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GOLD! Have you had your "FTE"? (Or Was it an FTM?!)

BellaPippin

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My f*ck this event was not a single event but an amalgamation of thoughts and experiences which ended up tilting the scale away from conventional beliefs and action.

This. I have a FTM every day at 9am, when I start to work, but want to paint instead, but have to hunt data and entry it on infinite excel spreadsheets. So each day(ish) I try to do something that takes me there.
 

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midnight

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This is just for fun and perhaps some value may come out of it. But what was your FTE, if multiple, please feel free to name them and DESCRIBE them :)? If you are on a pursuit of something big, what was it that stirred to flip your world 180 degree? I know different people come from background and have different FTE, so I'm curious to hear about them.
This is mine if you're curious:
For me it was school and the realization that it was not going to get me where I wanted to be. I was not learning how to offer value, but rather consuming text books and was focused on getting good grades. The more I thought about learning for another few years, I knew that I was going to become a model consumer and worker with the debt I'd be in. Albeit things I learned were applicable to business, but it was not the business I would be willing to get into at the time and even now. Much more, I was hesitant to give so many years of my life for a profession that I did not now anything other than the title and salary. I was doing most of it because I'd been told all my life that becoming a physician was a job that will bring you reliable wealth and happiness. My first year of Uni went like this until the point where I was sleeping enough to walk like a zombie every day and was busy numbing myself with the gym and preworkouts to forget about my entrepreneurial dreams on my free time, until I was was struck with depression and all I could think about was doing the "what ifs" every morning as I woke up. I use to describe it as waking up with cold shackles called Uni on your feet and wanting to snooze more, because dreaming felt better than actually living. I hurts so bad that I was breathing but not living and wanted to dream away my time away to the point where I literally wanted to do anything but sleep because I knew that if I slept, I would not want to wake up to reality. This was my FTE, when I am so apathetic that I can barely think about waking up and realize that if I continue doing the same crap I did, I'd be like this for the next few years of my life... and boy was my life-span going to be short. I wanted to offer value because I knew that was the only way for me to get my a$$ out of the hole I was in. I had no skills except for memorization of equations and theories from uni. I didn't know much so my first pursuit of entrepreneurship was web-design and learning sales/marketing skills that I could apply across other businesses and things have been going up from there. I'm still learning and growing every single day, and I'm quite happy with that, knowing that everything I learn from here it is from experience... the failures... the mistakes... the small wins. And I'm quite excited too because the things I'm learning are applied and offered to the marketplace to judge, not memorized and forgotten after a test/project/slide show. I'll be honest (this is the funny/corny part) I don't know for sure if anything I do will work out but I'm content with the fact that everyday it feels like a movie because I'm chasing a dream and not just dreaming about it. Right about now I hear MJ voice in my head saying "Ideas may fail, but you are not a failure", what a night haha
 

MJ DeMarco

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This is just for fun and perhaps some value may come out of it. But what was your FTE, if multiple, please feel free to name them and DESCRIBE them :)? If you are on a pursuit of something big, what was it that stirred to flip your world 180 degree? I know different people come from background and have different FTE, so I'm curious to hear about them.
This is mine if you're curious:
For me it was school and the realization that it was not going to get me where I wanted to be. I was not learning how to offer value, but rather consuming text books and was focused on getting good grades. The more I thought about learning for another few years, I knew that I was going to become a model consumer and worker with the debt I'd be in. Albeit things I learned were applicable to business, but it was not the business I would be willing to get into at the time and even now. Much more, I was hesitant to give so many years of my life for a profession that I did not now anything other than the title and salary. I was doing most of it because I'd been told all my life that becoming a physician was a job that will bring you reliable wealth and happiness. My first year of Uni went like this until the point where I was sleeping enough to walk like a zombie every day and was busy numbing myself with the gym and preworkouts to forget about my entrepreneurial dreams on my free time, until I was was struck with depression and all I could think about was doing the "what ifs" every morning as I woke up. I use to describe it as waking up with cold shackles called Uni on your feet and wanting to snooze more, because dreaming felt better than actually living. I hurts so bad that I was breathing but not living and wanted to dream away my time away to the point where I literally wanted to do anything but sleep because I knew that if I slept, I would not want to wake up to reality. This was my FTE, when I am so apathetic that I can barely think about waking up and realize that if I continue doing the same crap I did, I'd be like this for the next few years of my life... and boy was my life-span going to be short. I wanted to offer value because I knew that was the only way for me to get my a$$ out of the hole I was in. I had no skills except for memorization of equations and theories from uni. I didn't know much so my first pursuit of entrepreneurship was web-design and learning sales/marketing skills that I could apply across other businesses and things have been going up from there. I'm still learning and growing every single day, and I'm quite happy with that, knowing that everything I learn from here it is from experience... the failures... the mistakes... the small wins. And I'm quite excited too because the things I'm learning are applied and offered to the marketplace to judge, not memorized and forgotten after a test/project/slide show. I'll be honest (this is the funny/corny part) I don't know for sure if anything I do will work out but I'm content with the fact that everyday it feels like a movie because I'm chasing a dream and not just dreaming about it. Right about now I hear MJ voice in my head saying "Ideas may fail, but you are not a failure", what a night haha

I moved your thread to the existing thread.
 

