Does anybody else get depressed after seeing entrepreneurial successes?

[MVProduct]

I've been an entrepreneur for 3 years now. I'm 20 years old now. During this period of time, I realize I haven't accomplished much- if anything at all. I've been toying with different ideas and opportunities here and there, but none of have taken off. This makes me depressed.

I was at a venture funding competition today, where 10 different startup teams pitched and FOUR of them walked away with a $25k prize. The founders were all around the same age as I was (mid-university to alumni) and yet have managed to accomplish so much more. I feel like they were at a level beyond me. Thus, as I was watching, I began to doubt myself and started having self-defeating thoughts like "I'm not smart enough, why aren't I up there pitching a startup", etc etc.

It made me extremely depressed. And, as I write this, I'm still depressed.

I guess the benefit of this is that it pushes me to evaluate my position, to work harder than ever before, and to bring myself to a whole new level.

I'd like to know if anybody can identify with this. And, how can I get over this?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[T14]

You're right.

You're not there.

But don't let that deter you.

I'm 28 this year, and 5 years ago I thought that I was "there". I had visions of talking with investors, pitching my deals, creating a business, and surrounding myself with real go-getters. Looking back, I can laugh and admit that it was all a bunch of "mental masturbation". Today, after a quick 5 years, I've done all of those things and continue to grow both professionally and personally.

There's a thread on the forum about "deserving" and how feelings of entitlement cloud your judgement. I'm not saying this is you, but it's certainly something to keep an eye on.

At this point you don't know what you don't know. As a result, you don't know the right questions to ask to get yourself to that next level, so you flounder around and then inevitably give up. This is nothing new. Feelings of depression when comparing yourselves to other more successful individuals, ones who are our age or even younger, is nothing new either. But guess what? They all started out where you are too. Lonely, scared, and unsure, clinging tightly to any feelings of hope.

Everyone's traveling a different path. Some folks have entrepreneurial parents that they learn from at an early age. Others play sports and screw around until figure things out. This doesn't mean that you'll never be a successful business owner. All it means is you need to figure out what you'd like to do, surround yourself with people who are doing it, ask the right questions, and then act on what you've learned.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone can do this, not everyone will though. Depression and Anxiety are inevitable, but I choose to see them as self-induced feelings that I have the ability to control as long as I remain aware. Maybe you'll agree one of these days.

Keep moving forward.

 

[MVProduct]

At this point you don't know what you don't know. As a result, you don't know the right questions to ask to get yourself to that next level, so you flounder around and then inevitably give up.

How do I go about figuring out what I don't know? In my case, it's like- "Okay, all I want to do is create some sort of technology-based startup; a platform, web application, mobile app, etc. So, I'm going to learn the skills I need to learn (e.g. lean startup methodologies, growth hacking, marketing, business dev, UX, design, etc.) in order to increase my chances of success. I'm going to identify a problem, come up with a great solution with a scalable and repeatable business model, execute it better than anybody else has done before, and become a success. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to get there." This is kind of the mindset I've been operating this year. Am I in the wrong here? I'm unsure of myself.

I'm also a sophomore university student, so my studies/academics are taking quite a hit due to my efforts being prioritized towards entrepreneurship. So, I'm kind of in a mess here.

Thanks so much for your words though, man. Really appreciated!

 

[TopChef]

Quit comparing yourself to others. While it may make you feel like shit to see other 20yo take home 25k there are probably guys who are thirty who would look at you with envy because you are starting out so much sooner than they did. 25k is nothing by the way.

I think a lot of your struggles are because you are spreading yourself out too thin and trying to do too many things at once. When you are trying to do everything at once, you are really doing nothing at all. So you feel like shit, not because you are not making money, but because you are making no progress. And you won't make progress if you are stuck trying to decide on school, work, random business ideas, etc.

Yeah. I've been there myself and it does suck. Go down that path long enough you will be trapped in a negative feedback loop where you feel like shit which affects work, which affects school, which will affect your business, etc. But the opposite of this also exists. When you start to get good at something, even before you start to make good money, you gain confidence which will make you feel better, which will make you more motivated, etc.

Figure out what you want to do in life, then spend sometime in the trenches becoming that. Ignore everything else.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[kyled427]

Progress cures all. I wake up every day legitimately upset that I am not a millionaire yet. I go to sleep every night knowing I put forth a strong effort and made progress toward that goal.

 

[PopEmersen]

Im the exact opposite, when I see success it perks me up. I feel good seeing others get out the rat race and succeed.

 

[amk]

I feel like they were at a level beyond me.

