Have you had your "FTE"? (Or Was it an FTM?!)

[windchaser]

I used to think I have had a FTE but now realize they were just a FTM.

8 months ago I was working in a job I hated with a boss that was making my life miserable and have been wanted to quit for a long time, but was postponing it. Until one day the colleague who was sitting next to me died from a heart attack leaving his wife and kids behind at a very early age ironically one day before going on annual leave. It was not the first heart attack in the department that year but the only fatal one. I was in shock and reflected a lot and decided the moment to quit and start a new life was NOW, not in a couple of months because it was graphic to me: there might not be a tomorrow.
It was my first real FTE, I quit my 6 figures job, packed my stuff, took a plane and move back to my country.
Coming back was difficult, I found several difficulties but was determined to stay in the fastlane and I started working on my business until the perfect storm arrived: things got messy with a family issue and I got a very tempting job offer (they came looking for me) and I was weak and accepted.

At the beginning I was happy, and any time I was not at this new job I was working on my business, but they were the summer months that generally have lower activity. The workload increased and I was working many hours plus commuting two per day and the job started draining all my energy aso my fastlane was slowing down, and here comes my second and more real FTE:

Last Friday, completely out of the blue, after always receiving excellent feedback, my boss fired me, apparently, working +12hours per day including weekends and many holidays is not being committed enough. To make things worse they did it two days after I lost a very dear and close family member. But, the funny thing is that I felt liberated, and, for the first time I realized how true is that working for someone else is more risky than starting a business. It hit me, the same way it hit me when my colleague died.

After all, they can repeat 100 times fire burns, until you do not get burnt you don´t truly get it. Using MJ´s metaphore of the prison cell and the shit pipe, I panicked and I went back to a different cell, hoping it would be more cozy and with the false perception I was advancing on my fastlane, but in the end, you have to focus and you have to choose.

Life is a bout priorities and if those are clear any choice should be easy to make: I choose the fastlane, I am not going to commit to and sacrifice my health for someone who would not hesitate to replace me at any time for any reason.

 

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[Chris Franklin]

Love this post! I figured this would be a good way to expand on my FTE beyond my intro thread and really kick off the journey.

My event starts with a very comfortable life. I am married with 2 young children (2yo and 7mo). My wife stays home with the kids by choice. We just spent 50% of our savings account as a down payment on our first home and still have 6 months of salary in the bank. Life. Is. Comfortable.

A week before I had to travel to a conference for work, my wife, experiencing discomfort while breastfeeding for several days, went to the doctor to get it checked out. When examining her they found a lump that upon further investigation seemed to be a fibroadenoma (i.e. a benign growth), which she had previously had. To be safe they did a needle biopsy and sent her home.

Flash forward a week and a half. I am walking the show floor in Vegas and my phone starts going crazy. I look and see it is my wife. She has sent me close to a dozen text messages in 60 seconds. It wasn't benign.

It was a highly aggressive form of cancer. A genetic form that had actually killed her Aunt 15 years before, and her Grandmother 25 years before. Not only that, it was already spreading. We had a hell of a fight before us.

It is now 2 years later, and I am happy to say the cancer is in remission. If we are lucky, she has 20 more years before it comes back to finish the job. If we aren't... it can be back any day and she will have weeks to months left.

We spent close to $60k out of pocket for treatments. And we had to take out another $30k in personal loans. We are not comfortable anymore. And you know what? I. Am. Glad.

This experience has changed something inside me. I am no longer content to drive 2 hours a day to work. I am no longer happy working for someone else. I need a change. I am hungry. And I have already started my new journey.

I look forward to sharing the journey with you in my Execution thread.

 

[ItsAJackal]

Without going into a ton of detail, my FTE (which led me to finding this forum and figuring out what I can do) was when a 30k bonus check was taken away from me because my manager's manager didn't think it was fair. My manager (who approved the process I was doing) said he was sorry and bought me a beer.

They immediately changed the compensation plan so that no one else could do what I did.

I made the company over $1M in profit that year as well...

 

[GuitarManDan]

I quit my job to start my own business in November of 2017. My FTE was earlier that year when I was still pretty new at a job at an NYC investment bank that everyone considered a "great" job just because the name of the company and the paycheck.

Something seemed off the whole time I was there, but I was finally able to put my finger on it one afternoon. I unfortunately found out that one of my close family members had passed away (very tragically and he was still in college).

When I went into the calendar system and requested the day off for the funeral/wake, within maybe 1-2 minutes I got a call from the Executive Director for my group.

He knew legally (or that would be an HR issue) he couldn't tell me that I can't take the day off, but he just kept asking me over and over in a very condescending way "... so, you really think that taking a day off during busy season makes sense now?"

When I explained the reason why "yes, I know... but still, do you really think this is a good idea?"

Something clicked after that where I just knew I had to get the hell out of this place. Even though it was terrifying, I picked the exact date that I was going to quit my job (after figuring out how much to save up).

What I wasn't expecting... working in such a miserable and stressful environment, even at the age of 26/27 when I worked there, I was amazed how many health issues I'd never had before that came up.

Once I left the job and moved to Scottsdale, after a few months almost every single health problem went away when I took myself out of that toxic environment (the best one being no more insomnia so I didn't feel like I was in a daze 24/7).

It's odd but I was just so angry and pissed off all the time at that old job and that's not like me at all. After a few months of being free it was amazing to feel like my old self again.

Now I've just been grinding on my new business and have the ultimate motivation to make this work because I know what's on the other side.

 

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[Arigilos]

I have a FTM and a FTE that made me quit college but then join the military.

My FTE was in college and I already didn't fully understand the point of college because no one I knew actually used their college degree and it seems unnecessarily expensive as well as a lot of time to get a degree and I felt like it wasn't necessary to get actually get a job you might apply for with a degree. But literally every single person I knew was telling me to go to college so I thought there had to be a reason for it. I decided to go for computer science and I was already using a free website to learn how to code. I learned more in one day on that website than I did in a week in this class I was paying $500 for. And they were having me pay for a bunch of other classes like psychology, history, english and so forth that I really didn't care about. Furthermore the teachers were just extremely disrespectful. I actually had a history teacher say "kids think they can accomplish their dreams because they still haven't grown up yet". lol I was like F*ck this I don't have to deal with these rude and disrespectful people to study stuff that is literally useless information AND be expected to pay for it. HELL no.

