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Don't mix family with business. Is it worth it or not?

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

K1 Lambo

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You know what they say: "Never mix family with business or friends".

There are obviously two sides of the coin here.

On one side, if you look at the richest muslim families, they're all about mixing family business together. Especially if you look into the very wealthy muslim families, they are all involved. Aka traditional values, the dads and sons work at the business while the moms stay at home and take care of children. Which is very smart, and that explains the fact that muslim families in the UK are usually far more successful than british families in the UK.

Heck, even some of the biggest businesses ever were started by families. Correct me if I'm wrong, didn't Sam Walton start Walmart by taking a loan from his uncle or something like that?

But on the other hand, so much wrong can happen. The negatives outweigh the positives by a big margin. I've seen this happen with my own two eyes, when greed starts taking over; destroyed friendships/relationships, wanting more for working less, one wants to expand while the other wants to get a bigger paycheck and so on.

Because people are by nature greedy, and particularly once they get access to big money that they've never had before aka $500k a month in cash and so on.

Once I've heard a man say; "It's much better to open a business with someone you met with the same purpose in mind than open it with a relative or friend."

Since I was thinking of getting some of my family members involved in my online business, but that can go so wrong. I wouldn't trust them with the money and managing our employees though but I see how they struggle and I'd love to contribute in some way.

I'd like to hear your thoughts and experiences if you have some...

EDIT:
Obviously it's a different thing if you hire let's say your wife or gf when your business already has employees and she's just doing some stuff on the side vs starting a new company completely from scratch as a 50/50 partner.
 
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Last edited:

Lindazhou

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You know what they say: "Never mix family with business or friends".

There are obviously two sides of the coin here.

On one side, if you look at the richest muslim families, they're all about mixing family business together. Especially if you look into the very wealthy muslim families, they are all involved. Aka traditional values, the dads and sons work at the business while the moms stay at home and take care of children. Which is very smart, and that explains the fact that muslim families in the UK are usually far more successful than british families in the UK.

Heck, even some of the biggest businesses ever were started by families. Correct me if I'm wrong, didn't Sam Walton start Walmart by taking a loan from his uncle or something like that?

But on the other hand, so much wrong can happen. The negatives outweigh the positives by a big margin. I've seen this happen with my own two eyes, when greed starts taking over; destroyed friendships/relationships, wanting more for working less, one wants to expand while the other wants to get a bigger paycheck and so on.

Because people are by nature greedy, and particularly once they get access to big money that they've never had before aka $500k a month in cash and so on.

Once I've heard a man say; "It's much better to open a business with someone you met with the same purpose in mind than open it with a relative or friend."

Since I was thinking of getting some of my family members involved in my online business, but that can go so wrong. I wouldn't trust them with the money and managing our employees though but I see how they struggle and I'd love to contribute in some way.

I'd like to hear your thoughts and experiences if you have some...

EDIT:
Obviously it's a different thing if you hire let's say your wife or gf when your business already has employees and she's just doing some stuff on the side vs starting a new company completely from scratch as a 50/50 partner.
Hello, I used to worked in an UK company Qingdao office. I had been worked for 12 years. When the office closed, I back home and gave birth for a baby. Now I am looking for some work. What your on-line scope of business? Can I be of help?
 

BlokeInProgress

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You know what they say: "Never mix family with business or friends".

There are obviously two sides of the coin here.

On one side, if you look at the richest muslim families, they're all about mixing family business together. Especially if you look into the very wealthy muslim families, they are all involved. Aka traditional values, the dads and sons work at the business while the moms stay at home and take care of children. Which is very smart, and that explains the fact that muslim families in the UK are usually far more successful than british families in the UK.

Heck, even some of the biggest businesses ever were started by families. Correct me if I'm wrong, didn't Sam Walton start Walmart by taking a loan from his uncle or something like that?

But on the other hand, so much wrong can happen. The negatives outweigh the positives by a big margin. I've seen this happen with my own two eyes, when greed starts taking over; destroyed friendships/relationships, wanting more for working less, one wants to expand while the other wants to get a bigger paycheck and so on.

Because people are by nature greedy, and particularly once they get access to big money that they've never had before aka $500k a month in cash and so on.

Once I've heard a man say; "It's much better to open a business with someone you met with the same purpose in mind than open it with a relative or friend."

Since I was thinking of getting some of my family members involved in my online business, but that can go so wrong. I wouldn't trust them with the money and managing our employees though but I see how they struggle and I'd love to contribute in some way.

I'd like to hear your thoughts and experiences if you have some...

EDIT:
Obviously it's a different thing if you hire let's say your wife or gf when your business already has employees and she's just doing some stuff on the side vs starting a new company completely from scratch as a 50/50 partner.
Have experienced doing business with friends and whoever had the strongest personality often gets their way which sometimes causes some unseen friction.
I value my friends and I'd rather not do it again in the future.
 
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UK_Mike

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I think you run the risk of ruining perfectly good friendships or businesses - if you have a disagreement about the business, it's not always easy (or possible) to keep that separate from the personal side of their friendship and it can cause divisions, sometimes serious or irreparable ones.
 

Boogie

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You've said that you can't trust them. Why would you consider them?

Getting a loan is not exactly the same as being in business with someone, however it can be just as devastating to relationships.

A friend had to buy out all of his friends who invested in his company. It was a mess and hurt his relationships.

I wanted a business with a family member to help her and to give me someone I could trust. I was stupid for even considering it. Now that I have more experience with her dealings, I would never want any part of my business, income, or mental health, or life dependant on her. It's a no sociopath zone.

I realized I wasted too much time trying to help someone who would scuttle an entire business.

Be careful translating a Muslim company to something with less rigid norms of conduct.
 
Last edited:

heavy_industry

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Anytime you start a business with one or more partners you run the risk of having to deal with a lot of drama down the line. A lot of startups (Facebook is a high profile example), and even musical bands have gone through this.

It depends heavily on the kind of people involved, but I would say that having sole ownership is always the better choice.
 
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SPM_ENT

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Since you've asked for experiences and thoughts here are mine...

I've started 3 different businesses with "friends" and would at the very least recommend a 51/49 split. Someone needs to have the final say and it needs to be agreed upon by both partners who that person is.

Out of the 3 businesses I got rid of my first partner because he wasn't doing enough (this took me forever and wasted years of my life), my second partner I caught stealing and I ended things, and the current and third partner is lacking the drive to keep up. All of these have some of my own issues wrapped up in them, it wasn't all their fault but I also had to learn how to be a good partner myself, mostly communicating my needs and the needs of the company so they could understand. Having the same end goals and a road map for who will be doing each step of the way is important to keep everyone accountable.

I've hired my sister as our financial controller and she's one of my favorite employees. She has the same mindset as I do and I can trust her 100% with the money. She also has a financial background so it's a good fit. If employees have clearly defined KPI's that align with the company's goals, it makes it very easy to manage and it doesn't matter as much if they're family. Honestly family should be working harder than anyone else to prove that there's no special treatment going on and because they care. If they don't it's probably not a good fit.
 

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