If you could only pass on one life lesson to everyone on this forum, what would it be?

[Suzanne Bazemore]

We tend to make a big deal out of things. Life is an experience. Relax, enjoy, and move ahead.

I really like this statement, because if I think like this, it will help me remember to enjoy the journey and not make it a chase.

 

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[Bonelli]

Don't think your problems are new and exclusive to you! A person in the past has been through the same thing.
(You can learn from them through history and classic books!).

Bônus: Take a look, just a look, at Meditation by Marcus Aurelius and you'll know what I'm talking about when I say they've been through the same worries and problems we do.

 

[Frank H.]

Put your full effort into whatever the universe gives to you!

Another one is to stop having likes/dislikes and be neutral on most issues. This will make you more mysterious.

 

[SeanC]

Do more less dumb things.

 

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[Johnny boy]

You are unimportant-er than you think.

Your problems are small. Your obstacles are small. Your goals are small.

But you think they're big because they're yours.

My one lesson is to remove the attachment with yourself and see yourself from the honest perspective of someone else. Not "me", but "him". To see what others see because it is what others see that really changes anything. Want to sell something? Somebody else has to buy it. Want to date a girl? She must like something about you. Everything the world has to offer comes from the world so we must learn to see reality as the world sees it, not just as we see it.

It will allow you to empathize with people, make logical decisions, see the truth, be a better salesman, be more charismatic and attractive, be bold, have less anxiety and stress, worry less about the future. It will allow you to be like water and fit any situation. It will calm your mind and make everything you do twice as effective.

We all do the same thing because we live in the same world and unless something changes, we will continue to respond in a predictable and similar way to others. That is unless there is a change in our thinking or environment. And I cannot rely on my environment to change itself for me. How arrogant would that be?... I must change my thinking.

It will help you be bold and have less anxiety. You will realize that you are just one person. Your impact on this world will fade away. Even the universe will eventually end. It all turns to dust and we all die. You are small and nothing really matters, so nothing is worth worrying too much over. Is it really so bad to risk something? It's all going away regardless.

It will allow you to be more successful in business. If you can get inside the head of someone else that isn't you, then you can find a way to succeed. It's what I do with any plan to market or sell a product or service or how to grow any type of business. I put myself in the shoes of the customer, client or whoever is on the other end of the deal, and I think for a long time about what it's like being them. Where do they spend their time? How do they like to communicate? Where is their attention? Where will it be in 2 years? Is there some sort of hidden angle to take that will make everything easier?

But we live in a world full of narcissists. These narcissists are not people who focus on their appearance. Or people who focus on building up an instagram page. Or people who are confident. The narcissists are the 95+ percent of people who play it safe, stay in the lines, do what they're told, regurgitate cliche phrases they heard somewhere else, and stay in their small little worlds and live the boring life of a perpetual consumer until they die. Those are the narcissists and they are always afraid. They cannot get outside of their tiny little heads and their tiny little world to see how small they are, and that everything they want could be theirs if they learned to see from the outside in, instead of the inside out. Producer, not the consumer. The show, not the audience. "That guy", not "me".

 

[Tanu1234]

I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.

No two people on this forum have lived their lives in precisely the same way.
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...

So, here's your platform.

I'll kick things off.

If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:

You are not your thoughts.

Trite? Perhaps.

But powerful? Definitely.

One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.

In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they think that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...

But these thoughts are just that.
Thoughts.
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.

Why do I know this?

(Warning - possible overshare incoming)

Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.

At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.

By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.

Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:
How can I overcome this challenge?
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?
How do I know it won't be worse next time?

Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...

But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.

And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.

I was not my thoughts.

Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.

This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).

This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only you choose what that response will be.

You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.

(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)

I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.

When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own.

*******

Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!

Self love and self acceptance is key.

If you lack self love, no matter how much you achieve, you will feel failure.

Build strong foundation within and then grow.[emoji3]

( Reference book to read - how to heal your life )

I recently gave this book as gift to my friend and she kicked his abuser husband within 6 months. Really amazing and eye opening book.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[happybhoy]

You don't need permission.

 

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[ideasunlimited1]

You are not your mistakes.

Dreams are for sleeping, goals are for those who are awake.

Put the "ISH" in ambition: hustle, but with your own personality and purpose.

 

[ChrisGav]

He who says he can, and he who says he can't are both usually right.

 

[Pat D. Rick]

Thought this might fit in here pretty well....

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyLFl-O3L0g

 

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[Ocean Man]

I don’t remember how it exactly goes, but choose a goal let’s say, having $10,000,000 in the bank. Instead of the goal being $10,000,000 make it $25,000,000. I’m not sure how it works but you’ll get to at least $10,000,000 and maybe more because your goal is $25,000,000.