My family was lowkey blackmailing me into going to college though. They said if I didn't go to college then I couldn't live in their house and I had no clue what to do if I got kicked out which they threatened to do to me twice. Both times were because my parents got angry with me and tried to fight me so I fought back. But I joined the military which is where I had my FTM.

I had been working night shift for about a year and my job was pretty simple. I literally just checked IDs at the gate. There wasn't much traffic because I worked night so it was actually pretty cool. I mostly just read books inside the gate shack. They put me on day shift though and the first day was probably one of my most miserable days in the military. It was cold, I was tired (I couldn't go to sleep early because I was used to being up late), I was supposed to have the day off, my legs were sore, everyone coming in were just rude for some reason, I had extremely disrespectful coworkers, my old coworkers on night shift who I all liked said they were missing me which made me feel bad that I wasn't going to be working with them anymore, I got yelled at by leadership for being slow moving a barrier for an ambulance coming onto base (which I kind of was, but the ambulance never had to slow down because of me). I was so miserable that day but it was just a FTM and not a FTE. I was 100% focused for 3 days on starting a business and then my dedication died out. I got used to working that schedule.

I also had a FTQ (F*ck This Quote) from my dad. He said before I enrolled into a college that "You can either be homeless, work at McDonalds, or go to college." I was like .. well what about all of the people who are rich and ballin'?


oh and p.s. after reading over what I wrote, it kind of sounds like I thought what the history teacher said was disrespectful. No it wasn't. That was just an interesting quote I thought I would share. The disrespectfulness came from just how my teachers would talk to me and other students.

 

[raad182]

I have FTEs on a daily basis on my job.

• Never getting the credit for my work but I keep doing my job no matter what.
• Seeing mid-aged men acting like btchs in front of their bosses.
• Women ready to please in order to get ahead and then raising the feminism flag.
• People wasting their limited time with people they dislike and calling this networking.
• Saying how much I make per month and hearing from my mom " Seriously?! I thought that you were making more son " then she gave me a look like she was seeing a homeless asking for food.
• Receiving an increase of 2% and a tap on the back as an " amazing promotion " that I should be grateful for.
• Seeing my younger brother WANTING to follow the same footsteps for lack of role models and because I create a illusion that everything is perfect (they live far away and I don't want to keep them worried).

 

[LuckyPup]

I have FTEs on a daily basis on my job.

• Never getting the credit for my work but I keep doing my job no matter what.
• Seeing mid-aged men acting like btchs in front of their bosses.
• Women ready to please in order to get ahead and then raising the feminism flag.
• People wasting their limited time with people they dislike and calling this networking.
• Saying how much I make per month and hearing from my mom " Seriously?! I thought that you were making more son " then she gave me a look like she was seeing a homeless asking for food.
• Receiving an increase of 2% and a tap on the back as an " amazing promotion " that I should be grateful for.
• Seeing my younger brother WANTING to follow the same footsteps for lack of role models and because I create a illusion that everything is perfect (they live far away and I don't want to keep them worried).

If it's ongoing, then it hasn't been a real FTE. What's it gonna take to make a change?

 

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[raad182]

If it's ongoing, then it hasn't been a real FTE. What's it gonna take to make a change?

Not knowing that was possible until 10 days ago when I read TMF and today reading the Unscripted .
Now I have some direction and a lot of work to do.

 

[LuckyPup]

Not knowing that was possible until 10 days ago when I read TMF and today reading the Unscripted .
Now I have some direction and a lot of work to do.

You're certainly among the right people here. Keep your eye on the prize!

 

[LuckyPup]

Love this post! I figured this would be a good way to expand on my FTE beyond my intro thread and really kick off the journey.

My event starts with a very comfortable life. I am married with 2 young children (2yo and 7mo). My wife stays home with the kids by choice. We just spent 50% of our savings account as a down payment on our first home and still have 6 months of salary in the bank. Life. Is. Comfortable.

A week before I had to travel to a conference for work, my wife, experiencing discomfort while breastfeeding for several days, went to the doctor to get it checked out. When examining her they found a lump that upon further investigation seemed to be a fibroadenoma (i.e. a benign growth), which she had previously had. To be safe they did a needle biopsy and sent her home.

Flash forward a week and a half. I am walking the show floor in Vegas and my phone starts going crazy. I look and see it is my wife. She has sent me close to a dozen text messages in 60 seconds. It wasn't benign.

It was a highly aggressive form of cancer. A genetic form that had actually killed her Aunt 15 years before, and her Grandmother 25 years before. Not only that, it was already spreading. We had a hell of a fight before us.

It is now 2 years later, and I am happy to say the cancer is in remission. If we are lucky, she has 20 more years before it comes back to finish the job. If we aren't... it can be back any day and she will have weeks to months left.

We spent close to $60k out of pocket for treatments. And we had to take out another $30k in personal loans. We are not comfortable anymore. And you know what? I. Am. Glad.

This experience has changed something inside me. I am no longer content to drive 2 hours a day to work. I am no longer happy working for someone else. I need a change. I am hungry. And I have already started my new journey.

I look forward to sharing the journey with you in my Execution thread.

Chris, I'm so glad she's in remission. Stay strong, love her every day and all the best to you!

 

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[Metz]

Forgive me if this question exists in another post.. I tried searching for it and despite poring through a few results pages, found nothing. SO.. I hope you don't mind if I ask the obvious.

I'm about a third of the way through Unscripted and have been reflecting on FTEs; while I was pretty certain I had one, MJ made me call to question if it was legit or just temporary. Granted, my entrepreneurial growth has been a slow slog compared to some others, but I've been self-employed for the majority of my 20s so it isn't all bad. That said, let me regale you with my own FTE.