No matter how successful you are, there will probably always be many people a level beyond you. Realize you are beyond many others at your stage (especially at 20 years old!). Keep moving in the direction of your own goals and pay attention to your own progress.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[amk]

Im the exact opposite, when I see success it perks me up. I feel good seeing others get out the rat race and succeed.

I had to say -- I'm the exact same as this. I get that, "It really is possible!!" feeling.

 

[UniversalMind]

You're right.

You're not there.

But don't let that deter you.

I'm 28 this year, and 5 years ago I thought that I was "there". I had visions of talking with investors, pitching my deals, creating a business, and surrounding myself with real go-getters. Looking back, I can laugh and admit that it was all a bunch of "mental masturbation". Today, after a quick 5 years, I've done all of those things and continue to grow both professionally and personally.

There's a thread on the forum about "deserving" and how feelings of entitlement cloud your judgement. I'm not saying this is you, but it's certainly something to keep an eye on.

At this point you don't know what you don't know. As a result, you don't know the right questions to ask to get yourself to that next level, so you flounder around and then inevitably give up. This is nothing new. Feelings of depression when comparing yourselves to other more successful individuals, ones who are our age or even younger, is nothing new either. But guess what? They all started out where you are too. Lonely, scared, and unsure, clinging tightly to any feelings of hope.

Everyone's traveling a different path. Some folks have entrepreneurial parents that they learn from at an early age. Others play sports and screw around until figure things out. This doesn't mean that you'll never be a successful business owner. All it means is you need to figure out what you'd like to do, surround yourself with people who are doing it, ask the right questions, and then act on what you've learned.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone can do this, not everyone will though. Depression and Anxiety are inevitable, but I choose to see them as self-induced feelings that I have the ability to control as long as I remain aware. Maybe you'll agree one of these days.

Keep moving forward.

Excellent and valuable advice!

 

[CommonCents]

Whether you think you can, or think you can't. You are right.

Look at it this way, if those people your age can accomplish X, then so can you. That will be more inspiring. They are regular humans and sit on a toilet just like you. There is enough negative stuff out there to talk yourself out of anything, if that's what you choose to focus on.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MVProduct]

Im the exact opposite, when I see success it perks me up. I feel good seeing others get out the rat race and succeed.

Yes, that was me when I was first getting into entrepreneurship at 17. I'd be inspired by successes. However, as time went on, and I kept seeing young successes sprout up over and over again, that 'inspired' effect starts to die down a bit. So, I think it's a bit different now.

 

[smarty]

@MVProduct Success stories always inspire and lift me up. It reinforces my belief to never give up and to always continue to develop my skills and daily habits. If possible I try to befriend those people and learn from their experience. It's similar to when you go to gym for the first time: you will see other people with amazing body and muscle there but it must not defeat you, you learn from them and you know that with enough time and effort, improving your skills and attitude and following the process, you success is inevitable.
Catch yourself when you feel stagnant or inferior and lift yourself up: it is a mental game. Thought >> Action >> Result.

Start your days organized and uplifted like this:

And finally a golden rule: we people tend to act consistently based on confidence or inferiority. If your old habit is to act and see things from an inferiority perspective, you will have to change that. Every time you catch yourself doing that, start acting from confidence!

Have you forgotten these?

Who you think you are is not who you are!
Every time you do something you thought you couldn't do, you will realize this.

 

[socaldude]

I totally understand this because I have been there.

You are at war with others and yourself. You are not at peace. You see things as a constant struggle. You think that others success exposes your weakness or inadequacy.

The key is to not compare yourself to others but to be the best you can be period.

The key is to not seek others approval or disapproval. The key is to not see others as a benchmark. The key is independence.

You need to move towards compassion; you feel pleasure at others pleasure and pain at others pain.

It's proven, people with compassion are a lot less likely to become depressed. Depressed people hate others and hate themselves.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MVProduct]

I totally understand this because I have been there.

You are at war with others and yourself. You are not at peace. You see things as a constant struggle. You think that others success exposes your weakness or inadequacy.

The key is to not compare yourself to others but to be the best you can be period.

The key is to not seek others approval or disapproval. The key is to not see others as a benchmark. The key is independence.

You need to move towards compassion; you feel pleasure at others pleasure and pain at others pain.

It's proven, people with compassion are a lot less likely to become depressed. Depressed people hate others and hate themselves.

Sure, easier said than done. How exactly do I move towards compassion? I think I'm competitive by nature. I don't like losing. IMO, I think this plays a role in the issue I'm facing.

Of course, I'm aware there's always someone out there who'll be better, but I desire to generally be the best at everything I do.

 

[Formless]

You are at war with others and yourself.

This hit home. And I don't even have the problem that OP does.

