How to counter negativity from immediate family members(Script)?

[Varun]

Really? Man, you must take control of your life





Man, you are indirectly playing the victim role you imposed on yourself.Your culture might have an influence on it but does it really stop you from taking control of your life?Or are you selling yourself BS excuse?Just think about it.It doesn't matter whether it is parents or someone else that push you and try to influence you to put you into script or the normal life, because you have absolute control over your life. Realize that you choose everything and you are the one who pays for the consequence of it Or you are the one who reward from what you have chosen .

There's only two options.Either you accept the responsibility for your own life and give zero sh*t on what others think or you deny the responsibility and just be one of those scripted folks.

If you want the unscripted or simply put an extraordinary life bad enough you ain't going to submit to anyone who says otherwise.It's just simple as that.

No, definitely not doing that. I fully agree with what you say.

 

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[MB2]

No, definitely not doing that. I fully agree with what you say.

Good.

That's the way to go.

If you want to be unlike most people then you have to take full responsibility and control of your life for your own betterment.Taking 1000% responsibility is what the people who have won the life had done.Instead of looking outwards to find someone to blame or to put their responsibility they looked right in to their own self.And that my friend is the first step towards the success.

You just simply have to understand that your parents have no idea what so ever about this business of fastlane.Is your father a self made millionaire? If yes then you should follow his advice.If not just simply learn from his good character traits and leave out the bad ones.But fundamental truth prevails, the truth that being a good old self employed man is the first step to being riches.

So don't burn up things with your father nor submit to their innocent lies.You just do your own thing which is hopefully a fastlane venture.Let him to be the spectator.Talk with actions and action only.

Have a good day!

 

[Xeon]

I'm from India, recently joined the family business. My two uncles are supportive, but my father and mother are heavily against it. We have retail and distribution both.

My father's been telling me things like how the business has no future, it will split later, bigger players are coming here(Walmart etc.), its a dirty business full of backstabbers etc. There's been a constant barrage from day one. At one point he flat out said there is no growth here. I've been resistant to it primarily because I see some good signs: the economy is expanding, market penetration is still low, entry is tough(margins are thin) etc. The knowledge from TMF and Unscripted has really helped me in this regard. There's competition in every field, and if I think logically I'm convinced that it is still a worthwhile choice. However, negative statements like that do tend to weigh on one's mind.

Anyone with similar stories or advice? My father just wants me to be a lawyer. I've done law from one of the top 3 institutes in my country(India) but I don't want to become one because I know its a slowlane venture. I've mentioned automation and some other things to him. However, he seems adamant on not considering them because of his desire to make me take up anything else apart from entrepreneurship. He just simply denies it with blanket statements like the ones mentioned in paragraph 2. As of now, I do not have any capital of my own so I can't build a store myself. 2 of my brothers want to join the business in the future as well, just thought I'd mention that.

Simple. Keep your business top secret and let the cat out of the bag only after your monthly profits is more than a top lawyer's.

On the other hand, I sometimes wonder if top earning lawyers and doctors = Fastlane.
They earn easily mid-5 digits a month, some even more. Easily millionaires and multi-millionaires....

 

[sparechange]

Doctors can make 7 figures but keep in mind they are spending half theyre life in school while being stressed 24/7

 

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[Varun]

Simple. Keep your business top secret and let the cat out of the bag only after your monthly profits is more than a top lawyer's.

On the other hand, I sometimes wonder if top earning lawyers and doctors = Fastlane.
They earn easily mid-5 digits a month, some even more. Easily millionaires and multi-millionaires....

I thought the same thing but then one thing occurred to me: their income is still attached to their time. No time consequently for other ventures etc.

 

[Varun]

M

Good.

That's the way to go.

If you want to be unlike most people then you have to take full responsibility and control of your life for your own betterment.Taking 1000% responsibility is what the people who have won the life had done.Instead of looking outwards to find someone to blame or to put their responsibility they looked right in to their own self.And that my friend is the first step towards the success.

