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Can this thread save your life, and perhaps countless others? Yes.

Kevin88660

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One Big Mistake how to detect hidden life-changing dangers
 
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Rabby

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How to Thrive
Seeking the risks that make you better, and avoiding the ones that bring ruin.

Perhaps just "Thrive" works too. The designers will make it all lower case, put a period after it as if it's it's own sentence, and produce a minimalist cover design. That's one of the trends anyway. :rofl:

Figured I'd post one that's positive in nature, in contrast to the dark humor titles.
 
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Mattie

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Question...

I was thinking about writing a short book which highlights various real stories of people who destroyed their lives with ONE DECISION, or as I call them, DAREs.

I think a book like this is worth my effort because it might actually save lives, and if it is even one life, it would be worth my time and effort. It also shouldn't be terribly hard to produce, and I could offer it as a freebie.

Question is, what should I title it? I don't like to write books without first having them titled.

I originally just thought of calling it "DARE" but it seems a bit bland and doesn't really describe the content.

Then I thought of calling it Asymmetric Stupidity ... but sometimes poor decisions are stupid decisions, just not well thought out.

DARE to DARE?

Any ideas?

Please share and contribute to the brainstorm -- read this thread if you DO NOT know what a DARE is.
Sliced and Diced!
Sounds kind of deathly, but the realism of it is the truth.
Samurai Warrior thinking i suppose. lol
 

MJ DeMarco

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Just to capture the current trend of Sh*t and F*ck titles.

Ill pass, this "trend" is so overused now that I dismiss any book with a title like this as it doesn't show innovation or unique thinking, but a follower and someone trying to be clever when the clever-train has left the station years ago. It's like a joke that has been so overused and redone that its no longer funny.
 

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How to Destroy Your Life in 5 Seconds
And most importantly, how to avoid being a statistic

Gone In 5 Seconds
How a simple lapse in judgment WILL destroy your whole life

Brain Fart Your Way to Total Annihilation!

How to Ruin Your Life In 3 Simple Steps!

Game Over: How A Simple Lapse In Judgment Can Ruin Your Whole Life


I obviously went for a more morbid angle. Hey if the media can do it, why can't I?

Hope this helps.
 
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Strm

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This is really sad to read, but thank you for sharing @MJ DeMarco .

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

This is so so true. When I was 10, my mom was killed by a drunk driver. 20 years passed just this month. These things NEVER heal and I am going to live with this deep scar until my last breath. Not going to describe how it feels because it's nearly impossible. I've done my share of extremely stupid things when I was younger because of that event in my childhood and I could've easily totally ruin my life as well, among others. Thanks to some blind luck I did not. But every action has consequences and shit like that usually have very sad ones.
 
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Simon Angel

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I just revisited this thread and my curiosity got the best of me, so I managed to google my way into finding out who it was. What a waste.

It's hard to believe that someone with such insightful posts and a way of doing things could make such a stupid decision. Super sad for all involved.
 
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Guyfieri5

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I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

I was a social drinker (so I told myself). Recently a friend of mine and I quit drinking entirely to better focus on our goals and we couldn't be happier. Years ago I quit drinking every weekend and saw great results in my health and progress. Now, there is zero chance I will ever make a bad decision because of alcohol.
To MJs point here, this event was due to a poor decision to drive on top of drinking so I won't demonize having a drink or two as long as you're responsible. If you're serious about your goals though, the best way to mitigate your frequency of bad decisions like this (or seriously setting yourself back) is to eliminate drugs and getting drunk on alcohol altogether. I couldn't tell you the number of life-altering things I've almost done under the influence. When I was younger, I could have done something like this and I thank God I never did. Thank you MJ, and stay safe out there everyone!
 

natashaquinn88

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I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