I was 21 and lived in Minnesota, 350 miles away from home in a college town surrounded by corn and soybean fields. I was just finishing up my junior year though just barely. My grandmother's health was deteriorating quickly due to pancreatic cancer which she had been fighting off for the better part of two years or so. She later passed away that June which emotionally destroyed me. Instead of a babysitter growing up, my parents had my grandma take care of me.. and by the time I turned 16 and realized I was a little more fabulous than initially anticipated (i.e. I came out as gay), her, my grandpa, and younger brother were the only ones in my family that didn't immediately disown me. When I was away in college, I called her and my grandpa almost every day in three-way calls as I'd walk to and from campus, telling them about my day. Without her, my grandpa and I struggled talking to one another for a while as it wasn't the same.

The depression got so great that I dropped out of school for a bit. Normally I got As and Bs but that semester, the highest I earned was a C-, the rest being Ds and Fs. I had recently lost my on-campus job due to a bunch of office politics (my supervisor was going through a divorce, stopped showing up to work regularly, and fired me out of nowhere for "lack of communication and lack of commitment to my job" though she hadn't answered a single one of my emails over the past month, keeping all our projects on hold. My living situation was garbage with a bunch of roommates who reveled in drama and being adult manchildren (you know the types who never do dishes, go through your room and use stuff without you knowing, and somehow never having money for rent but always having money for weed and beer). I was stuck working at a food service job just under full-time so as not to be given benefits; even had a supervisor that was incredibly passive-aggressive with me and would gossip loudly about me around corners, mentioning how stupid I was. Suffice it to say, shit was bad. Real bad. Like.. attempted suicide and couldn't even succeed at that, bad.

It was the night after that failed attempt though that graced me with my FTE. I was fed up of feeling like this. I hated feeling like an abomination for being gay, unworthy of my family's love. I hated feeling like a failure because I couldn't power through school -- while I was the first in my family to go to college, I never heard the end of how shitty of a person I was for leaving, labeled a quitter (I paid my own way, working full-time alongside being a student so it's not like my parents' even had stake in it aside from their ego). I hated feeling lonely. I hated dealing with a shitty supervisor 11 years my senior acting 11 years my junior because she already gave up her dreams and did her best to quash everyone else's. I hated working as much as I was but my financial hole was growing deeper as my barebones budget still wasn't covered by $7.25/hour slinging sandwiches. I hated knowing that life could be better yet it wasn't. But most of all I hated how alone I felt.

I met one of my best friends at that shitty little job. She was also fed up with a lot of things in life for her own reasons, but she was entrepreneurial and ambitious. While I dabbled with a few ideas, I never actually acted upon those impulses but she took me to meet-ups with local business owners and sometimes we'd go up to the Twin Cities for "Cashflow Night" -- a night once a month where entrepreneurs would play Cashflow and shoot the shit, exchanging strategies, networking, and playing a rather fun boardgame. All the while, I started journaling; I promised myself to fight against the depression and the voice nagging at the back of my mind telling me I deserved nothing, not even life. But with that writing, I started a website with a friend, spending time before and after my shifts drafting and editing articles. It got to the point where I'd show up two hours early to my shift so I could eat and write and then by the time I got home, I'd have at least one or two articles done that I schedule for publication. I didn't know much about SEO or content marketing at the time but I didn't care. I just wanted to write.

After a while, I started reaching out to others for interviews (that is, written interviews for article writing, not prospective jobs) and someone in the games industry wanted to hire me as a writer. Then another person.. then finally a friend of a friend offered me a full-time position managing content for a logistics company on the west coast with my own writing team and everything. Granted, this happened over the course of two or so years. I left that stupid job, I moved away to a new place (as did my friend though we still talk and exchange strategies), and my depression is all but eradicated. And that journal has been repurposed into my first book I aim on publishing within the next month or so after I format it and proofread it one last time. It wasn't so much that I wanted to share my story but I wanted to show people (self included) that life does get better, not necessarily how we envision it, but surprisingly even better. I'm passionate about helping others and empathy for those around us as well as for ourselves (all too often, we can get in our own way) and I want to prove to others that they're not alone in their struggles. I want to be that person in someone's corner since, for most of my life, I didn't have an advocate like that. The closest would be my grandparents.. and now that they're both gone, I just want to do right by their memory and what they've taught me.

While things have gotten better with the rest of my family, there's still that air of "we tolerate you but don't necessarily want you" which ebbs and flows. After my dad and step-mom sold their business, my relationship's been doing quite well with them which is probably because they can at least relax now in quasi-retirement at 53. As for the rest.. all things in time.. but at the very least, shit makes good fertilizer, right?

Oof.. I didn't intend on ranting but it's past midnight and I'm half-asleep. But yeah.. what are some of your stories of just saying "F*ck this"?

 

[wordwarrior]

I'm going to be perfectly honest and state that I haven't had one yet.

I have a number of irritants in my life and job, but none of them thus far has been the equivalent of pulling over to the shoulder in the middle of a snowstorm after a 14 hour day of limo driving.

 

[Bekit]

Forgive me if this question exists in another post.. I tried searching for it and despite poring through a few results pages, found nothing.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandparents and all the painful stuff you went through. Crazy story. Welcome to the forum.

There is an enormous thread on this if you want to read other people's stories.

*UNSCRIPTED* - Have you had your "FTE"? (Or Was it an FTM?!)

 

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[Metz]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandparents and all the painful stuff you went through. Crazy story. Welcome to the forum.

There is an enormous thread on this if you want to read other people's stories.

*UNSCRIPTED* - Have you had your "FTE"? (Or Was it an FTM?!)

AHA! So there is a thread. I didn't look hard enough apparently but I'll have to check that out.

Still, glad to be here. I mentioned in my intro how I already felt a lot of the things MJ mentioned in The Millionaire Fastlane before reading the book but it's great to not only have validation that these feelings had merit, but that I'm not alone.

 

[Metz]

Apparently, I didn't look hard enough last night when looking for this thread so I re-asked the question. Without copy/pasting/double-posting, I rambled about my own FTE that happened a few years ago.