Ivan M.

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My FTE happened when my wife and kids took me out for dinner on my birthday in a lavish restaurant on the other side of town. I was shocked because it was one of those five-star restaurants everyone was talking about. Well the thing that go me was that my wife only had enough money for me to have that one meal, so I ended up eating by myself while sitting across the table my wife and two little girls watched me. I tried to share but the waiters were going to charge me more for extra plates. At the time I was working 2 jobs and nevertheless, still wasn't able to afford a decent meal with my family on my birthday to say the least. Right then and there I had my FTE.

It was more than that, a FTE with a side of fries and a milkshake.
 
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Matua

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I studied and took courses for a trade I never wanted nor liked, but felt like I had to.
Once every week I dreaded the journey to drive 30+ miles to attend these courses.
Then after months of study and exams, I landed an entry-level job in a trade and hated it immediately.

My FTE was the sudden realization that: I will be doing this for the next 40, 30, 20, 10, 5 years, or even 1 year of my life. Every time I come home from work, I was exhausted and unmotivated to do anything. I had no interest in this career whatsoever, so I despised going to work every day. The only interest that I had for this was: money, and even that wasn't enough to sacrifice my own well-being and genuine passion for other things outside of this career.

I quit the job very shortly after being hired, which I have no regrets of doing. My family wanted me to stay for at least a month, but I quit less than that to keep my sanity in check. In doing so, I called a close family member that is on the Slowlane, about his "why" for being able to keep up working at his respected job in the healthcare industry.

His response:
"You're trying to ask about what really makes a person do what he does. It's really different for everyone, but the main thing is that you have to genuinely enjoy what you're doing. You can't just power your way through something that you don't like, that is never going to work. I do what I do because I want to help people and my job allows me to do that. Of course there are pros and cons with every job, but I love the process of doing it and enjoy what I do."

This conversation was refreshing to hear, because you can still learn from people regardless of their circumstance and background, slowlane or fastlane. It is just how they approach life differently is what we can call it the Slowlane or Fastlane way of living.

After the conversation, I kept myself locked in my room for one month and thought really hard about what I wanted to do. I was afraid of charting into the unknown and making my own path into the future without the Slowlane way of living-- full-time job, education, etc. When it came down to it, I just simply thought: What do I REALLY want to do?
Right now, right here, and in the future?


And then, I got started working on a personal project and never looked back since.

Ever since that moment, I've been following my gut this whole time. Yeah, there were ups and downs, as is life. But I never felt better just enjoying what it is that I'm doing and even trying to make the world a less crappy place than it already is.
 

P789

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My FTE? All related to bad weather.

If you are always reading and watching the news on the internet, you know that our area (Bicol Region) has been recently visited by 4 of the most powerful typhoons in a single month and my community was severly devastated that I am desperately wanted to help in many ways but the twist? I have no money.

And as for the FTM, gettin scammed by a BRO marketer with the name of Anik and got into $600 (₱30000) in debt and luckily, my mom paid for it and it was my fault in the first place and I have to pay the price for doing it.
 
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Mr4213

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I love this thread topic.

I've had several "fake" FTE's that I mistook as legitimate.

It was actually only recently that I went through a genuine FTE and it completely changed my life.

I found myself at 24 with nothing to my name. Behind on all my bills. About to lose my car. No job or source of income. Kicked out of my apartment. No goals or sense of who I was. Surrounded by drug use and people who use drugs. In short, I was in a dark dark place.

But funny enough the event that finally triggered my FTE was my girlfriend leaving me.

That was what finally broke me.

My FTE was extremely traumatic. I started realizing just how deluded and f*** up I had been for years and years. I was not living in alignment with who I am down to the core. I didn't even know who I was.

It was so traumatic I actually threw up all over myself while driving at one point. I was so sick with myself that I literally was throwing up.

What followed was a week of complete disorientation, chaotic emotions, and extreme doubt in myself. I couldn't tell up from down. I was lost like I'd never been lost before.

It could have went two ways. I could have completely spiraled out of control, or I could actually f*cking change for the better.