 

[DigitalMastery]

Be always open-minded for the new perspectives, always listen what people has to say even if you don't agree with them because there are golden nuggets hidden between the lines

When you think you already know "enough" you actually know nothing.

 

[Teo_NK]

I got a quick look at the tread and I am kind of disappointed, most of these can be found in some lame page on Instagram, so I will give something more personal.

Listen to the people ha have lived much longer.

I don't mean doing what they say but rather search for what kind of mistakes ware made in the past, in many of their stories you can find a lesson which they don't see.

 

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[YoungPadawan]

You've got one life to live. Go big or go home.

 

[ryanbleau]

1.There's always time for lubricant.
2. never use a hammer when a screwdriver is called for
3. Honesty is always the best policy except when on trial for murder
4. Dont leave a fat corpse
5. Cutlery goes from the outside in.

 

[WJK]

I got a quick look at the tread and I am kind of disappointed, most of these can be found in some lame page on Instagram, so I will give something more personal.

Listen to the people ha have lived much longer.

I don't mean doing what they say but rather search for what kind of mistakes ware made in the past, in many of their stories you can find a lesson which they don't see.

Sorry that you're disappointed. The greatest truths are elegant in their simplicity.

 

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[ilumenow]

finding out what motivates me will certainly help me in the long run. enjoyed this helpful Thread!

 

[flower_girl]

As someone who has battled some pretty serious health issues for a number of years I found the following quote from the movie The Shawshank Redemption to be particularly helpful.

"You either get busy livin' or you get busy dying".

If I find myself starting to feel depressed telling myself to "get busy livin" usually helps me to do just that.

It's about focussing on what you can do and doing it - not dwelling on what you can't.

 

[happiness2go]

Not to feel entitled.

Understand that in order to GET something, you must first put in the necessary EFFORT.

When that connection is missing in your mind, then you have a serious problem. You will do things for which you haven't earned yourself the right of doing just yet.

Examples:

- Getting married using your parents money
- Buying a car using a loan that you can't yet afford
- Quitting your job to build a business with no plan how to pay the bills

 

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[Elsa]

I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.

No two people on this forum have lived their lives in precisely the same way.
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...

So, here's your platform.

I'll kick things off.

If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:

You are not your thoughts.

Trite? Perhaps.

But powerful? Definitely.

One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.

In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they think that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...

But these thoughts are just that.
Thoughts.
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.

Why do I know this?

(Warning - possible overshare incoming)

Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.

At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.

By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.

Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:
How can I overcome this challenge?
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?
How do I know it won't be worse next time?

Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...

But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.

And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.

I was not my thoughts.

Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.

This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).

This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only you choose what that response will be.

You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.

(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)

I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.

When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own.

*******

Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!

Fully agree on "you are not your thoughts". As a psychologist this is the best advice I could ever give to my patients. Of course, there is a process for them to follow in order to get better. There's process everywhere.

A lesson I have learnt in life is to not label your projects as "dreams" but as "goals". You see something happens depending on the way we communicate with ourselves: when we say a dream it seems far far away from us to achieve, while if we present it as a goal, we become more in control and do whatever we can to achieve it.

Now, I am not a millionaire, but for my age, in the country I live in, and seeing how others are doing in the same field, I'm exploding the local market (I thank God for that). Of course, I have other goals that I'm working on.
Something where I was really able to relate with DeMarco, is that I never subscribed to the "sheep" mentality (no offense, it's just a choice for those who like it). I was raised by parents who told me to study this and that and work in a government job, and get married and have kids and all the bull**** we're sold throughout our teenage years. I never believed in that, and would always come up with snarky remarks. So in the end I opened my own business against my parents' will, and all their fears (as if I had much to lose). It was difficult, but it was my goal. So don't listen to society and don't listen to the thoughts because they are a product of society. And most importantly, what differentiates a dream for a goal, is your decision. There are no dreams only goals if you decide to make them so.

Kind regards
Xo Elsa

 

[Rawseed]

1. Never eat yellow snow.

2. Never compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Focus today's thoughts and actions on being a better you tomorrow.

 

[ChrisV]

Everything can be learnt.

Apparently not grammar.

 

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[Esquire]

The life lesson I would have passed on to myself at 18:

Women are principally attracted to money, fame and power. But above all else - women are attracted to money.

They are biologically hard wired to seek out protectors and providers.

The characteristics men tend to focus on - physical appearance and sex - are not entirely inconsequential to women. Going to the gym and taking pride in your appearance certainly helps.

... but as a practical matter, these attributes only play a small role in their decision making.

If you want to move to the front of the line in the dating world ... you need to stop thinking like a guy ... and start focusing on what matters most to women.

Making money.

Make money ... And the women will follow.

 

[guy93777]

The best life lesson i have learned so far ( i am 43 ) comes from the 48 laws of power.

This is followed by a lot of guys : politicians, freemasons, initiates , copywriters, leaders, social engineers, persuaders ...