After reading your experience of getting a DUI in TMF it was a gut wrenching reminder of my DUI and my rock bottom. As a long time bar tender and bar manager maxed out with stress, alcohol was my crutch. I drank a lot. I drove drunk a lot and it finally caught up to me one night. After working a double the day before Super Bowl and having to go into open the next day for super bowl (here in hawaii it starts pretty early) I hit the few bars that stayed open later then mine and can’t even remember how many “one more” s I had. I crashed into a parked car a couple blocks down the road. Luckily I was not going very fast but very unluckily there was a man sleeping in the next car after the one I crashed into and that car did bump into his. I am so incredibly lucky that he was ok but the major wake up call that that was that I could have hurt someone or even killed them. I lost my job but that was for the best. The next month the world shut down with Covid so I had that time to retreat and really re evaluate my life. I have been sober ever since. I was so angry and ashamed for about a year and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Alcohol is a killer. it’s so crazy how it’s marketed and packaged up so pretty when what it really is is poison. Addiction needs more attention in society as it’s such a taboo subject but so many are suffering (many don’t even realize it). My heart goes out to all those affected by this drug. I am so extremely lucky that I have come out of all this stronger and wiser but there are many who are not so fortunate. I fear the damage I am capable of when the spirits take over and that’s why I can never go back. I couldn’t even talk about this for so long but I believe the healing comes with sharing our pain. I will not waste the time I have been granted and I am grateful and blessed to be in the position I am today. Thank you for sharing.
 

Boogie

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This is a web page of alcoholism rates by country and by country by sex. It does not go into car accidents, but the stats are interesting. For instance, the USA doesn't make it into the top 10 for male alcoholism, but it ranks #1 for female alcoholism.


Additionally, each country in turn is linked to info of current population including birth, death, and immigration information. It also has population growth forecasts. The country population pages have links to city, state, and territories as well. The population growth statistics are fantastic. Comparing growth in China, Russia, North Korea, Cuba, and Venezuela to the USA is an eye opener.
 
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Jadus

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This is a web page of alcoholism rates by country and by country by sex. It does not go into car accidents, but the stats are interesting. For instance, the USA doesn't make it into the top 10 for male alcoholism, but it ranks #1 for female alcoholism.


Additionally, each country in turn is linked to info of current population including birth, death, and immigration information. It also has population growth forecasts. The country population pages have links to city, state, and territories as well. The population growth statistics are fantastic. Comparing growth in China, Russia, North Korea, Cuba, and Venezuela to the USA is an eye opener.
I was surprised about Thailand. From my experience living here, I thought it would be much higher and it probably is. I assume that these statistics are taken from medical diagnosis. Many Thai alcoholics would not (saving face) or could not afford to seek help.
 

nothingness

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My major take from this old thread;
-if that guy who got fired because of his chickafilla outburst was fastlane, he would likely be insulated from fallout, he certainly wouldn't be worried about being "fired". Just an example of what freedom is. Much like how Notch (Markus Persson) was able to post his "special" twitter rants and not get cancelled. Until governments can log in to your bank accounts and take away your magic numbers, fastlane is the fastest way to freedom of...everything.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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he would likely be insulated from fallout, he certainly wouldn't be worried about being "fired"

Would have depended on his business and who his customers were, but yea, likely he would have been insulated.
 

Simon Angel

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I keep thinking about this.

When I was 19 and freshly depressed after my girlfriend dumped me, I would get high and speed/drift around the city all night because I couldn't sleep. Apart from being a coping mechanism, it also impressed my friends and, more uncommonly, girls.

Now, 5 years later, I drive with a significantly greater aversion to risk and with the sole objective of going from point A to point B. I keep my ego in check and do not engage in dick-measuring contests with random douchebags on the road where the reward is null and the potential consequences severe (or terminal).

Having said that, I'm so grateful I didn't end up running over some drunk or crashing and injuring any of my friends (like so many do every year) during that time. Because, in the end, pretty much the only reason I didn't ruin my or anyone else's life while other young dudes did at the time is because I got lucky long enough to grow up and they didn't.
 

MJ DeMarco

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I keep thinking about this.

When I was 19 and freshly depressed after my girlfriend dumped me, I would get high and speed/drift around the city all night because I couldn't sleep. Apart from being a coping mechanism, it also impressed my friends and, more uncommonly, girls.

