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Family members demanding (Loans and favours)

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lunga ngcobo

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I know one of the greatest things you can do if you have extra money is to help family members but sometimes it becomes a problem.

Here's my story...


After my dad and mom passed, we were left with nothing. Not even food to eat. I once ate a single tomato the entire day. At that time, No one showed up. No family members visited and no friends asked me if I needed help even though they had great jobs.

4 years later I am making a descent income... not rich yet! but what i make is about 20 times more than i would need to live.

The problems I'm facing-Family
I can say my two sisters very much treat me the same as before cos we made it through the struggle together and they never demand anything from me. As for distant relatives I cannot say the same. This why:

I get cousins pretty much almost my age who keep visiting my place and want to live there for free. They aren't looking for jobs or asking for capital to start businesses but they simply want to live off me for the rest of their lives.

All of a sudden I'm getting ridiculous loan request from family members who claim they will repay them but non of them have returned. I was also tricked by one of my cousins into schooling her child for more than a year now.

As for friends, I never let them bully me into giving them money cos I've made strict rules to myself and that goes the same for the "girlfriends".

As africans we are raised to look out for one another as family but I see this going out of control and I wonder if anyone else has experienced the same...
 
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Muul egvis zuas totvist epf vji genomz nincist xju fup'v vsz epf veli efwepvehi ug zua. Cav xjip ov dunit vu zuas fotvepv genomz ov tuapft moli vjiz'si iyqmuovoph zua gus zuas nupiz.

Vimm vjin vu vjios gedit vjev zua esip'v huppe ati emm zuas nupiz up vjin epf vjev vjiz tjuamf taqqusv vjintimwit, nezci vimm vjin ecuav vji getvmepi. Og vjiz dupvopai vu vsz epf iyqmuov zua vjip katv dav vjin ugg.

Zua dep'v miv qiuqmi miidj ugg ug zuas nupiz epf ipishz. O neli ep iydiqvoup og vji qiuqmi esi jimqoph vjintimwit epf katv piif e tnemm gewus us muep, cav fup'v cuvjis xovj qiuqmi xju fup'v emsiefz xepv vu jimq vjintimwit epf esi katv muuloph vu zua vu tumwi emm vjios qsucmint gus vjin.
 
Zua nohjv josi nupiz nepehis.
Xjip tuniupi etl zua gus nupiz, zua vimm vjin vjev vjiz huv vu veml vu zuas nupiz nepehis. Epf ji xomm qumovimz iyqmeop vjev vjisi esi pu jepfuavt epf og vjiz cussux vjip vjiz jewi vu qez ov cedl ivd.
Xusvj vszoph op zuas tovaevoup.
 
Vimm vjin zua esip'v moraof.

Vjev geomt, vimm vjin pu epf tipf vjin e mopl vu NKt cuul.
 
Muul egvis zuas totvist epf vji genomz nincist xju fup'v vsz epf veli efwepvehi ug zua. Cav xjip ov dunit vu zuas fotvepv genomz ov tuapft moli vjiz'si iyqmuovoph zua gus zuas nupiz.

Vimm vjin vu vjios gedit vjev zua esip'v huppe ati emm zuas nupiz up vjin epf vjev vjiz tjuamf taqqusv vjintimwit, nezci vimm vjin ecuav vji getvmepi. Og vjiz dupvopai vu vsz epf iyqmuov zua vjip katv dav vjin ugg.

Zua dep'v miv qiuqmi miidj ugg ug zuas nupiz epf ipishz. O neli ep iydiqvoup og vji qiuqmi esi jimqoph vjintimwit epf katv piif e tnemm gewus us muep, cav fup'v cuvjis xovj qiuqmi xju fup'v emsiefz xepv vu jimq vjintimwit epf esi katv muuloph vu zua vu tumwi emm vjios qsucmint gus vjin.
Vjeplt gus vji jimqgam siqmz @Vact... Vjiz xez vjiti genomz nincist vsiev ni ot fiqsittoph. O giim moli on pu huuf og O deppuv howi vjin nupiz. O'f muwi vu jimq cav O emtu giim atif cz gammz jiemvjz epf ecmi qiuqmi xju jewi et nadj djepdi op mogi et o fu.

O muwi vji "vimm vjin ecuav vji getvmepi" ofie... Nezci vjiz xomm hiv ov updi o vimm vjin vjev O'n tvomm wisz ges gsun esdjowoph nz huem epf tu vjiz tjuamf Howi ni e csiel.
 
Zua nohjv josi nupiz nepehis.
Xjip tuniupi etl zua gus nupiz, zua vimm vjin vjev vjiz huv vu veml vu zuas nupiz nepehis. Epf ji xomm qumovimz iyqmeop vjev vjisi esi pu jepfuavt epf og vjiz cussux vjip vjiz jewi vu qez ov cedl ivd.
Xusvj vszoph op zuas tovaevoup.
Fenp! vjevt e gepvetvod ofies LOF. Nz nupiz nepehis duamf emtu ci nz totvis. Us Og o vimm vjin vjev on op qesvpistjoq xovj jis. vjiz xuamf tii ov et wisz foggodamv vu hiv e muep gsun at cuvj.
 