That said, it's been interesting reading a few of your stories. There's something to be said about a person coming to a breaking point and instead of laying face down in the muck, they get up, kicking and screaming and propel themselves forward. That whole "life is like a bow and you're the arrow; the further it pulls back, the further you'll travel" analogy comes to mind.

But yeah.. I'm still new to this community but it's nice to not feel so alone anymore.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Threads merged, no problem @Metzge .

 

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[Metz]

Threads merged, no problem @Metzge .

You da man, MJ.

 

[Bertram]

I think I just had a personal FTE involving my family. So I apologize in advance since this is not completely work related.

Now when I first started posting here, I did a pretty bare bones intro since I felt funny revealing some personal info about myself. So now I will go into more detail. I'm an older woman and a big introvert. I live and work on Long Island for wholesale business my job consists of invoicing, shipping products out and resolving payment discrepancies. Ive been there for several years.

So here's the first FTEs. It happened with my sisters during the holidays. It had to do with politics which I never discuss. However my older sister does so every Friday night. So during this recent holiday just before saying the prayers my sister started this again and was addressing my younger sister. Now I wanted it to stop since it was just not the time or place. So I said something and my younger sister said come on. Don't tell me you like ------. Then I pointed out that for eight years the pendulum was in the other direction and that I never outwardly complained at family gatherings and I didn't see why it was such a big deal. But they didn't back down. At this point started to get angry and I must have raised my voice. I pointed out how I could have said a number of things about the other side (named a few) but I never uttered a peep for many years. At this point my younger sister told me to knock it off. . That I was like a f*****g four year old throwing a tantrum...that I'm always like this....that I had a tantrum at my father's funeral (!????) four years ago and that I should be F*****g kissing my older sister's a$$...that she can talk about whatever she wants. Needless to say it was very ugly

The next day I texted to say that I shouldn't have raised my voice but that I also have the right to say what I want and that I never attacked either of them personally and that her cursing me was totally uncalled for.

Her response was that she shouldn't have cursed me but that she's been holding on to this stuff for years and that' I do throw tantrums...that I make everyone around me miserable.. .that I have issues and that we need to take a break from each other. Meanwhile this sister lives in Westchester with her husband and I see her maybe one a month at the most.

Also I have three sisters. If I was making everyone miserable all these years I should think one of them would have said something sooner.

So that's my most recent FTE. Unfortunately I just feel like a deer caught in the headlights. And I have always battled depression. Part of me feels numb..But I also just cry a lot. I'm just over halfway through Unscripted . Personally I think my FTE just make me feel even more stuck and more like a big nothing.

Anyway thanks for reading this long post

This is defiitely going to come off tbe wrong way for some, but I mean this with sincere empathy.
What if you took a break from thinking and talking like a female?
This advice is just as valuable to men in other life situations.
What if you stopped putting so much emphasis on the emotional aspects of your life? Especially when it comes to your family and work pals.
You didn't choose each other.
Your story about keeping quiet ablut whoever you didn't vote into office is partly about you and your sisters having to put up with each other.
Forget the unrealistic expectations about always having to like one other.
Be like a man and regard the tough passages in life like it's a job to get through. You're working on the clock at the fami!y dinner.
I hope this suggestion provides much relief.
Sometimes my 22 year old daughter reaches out to me in a bind about what to choose or how to interpret an email or a proposal. I remind her to stop for a moment and pretend she is a guy. She'll always, always find more options at that point.
And I would do likewise regardng age. I do hope you are curious and give it a try.

 

[94blackbird]

It's still processing, but I believe I've had a FTE. Also I will be light on details, as this only happened recently and I still need my job to support my family while I get things underway. I am about to SERIOUSLY badmouth the company and a few individuals in management positions that I work for/under and am not currently in a position of "FU".

Leading up to this FTE, I had a series of FTM's that poked and prodded at me, got the juices flowing so to speak. I was also in college at this point to "advance my career" (but also because I was making money going. Not the best way, but it gave me access to about $30k I wouldn't have otherwise had/been able to scrape together in the year and a half that I went. I also met a mentor of sorts who has started his own businesses. He was extremely supportive and asked a few things I had not considered when I laid out the basics of what I want to do.)

I have been with my current company for close the 3 years at this point and have received a promotion that basically makes me the designated butt to chew on (DBC) whenever there are problems with my shift.

FTM #1: When hired for this new position, I was promised training that never materialized along with extra money that would co-incide with the the completion of said training.

FTM #2: I move departments pretty regularly as I am one of the more skilled individuals in what my company does and we are chronically short staffed decent experience people. Plenty of button pusher types. After the most recent move, where I performed way above what is expected while still being technical support/DBC for my home department, get pulled into the plant managers office and asked if I want to continue in current position, that there were multiple complaints against me for belittling and/or targeting "problem" employees (not true, but I may have said some things that could be construed as such, so not entirely blameless either. I can be prickly if I'm not careful) and basically ripped a new one for duties that are not primary to my job title but that I do anyway to try and help keep things running smoothly.

FTM#3: related to #2, this one is kind of a slow burner, repeated instances, all basically the same so not worth typing out each incident. Basically a case of "I do the job you ask me to then you yell at me for doing the job you asked me to do." Management plays favorites and in many ways let the inmates run the asylum.

FTM #4: This one is health related. I suffer from Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis. I've been on various injectables for 2.5 years and was making crazy good progress on clearing up my skin and my overall well being. For those that don't know Psortiatic Arthritis is basically inflamed, painful joints caused by an auto immune disorder that causes the body to attack itself. Mine was so bad that I told my rheumatologist that I was pretty sure that I knew what rigor mortis felt like. It also makes you feel like crap, low energy/fatigued and want to sleep all the time, then wake up and feel even worse than when you went to bed. I was making amazing progress on that front too. My energy levels were coming back up and my mood was improving as well. Then FTM #2 and #3 happened. Especially after #2, all of a sudden I felt fatigued and foggy, like I was moving through molassas all the time and almost back to square one. Heaven forbid if my wife ever reads this, but the stress of the job, going to school full time and subsequent PSA flare up were so bad that I considered finding the biggest, hardest thing I could find and getting the longest running start I could to hit it as hard as possible on my way into work one night. This is one of two instances where calmer heads prevailed. I would have to be one hell of a poltergeist to type this up from the other side.