I spent a lot of time alone in conversation with myself trying to figure out who and what it is I want to be.

I decided that enough is enough. I couldn't do it anymore. I hated who I had become because that person wasn't me.

I soon gained a level of commitment and dedication I had never before had.

I started changing and creating habits that get me where I want to go.

My thinking process (evolved?) changed in multiple ways. I'm now a long term thinker. I want genuine results over the long term, I no longer care about "events". I think it terms of process now.

For me it became less about the short term "rewards" of something and more about the consistency and persistence. Time is my ally, not an enemy. In other words, if my goal was to get in shape, I don't check the scale every day and use the number as a success metric. I judge the success by doing what people in shape do. I work out and eat better every single day consistently. Every day that I complete and improve my process, is the success itself.

I get a little bit better each day and that's all that matters. One decision, one moment, one day at a time.

I'd explain it like this, I started living my life as who I am. You don't just become your best self as if it's some event. You actually become your best self by "being" that person every day consistently! The results come with time. Consistently making successful decisions is how you become a successful person. You become successful because you *are* a successful person if that makes sense.

At this phase of my life I am a completely different person with a drive and motivation I've never experienced. It's real and you can feel it. I don't even think about who I was anymore. I consider him dead. I only care about consistently getting better every day.

The FTE is very real and you'll know when it hits you. Your paths diverge and you make the choice of which one you take.
 

MJ DeMarco

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The FTE is very real and you'll know when it hits you.

Very true, if you sit around wondering "Hmmm, did I have my FTE?" more than likely, you haven't.
 

ZF Lee

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And as for the FTM, gettin scammed by a BRO marketer with the name of Anik and got into $600 (₱30000) in debt and luckily, my mom paid for it and it was my fault in the first place and I have to pay the price for doing it.
Anik Singal?
Yeah...I've seen some of his copywriting course material before.
Very surface-level...would be better off learning from the classics like Eugene Schwartz or just reading great sales copy from industry competitors.

My FTE was the sudden realization that: I will be doing this for the next 40, 30, 20, 10, 5 years, or even 1 year of my life. Every time I come home from work, I was exhausted and unmotivated to do anything. I had no interest in this career whatsoever, so I despised going to work every day. The only interest that I had for this was: money, and even that wasn't enough to sacrifice my own well-being and genuine passion for other things outside of this career.
Unfortunately, this can even apply even way back for college kids.
I'm finishing my business degree presently, and when I had to work with folks from other business majors in a group capstone project, I had to struggle to get people to come for regular meetings, to do even an extra ounce of research or editing and even to just sit down with the tutor.

I wondered if they really were interested in the project (it was a business plan on a sleep/wake-up lamp), or if they just half-heartedly wanted to get it done to have enough credits to graduate for a job.

The more I thought about it, the more I put myself in their shoes...imagining their exhaustion and depression to do the project, all just to hopefully get some grades to qualify for an entry-level job.

That was why I asked them if anyone felt burnt out, and even offered to do extra sections of the report.
Tried to offer a helping hand or a recourse.

But no one admitted, and towards the deadline, I ended up doing lots of clean-up work for the college assignment after they crapped over it.

Me thinks my groupmates felt something like what you thought, but they chose to crap all over their group work and other peers, instead of focusing on more positive actions.
 

Anis25072

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I had my FTE 1 week ago, I was in class in college, studying a module that I didn't give a f' about, instructed by a teacher that didn't know sh*t about what he was teaching, + my classmates were the stinky geek type that are addicted to social media and games and porn, that just comply and stay conform and follow all the rules without questionning any authority, + I know for sure that after getting the diploma the salary isn't that high, So I said f*ck this I'm not following this crappy road anymore
 

Itizn

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From high school into adulthood, anytime I had to convince someone of my aptitude for a minimal reward, (i.e. getting a good grade or advancing to the next step of the interview process) a piece of me inside felt disgusted. I knew the end game of that interaction wasn't worth what I found to be degrading activity. I could just never really articulate all that until my mid to late 20's.

If I have to convince, impress, or "manipulate", any one person or any group, I want the payout to lead to something I can be proud of.
 

Alfie321

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For me it was a process and I ended up here by accident.

I've only had two "real jobs" before and I was ok with it. One when i was 14 and another one when i was in college. The moment that made me want to pursue this path happened when I was having so much fun just going out to learn social skills, I realized I could never go back to having a job and not having the possibility to keep doing it. I wanted to do it anywhere anytime I wanted, and so I made my first business and crushed that goal 5 years ago.

Though imperfect, my first business really cemented my thinking about not living life like everyone else, and I just couldn't go back to just settling, I'd rather die trying.

