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How to deal with family and business?

LiveEntrepreneur

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One problem I have and have had for a while, is my parents they always want me to sit with them. I work all day then they want me to sit with them until they go bed because they don't want to be alone. This is irritating as it disrupts my productivity. Usually I will bring my laptop down and sit down with them and do my ork, but the productivity isn't as good as if I go in my study. Just wondering how do you guys deal with this sort of situation?

They don't understand my business goals, haven't really explained it but I tell them I am working on my own stuff. I don't bother telling as they wouldn't understand anyways.
 

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ZF Lee

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One problem I have and have had for a while, is my parents they always want me to sit with them. I work all day then they want me to sit with them until they go bed because they don't want to be alone. This is irritating as it disrupts my productivity. Usually I will bring my laptop down and sit down with them and do my ork, but the productivity isn't as good as if I go in my study. Just wondering how do you guys deal with this sort of situation?

They don't understand my business goals, haven't really explained it but I tell them I am working on my own stuff. I don't bother telling as they wouldn't understand anyways.
I have the same problem.

It's one of the reasons I actually carry on studying in a university far from home.
I work on Fastlane stuff on the side of my studies (although I'm looking to dump the latter)

See if your business need you to go meet outside people or go to outside meetups/ education talks.
Would also be a 'decent excuse' to be away.
 

Chris25

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They don't understand my business goals, haven't really explained it but I tell them I am working on my own stuff. I don't bother telling as they wouldn't understand anyways.
I've faced similar problems, somewhat with my family but more with my friends not respecting my work as they don't really comprehend how it goes. And sometimes even brainstorming and doing research is work, and that might seem like doing nothing to some people.

What I've found useful is to not to be rude about it or get nervous, because you can't expect them to naturally understand. Instead, find the right time to talk to them and explain how things work in your world. Here is an example:

"Lately I was thinking a lot about my side business and I figured out that I must invest a lot more time than I expected. So that is why starting this Monday I've actually made a schedule for working in the evenings and I must follow it if I want it to succeed.

I figured out that I need to respect that schedule as if it is created by someone of authority above me, just like a job. After work, I will take some time to relax with you, and after that, I must work and be focused on my goal."

Of course, this won't be a one-sided conversation, so talk to them and try to explain your goal and your focus and not the details of what it is you do. They will understand your actions and hopefully respect your effort to succeed.

If that doesn't work then you should still stick to your schedule without feeling guilty and giving in. And certainly, give them some quality time when you can because they are important as well.
 

guy93777

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They don't understand my business goals, haven't really explained it but I tell them I am working on my own stuff. I don't bother telling as they wouldn't understand anyways.
this is the same thing everywhere in society

once people are programmed to see things a certain way ( TV, media, political correctness etc ) statistics show that only a small percentage of the population can escape the programming.

it is estimated that less than 10 % of the population can escape the early programming of their mind. they are lost forever

this is why i guarantee that MJ Demarco won't sell millions of copies of his books

guaranteed. we can't fight against statistics





people are the energy of a system called" society ". this system is managed by the medias which control what we call " public opinion "

less than 10 % of the population can escape the programming

25957
 

Paul Burrows

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I've taken a lot of time recently to look at my productivity and I found that Im much less productive in the evening. I've now started getting up early and working an hour or 2 before the family rise. Im also pretty productive for an hour while the kids eat lunch. I'm not too hard on myself in the evening.
 

Kevin88660

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One problem I have and have had for a while, is my parents they always want me to sit with them. I work all day then they want me to sit with them until they go bed because they don't want to be alone. This is irritating as it disrupts my productivity. Usually I will bring my laptop down and sit down with them and do my ork, but the productivity isn't as good as if I go in my study. Just wondering how do you guys deal with this sort of situation?

They don't understand my business goals, haven't really explained it but I tell them I am working on my own stuff. I don't bother telling as they wouldn't understand anyways.
Do you have a siblings to take turn to talk them into sleep?
 

Kevin88660

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I've faced similar problems, somewhat with my family but more with my friends not respecting my work as they don't really comprehend how it goes. And sometimes even brainstorming and doing research is work, and that might seem like doing nothing to some people.

What I've found useful is to not to be rude about it or get nervous, because you can't expect them to naturally understand. Instead, find the right time to talk to them and explain how things work in your world. Here is an example:

"Lately I was thinking a lot about my side business and I figured out that I must invest a lot more time than I expected. So that is why starting this Monday I've actually made a schedule for working in the evenings and I must follow it if I want it to succeed.

I figured out that I need to respect that schedule as if it is created by someone of authority above me, just like a job. After work, I will take some time to relax with you, and after that, I must work and be focused on my goal."

Of course, this won't be a one-sided conversation, so talk to them and try to explain your goal and your focus and not the details of what it is you do. They will understand your actions and hopefully respect your effort to succeed.

