How not to feel guilty when not doing productive activities?

[BlackLands]

Hello everyone,
I am 25 years old and while I work as a Data Scientist in my spare time I pursue my own projects (I am developing several MVPs).

At work I always try to learn as much as I can, especially those skills that will serve me in the future as an entrepreneur and I try to understand what processes can be automated or speeded up or made cheaper.

In short, I live the Unscripted philosophy completely.

My problem, however, is that any activity that I do not consider to be productive or akin to my goals makes me sick. For example: I can't bring myself to watch an episode of my favorite TV series or read a fantasy book as they feel like a waste of time. Sometimes I even neglect going out with some friends because I would feel guilty having fun.

I have achieved several things in my life because of this mindset, but of course it has downsides.

Do you also have or have you had this feeling of not being able to afford "non-productive" periods? How have you dealt with it? Thank you!

 

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[Subsonic]

Hello everyone,
I am 25 years old and while I work as a Data Scientist in my spare time I pursue my own projects (I am developing several MVPs).

At work I always try to learn as much as I can, especially those skills that will serve me in the future as an entrepreneur and I try to understand what processes can be automated or speeded up or made cheaper.

In short, I live the Unscripted philosophy completely.

My problem, however, is that any activity that I do not consider to be productive or akin to my goals makes me sick. For example: I can't bring myself to watch an episode of my favorite TV series or read a fantasy book as they feel like a waste of time. Sometimes I even neglect going out with some friends because I would feel guilty having fun.

I have achieved several things in my life because of this mindset, but of course it has downsides.

Do you also have or have you had this feeling of not being able to afford "non-productive" periods? How have you dealt with it? Thank you!

Well believing that you need "unproductive" periods is a scripted belief.

Cavemen didn't go on holidays or watch TV so there is no inherent need to do so.
If you feel bad doing something then it is against your better judgment and your not living true to your deepest desire and purpose.

I personally try to make sure that every fun activity is in some wa aligned with my values.

Every time I do something that doesn't align with my values (drinking, watching TV shows, playing videogames etc.) I feel bad. That's a good thing because otherwise I'd have no reason to stop those things. That would make me a looser.

I don't work all day but I try to do things all day that will develop me as a man in some way.


If you want some actionable advice on not feeling bad about those things:

Don't do them I a way that harms your goals and that is contrary to your values. Then write down exactly why it's not a problem in accordance with your values.
If you can't find a reason then you shouldn't do it.

 

[Jupit_e_r]

Hello everyone,
I am 25 years old and while I work as a Data Scientist in my spare time I pursue my own projects (I am developing several MVPs).

At work I always try to learn as much as I can, especially those skills that will serve me in the future as an entrepreneur and I try to understand what processes can be automated or speeded up or made cheaper.

In short, I live the Unscripted philosophy completely.

My problem, however, is that any activity that I do not consider to be productive or akin to my goals makes me sick. For example: I can't bring myself to watch an episode of my favorite TV series or read a fantasy book as they feel like a waste of time. Sometimes I even neglect going out with some friends because I would feel guilty having fun.

I have achieved several things in my life because of this mindset, but of course it has downsides.

Do you also have or have you had this feeling of not being able to afford "non-productive" periods? How have you dealt with it? Thank you!

Hey BlackLands!

I’ve been in the same situation as you, and what I found useful to do is some kind of end-of-day ritual

Personally, when I know that I have finished what I had to do in the day, I sit on my couch and say to myself:
"Okay, I finished what I had to do, I can now [ ... ]"

By splitting the day in two, I’m sure than I’m moving towards what I want to be, while keeping a moment to myself

Hope it helps you!

 

[heavy_industry]

My problem, however, is that any activity that I do not consider to be productive or akin to my goals makes me sick. For example: I can't bring myself to watch an episode of my favorite TV series or read a fantasy book as they feel like a waste of time.

I used to feel the same way and I tried to glue myself to my desk for 14 hours a day, for more productivity. The results were very bad, for both business and health.

Then I finally started to understand that results do not grow linearly with the amount of time you spend working.

But they do grow exponentially with good decisions.

Proper planning, strategic execution, hyper competence can enable you to achieve 10 times more results in the same amount of time.

Nobody cares how hard you work. Results are the only thing you are getting paid for.

---

For me the optimal solution was to limit the amount of hours I've spent working, perform higher quality work, and make better decisions.

I have limited the things that I am working on and thinking about. I set priorities every quarter.

I deliberately try to add a few hours of relaxing and doing "nothing" every single day. That's when all breakthroughs happened. That's when the best ideas have come and the best decisions have been made.

