Can this thread save your life, and perhaps countless others? Yes.

[thechosen1]

I got'cha. Thanks for clarifying & sorry for jumping to angry conclusions on you. I'm a bit reactive to this story because I've lost a lot of people prematurely in this life... some of them due to others negligent & careless actions. I'm trying to keep a level head about me, but it's honestly challenging in regard to this story. But that's on me.

It's a pretty horrible thing. Innocent people killed. I'm sorry to hear that.

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MTF]

I was driving back home on a highway today with my girlfriend and we decided to change our plans and go elsewhere. I started messing with Google Maps on my phone (attached to the windshield) to set a new destination and remembered this thread. I refocused back on the road and told my girlfriend to set it up. It would only take me a few seconds but that's all it takes to ruin your life.

Ever since I read this thread, I thought about it in various situations at least a few times (including when I saw others doing silly stuff like a guy speeding through a road with sharp bends frequented by cyclists).

 

[KindRibEye]

I worked third shift many years ago. Found that the best time to sleep was on my way home.

Only time I've ever quit without notice... I fell asleep and ran a redlight after driving a paper route.

I believe in giving notice, but I'm an even bigger fan of not killing people with my car.

 

[OliverT254]

Well put MJ, i have been a victim of similar situation and i learnt from it. 20minutes of poor decision made lose almost everything. I suffered for a long time while cursing my actions. People should really take this seriously. Thanks

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MattR82]

So easily done after even just 2 or 3 social drinks over a 2 hour catchup on a friday or sat afternoon.

I've switched to Heineken zero now, and never think about missing out on any social fun because I'm not drinking. That really was a concern for me.

Doesn't even need to be alcohol related though. My 6 year old sister was killed on a pedestrian crossing when I was younger (this is going back 25 years) by an elderly man that wasn't supposed to be driving at night because of his eyesight. It had only just become dark, about 6pm in the evening.

He avoided jail because of his age (not that anyone really wanted him in jail) but he put a lot of people in his and our family in turmoil for a long time over what probably seemed to him like a small risk at the time.

 

[MattR82]

I was driving back home on a highway today with my girlfriend and we decided to change our plans and go elsewhere. I started messing with Google Maps on my phone (attached to the windshield) to set a new destination and remembered this thread. I refocused back on the road and told my girlfriend to set it up. It would only take me a few seconds but that's all it takes to ruin your life.

I'm guilty of doing this. There's no way I'll be doing it again now though so thanks for the reminder.

 

[S.Y.]

Tragic indeed. Both were in their 20s too. My thoughts go to both families.

I made a habit to remind myself of my mortality, as well as for those I cherish. Memento Mori: remember that you will die.

After reading this thread, I will remind myself that there is more than death. One stupid decision can destroy lives, even if we stay alive.

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[woken]

I am a paranoid person, therefore it’s in my nature to question things.

Even if I drink, I’m aware of the consequences of my actions. Yes, I feel free and talk without inhibitions, but I don’t lose myself.

You can count the times I’ve been drunk in my life with one of your hands.

Even though I feel like I’m in control, I know I’m not. I’m not doing anything that would put myself and others in danger, drunk or not.


I am deeply sorry for what happened. It could have been avoided.

Sadly, it happens very often.

 

[Bekit]

Good thread. I used the DARE concept yesterday in a conversation with my sister. I found out she hasn't been locking the doors to her house.

She was looking at it like, "yeah, but I've never locked my doors for years. I'm fearless. It'll be ok."

She is a single woman.

I brought up the point of the asymmetrical downside. It costs almost nothing to lock the door. But there is an enormous potential downside risk if you don't do it.

Not to say that somebody can't get in through a locked door. But locking the door definitely mitigates risk in the category of crimes of opportunity.

Putting it in terms of DARE might have helped it to sink in.

 

[GPM]

I won't drive after having a single drink (I will wait probably 2 hours until I do), and I don't text and drive. But hell if it isn't tempting to text and drive from time to time!

Thank you for this thread! I am going to be extra vigilant from now on about this. It really only takes 1 second!

On a side note, when I worked in a corporate environment I rode my bike to work every day. You see A LOT while on a bike that you miss while in a car. One of the things that I noticed was the absolutely huge number of texter and drivers. This was like 8 years ago as well, I am sure it has only gotten worse with the fact that everyone now has a smart phone, whereas back then they were not as common and I don't think people even used their phones for music and facebook and stuff yet. Yikes!!!