 

[GSF]

Stop dwelling on the PAST, stop dwelling and obsessing on others who are succeeding, stop thinking dreaming dwelling about the FUTURE, start living in the NOW to the best of your ability.
Ask yourself this; what problems do you actually have right now at this very moment? if one exists then treat it as a situation and do 1 of 2 things; either 1. fix it or 2. accept it as it is and forget it, then move on. or you can dwell on it, make it into a problem which you have no intention of dealing with, just dwelling on, let these multiply and compound and you get depression and you become a victim.
Your future will only improve when you forget your past and live now to your best ability, and as an entrepreneur thats going to be focussing on solving your potential customers pains! BTW If you suffer from depression regularly I recommend you read the 'power of now', really helped me.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Tiago]

As TopChef said: "Quit comparing yourself to others".
I know I've done this, and it quickly led me to a state of "not being worthy enough".
If they've done it, why can't you? Motivate yourself off this and improve yourself - every day!

 

[DennisD]

I haven't accomplished that much either..
But there's no doubt in my mind I will.

Seeing other people succeed makes me happy.
It verifies that I'm not crazy and the world IS actually as I see it:
A place where you can make things happen.

 

[RogueInnovation]

People have different gestation periods.

I used to get nervous about the idea that "I might not", but you will grow out of it.
Mastery isn't magical, it just takes time to completely flesh out the details so you see it in terms of nuts and bolts and what can be done.

You just plow ahead and one day when you look back, it'll be done. Thats how it goes.
You don't magically zap there, and you aren't a failure or weirdo for not being there yet.

It gets simpler.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Jimmyy]

I've been an entrepreneur for 3 years now. I'm 20 years old now. During this period of time, I realize I haven't accomplished much- if anything at all. I've been toying with different ideas and opportunities here and there, but none of have taken off. This makes me depressed.

I was at a venture funding competition today, where 10 different startup teams pitched and FOUR of them walked away with a $25k prize. The founders were all around the same age as I was (mid-university to alumni) and yet have managed to accomplish so much more. I feel like they were at a level beyond me. Thus, as I was watching, I began to doubt myself and started having self-defeating thoughts like "I'm not smart enough, why aren't I up there pitching a startup", etc etc.

It made me extremely depressed. And, as I write this, I'm still depressed.

I guess the benefit of this is that it pushes me to evaluate my position, to work harder than ever before, and to bring myself to a whole new level.

I'd like to know if anybody can identify with this. And, how can I get over this?

I'm jealous that you've found this bloody forum three whole years before I did! (In terms of age anyway). I can relate to the little pangs of jealously at times and I understand how the inspirational factor can be diluted after so much exposure to success stories without finding your own.

The thing you have to realise is that the only person you are competing against in life is yourself. Am I today greater than I was yesterday? What will tomorrow's me think of me today, what would he say to me? It's like going to the gym and comparing yourself to everyone else in there. There's always someone bigger than you and there's actually always going to be someone smaller than you. If you focus on yourself, being better than yesterday, being more tomorrow, consistently putting in the hard yards time and again....you finally look up after 6 months...and there's not many guys bigger than you anymore.

Move gyms and you can be the smallest there again. The only constant is yourself and therefore that is the person by which you can judge. Everyone else is just motivation. You can choose to be intimidated by them and shrink in their presence or you can use their success as an accelerator of growth for yourself. The newbs in the gym who get big quick are those training with the big guys, not those their own size who they feel comfortable around.

I'm afraid that I'm going to fail. But there is no F*cking way that fear is ever going to conquer my hopes and dreams. If I fail every single time to the day I die I'll not regret anything because I knew what I wanted and took action on it. The only thing that will make me hate myself is if I ever gave up or never put myself on the line.

But I know I won't fail because I've done my research, taken good advice and am going to now put myself in a position to succeed as many times as possible. I might fail a lot but it's a statistical certainty that if I have the right process I am eventually going to succeed.

Your view of the world isn't the reality. If you take the advice from this forum, do your research and take action then I'll tell you straight up you are going to be successful. Don't believe just me, go look at the threads in here where people have done that and see where they've ended up.

So that said you have got to ask yourself what you are actually doing. What is your current process? Is that really a successful process? Literally write everything down from what time you get up in the morning, what you watch on t.v, how often you actually put yourself on the line to make money. Is your process one that guys like MJ would look at and approve? If not theN CHANGE IT LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. Start by setting some basic goals, realistic but challenging. MJ made an awesome thread called something like 7 Steps that will radically change your life- guaranteed. Well worth looking up. By doing that you will start smashing your way through personal goals. By doing that you will grow and be more confident. In 9 months time you will probably be a different person, probably well on the way to success.