The FTE itself happened right after I found out just how shitty the company I work for's attendance policy is. One of my guys had a devastating family tragedy, had documents to back it up, had been running on very little sleep all week, been there for all his regular shifts, and only called out on a weekend (we regularly work weekends to make up any shortfalls from the week). This guy had been there for all his regular shifts that week, and had an EXTREMELY legit reason to miss the weekend shift. And the company, per it's shitty attendance policy, punished him. Not only did he get punished for taking care of his family instead of coming in on a weekend shift, my supervisor gave him a piece of paper basically stating if you miss any more time, at all, for any reason, you will be terminated, no ifs, ands or butts.

I found the whole thing so morally and, frankly ethically, repugnant that I spent my entire trip home repeating "F*ck that place, F*ck that place, I'm done, I'm done". I was pretty close to tears thinking about what my co worker had just gone through and on top of that had just had his job threatened because he chose to be with his family rather than work a weekend shift. I contemplated turning around and putting my keys and badge on my supervisors desk, throwing up a double barrel one finger salute as high as I could reach and marching out of there like a boss. Second of two times that cooler heads prevailed. While I despise the culture of the company that I work for, I still have a family to feed, clothe and shelter, so I will endure it until I don't need them to support my family anymore.

I understand that companies have to have attendance policies so that people won't just arbitrarily take time off without rhyme or reason, but if you have a legit medical emergency (either you are extremely ill or you have to take care of family), I don't believe you should be punished for it, and I think that the company would go a long way towards fostering loyalty in the workforce by allowing properly documented incidents to pass by with no formal punishment other than the person did not get paid for that day. As it stands now, we are just a rotating door for button pusher types. Management doesn't give a flip about anyone as long as we meet our goals. If they do or say something you don't like, well, too bad, there's the door.

I definitely rethought my priorities after that. I can't say that I reduced my stress level, but I did reposition it to try and get my PSA back under control so I would have the energy to actually do something about it. I dropped out of college and instead I am now pursuing an idea that I have had components of for the last couple of years that only really clicked on my ride home that day. I have a deadline (Memorial day weekend), 1500 dollars that says I will meet my deadline if I want to get any benefit from it, and a ton of work to do for the first part. I also have a promise to myself to keep that this company would be the last job I ever took that wasn't my own.

 

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[arl]

It happened a few weeks ago but I'm now realizing it might have been a FTE.
I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur but the truth is I have a comfortable life in the corporate world, so there was no rush to start my business. The idea would present itself sometime...

I've been on the same job for just over 1.5 years. The pay is alright but nothing to be excited about. When I switched jobs I actually didn't get a pay increase. I still thought that it was the right decision for me because I was pretty burnt out, and I needed a slight career change. This job gave me that opportunity which was great. But that means I've been earning the same amount for around 3 years.

That was until a few weeks ago, when I recieved my first performance evaluation at the new job. I was sure they were happy with me as I constantly get good feedback. I constantly work with the top level management in the company. In most meetings I'm the youngest there by a minimum of 5-10 years.

For 1.5 years every time I've finished a project, I've gotten praised by everyone. My boss always tells me how amazed everyone is with my performance. But this brings us to the pay raise part. After being told how awesome I'm for 1.5 years, I've gotten a measly 1,800 € yearly raise (just over 4%). F*CK THIS!

To make things worse, the company I work for, has been growing a lot lately, and has been hiring some people to do a similar job than me as I can't do everything anymore. But the people they've been hiring earn about 50% more than me just based on seniority. Just because they are older and have more experience. But the actual work they do is the F*cking same.

I'm done. My motivation has been gone for the last few weeks, and I've realized it's not coming back. I don't know that I'm going to do now, but I need to do something.

 

[eliquid]

That was until a few weeks ago, when I recieved my first performance evaluation at the new job. I was sure they were happy with me as I constantly get good feedback. I constantly work with the top level management in the company. In most meetings I'm the youngest there by a minimum of 5-10 years.

For 1.5 years every time I've finished a project, I've gotten praised by everyone. My boss always tells me how amazed everyone is with my performance. But this brings us to the pay raise part. After being told how awesome I'm for 1.5 years, I've gotten a measly 1,800 € yearly raise (just over 4%). F*CK THIS!

This is pretty common and average actually.

Your 4% is either above the 2.7-3% average, or at the 4% that companies expect to give their top workers.

Either way, seems you doing what others at your level are getting as far as raises go.

BTW, I've always thought companies hated to give their workers more money just because a year passed. In every single review I've ever had, I have scanned that report over with a fine tooth comb and it looks almost designed from HR to find at least 1-2 flaws and issues on purpose to justify the low % raise.

But again, you are either above the average or at the top worker raise expectation.

 

[eliquid]

To make things worse, the company I work for, has been growing a lot lately, and has been hiring some people to do a similar job than me as I can't do everything anymore. But the people they've been hiring earn about 50% more than me just based on seniority. Just because they are older and have more experience. But the actual work they do is the F*cking same.

I'm done. My motivation has been gone for the last few weeks, and I've realized it's not coming back. I don't know that I'm going to do now, but I need to do something.

So I have 2 thoughts on this.

First of all, why shouldn't someone with more experience get more pay?

Think of it like the sheeple irrational world we live in. Someone with more experience SHOULD be able to make better decisions and help the company make more money ( in general ), right? Again we are talking sheeple irrational world...

So that's where that comes from.

I have always MADE more money job hopping from job to job every year, than I ever made staying at 1 place and getting a raise. Let that sink in for a moment too... At every new job I was the guy with more experience and older and collecting a bigger paycheck and title each time. For me, making more money meant job hopping... not staying at one company and I was the best performing person at every single company for that department. This comes from 25+ years in the job market talking here.

You need to learn to negotiate as well.

I am not you and wasn't there for your hiring process.. but did they offer you the job and you just accept the pay they gave? If so, that could be part of it. Maybe the older and more experienced guys seen through this during hiring and only accepted based on XYZ pay where they set the pay rate, not just accepting what the company threw out.