This is simply how our neurology works. The brain has to oscillate between intense focus and deep relaxation.

Would like to hear others' opinions on this as well. @MTF what do you think about this?

 

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[Spenny]

Ahahah strange that this has popped up as a question. The book I'm reading now that is called "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Chapter Two: Begin with The End in Mind addresses this. This is hard to summerise in short form, so bear with me!

The entire chapter goes into our principles. The end of what we are trying to achieve, after our life is finished. What do you want to leave behind? What would you want people to say about you? How do you want to be remembered? Taking those items, then working back from there.

Many people do no follow these personal aspirations, yet are instead handed a script that they'll willingly bend over backwards for, even if they go against their deep routed principles.

What we want to do is align ourselves with the end in mind. Then, and only then, we can move forward & choose what aligns with that path and what doesn't. Once we have these principles in place, whatever is pushed onto us from external factors we cannot control (exams, work, friends, relationships, life's tragedies) we can remove ourselves & weigh up our intentions moving forward.


Some personal examples.


I had this feeling of guilt when I was out clubbing last night instead of studying, so what I did was took a step outside, took into account the time I had, my priorities & weighed up all of the factors rationally, with me removed. I like clubbing, as it's the only time I publicly dance, get to tease people & have a good chat with some cool people. The choice was me to a. stay b. go home now. I looked at these factors, weighed them up & made a decision. No more guilt after.

I made this decision with video games. I didn't want to be remembered as a video gamer, I felt bad playing them, I wanted to be remembered as an strategist, a leader. So I picked up chess. I don't feel guilty at all until I do it too much.


I'm sorry if this is abit wishy washy, what I'm trying to get as is to listen to those thoughts. I know when I feel guilt when I'm not productive, it's because I haven't run it through my principles. It's a sign I need to get on with it. The time it doesn't bother me is when I've addressed if it aligns with my principles.

With your fantasty book, is there a principle with that? Do you want to have a way of expressing your creativity? Expanding your imagination? It's easy to see it as a waste of time, but it's how you define it.

I don't know the answer, it takes introspection. Listen to what your head is telling you, take into consideration the factors. It may also be useful to ask if it's you that put those feelings of guilt there, or others. Good luck.

 

[Kevin88660]

Hello everyone,
I am 25 years old and while I work as a Data Scientist in my spare time I pursue my own projects (I am developing several MVPs).

At work I always try to learn as much as I can, especially those skills that will serve me in the future as an entrepreneur and I try to understand what processes can be automated or speeded up or made cheaper.

In short, I live the Unscripted philosophy completely.

My problem, however, is that any activity that I do not consider to be productive or akin to my goals makes me sick. For example: I can't bring myself to watch an episode of my favorite TV series or read a fantasy book as they feel like a waste of time. Sometimes I even neglect going out with some friends because I would feel guilty having fun.

I have achieved several things in my life because of this mindset, but of course it has downsides.

Do you also have or have you had this feeling of not being able to afford "non-productive" periods? How have you dealt with it? Thank you!

Yes I do feel the same.

I am okay hanging out with friends if it involves a lot of walking and a hence a lot of calories burnt.

I see life as Health, Wealth or Distractions.

 

[Johnny boy]

It’s because you are not happy with your progress.

If you felt you were making enough progress, you would switch into “time to enjoy the fruits of my labor” mode and have way more fun.

So keep working and focusing on progress, and when you feel like it’s paying off, you’ll naturally want to relax more.

You just have higher expectations than the loser friends that only want to hangout and stay poor. They are happy with their level of progress so they can relax, because their expectations are rock bottom. You are below your threshold for feeling comfortable with your progress, because expectations are higher. So you have to work, even if you’re doing better than others.

 

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[DMass]

There's a term that I've seen thrown around alot and at first I thought it was just another wokism. But the more I read about people feeling guilty about having down time the more I believe it's a real thing.

Toxic Productivity

I'm not saying this from a ivory tower. I suffer with this massively.

I've been pushing that hard for that long that anytime I spend not working racks me with guilt. Hell, it's my birthday tomorrow and my daughter's dance show in the afternoon and all I'm thinking about is how I can I get some work done too.

Man. That isn't healthy.

I'm fighting this on a daily basis. Taking a full lunch break. Guilty. Watching a episode of a TV series with my wife at night. Guilty. Taking a full day off to take the kids out for a day out. Guilty.

Don't be like me. It's hard.

Keep balanced. Remember to take time for yourself.