If that doesn't work then you should still stick to your schedule without feeling guilty and giving in. And certainly, give them some quality time when you can because they are important as well.
In my mid 20s I get the invitations to outings a lot, mostly from friends from the same age group or formerly studied in the same University.

As I moved into late 20s and early 30s the invitations disappeared. Girls are occupied with marriage and babies. Guys are occupied with busy work and pleasing their fiancees.
 

Andy Black

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Work when they go to sleep? Get up early and work when they’re still asleep?

Don’t be “irritated” because your parents want to spend time with you. They won’t be around forever so appreciate every moment you can with them.
 

MarkHenry

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I have the same problem now.
I was happy when I was single. Now, It's really tough for me to maintain my family and the business.

But the most interesting things is that I've now got a time schedule through which I can handle those two things better.
 

biophase

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What do they want you to do when you sit with them? Do They want to talk to you? Or do they just want you to be by them in the same room.
 

Bearcorp

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Is it really your parents that are the problem though? Didn't you start a thread recently saying how in one room your productive but in another room all you want to do is watch tv?

You need to consider moving out, your WHY for getting things done and being productive will dramatically increase when rent, food, electricity, hot water, is all on you. Even if you rent a room in a share house, you need to break out of your comfort zone so that your no longer getting distracted.
 

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OP
OP
LiveEntrepreneur

LiveEntrepreneur

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Is it really your parents that are the problem though? Didn't you start a thread recently saying how in one room your productive but in another room all you want to do is watch tv?

You need to consider moving out, your WHY for getting things done and being productive will dramatically increase when rent, food, electricity, hot water, is all on you. Even if you rent a room in a share house, you need to break out of your comfort zone so that your no longer getting distracted.
Yeah, that was part of it so my normal room was distracting, I went to an empty room and increase improved dramatically. recently I changed my environment and made a HUGE difference thanks to the person from my previous post.
 

BlackMagician

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Work when they go to sleep? Get up early and work when they’re still asleep?

Don’t be “irritated” because your parents want to spend time with you. They won’t be around forever so appreciate every moment you can with them.
As Andy said, why not work some other time? They are blessings which you will miss later when you become millionaire
 

ZF Lee

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As I moved into late 20s and early 30s the invitations disappeared. Girls are occupied with marriage and babies. Guys are occupied with busy work and pleasing their fiancees.
I've went to meetups (networking events and church) that had men around those ages, and older.

Sure, they may have busy schedules, but the ones that came for the meetings usually either were looking for answers, or had already gotten their lives arranged relatively well.

So I think its still possible to have invitations and meetings with folks.
Just expect that pool to be smaller, but a lot more steady-minded.

Work when they go to sleep? Get up early and work when they’re still asleep?

Don’t be “irritated” because your parents want to spend time with you. They won’t be around forever so appreciate every moment you can with them.
@LiveEntrepreneur, do your parents still work?
Or what do they spend the rest of the day doing? Are they retired with just hobbies and charities?

While they are out working, that would usually be the time to do stuff.
 

Andy Black

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Haha. Wait till you have kids!
 

ZCP

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wish i could sit with my dad and watch tv. he worked all the time. we were always 'too busy' to talk to one another or go see one another. he passed away several years ago.

what i would give to sit on the couch like we did a few times when i was little and watch bugs bunny on a saturday morning (before going to work of course ... lol).

schedule time with them AND schedule time to work. both need to be important.

'what is your why?' is a key question in your life. it will help guide you.
 
OP
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LiveEntrepreneur

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I've went to meetups (networking events and church) that had men around those ages, and older.

Sure, they may have busy schedules, but the ones that came for the meetings usually either were looking for answers, or had already gotten their lives arranged relatively well.

So I think its still possible to have invitations and meetings with folks.
Just expect that pool to be smaller, but a lot more steady-minded.


@LiveEntrepreneur, do your parents still work?
Or what do they spend the rest of the day doing? Are they retired with just hobbies and charities?

While they are out working, that would usually be the time to do stuff.
Can't because we work same times. they just do normal 9-5 type of work.
 

Andy Black

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wish i could sit with my dad and watch tv. he worked all the time. we were always 'too busy' to talk to one another or go see one another. he passed away several years ago.

what i would give to sit on the couch like we did a few times when i was little and watch bugs bunny on a saturday morning (before going to work of course ... lol).

schedule time with them AND schedule time to work. both need to be important.

'what is your why?' is a key question in your life. it will help guide you.
Poignant.

I too would give almost anything to have another evening talking to my dad or brother. Appreciate what you’ve got before it’s gone. Don’t forget why you’re doing what you’re doing.
 

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Champion

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I have this problem too, my parents will often nag me when im working on my laptop as well and try to get my attention.