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[KindRibEye]

Not to say that somebody can't get in through a locked door. But locking the door definitely mitigates risk in the category of crimes of opportunity.

Even if the bad guys are going to be able to defeat the locked door, the lock buys your sister time to call for help, barricade her room, arm herself, or run away.

Time buys us options we won't have if we're completely surprised.

 

[Itizn]

Henry Ruggs

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1455677724283088906

View: https://twitter.com/mysportsupdate/status/1455677724283088906?s=24

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I brought up the point of the asymmetrical downside. It costs almost nothing to lock the door. But there is an enormous potential downside risk if you don't do it.

Not to say that somebody can't get in through a locked door. But locking the door definitely mitigates risk in the category of crimes of opportunity.

Forecast consequences with details and you bring hindsight into the present. It is pretty effective at convincing peoiple.

Henry Ruggs

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1455677724283088906

View: https://twitter.com/mysportsupdate/status/1455677724283088906?s=24

Sickening details. Ruggs "was" an NFL player with a promising career ahead of him.

Reading this reminds me how many times I engaged in DARES in my own sports cars. I got lucky.

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Boogie]

She was looking at it like, "yeah, but I've never locked my doors for years. I'm fearless. It'll be ok."

She is a single woman.

Good luck to your sister. As they say in the stock market, past performance is no guarantee of future results.

My friend's mother-in-law was killed in a home invasion. The woman's lawn mowing guy and his girlfriend did it. He went in and tied this little 70 something year old women up in a chair and sliced her up until she died.

A co-worker at a job I had years ago lost his brother to a home invasion. The door was locked, but he knew the guys so he let them in. They beat him to death in front of his 8 year old kid so they could steal his audio equipment.

Our subdivision has people breaking into cars and stealing them. Nice area. Nice cars. A couple weeks ago, three were stolen in the next subdivision over. Two were stolen on my street. One was 3 houses up from mine at about 5AM. If they can get garage remotes, they go into the house. Never leave a remote in the car if you ever leave the car outside your garage. The police have signs up through the neighborhoods and on facebook to have as our 9PM activity to make sure everything is locked and cars empty and everything is secure.

Cops also warn not to engage with people on the driveway even if you have a gun. These criminals are fully armed. They've had video, but not good enough video to get them. Also, we've also had idiots who've left their guns in their cars. That's a special kind of stupid.

What some of these criminals have been doing too is going to nearby grocery store and looking for the nice cars, then they get the license information and track down the addresses to visit later.

There are plenty of videos on youtube that show what home invasions can be like:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=home+invasion

 

[doster.zach]

Sickening details. Ruggs "was" an NFL player with a promising career ahead of him.

Some who's made about 4 million dollars a year didn't want to get a cab or an uber. Now facing 2-20 years in jail.

 

[Itizn]

Some who's made about 4 million dollars a year didn't want to get a cab or an uber. Now facing 2-20 years in jail.

As details leak, it's more and more likely he'll get quite a hefty sentence.

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Raven S]

I still remember the last day, I ever hurried to get anywhere. I was late for work, and the buss I was supposed to take, was coming in towards the bus stop, at the other side of one of a really traficated cross(??), and my immediate response was to start to run out into the road in order to cross it in time, and THEN remembering it is a traficated road!.. that is NOT the right order - and it changed my life. I NEVER hurry. Its now a rule, that I never ever break. My life, was in some real jeopardy for a second, for not having such a rule in place. - and the lesson stuck.

Sometimes, when I see grown ups, in a hurry, dragging/running with their children down stairways of stone, to catch Sub Ways, I always kind of silently pray, that they too, will wake up before they find out how hard those stairs actually are, for a little child to ram its head into.

 

[OleksiyRybakov]

DARE events can change every person's life. Some people dare to quit their own job because it is boring and they did not advance. Then, no single company wants to hire them, some companies let them wait and others reject them straight ahead. Every single idea that they have for entrepreneurship also fails.

What happens next is that those people know that they are not able to pay for their liabilities unless their amount of money grows a lot. Low-risk assets do not seem to grow enough so those people spend their life savings on assets like Shiba Inu. But then they enter too lately so they only manage to grow by a rather mediocre amount which is not enough to achieve financial freedom. At some point the price of that high-volatility asset drops significantly and those people freak out completely.

With all those issues even a simple mistake or bad event can lead those people towards a mental illness. Then those people have to quit what they do, they can't get any other jobs, most likely they won't get any money from the government and can't afford a health insurance anymore. Entrepreneurship without solid mental health is a DARE event. I hope that with this post I can save other people's lives and the lives of their families as well.