Freemasons and initiates will be punished in case they don't respect this simple rule.

(i am guilty of ignoring this rule on this forum sometimes and when this happens, i am immediatly punished. this is the law at work )


this is so simple and yet so true : we have to follow the current norms, accepted truths and so on, even if they are 100 % stupid and inaccurate


here it is :

View: https://youtu.be/pqph3MYA_pA






.

 

[Mattie]

When obstacles and Adversity arrives roll with it and move through the most painful experiences of life, and face your deepest fears.

 

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[Alz]

I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.

No two people on this forum have lived their lives in precisely the same way.
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...

So, here's your platform.

I'll kick things off.

If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:

You are not your thoughts.

Trite? Perhaps.

But powerful? Definitely.

One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.

In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they think that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...

But these thoughts are just that.
Thoughts.
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.

Why do I know this?

(Warning - possible overshare incoming)

Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.

At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.

By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.

Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:
How can I overcome this challenge?
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?
How do I know it won't be worse next time?

Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...

But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.

And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.

I was not my thoughts.

Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.

This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).

This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only you choose what that response will be.

You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.

(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)

I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.

When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own.

*******

Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!

Take extreme ownership of your thoughts, choices and actions. You are where you are because of your choices.

 

[Speculatooor]

The life lesson I would have passed on to myself at 18:

Women are principally attracted to money, fame and power. But above all else - women are attracted to money.

They are biologically hard wired to seek out protectors and providers.

The characteristics men tend to focus on - physical appearance and sex - are not entirely inconsequential to women. Going to the gym and taking pride in your appearance certainly helps.

... but as a practical matter, these attributes only play a small role in their decision making.

If you want to move to the front of the line in the dating world ... you need to stop thinking like a guy ... and start focusing on what matters most to women.

Making money.

Make money ... And the women will follow.

This is simply false. They don't like you as a person, just your money. Is that what you want?

"If you use money to attract women, you will attract women who like money".

Yes, they are biologically programmed to seek providers for raising successful offspring, but the catch is that they are also biologically programmed to seek the best DNA for their offspring.

You think women find Warren Buffet 'hot'?

To become a full-rounded attractive mate you need other things, like; status, looks, power, etc. The most important of all is behaviour; like self-respect, dominance, charisma, game, etc.

 

[meridian_blue]

There was one realization I made when I was in college that made me rethink my behaviors, my habits, and my self-image. And that is that realization that who we are is solely defined by what we do. That means our personality isn't static, and who we are can change if we change our habits.

That also means we need to redefine how we describe ourselves and others. For example that means that...

A generous person = a person who frequently gives

A smart person = a person who frequently engages in thoughtful pursuits

A sociable person = a person who frequently strikes up new conversations

A creative person = a person who frequently engages in creative pursuits

The beauty of this truth is that it eliminates many of the self-destructive thoughts we hold about ourselves. If you feel that you are lacking in some aspect, change it! Wish you were more sociable? Go out of your comfort zone and strike up new conversation. Wish you were smarter? Read and write and think about difficult problems. Do this repeatedly and you will change the nature of who you are. Who we are is simply a collection of our personal traits, and traits are simply that what we repeatedly do. If you wish you were somehow different than the person you are today , there's nothing stopping you from cultivating the traits that you seek. Sure it may be harder for some than for others to change deeply embedded habits, but there is nothing inherent about you that prevents you from becoming the person you want to be.

The flip-side of this is equally true - and the reason I think few people want to come to grips with this truth. If you never give to others, don't call yourself generous. If you've never started a business, don't call yourself an entrepreneur. It's often much easier to dismiss our shortcomings as biological than face the reality that we responsible for who we are, and the work we need to do to change ourselves.

 

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[Esquire]

This is simply false. They don't like you as a person, just your money. Is that what you want?

"If you use money to attract women, you will attract women who like money".

Yes, they are biologically programmed to seek providers for raising successful offspring, but the catch is that they are also biologically programmed to seek the best DNA for their offspring.

You think women find Warren Buffet 'hot'?

To become a full-rounded attractive mate you need other things, like; status, looks, power, etc. The most important of all is behaviour; like self-respect, dominance, charisma, game, etc.

I can guarantee you ... Warren Buffett could EASILY rope in more hot women than I could ever hope to do in a lifetime.

You think Melania thought Donald Trump was hot? Or the playboy bunnies thought Hugh was a stud? Nope. Money changes everything.

I'm not saying all those other qualities are meaningless. They are all well and good. And can only serve to enhance your attractiveness.

But when it comes to attracting women ... cash is king.

And, for the record, I have nothing against "gold diggers." I think "gold diggers" are smart entrepreneurs. You might be amazed what "marrying" your way into the fastlane can do for your standard of living. More power to them.

 

[Worldisyours]

dont be cheap.