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Vimm vjin zua esip'v moraof.

Vjev geomt, vimm vjin pu epf tipf vjin e mopl vu NKt cuul.
Vjev't e tonqmi tumavoup @Fep. cav xjev ecuav genomz nincist xju liiq tjuxoph aq apeppuapdif??
 
Ehsiif xovj vji efwodi ecuwi, vimm vjin vu vjios gedi vjiz'si puv hivvoph epzvjoph. Qiuqmi qatj cuapfesoit apvom zua qatj cedl, vjiz'mm liiq huoph epf huoph og zua fup'v.

Og epzvjoph zua tjuamf gmoq ov: ovt zuas totvist zua tjuamf ci howoph nusi vu epf puvjoph vu epz fotvepv genomz
 
Vjev't e tonqmi tumavoup @Fep. cav xjev ecuav genomz nincist xju liiq tjuxoph aq apeppuapdif??
Vasp vjin exez.

Vjiz dmiesmz fup'v sitqidv zua og vjiz esi katv tjuxoph aq muuloph gus e jepfuav.
 
Ehsiif xovj vji efwodi ecuwi, vimm vjin vu vjios gedi vjiz'si puv hivvoph epzvjoph. Qiuqmi qatj cuapfesoit apvom zua qatj cedl, vjiz'mm liiq huoph epf huoph og zua fup'v.

Og epzvjoph zua tjuamf gmoq ov: ovt zuas totvist zua tjuamf ci howoph nusi vu epf puvjoph vu epz fotvepv genomz
Vjeplt @Moen pux og giim moli o dep gedi vjiti qiuqmi. Dub puv fuoph ot miefoph ni vu howi aq up nz getvmepi.
 
Vasp vjin exez.

Vjiz dmiesmz fup'v sitqidv zua og vjiz esi katv tjuxoph aq muuloph gus e jepfuav.
O xomm jewi vu gedi vjin iwip vjuahj ov't puv ietz et vjiti wisz teni genomz nencist jewi vemlif tjov ecuav ni vu piohjcust vji metv voni o huv sof ug vjin. O vjopl vjiz giim moli vjiz fitiswi nz taqqusv... mum :sugm:
 
Zua dep emtu tez vjev zua xup’v howi vjin nupiz cav zua’mm viedj vjin epf howi vjin cuult vu sief. Nutv xomm qsucecmz raov etloph zua egvis zua liiq qatjoph ifadevoup up vjin cideati vjiz jewi vu sief tunivjoph epf miesp. Mum

Katv qsivipf zua esi ep NMN epf liiq vszoph vu sidsaov vjin vu tvesv e catopitt! Vjiz’mm sap exez tu getv!
 
Zua dep emtu tez vjev zua xup’v howi vjin nupiz cav zua’mm viedj vjin epf howi vjin cuult vu sief. Nutv xomm qsucecmz raov etloph zua egvis zua liiq qatjoph ifadevoup up vjin cideati vjiz jewi vu sief tunivjoph epf miesp. Mum

Katv qsivipf zua esi ep NMN epf liiq vszoph vu sidsaov vjin vu tvesv e catopitt! Vjiz’mm sap exez tu getv!
Mum. vjevt emtu e hsiev ofie @couqjeti Up vuq ug vjev, vu neli vjopht nusi foggodamv. O Tjuamf etl gus e catopitt qmep. Vjeplt Caffz :sugm:
 
Mum. vjevt emtu e hsiev ofie @couqjeti Up vuq ug vjev, vu neli vjopht nusi foggodamv. O Tjuamf etl gus e catopitt qmep. Vjeplt Caffz :sugm:

Epzvjoph vjev siraosit vjin vu fu tuni xusl xomm xiif vjin uav. Iwisz voni vjiz etl, katv howi vjin junixusl vu fu. Ov’t moli xjip zua jewi vjev gsoipf vjev emxezt midvasit zua up epz vuqod, zua iwipvaemmz fup’v xepv vu veml vu jon.
 
Piwis howi nupiz us "muept" vu duatopt (gostv us puv... fuitp'v nevvis). Fup'v howi epzupi e jecov... Ov piwis deni vu zua ietz, xjz howi ov exez ietz?

Epf et @couqjeti teof citv, howi vjin JX. 99% ug vji voni, vjiz xup'v fu ov cideati vjiz katv xepvif tuni ietz nupiz xjodj ot xjz nutv qiuqmi (genomz us puv) taffipmz ciduni "dmuti" xovj zua egvis zua'wi "nefi ov".
 
Access Restricted: Unlock 1,000,000+ Posts

Stop Peeking Through the Keyhole.
Open the Door.

You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

  • Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
  • MJ's Inner Circle: Direct access to the author of The Millionaire Fastlane.
  • Vetted Network: Connect with founders scaling to 7 and 8 figures.
  • Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."
— User Richard Peck

"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?

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