Later on I got a job, but one that was doing 5x my first business, that let me do things at my own schedule and one that I can do anywhere. It was my first step into the bigger picture of coming back with loads of ammunition to build another business. Currently doing that and wouldn't go back (and can't go back anyways, since I'm past the point of never needing to work again!)
 

mdot

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My FTE was the month of February 2018. I had returned to a previous internship excited to pick up where I left off in developing the electronics, firmware and software of novel IoT platform for the company. In my inexperience I assumed this was implied when I arranged to return, but the company had other plans. Almost as soon as I had arrived I was moved to a menial data entry task. I thought I was assisting another coworker temporarily, but most of January and the whole month of February was spent entering part details into a database under a tight deadline.

I sucked it up and ground it out - I was getting paid a decent internship salary and I WAS an intern afterall, but it really wore me down and I couldn't find the energy to work on projects outside of work. To fill my time at home I netflixed or gamed absentmindedly.

Due to patent issues, the project was scrapped in early March. February 2018 essentially evaporated from my life - I had nothing to show for it. It was at that point I decided I needed to take back control of my life.

Until that point I had been a fairly awkward person. I took big steps out of my comfort zone that summer, notably by joining a local improv class and taking the initiative to organize after-class drinks. (I faked my way through it at first, taking inspiration from how Michael Scott's improv class would grab drinks afterwards, though I made sure to invite everyone. At a certain point it felt natural). It would be more than two years until I would discover Unscripted , but the FTE set me on the path of realizing that the only reliable source of constant progress is within myself. If my "work work" gets tossed, I had better have been moving the needle outside of work. If my own projects fail, I will have at least learned from them to try again.

A second, lesser FTE (or maybe FTM?) was in February 2020. I had been reading a lot about FIRE (financial independence, retire early). I pictured myself working hard, saving half my paycheck and retiring in a small but nice, fairly inexpensive town with a family. I opened my first managed investment account in early February, and poured about a third of my savings in. A week later, the market had crashed and I was down almost 30%. I held my positions and my money returned over the course of 2020 but the experience scared me. I lacked control of my money*. I discovered Unscripted in November 2020, and I'm excited to be walking this new path.

*Edit: I admit I may also have lacked proper knowledge of the markets
 
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ItsAJackal

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I think I just had mine. It literally just happened 10 minutes ago.

This story could be 4 paragraphs long, but the extremely short version is I was hired 2 years ago for a sales position at a company, but they wanted me to consult for one of the other divisions for 6 months first. Due to Covid, they didn't want to give me a new sales territory, so 6 months turned into 1 year. 1 year into 2 years.

I was then told that they want me to stay in this division but were going to move me up to a Director level. That level came with it a certain salary range. While it removes the ability to scale with the sales comp plan, I was told I'd be given comparable comp to a upper mid range sales engineer.

I just found out today that instead of moving me up to Director, they created another level under Director which is where I will reside (as a middle manager), and my pay is now capped at about 30% less than what they promised me. But they still expect me to work 50-60 hours a week, and now manage a group of 11 people.

I'm done. I'm absolutely F-ing done. I am so sick of busting my a$$ and having to beg to be paid half what the VPs are getting. The job is absolutely ruining my mental health. They are forcing me into positions that I don't want to be in for much less money than I am worth. I come home tired and miserable, sometimes up working until 1am to get all the work done. I haven't consistently exercised in 8 months because I'm so exhausted from this place.
 

LuckyPup

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I think I just had mine. It literally just happened 10 minutes ago.

This story could be 4 paragraphs long, but the extremely short version is I was hired 2 years ago for a sales position at a company, but they wanted me to consult for one of the other divisions for 6 months first. Due to Covid, they didn't want to give me a new sales territory, so 6 months turned into 1 year. 1 year into 2 years.

I was then told that they want me to stay in this division but were going to move me up to a Director level. That level came with it a certain salary range. While it removes the ability to scale with the sales comp plan, I was told I'd be given comparable comp to a upper mid range sales engineer.

I just found out today that instead of moving me up to Director, they created another level under Director which is where I will reside (as a middle manager), and my pay is now capped at about 30% less than what they promised me. But they still expect me to work 50-60 hours a week, and now manage a group of 11 people.

I'm done. I'm absolutely F-ing done. I am so sick of busting my a$$ and having to beg to be paid half what the VPs are getting. The job is absolutely ruining my mental health. They are forcing me into positions that I don't want to be in for much less money than I am worth. I come home tired and miserable, sometimes up working until 1am to get all the work done. I haven't consistently exercised in 8 months because I'm so exhausted from this place.
f*ck 'em
 

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