But hey, I'm not successful in business yet so you can probably take most of this with a pinch of salt. It's just stuff I've learned the hard way through other areas of my life. In the end I'm really writing this to myself more than anything, but I think there's probably something in there that might speak to you



P.S Remember to differentiate between there being something wrong with what you are doing, and thinking that something is wrong with you. Realising you have been doing something wrong and feeling guilty is fine, you can learn from it. Thinking something is wrong with you is shame. And shame is TOXIC as f*%$. Don't let that in to your life. Question you processes and not yourself.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Previously, I do but now I get more excited, I get more pumped up to know that if they can do it...so can I.

 

[PeeVee]

Grab your balls, stick your chest out, don't give another thought to yesterday, earlier today or last month. F*ck THE PAST!

Focus on the next 24 hours and what you are going to do to get you one day closer to your goal. If the things you find yourself doing each day are not getting you closer to your fastlane then you need to immediately stop doing those things and re-focus.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[alexanderkjones]

Man, if you were just in a room of 10 other teams and 4 of them walked away with $25K go after them and join up! Don't reinvent the wheel see what's working for people and tirelessly dig to find the pattern of their success. Upgrade your friends and you'll upgrade your life.

All sound advice, also know that all these startup competitions are marketing campaigns for the sponsors, it's not about you or how good your idea is. The winners may not be who you want to really spend your time with, they may have just had the best idea in the room (may not be saying much)

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, if at least 3 of them aren't beyond where you are currently you'll have a lot of difficulty growing. Don't be an entrepreneur all by yourself, it's no fun that way.

 

[splok]

I'd like to know if anybody can identify with this. And, how can I get over this?

To be honest, I have mixed feelings when seeing others' success, especially when that person is younger (which is pretty much everyone I see having success now hehe).

On the positive side, it gives me encouragement because it shows me that it's possible, and it gives me an example that I can learn from. So props to that person for taking action and leading the way!

On the negative side, it tells me that I haven't been working hard enough for long enough. I don't feel jealous or inferior (those are feelings that just aren't useful), but I do get a bit surly at myself for not having put in the effort that I know I should have.

 

[smartman]

I will get a sense of defeat occasionally when I read about people my age or close to it having net worths of 100 mil, etc. This feeling typically turns into complete and seething anger when I cannot get the answers of how they did it, what did they use to do it, and the always important "what can I learn from this?" Occasionally, i get the answers to these questions, and I just feel inspired and honestly, a little manic, to go out and do it myself.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[omar]

@MVProduct your on the right track! Just keep going.

Steve Jobs said "half the battle is to keep going."

Trust me keep trying and every other day you'll see new pieces to the puzzle that you were missing yesterday about yourself about life, about value.

You might not take this seriously but you really are young and have some time to mess up.

I used to feel your feelings (and anyone wouldnt be in touch with reality if they said they didn't)

Listen to anything and everything by Jim Rohn, who was the man who made Tony Robbins! There are his full seminars free on youtube. That helped me through so much and helped me see things in new perspectives.

As Jim Rohn would say our problem is with our philosophies.

 

[smarty]

Start NOW, do a shit job!

 

[Wuz]

Everytime i see someone getting what i want, is just one more opportunity to see the principles behind what he did to get it, learn from them, and reinforce my belief that its possible for me too get it.

When your brain sees someone getting what you want, there is a image building in your brain that reinforces the possibility of you get it.

Its hard for your brain imagine something that he didnt see with his own eyes. This is why he tend to focus in problems and not in solutions. Problems are easy to see, Solutions are hard to see/find.

If your brain sees that in fact what you want, can be acomplished, you will have a new prespective about whatyou want.


It all comes to where you decide to focus your energy, in the hate or in the feelings of hope.

And your relationships do have a important role in your prepsective, if your firends/family are haters or people that like to criticize and bring hate , then its normal for you feel depressed, since your environment is toxic.

"Monkey see, Monkey Do"

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[SteveO]

I don't like losing

I enjoy competition as well. It has been a way of life for me. Perhaps you should take a close look at your definition of winning and losing.

Would you be happy playing against 8 year olds because it allows you to win? Would it not be better to play against people that are better than you because it may increase your skills... Even if it means "losing"?

You won't get much out of winning all the time any way that you look at it. Everyone need to lose. You learn more from losing than winning.

The fun is in the competition. The learning comes from the attitude.

 

[CommonCents]

That 21 Day Mental Diet is a cool concept. There is science behind happiness, just like changing your habits. Someone posted a similar video of a Ted talk in another recent thread about the science of happiness and how it precedes you liking your job and doing a good job.

This has a great potential as an app, pushing out daily reminders and assignments to 'create' happiness, and expanded into apps to change habits.