Now, 5 years later, I drive with a significantly greater aversion to risk and with the sole objective of going from point A to point B. I keep my ego in check and do not engage in dick-measuring contests with random douchebags on the road where the reward is null and the potential consequences severe (or terminal).

Having said that, I'm so grateful I didn't end up running over some drunk or crashing and injuring any of my friends (like so many do every year) during that time. Because, in the end, pretty much the only reason I didn't ruin my or anyone else's life while other young dudes did at the time is because I got lucky long enough to grow up and they didn't.

Looking back in my younger years (late 20's, early 30's) I really escaped some boneheaded decisions. Damn did I get lucky. I think we all make 'em, these bad decisions, question is, how many do we make? And how long until we wise up?

Hopefully this thread will curtail the learning curve for some young people.
 
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Boogie

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Unfortunately, the person this thread was started about apparently didn't show for the court date and went on the run.

It can be a life sentence for the negligence involved in the accident alone without being on the run. Likely to be problematic when caught and sentenced.

Probably making a bad decision even worse for all involved.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Unfortunately, the person this thread was started about apparently didn't show for the court date and went on the run.

It can be a life sentence for the negligence involved in the accident alone without being on the run. Likely to be problematic when caught and sentenced.

Probably making a bad decision even worse for all involved.

Wow.

Guess that's called doubling down on one's dumb decisions.
 

Jadus

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Until governments can log in to your bank accounts and take away your magic numbers
I'm sorry to tell you this but governments can freeze your bank accounts in a heartbeat. Just ask some Russian oligarchs.
 
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Trevor Kuntz

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Unfortunately, the person this thread was started about apparently didn't show for the court date and went on the run.

It can be a life sentence for the negligence involved in the accident alone without being on the run. Likely to be problematic when caught and sentenced.

Probably making a bad decision even worse for all involved.
What a middle finger to the victim's family. Truly despicable
 

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Even if we humans are the most intelligent animal on the planet (by orders of magnitude), we are still have many moments of pure stupidity, irrationality and straight out malevolence: we do bad things on purpose, even if we know perfectly well that they are bad.

What is the antidote to this? I don't know, I'm neither a philosopher nor a behavioral psychologist.

But what I do know, is that alcohol will make you even more stupid, more irrational, and more willing to take on unnecessary and potentially life changing risk. Each and every time you drink, you gamble with your life.

Life is very difficult and tragic. Let's try to not make it even worse.
 

Jadus

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But what I do know, is that alcohol will make you even more stupid, more irrational, and more willing to take on unnecessary and potentially life changing risk. Each and every time you drink, you gamble with your life.
I was with you up until this. There are plenty of people who can drink and not be a threat to anyone, including themselves. Obviously, there are others who can't just have one or two and then do stupid things or ruin their health. As with anything, alcohol should be used responsibly.
 
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heavy_industry

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I was with you up until this. There are plenty of people who can drink and not be a threat to anyone, including themselves. Obviously, there are others who can't just have one or two and then do stupid things or ruin their health. As with anything, alcohol should be used responsibly.
If you can drink just a bit that's great, more power to you.

But a lot of people that drink abuse alcohol, and when they do it, this happens. And this is just one story of many. The actual death toll is about 3 million people a year.
 

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If you can drink just a bit that's great, more power to you.

But a lot of people that drink abuse alcohol, and when they do it, this happens. And this is just one story of many. The actual death toll is about 3 million people a year.
I understand that quite well. I have a nephew who got to drinking too much and he's still paying the price for making a bad decision. But where did you get the "3 million people a year" figure? Is that supposed to be in the USA only or worldwide?
 

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Jadus

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OK, well... this may or may not be true.The figure is probably more or less accurate but I take anything WHO says with a grain of salt.
 

heavy_industry

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OK, well... this may or may not be true.The figure is probably more or less accurate but I take anything WHO says with a grain of salt.
Yes, I also don't trust this institution at all.
However all the data points in the same direction: alcohol is one of the most dangerous substances used by people today.
 

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