Sometimes though, the reverse of your situation is even worse.

Try being the first hire in at a very high pay rate. Then over time they hire in multiple people ( exact same situation as you ) that can do the similar job as you at a much lower pay rate. People you have to train and such. Then one day you get called in the office and learn you are getting let go after 3 years of building the company from $7m in revenue to over $25M and the department from 1 client to 40+.

In this moment you learn you've been a target because the company can hire even more low pay people ( 3-4 ) if they get rid of you. You're a target because of your pay rate. Something the VC team suggested and the company does, so they can get their VC monies.

As a person with a job, you are in a more secure role than maybe some of your co-workers.

But then again, this is exactly why I also ditched job life too.

Congrats, but know the other side of the coin too so you can appreciate it.

Good luck.

.

 

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[Here]

My FTE:

I was working at a job with terrible hours. It was understood (but never guaranteed) that after a few years I'd get normal work hours that didn't cut into family time.

2 years in my supervisor left. The new supervisor brought in some employees from her former location & gave them the hours I'd been hoping to get. She also made some new hires and the following year, gave them the hours I was hoping to get.

Bottom line, she only wanted to reward those employees that SHE had brought in. And when I tried switching locations I was told that I'd have to start from the bottom and work my way up all over again.

So yeah, I was done.

The funny part was, when I told my supervisor I quit she was totally shocked. Never thought I'd actually do it. I come across as a real pushover I guess. I thought I was pretty clear on needing my hours changed but whatever. That was a super dark time in my life, don't want to reflect on it much really.

 

[arl]

So I have 2 thoughts on this.

First of all, why shouldn't someone with more experience get more pay?

Think of it like the sheeple irrational world we live in. Someone with more experience SHOULD be able to make better decisions and help the company make more money ( in general ), right? Again we are talking sheeple irrational world...

So that's where that comes from.

I have always MADE more money job hopping from job to job every year, than I ever made staying at 1 place and getting a raise. Let that sink in for a moment too... At every new job I was the guy with more experience and older and collecting a bigger paycheck and title each time. For me, making more money meant job hopping... not staying at one company and I was the best performing person at every single company for that department. This comes from 25+ years in the job market talking here.

You need to learn to negotiate as well.

I am not you and wasn't there for your hiring process.. but did they offer you the job and you just accept the pay they gave? If so, that could be part of it. Maybe the older and more experienced guys seen through this during hiring and only accepted based on XYZ pay where they set the pay rate, not just accepting what the company threw out.

Sometimes though, the reverse of your situation is even worse.

Try being the first hire in at a very high pay rate. Then over time they hire in multiple people ( exact same situation as you ) that can do the similar job as you at a much lower pay rate. People you have to train and such. Then one day you get called in the office and learn you are getting let go after 3 years of building the company from $7m in revenue to over $25M and the department from 1 client to 40+.

In this moment you learn you've been a target because the company can hire even more low pay people ( 3-4 ) if they get rid of you. You're a target because of your pay rate. Something the VC team suggested and the company does, so they can get their VC monies.

As a person with a job, you are in a more secure role than maybe some of your co-workers.

But then again, this is exactly why I also ditched job life too.

Congrats, but know the other side of the coin too so you can appreciate it.

Good luck.

.

Yeah I appreciate your response I can definitely see the other side of the coin. After all I work in Financial Planning and Analysis and my work is basically trying to make more money for the company however I can.

My frustration is mostly because the new hires lately have been mostly friends of the CEO or CFO and even though they have more experience (in years) , I wouldn't say they are more capable. One of them has already been in the company for almost a year and keeps constantly asking me how to do stuff. He makes almost twice as me but is probably half as productive.

As you said, the key to earn more money (working for others) is job hopping. It just sucks that you need to do that in order to get valued. This might work for a while, but slaving myself just to expect 4% raises is just not an option anymore. F*ck loyalty. This time I'm going wherever I'm paid the most to work for myself.

 

[eliquid]

My FTE:

I was working at a job with terrible hours. It was understood (but never guaranteed) that after a few years I'd get normal work hours that didn't cut into family time.

2 years in my supervisor left. The new supervisor brought in some employees from her former location & gave them the hours I'd been hoping to get. She also made some new hires and the following year, gave them the hours I was hoping to get.

Bottom line, she only wanted to reward those employees that SHE had brought in. And when I tried switching locations I was told that I'd have to start from the bottom and work my way up all over again.

So yeah, I was done.

The funny part was, when I told my supervisor I quit she was totally shocked. Never thought I'd actually do it. I come across as a real pushover I guess. I thought I was pretty clear on needing my hours changed but whatever. That was a super dark time in my life, don't want to reflect on it much really.

Yeah I appreciate your response I can definitely see the other side of the coin. After all I work in Financial Planning and Analysis and my work is basically trying to make more money for the company however I can.

My frustration is mostly because the new hires lately have been mostly friends of the CEO or CFO and even though they have more experience (in years) , I wouldn't say they are more capable. One of them has already been in the company for almost a year and keeps constantly asking me how to do stuff. He makes almost twice as me but is probably half as productive.

As you said, the key to earn more money (working for others) is job hopping. It just sucks that you need to do that in order to get valued. This might work for a while, but slaving myself just to expect 4% raises is just not an option anymore. F*ck loyalty. This time I'm going wherever I'm paid the most to work for myself.

Similar types of stories here with new people coming in and getting the "hours" or the "pay" someone else should have gotten.

Let this be a lesson to all other readers.

If you are in a JOB, most times ( i didnt say every time ) you will make more money leaving and going to a new JOB.

Deals you make with 1 or 2 managers ( I have been in this SAME EXACT situation 3+ times at a least ) will not be honored when they leave the company. Another reason job hopping benefits you bc at least you don't stay there 3 years to end up losing your "deal".

I've done job hops where I went from making $30k a year, to $85k a year. From $85k a year to $120k a year. Don't settle for 4% or less just to stick around and lose your verbal "deal" when your manager leaves.

.

