or active depending on the type of environment a person is in.

Most people have a mix of introverted and extroverted traits, but generally have more of one than another. It's good for people to know where their strengths are dominant, but I think a person shouldn't ignore other strengths they may have.

For me I seem to have an exact balance of extroverted and introverted traits. I can't figure out if I'm one or the other and I've given up trying.

Although there's a spectrum, you have a preference. Just like you have a dominant hand. Ever get stuck on a really hard math problem? You couldn't solve it for the life of you. Living with an identity crisis is similar. If you live that way, it only makes your life more complicated. But once you understand your own nature. Life becomes much easier.

I have, and in fact I used to suck at basically every math problem. I found a really good teacher, practiced, and then I got better (I still suck at math though). I find with identity crises, trying to label yourself makes even more confusion, but maybe it's different for others.

 

[BrooklynHustle]

Not trying to be facetious (or a dick) here...

but why does one need to know this?

Or better yet how does this help me to be more effective if I figure it out?

Don't most people lie somewhere on the spectrum with tendencies of both?

There are people out there who are struggling to figure out their identity. Let's make their quest more fruitful.

Once, I was in their shoes. I had heard all the turmoil over Introvert or Extrovert. I searched day and night for answers. Came across every book, forum, post, yahoo answer etc. It still wasn't satisfactory to me. There was an internal struggle going within me. I've finally liberated myself. And I know my identity. I know which side of the spectrum I'm on. My own realization helped me truly discover for myself. Here's the thought that did it for me...

"I enjoy meaningful things. I hate drudgery, routine, useless things/ things without purpose." For instance, the routine greetings and useless talk from people. It will only make sense to you if you find a concrete and specific example for you in your own life - that relates to this. [SERIOUSLY]

(But I do have the 1% Growth mindset from MJ in mind)

All of you who identify as introverts. What are some thoughts that you have that might help someone truly discover if they're introverts? Post your answers below.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[BrooklynHustle]

Intro/extroversion has been pretty much genetically proven. Read the book QUIET, by Cain.

It helped me be comfortable with my introversion and understand that society is extroversionally driven.

I believe it is important to follow a path that aligns with your genetics.

If you're 7 feet tall, genetics says you should play basketball.
If you're built like a brick shithouse, genetics say you should play football.

Why deny your genetics?

My introversion is WHY I have ZERO desire to be a guru, ZERO desire to be another Gary V or Tim F, and ZERO desire for fame and recognition.

If I pursued such an existence, it would not be authentic, although it might sell more books.

I'd rather be true to my self, rather than true to my wallet.

Guess that kind of answers my question

 

[clear]

To quote a book...

"You are a unique individual — different from all other human beings. No one else has the exact same nature that you have; no one else reacts to things in exactly the way you do. No one else sees the world exactly as you do. No one can dictate what your identity should be; you are the best qualified person to discover what it is."

 

[Success Forever]

I believe the majority of people in the world are actually introverts yet even though your natural state may be an introvert it is possible for you to master traits of an extrovert and vice versa.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

Extrovert = gains energy being around people, loses energy being alone.

Introvert = gains energy being alone, loses energy around people.

I think the reason to know if you're an introvert or extrovert is so that you can learn how to better handle the energy draining side.

Like me, I lose my mind when alone. I go nuts. Crazy. Bored, depressed, irritable, angry.

Knowing that about myself, I am actively trying to be alone better and reduce the energy drain being alone gives me.