You just simply have to understand that your parents have no idea what so ever about this business of fastlane.Is your father a self made millionaire? If yes then you should follow his advice.If not just simply learn from his good character traits and leave out the bad ones.But fundamental truth prevails, the truth that being a good old self employed man is the first step to being riches.

So don't burn up things with your father nor submit to their innocent lies.You just do your own thing which is hopefully a fastlane venture.Let him to be the spectator.Talk with actions and action only.

Have a good day!

My father is a self-made millionaire, but the script is still strong! His business method is old fashioned, he sits at the store every day, and it is completely attached to his time. According to him the only way to get rich is to do law, slog, then eventually I'll be rich.

Of course retail is relatively sloewr compared to, lets say, a finished app which becomes popular. However it still has the capacity to become automated, and reduce my indentured time.

 

[Niptuck MD]

Businessmen make more than lawyers dad.

Businessmen employ lawyers, dad
lol

 

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[Varun]

Businessmen employ lawyers, dad
lol

Exactly. I said that word for word haha.

It has also been suggested that I sit for GMAT. I get that its a stamp of approval, and when I come back it may help in raising funds later(if I do it from one of the top colleges). But that's it. I don't know the number of entrepreneurs from the top universities who start their own businesses and are successful afterwards.. but I do know that most of them end up working for someone else. Sales is what counts, bottom line. But there may be other benefits from GMAT I don't know about yet.

Also, are you from India as well? Just looked at your username.

 

[Everyman]

You can continue to love the assholes in your life without respecting their negative opinions. Some opinions might come from jealousy, some might come from ignorance, and some might just come from negative people. It doesn't matter.

A few years back my mother called me to tell me how excited she was that my 50 something year old brother went back to college. That's where she gets her esteem from... Her own slow lane credential. Fast forward to today, my brother is still in college, still in the same job, and nothing has changed. Meanwhile I built and sold a company. She's still disappointed that I haven't finished college studies. Nevermind the fact that I volunteer to teach MBA students entrepreneurship.

These both are great. I thought that 'my friends' will respect me more, or, at least ask me questions 'how did you do it?'. Nope. They won't change even if you make tons of gold or do something remarkable.

Curious why you think “being a lawyer” is slowlane?

I thought the same thing. While working on cases might be slowlane. Improving something within the company/inventing something that can help other lawyers/people needing lawyer help with a system could in theory be fastlane. MJ worked in a slowlane business but used this knowledge to build something more on top of it.

Do our answers change because the OP lives in India where the family culture is MUCH MUCH different than in the west?

This is one of the biggest things I have learnt from your books. There is a huge gap between countries in terms of culture. Even in 'the west' the differences are huge. I am not saying to surrender but I am an immigrant and it's easier for a 'native' to do business here than for an immigrant (not impossible, just slightly different/difficult).

Simple. Keep your business top secret and let the cat out of the bag only after your monthly profits is more than a top lawyer's.

And he will still hear 'you should have become a lawyer. I am so disappointed...' Live for yourself and accept that the closest people will reject what you do.

 

[Varun]

These both are great. I thought that 'my friends' will respect me more, or, at least ask me questions 'how did you do it?'. Nope. They won't change even if you make tons of gold or do something remarkable.



I thought the same thing. While working on cases might be slowlane. Improving something within the company/inventing something that can help other lawyers/people needing lawyer help with a system could in theory be fastlane. MJ worked in a slowlane business but used this knowledge to build something more on top of it.



This is one of the biggest things I have learnt from your books. There is a huge gap between countries in terms of culture. Even in 'the west' the differences are huge. I am not saying to surrender but I am an immigrant and it's easier for a 'native' to do business here than for an immigrant (not impossible, just slightly different/difficult).



And he will still hear 'you should have become a lawyer. I am so disappointed...' Live for yourself and accept that the closest people will reject what you do.

Nice! Love the quote at the end.

I thought about it as well(developing something in the lawyer sphere). This field however has certain advantages:

1. I have access to 3 people(dad, 2 uncles) with domain expertise already.

2. Growth is already happening, I need to study it and improve upon something that already has a solid foundation(we are debt free).