 

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[XxThelionxX]

A few of my very first FTE's

• Drinking while others were working
• Drug addicted in desperation
• Being drunk and finally saying this is it

And one of my most recent
-Tearing up a pair of jeans that had holes in crouch

I learned that life will give you what you negotiate. I wouldn't have it anymore. I didn't want that for my life.

Those have been life changing. I'm now in a much better place.

A new way of being!

I love it! And couldn't be more happier
But it is just the beginning!

I always tell myself in tough times. And while this time I'm having is a walk in the park. Greater is coming!

And it will come. Don't think your the only one out of eight billion people who god doesn't have a plan for!

live and let live

 

[ysysgwhw]

circa 2 yrs ago in my 1st year at Law School. The workload was nothing like I expected. I was an A student and was not only accustomed to but eager to work my a** off but Law school was a whole other beast. All would have been well if it was not for :
A. researching average salaries of attorneys/advocates/etc
B. stories of the realities of the profession from Professors
C. realising how intellectually and creatively stifling the Legal sector actually is. i.e. at Tutorials i would butt heads with my tutors because I'd essentially reach the same conclusion but would be awarded no marks because my process, however valid and sensible, wasn't in-line with the module expectations.

That's when my FT moment actually had a different effect. I sunk into a year and a half long depression that atole away so much of my LIFE! I've never felt worse over a long period of time and do not wish to ever! Literally nothing mattered to me anymore. I felt stuck. I was essentially in a degree of my dreams with a bursary from my dream firm but the Trade-Off wasn't worth it in my opinion. Everything around me reflected my desolate internal state: toxic friends, indulging in common university vices like binge drinking 4 days a week, not doing assignments, etc

I felt as though i had no way out and was trapped to a lifetime of servitude at the expense of my time.

Fast forward to a few months back since having read TMF I'm in such a good headspace. THERE'S A WAY OUT OF THE SLOWLANE AND IT'S HONESTLY WHAT MOTIVATES ME DAILY. I've even channeled my disdain for my degree structure to find faults and issues in the system which i could solve and potentially monetise as a Fastlane business system. I do, however, have a concrete Fastlane business system idea which I'm working on executing at the moment. In time I'll be sharing updates ofc.

So yeah that's that. I didn't necessarily leave everything behind physically. Although i wanted to I'm forced to stay seeing as my parents don't support my endeavours and at 21 they're basically my entire financial support structure.

RN it's a race to see which comes first: graduating this degree and focusing on my business system full-tine (as per parents' deal) or making headway prior and being able to be independent enough to drop out and focus on my business model. Whichever comes first, I'm in my Fastlane and my mentality keeps me focused on the goal at all times -- True Wealth!

P.S i'm open to any and all words of advice or encouragement

 

[xy2_]

People say that how you do one thing is how you do everything - I think that's true.

As I type the words here, I look around at my apartment. I live alone with my mom. My room is clean, but what about the rest of the house? It's messy and there's food everywhere, and there's dust and unknown liquid and food crumbs in open view on the floor.

I was a little aware of my situation, but I thought it was just a normal kind of thing, and my mom is tired anyways and she'll clean up soon. That's until just a few weeks ago, when I had an FTE that I remember like it was yesterday.

The rest of my close family lives just a few minutes down the road. Something that happened often is that we would go eat there, instead of eating at home. My grandmother who lived there along with my uncle would make food for us, we would eat and then go back home. This happens every weekend to this day.

I went along with it. Two years ago, when I was 18, I was the same as my mom - my room was a mess, I didn't know how to make my bed and I would prefer playing video games all day rather than look around or go outside.

But over this year I met other people who gave me some insight into my situation. And, among other things, I started cleaning my room, I went to the gym, and I started a small reselling business. I think I started at first to be like other people, but over time I realized that I could do all these things for myself.

Anyways, the FTE comes when, one day, I'd been working on my internship (remote) all day and I needed some extra time to finish something. My mom calls me: she went straight from work to my grandmother's house and asks me if I want to come eat. I tell her that I'm busy and I'll make something to eat for myself, to hear: "Well, you're just gonna eat the same thing. You should go and get some fresh air and see your grandparents." More of the same.

But I really had to finish. I focused on my work, but I couldn't finish on time. I went and got to my grandmother's house, asking myself why I go along with this. But it wasn't that bad - right? During the walk to my grandmother's house I started looking around. Why do other people have beautiful homes? Why is my home tiny and cramped?

I got close to the house, but one thing was still on my mind - why? Then I went to the gate door, and from there I could see the seat that my mom used on to smoke cigarettes. She smoked for as long as I have known her. Next to it was another seat, the one my uncle uses. He was in his 40, and plays video games all day living with my grandmother, and smoked too. My uncle was always mad, for some reason.

Why didn't these people change? I thought this was an normal existence: that you were supposed to do the same thing over and over again and question nothing, never to improve or try something uncomfortable. But my experiences contradicted that. I'd met people who weren't apathetic or mad all day. I'd learned that I could, in fact, do things and act; and it would actually change my situation.

I realized that, although I had changed a lot over the year, everyone else was still the same, but with one more year. At that moment I had my hands on the gate knob. I turned around and left.

Afterwards I called my mom to tell her I wouldn't be eating at my grandmother's house. And she told me: "Are you mad? You don't want to go outside?" No, I don't want to "go outside", or whatever the excuse is today. I don't want to live my own life according to your own standards, and fall into mediocrity like the rest of my family.

So that's why I'm here now.

 

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[livetrue]

January 30th, 2019.

I've been at a company for one whole year at the time, but I regretted joining it within 2 days! My wife said to stick it out for at least 3 months. Sure enough, things did get better...

And then in the new year, I was told I'd be working on a crappy project overseeing contractors do some fun technical work. I've been asking my boss to work on that stuff, but they needed me to focus on other crappy projects to help things ship. My boss has told me when I got hired I'd be getting to work on some exciting green-field project.

Never happened.

I was depressed. That was the moment I decided I was going to quit, I just didn't know when. I stuck out for a whole year saving up money for "runway", and then quit this passed May.

Interestingly, everyone was pretty envious of my position to quit and go start my own company. "Wish I could do what you're doing..."