What good are you to others if your are burnt out, stressed, and distracted?

This is something that I'm trying to work on myself and I urge you too.

I've taken a approach similar to what @heavy_industry is suggesting. As long as I put in 10 hours of highly productive work each day Monday to Friday the rest of the time is mine.

One trick I'm trying to work on is classifying what is producitive or beneficial and what is not. Going to the Gym productive. Spending a hour on a video game not productive.

 

[Andy Black]

Spend quality time on your business. Spend quantity of time with family.

Or something like that.

Btw. Are you that productive if you're working on multiple MVPs and you're always trying to learn as much as you can?

 

[MTF]

Would like to hear others' opinions on this as well. @MTF what do you think about this?

I 100% agree with your thoughts on productivity.

I sometimes feel guilty when I do stuff that doesn't involve much learning and is very passive and indoors (like watching TV series). But I do it rarely so it's not that big of a deal.

Other than that, I'd just recharge doing things that can still give you a sense of progress. I happen to focus on sports and outdoor activities. I would definitely feel guilty and like I'm wasting my time if I were to play video games. So I don't. I wasted enough time on them already when I was a teenager.

Most of my non-business activities these days could be turned into a business (or a job) if I needed to make money. So the better I get at them, the more diversified I feel.

For example, I could teach people English, Spanish, freestyle swimming, and writing. And I could also work at a climbing gym, freediving school or a surf school (not as an instructor but as someone who understands the environment of such a place). There's plenty of other places I could work at or businesses I could start as a person with basic knowledge about various stuff I've dabbled into over the years.

The more interests you have, the more business opportunities you also notice. And also, the more time off you take (of course in reasonable terms, I'm not saying to not work for years), the fresher your perspective is when it comes to looking at your own business and its problems.

 

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[BlackLands]

Hi, thanks all for your answers.

I'm improving this aspect by focusing on activities that really matters and taking track of my progresses.

I just think that sometimes we need to detach and I don't want to stop doing think that I enjoying doing like reading Russian literatures to focus only on business.

Entrepreneurship it's a journeys, sometimes there ups and sometimes down, the important thinks is to always grind!

 

[heavy_industry]

Entrepreneurship it's a journeys, sometimes there ups and sometimes down, the important thinks is to always grind!

The important thing is to always enjoy the journey, regardless of what path you choose.

The journey is all you have - it's your life. The destination does not exist. Nothing will happen when you hit $10M.

Good luck and choose your worldview very wisely, life offers no refunds.

 

[KiwiEC]

I have the same struggle even before learning about Fastlane and MJ's books.

I was a big video games player. When after my 25th birthday I started to get less and less fun from it. I was feeling guilty about spending hours on the computer. "What am I doing with my life?" did I say to myself after a 4 hours session in the middle of the night.

Even if it was a bit more boring, I kept playing video games as I had litteraly no fun doing something else. Learning a new skill like drawing or guitar? No motivation/discipline after a couple of days. Reading a book? Uh, that's not fun, I could live it in this new game on Steam.

As described into a chapter of Unscripted , I think this is due to dopamine. Video games (like other addictions like p*rn or Netflix binge-watching) is an immediate and low-effort source of dopamine. That's why our brain tend to prefer it. We have to fight against this reflex.

Since I have learnt about Fastlane and the spiral of Slowlane, I took an electroshock and I am now frequently reading books to get new useful skills and I am still using my computer but now to work on my project. I did not play any video game in months and I'm fine with it. Long term benefits appear now more interesting than immediate pleasure to my brain.

 

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[Yula]

I’m not sure if you’re already doing this, but set up a detailed goal for each day/week. Write down exactly what you want to achieve and what needs to be done.

If you finish all the goals you set by the end of the day/week you can reward yourself by doing “X”.

Specify the day or time period you’d like to have the reward as well.

Be strict and don’t let yourself enjoy the reward without finishing the goals (make sure that the goals are achievable).

This way you don't feel guilty but rather motivated to achieve your goals within your chosen time limit.

 

[Angel Meza]

Hey BlackLands!

I’ve been in the same situation as you, and what I found useful to do is some kind of end-of-day ritual

Personally, when I know that I have finished what I had to do in the day, I sit on my couch and say to myself:
"Okay, I finished what I had to do, I can now [ ... ]"

By splitting the day in two, I’m sure than I’m moving towards what I want to be, while keeping a moment to myself

Hope it helps you!

I do this subconsciously sometimes, with my schedule i know i finish what i need to by 9pm. So from 9pm-11pm is me time to waste