3. I cannot ignore process. Even for developing a product in law, I will still need to acquire some level of domain expertise. I want to use the scaffolding provided by experts to learn quicker and improve quicker. I actually looked into the presence of mentors in successful peoples' lives. Most of them had at least 1. Here I have 3. In law(intensely competitive field), I will have to work hard to find someone who really has my best interests at heart.

This is even after keeping value offered in mind - don't think people will hesitate to leech value and give nothing in return. People are extremely competitive here, in law, even more so.

I don't wish to paint a negative picture of the profession, but here I have certain advantages that I just don't in other areas. What do you think? Are these reasons valid?

 

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[Niptuck MD]

Also, are you from India as well? Just looked at your username.

No, just have roots back there. I have spent time setting up factories there though.

 

[Everyman]

I don't wish to paint a negative picture of the profession, but here I have certain advantages that I just don't in other areas. What do you think? Are these reasons valid?

You should do what you think and feel is more reasonable. It seems it's not the law.

 

[Nik@16]

I'm from India, recently joined the family business. My two uncles are supportive, but my father and mother are heavily against it. We have retail and distribution both.

My father's been telling me things like how the business has no future, it will split later, bigger players are coming here(Walmart etc.), its a dirty business full of backstabbers etc. There's been a constant barrage from day one. At one point he flat out said there is no growth here. I've been resistant to it primarily because I see some good signs: the economy is expanding, market penetration is still low, entry is tough(margins are thin) etc. The knowledge from TMF and Unscripted has really helped me in this regard. There's competition in every field, and if I think logically I'm convinced that it is still a worthwhile choice. However, negative statements like that do tend to weigh on one's mind.

Anyone with similar stories or advice? My father just wants me to be a lawyer. I've done law from one of the top 3 institutes in my country(India) but I don't want to become one because I know its a slowlane venture. I've mentioned automation and some other things to him. However, he seems adamant on not considering them because of his desire to make me take up anything else apart from entrepreneurship. He just simply denies it with blanket statements like the ones mentioned in paragraph 2. As of now, I do not have any capital of my own so I can't build a store myself. 2 of my brothers want to join the business in the future as well, just thought I'd mention that.

There are shitty lawyers in India. Why don't you focus in providing better services to people. If you're from National Law University , You have higher chances of getting funding in India . I think that starting a productocracy business in legal space is a much much better idea .
My 0.02 cents.

 

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[The Abundant Man]

Just ignore your parents. Respect your parents but be your own man.

 

[NewManRising]

Yeah, I am sick and tired of this shit too. Anytime I tell my family about good things I am doing or that my mind is on a business they inject pessimistic comments. Everyone I have ever known my whole life has been broke and stupid with money. People constantly ask about what I am doing for work. A month ago I moved to another state and visited my cousin. I ended up living there for a month. And the whole time he was lecturing me on how I should live my life. Telling me to get a job, where I SHOULD work, etc. And I am thinking in my mind, this is coming from a guy with 60k debt and working as an assistant manager at a grocery store.

The script is everywhere. Not only family but society tries to impose it on you. Once you step out of the box you get people looking at you strange, saying stupid crap, and just acting weird. It's funny how you're viewed as strange by other people when in reality they are the ones who are strange and clueless.

As others have said, you just have to remove yourself from those environments. Limit as much contact as possible around scripted people. I am understanding that it is a MUST to be around unscripted folks.

The problem with me is that in the past I was not in an environment where I could work on fastlane ideas. I was nagged daily about getting a job. But not only that, what jobs I should take and what to do with my money and the whole bit.

Never ever listen to anyone who has not been successful and has no money. Recently, I had to yell at someone and set them straight after pressuring me and nagging me about what I should be doing on a daily basis. I reminded them that each person is financially, mentally, emotionally, and physically different. Everyone is on their own path and at a different place in life. I told them to accept that fact or I would be removing myself from their presence for good. I let them know all I wanted was my autonomy and that it was not their job to worry about me.

The thing you have to remember that if you're not given the time and space to build your dreams it'll never happen. Most people have been forced to live life others wanted for them. Create a boundary around you and keep scripted folks away from you.