 

[LordGanon]

Because as of today, my new 12-week plan kicks in, I need another round of motivation. When I read the books, I asked myself if I had such a FTE. I don't think there was one. I think there were several. It's the same as with my alcoholism. Hear me out, what I type out has everything to do with my FTE concerning MODEL citizenship and entrepreneurship. One thing you often hear is that you have to reach such a point of desperation that you'll do anything to quit your drug of choice.

That's one of the reasons why at some point, I was sure I'd never get sober because there were so many absolute low points. Getting arrested (several times). Police, firemen and the medical emergency crew flooding the staircase and breaking into my apartment. Nearly dying a few times. I think that if I had to pinpoint the "reversal of my fate" when it comes to this, it was when I was on the phone with a friend who drove me to detoxication in the closed ward. He told me: "Listen, man. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear how hard it is to quit or how much you are suffering in withdrawal. We are your friends. We can only do so much. Pick you up and drive you to the hospital, catch you when you are running away, again. But actually quitting: That's on you. You're the only one who can do that."

And miraculously, I did. It wasn't a girlfriend or spouse that left me. Oh, how many women left me because of alcohol. No children saying they wanted nothing to do with me anymore. No lost job. Sure, my health was in the gutter. But it's not like nearly dying from tachycardia had changed anything. Or the many times I got a free ride in an ambulance.

I think it was being reminded that the only one who can change my fate is myself. I have to own my decisions and take responsibility for my life. And with giving up MODEL citizenship, it's the same as with alcohol: One day at a time. Some days will be easy, and on some days, you'll have to fight as hard as you can to stay on track.

These days, when I think that things are becoming hard concerning business, I remind myself of something someone in this forum wrote (I don't remember who). He had suffered from borreliosis. And any time business became hard, he told himself: "This is not as hard as borreliosis." I apply a similar logic: "This isn't harder than quitting alcohol." And trust me: It's friggin' hard.

And then again: It is not. Because just seeing the improvement in my life over a few months and regaining my full capacities, it kinda makes me wonder why I stuck with the bottle for so long. I hope the same will be true for entrepreneurship and abandoning MODEL citizenship forever.

But coming to classical FTE moments, here are some of mine (not in chronological order):

#1: After working 100% on a 50% position in academia (that is absolutely considered "normal" for people getting their Ph.D.) for several years, getting the best teaching evaluation of the whole faculty for 5 semesters in a row, I was discussing options with my professor. I was considering habilitating, which would have qualified me as a professor. My professor shook his head and said: "Don't do it. It's not that you don't have what it takes. You totally have that. But you'd waste your time. You're male, white, and don't have a migratory background. There's not going to be tenure for people like you for a long, long time."

Hear that sound? Years of dreams shattered in a few sentences. Because of my race and gender.

#2: While I went through my "It's all society's fault, the world is an evil and corrupt place, please take me away from here" phase, my former fiancee came by unannounced to pick up some stuff. "Let me in," she said, "I know that you're drinking again." Then, with her resolute Polish temperament, without any mercy, she told me to be ashamed of myself to throw away my potential. And when I told her that I don't care, I'd go become a self-sufficient farmer and wouldn't have anything to do with anyone anymore, she looked at me sternly and said: "Good luck. I got news for you: You need a lot of money for that." And off she went.

Can't argue with that. She was right.

#3: The agony of being unemployed and collecting benefits. I must have written around 200 applications. Everyone basically told me the same, if they told me anything at all: You're overqualified. You don't have enough experience. That's what years in academia get you in the real world out of the ivory tower. So what did I do? Work as a gas station attendant. Work as a bouncer, again. Hand out promotion leaflets. Et cetera.

The high costs of inapplicable knowledge...

#4: While working as an art therapist, I and a psychiatrist in the clinic fell in love. Soon, we more or less moved in together and so came in to work together. This, of course, got noticed. And then, HR invited us to talk. I had been treated in the same clinic before (this is actually quite common, a lot of people working in psychiatry have formerly been patients or...and that is quite more often than you'd think...become patients later on). She had never been my doctor and we had met each other outside of the clinic. But HR wouldn't have it. I told them very bluntly that I won't negotiate our private life with them. No law had been broken, no rule of our contracts violated.

Seriously: My employer wants to tell me who I can or can't ****? **** this.

#5: The McKinsey a**hole who tried to force me out of the company I had 49% ownership of. And of course, my broke partner, up to his chin in debt, loved him, because he had lots and lots of money. He chose to be blind to the fact that the guy wanted nothing else but our list of clients. In the end, I left voluntarily. But just so that I never have to deal with people like that again, I want to make it. And I want to own everything 100%, so I don't have to negotiate with anyone about anything.

#6: When I was 19 and the question came up what I want to do after school, my then-girlfriend shook her head and said: "You got no other option than being self-employed. I can't imagine you ever putting up with a boss. Or anyone telling you what to do, for that matter."

She was somewhat right. In later years, I became much more compliant, but there was only one boss I really liked working for. And I still like working for people, as long as I can learn from them. Apart from that, I'm not interested in ever doing that again.

#7: Every conversation with my mother during which she tells me to get a good job, make a career, find a nice woman, buy a house...then everything would be okay and I could stop having my silly ideas.

One of these silly ideas has to "§%&/"%§/&"§% work so I can finally prove her wrong. Here's my career. Here's my house. Here's my 1334th silly idea. It made me more money in five years than you and dad made in your whole lives. Inflation-adjusted. And I did not have to bow to a boss. I did not have to bow to the government. I did not make anybody else rich. I enriched other people's lives and thereby made myself rich.


So gradually, I have accepted the fact that I am responsible for making this happen. My actions determine the possible outcomes. It doesn't matter if I have to start five or ten more businesses until one finally provides enough value, paired with skillful execution, so I hit my goal on my 40th birthday. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Opportunities come and go with the certainty of tides. But preparation: That's on me.

Sure I have some regrets about wasted years in uni. I have a lot of regrets about the years wasted to alcohol. And although it has been said again and again and again and is a cheesy line if there is one, it's absolutely true: The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.