I try to see it the way that Andyblack says, they are your parents and they wont be there forever, so enjoy the time!

At the same time I need to add that I DONT live with my parents, so idk how it is in your situation.

IMO if you are over 25-28 and done with University, you deffinetly should not be living in your parents place. The disadvantages on your character and discipline deffinetly outweigh the money saved by having your own appartment (in my opinion atleast!).
 

minivanman

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Do as my wife does, she goes to her 92 year old mom's house 1 time during the week and then once on the weekend. Sometimes she spends the night on the weekend. Then, I go over and do all her cleaning any time it needs done and I sit and talk with her at that time.

Due to her age, we are having her move in with us this Sunday. Our master bedroom is very large so it will be like a small apartment for her. I don't think it will be a problem though. We are pretty good at setting our own boundaries.

Like the others, I'd give anything to sit with my mom and or dad again.
 

Lex Love

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As a man with a wife and three kids (one of them a newborn) I’m deep into figuring out how to balance work and family. And YES I did say balance, regardless of how much of a dirty word some entrepreneurial folks consider “balance” to be.

Couple things that have helped me:

- Build a life, not just a business. Look five, ten, twenty years into the future and ask “how would each of the major areas of my life be perfect? As an entrepreneur, husband, son, citizen, and on. Rank each role in order of importance and define how you would want to be remembered and viewed by the people involved in each role. This can offer a clarifying picture of where you should place your efforts

- Time can come in quantity AND quality. Often times we just view how MUCH time we spend with folks, as opposed to how we’re spending it. I promise you, twenty minutes of engaged, empathetic, fun, heartfelt time with your parents will mean more to them and hold the relationship together better than 3 hours of you working on your stuff with them in the same room.

- It cannot be overstated how clearly and frequently you must communicate what you’re up to. Even if they don’t understand or disagree, to clearly paint a picture of your goals, your plans, and how your activities are reaching those goals and plans, to explain WHY you are more distant will greatly alleviate the frustration of your absence. Even if they don’t see eye to eye, it’s difficult not to at least respect you in your efforts to do something great with your life and work hard to achieve it.

- If you’re not spending a lot of time with them, be sure to remain considerate, polite, respectful, in all your actions. You don’t wanna couple lack of engagement with poor interactions. That leaves them nothing to work with.


SIDE NOTE: don’t know you but... can you not move out of there?
 
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LiveEntrepreneur

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Have you tried growing up, moving out of mommy's basement and setting boundaries?
Yeah lots of time. I have thought about renting many times just for the self-discipline, be more self-reliant, and focused. (if it does that because in my case i have 2 pretty secure jobs)
 

100k

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Yeah lots of time. I have thought about renting many times just for the self-discipline, be more self-reliant, and focused. (if it does that because in my case i have 2 pretty secure jobs)
Do it.

Spend time with them on the weekends, on special occasions (birthdays, x-mas, easter etc.) - but the rest if the time is your time. Its time to become independent.

You're being a momma's boy and its not good for you as a man.

Just what I think anyways.
 

Vanderbilt

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One problem I have and have had for a while, is my parents they always want me to sit with them. I work all day then they want me to sit with them until they go bed because they don't want to be alone. This is irritating as it disrupts my productivity. Usually I will bring my laptop down and sit down with them and do my ork, but the productivity isn't as good as if I go in my study. Just wondering how do you guys deal with this sort of situation?

They don't understand my business goals, haven't really explained it but I tell them I am working on my own stuff. I don't bother telling as they wouldn't understand anyways.
just try to explain them, even you know they dont understand, just tell them its super important for you. You cant be always around, as hard as it sounds. As Entrepreneur its time to find a solution for them, you should ask them to join a Bridge club or something so they are not alone!!!


this is the same thing everywhere in society

once people are programmed to see things a certain way ( TV, media, political correctness etc ) statistics show that only a small percentage of the population can escape the programming.

it is estimated that less than 10 % of the population can escape the early programming of their mind. they are lost forever

this is why i guarantee that MJ Demarco won't sell millions of copies of his books

guaranteed. we can't fight against statistics





people are the energy of a system called" society ". this system is managed by the medias which control what we call " public opinion "

less than 10 % of the population can escape the programming

View attachment 25957
you are so annoying dude, the last 3 threads i read you posted such bs stuff how its not "done" instead of giving a solution... whats the point of your posts?
 
OP
OP
LiveEntrepreneur

LiveEntrepreneur

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Aug 17, 2017
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Australia
Do it.

Spend time with them on the weekends, on special occasions (birthdays, x-mas, easter etc.) - but the rest if the time is your time. Its time to become independent.

You're being a momma's boy and its not good for you as a man.

Just what I think anyways.
Yeah I see what you're saying.
 

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