 

[Bekit]

Here's another example of how the DARE concept might have recently just saved me.

A few months back, I noticed that my laptop battery had swelled up quite a bit. It was actually cracking through the plastic housing.



I thought it looked a bit scary and figured it probably wasn't good that it was like that. But I was planning to just hopefully limp along with the hope it would keep working until Black Friday when I would get a new computer.

Then, about a month ago, I mentioned it to a friend, and she informed me that it was more dangerous than I realized, as lithium ion batteries, when exposed to air, will catch on fire, and it's a fire that's very hard to put out.

My desk is a plastic folding table, so if my computer battery ever actually did catch on fire, it would probably melt the plastic table, which would then fall down onto the carpet below and spread to the bedding of the nearby daybed I have in the office.

If this happened at night while we were asleep, the whole office could be up in flames before we realized a thing.

So there was potential for a massive downside.

My friend told me to take the battery out immediately and just use my computer's power cord.

But one thing led to another and I forgot to do it right then, and 3-4 weeks later, I was still in the same boat with my very dangerous computer battery still in place. It was practically a ticking time bomb. And the only thing standing in the way of something happening was "hopeful thoughts." Lol.

So yesterday I made the connection that this was another "Asymmetric Downside" situation.

It costs me about 5 minutes of time and effort to remove the battery.

The potential downside if I failed to take action was disproportionately large.

So yesterday I took out the battery.

I can use my computer just as well as before. I was already using it with the power cord anyway. And I ordered a replacement battery for $60, so as soon as my shipment comes in, my laptop will also be portable again.

@MJ DeMarco this DARE concept is really good at helping to prompt better decision making. Thank you.

Side note:

DARE also applies to your health. If anyone has a "little" or "minor" health issue that you have wondered about but have never gotten checked out, think through whether there is an asymmetric downside. It will cost you barely any time and effort to get it looked at, but it may save you an enormous amount of pain if it turns out to be something bad and you were able to catch it early.

I knew a guy who developed a "little cough." Turned out he had a blood clot that would have been a fatal pulmonary embolism if it had ever broken loose. Doctors fortunately found it in time.

Don't take your health lightly. The "cost" of healthy food and exercise is way smaller than the cost you'll pay if you neglect your health.

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Antifragile]

I still remember the last day, I ever hurried to get anywhere. I was late for work, and the buss I was supposed to take, was coming in towards the bus stop, at the other side of one of a really traficated cross(??), and my immediate response was to start to run out into the road in order to cross it in time, and THEN remembering it is a traficated road!.. that is NOT the right order - and it changed my life. I NEVER hurry. Its now a rule, that I never ever break. My life, was in some real jeopardy for a second, for not having such a rule in place. - and the lesson stuck.

Sometimes, when I see grown ups, in a hurry, dragging/running with their children down stairways of stone, to catch Sub Ways, I always kind of silently pray, that they too, will wake up before they find out how hard those stairs actually are, for a little child to ram its head into.

This is excellent. I used to be in a hurry all the time. And slowly changed my mind. It’s crazy for us to take risks (I drive a lot, so for me it’s speeding when I’m late for a meeting). When we are stressed because we are in a hurry, we make poor decisions.
Something clicked for me a little while back. I realized that if I’m late, I didn’t plan well. But if I did plan well, and still am late than it’s fine. People will wait. I’m either important enough for them or if I’m not, then why am I meeting them? As a business owner, it’s even more so. A calm and collected person is far more impressive than a stressed out late lunatic- fidgeting through a meeting.
Thanks for the reminder!

 

[doster.zach]

if I’m late, I didn’t plan well.

This is a big thing. As I started to try and be as efficient as possible with my time, I would start to squeeze things into slots they shouldn't be.

5 min early costs you nothing and shows people you care. 5 mins late saves you nothing and can cost you a lot more.

 

[Matt Sun]

I just had the thought of what if something like this had happened to MJ while he wasn't as aware of D.A.R.E. (I understand he even hadn't wrote TMF yet) and he didn't got the chance to write it. Not only his life would change but also mine and the life's of many people here very much likely. Crazy stuff. I myself too am more careful now. This thread has come to mind when I was about to text and drive... so it is working !

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[NajTheDon]

My apologies if this was already mentioned, I haven't read everything but just a few days ago a Raiders player was driving drunk going 156mph, and killed a young woman. