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Doing business with people you loathe?

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

Private Witt

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When you come across a situation where the person does legit business but has qualities that make you cringe so hard core, but could make a win-win business deal do you bite the ego and proceed?

Anybody have any experience with teaming up with those who boil your blood but it worked out well.

While this deal did not go well I'm reminded of this scene where opposite people come together to strike a deal.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SJLNWKAuUo&t=105s
 
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Antifragile

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That was a good movie!
“treat him like a white man” “no, no, that’s not what I said” :rofl:

but back to your original question.

I’ve long ago made a decision that I only do business with people I trust. I don’t have to like you, but I must trust you. If I don’t, even a $1bl deal is of no internet to me. This rule serves me because I think dishonest people will find a way to re-interpret an agreement (even one signed and detailed), and it’s just not worth dealing with them. There are close to 8 billion people on this planet, I won’t settle for who I do business with.

and yes, I’ve had a bad experience with one such person that led to a lawsuit and only lawyers were the winners.
 

Surf&Turf

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This is tough, my situation is not the same but somewhat related. In my slow lane role, I have a customer that's business is the epitome of Big Brother, which I despise. The people at the customer's company are generally good, easy to work with, and buy a lot of product.

I continue to sell to them even though it feels wrong because:
A) I need/want the money
B) If I don't, someone else at my company or a competitor will sell them the product anyway
C) The city/state where it is used is not one I care to visit and its constituents reap what they sow

Long story short - it comes down to the battle between your financial and moral needs.
 
D

Deleted85763

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When you come across a situation where the person does legit business but has qualities that make you cringe so hard core, but could make a win-win business deal do you bite the ego and proceed?

Anybody have any experience with teaming up with those who boil your blood but it worked out well.

While this deal did not go well I'm reminded of this scene where opposite people come together to strike a deal.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SJLNWKAuUo&t=105s
In my experience people and companies that are honest, competent and reliable have no other bad qualities.
 
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Itizn

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haven't been presented with such a scenario, but barring any striking attributes, I'd think it wouldnt bother me.

I'm in business for the bottom line, and if they can get that done, then I'm all ears.
 

Phikey

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Nope. I now trust the feeling in my stomach.

I'll feel it, deep deep down, that it's a bad move to go ahead with this person. It doesn't matter how much money is there. I've turned down a lot of business because of this but it saved me so much pain.
 

Private Witt

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That was a good movie!
“treat him like a white man” “no, no, that’s not what I said” :rofl:

but back to your original question.

I’ve long ago made a decision that I only do business with people I trust. I don’t have to like you, but I must trust you. If I don’t, even a $1bl deal is of no internet to me. This rule serves me because I think dishonest people will find a way to re-interpret an agreement (even one signed and detailed), and it’s just not worth dealing with them. There are close to 8 billion people on this planet, I won’t settle for who I do business with.

and yes, I’ve had a bad experience with one such person that led to a lawsuit and only lawyers were the winners.

Yes, love that movie, I just read Leonardo based his character on Eric Cartman from South Park lol.

This is tough, my situation is not the same but somewhat related. In my slow lane role, I have a customer that's business is the epitome of Big Brother, which I despise. The people at the customer's company are generally good, easy to work with, and buy a lot of product.

I continue to sell to them even though it feels wrong because:
A) I need/want the money
B) If I don't, someone else at my company or a competitor will sell them the product anyway
C) The city/state where it is used is not one I care to visit and its constituents reap what they sow

Long story short - it comes down to the battle between your financial and moral needs.

Big brother a tough one, but if cash paying customer I would probably crumble. My boat is more creative deals where Im rendering payments.

haven't been presented with such a scenario, but barring any striking attributes, I'd think it wouldnt bother me.

I laughed at your post because part of what I do is with people in entertainment (musicians, models, promoters) and people can honest and reliable but their personality and ego quirks are so immense its almost unbearable to work with, its part of the game though and need to swallow it but Im an 80s Gen X guy and it can be hard.

I'm in business for the bottom line, and if they can get that done, then I'm all ears.

Yah bottom line is where its at and I got to bite my ego when dealing with other egos.
 
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Private Witt

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Nope. I now trust the feeling in my stomach.

I'll feel it, deep deep down, that it's a bad move to go ahead with this person. It doesn't matter how much money is there. I've turned down a lot of business because of this but it saved me so much pain.

I guess sometimes my stomach feels okay with the person as they are clean business wise but my brain which is connected to my ego says WTF is this chit.
 

Andy Black

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“Would I want to go for a coffee with them?”

That’s my litmus test.
 
D

Deleted85763

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“Would I want to go for a coffee with them?”

That’s my litmus test.
Sometimes the really nice people are the most dishonest. Some nice people are not competent or reliable. Some nice people are honest, competent and reliable - a great combination which I love to see in people I interact with and vice-versa.
 
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Loath? That's a deal breaker. But I don't loath often.

For me it comes down to ethics. If the thing I don't like about them relates to their ethics, if I don't trust their ethics, I'm out. Not just business ethics. I fired a client once who bragged about lying to the many women he dated. In business I knew him to be honest and reliable (we worked together for 6 months), but once I learned that, I excused myself from helping him further.

It's more of a quirk of their personality, like maybe they talk a lot on the phone and take up a lot of my time, then I make a judgment call. Sometimes I walk away.

But other times I charge a PITA tax (pain in the...) Hey as long as the guy is paying a higher rate than my usual and sending me regular referrals, I'm fine with him calling just to discuss stocks or "the economy".
 

PapaGang

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Ask yourself, "How much does this really cost me? In mental stress, in wasted time thinking about how I don't like this person/company, in repeatedly asking myself why I would want to subject myself to this, is it a personality weakness, is it an ego thing where I can brag later about being such a great person that I can work with people I loathe, do I really need the money that bad, how far am I really willing to go to make money, am I just a fraud at this point, what are my ethics really if I choose to work with them", etc. etc.

Everything has a cost. figure that out and proceed accordingly.
Personally, I try to not work with people I don't like. My time is more valuable than that.
 

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When you come across a situation where the person does legit business but has qualities that make you cringe so hard core, but could make a win-win business deal do you bite the ego and proceed?

Anybody have any experience with teaming up with those who boil your blood but it worked out well.

While this deal did not go well I'm reminded of this scene where opposite people come together to strike a deal.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SJLNWKAuUo&t=105s
The ENTJ/ESTJ are usually the one's I gear too because they push me to be my 100% best. I used to pick them on purpose even for professors because they pushed me to be the A student and get my work done to perfection.

It really depends though on the person themselves since sometimes I can clash with them. I used to take on them as clients as a nurse aide as well because other nurse aide's didn't like the perfectionism. Which basically,

if you learn how to work with the hardest individuals, you end up standing out from the rest of the crowd, because other individuals will not do the work and complain and moan about it's too hard. I just did what they asked me to do, left it at work, and went home. It's not like your with them 24/7 every day.
 
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Andy Black

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Sometimes the really nice people are the most dishonest. Some nice people are not competent or reliable. Some nice people are honest, competent and reliable - a great combination which I love to see in people I interact with and vice-versa.
True.

I trust my gut, and I also apply little tests. If I send an invoice and they don't pay then work doesn't start.
 

Kevin88660

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When you come across a situation where the person does legit business but has qualities that make you cringe so hard core, but could make a win-win business deal do you bite the ego and proceed?

Anybody have any experience with teaming up with those who boil your blood but it worked out well.

While this deal did not go well I'm reminded of this scene where opposite people come together to strike a deal.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SJLNWKAuUo&t=105s
Depends on the type of deal you are making.

If purely transactional I don't see a need to affect your business decision.

If long term cooperation is needed like getting someone to invest in your business and looking for a business partner then you better think twice.

I follow a principle of compartmentalization that business decisions are affected by business factors only. The personality issue are only an issues if it is likely to translate into a business issue. One common example is cheapskate loves to haggle and ask for a lot of after-sales service, and you have to factor that if your business is service in nature.

The nicest person by the community standard is not always the best client either. I personally find that in sales the best clients are the serious no-nonsense type of personality who is very straight forward, not the typical most friendly guy in your neighborhood. They tell you exactly what they want and if you provide what they want, and then they press the buy button immediately. It saves a lot of guess work and nonsense that is typically involved in sales (to C sales especially).
 

WJK

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When you come across a situation where the person does legit business but has qualities that make you cringe so hard core, but could make a win-win business deal do you bite the ego and proceed?

Anybody have any experience with teaming up with those who boil your blood but it worked out well.

While this deal did not go well I'm reminded of this scene where opposite people come together to strike a deal.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SJLNWKAuUo&t=105s
It's not my "ego" that is at risk. It's my good common sense. I don't intentionally do business with people who make me cringe to the core. I believe in "skimming the cream". That means picking out the best clients and giving them my best service. It's like fishing. I can throw back the fish that I don't want to take home. There's always more fish (clients) in that sea. There is NO amount of money in world worth dealing with a creepy client. If I find that one has slipped through, I fire them. If it’s tenant, I encourage them to move on.
 
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Guest-5ty5s4

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There are like... one or two vendors that would fit this bill for me. I will never, ever order from them again because of past problems. And would pay more to avoid working with them.

As far as customers go, it’s a little different. As long as they aren’t going to screw you or put you in court, customers can be valuable enough to work with them even when they aren’t nice.

You don’t want to do business with a crappy customer, but in the hypothetical $1 billion deal scenario, you might need to just from an emotionless standpoint.

Vendors who screw you over as the buyer though? No way.

I’ve always seen it as the seller serves the buyer. When I’m selling, I am trying to make my customer happy. When buying from someone, I’d expect them to do right by that too.
 

WJK

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There are like... one or two vendors that would fit this bill for me. I will never, ever order from them again because of past problems. And would pay more to avoid working with them.

As far as customers go, it’s a little different. As long as they aren’t going to screw you or put you in court, customers can be valuable enough to work with them even when they aren’t nice.

You don’t want to do business with a crappy customer, but in the hypothetical $1 billion deal scenario, you might need to just from an emotionless standpoint.

Vendors who screw you over as the buyer though? No way.

I’ve always seen it as the seller serves the buyer. When I’m selling, I am trying to make my customer happy. When buying from someone, I’d expect them to do right by that too.
There's a big difference between people being nice and being a bad client. I have some very interesting tenants -- I ignore a lot of their strange behaviors as long as they pay their rents and take care of my property. If they cross that line, they must move.
 
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Guest-5ty5s4

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There's a big difference between people being nice and being a bad client. I have some very interesting tenants -- I ignore a lot of their strange behaviors as long as they pay their rents and take care of my property. If they cross that line, they must move.
Definitely depends on industry too. With tenants, I would totally expect that. If your customer is a very large company, it’s different (there’s more leeway for the big client in a less personal industry)
 
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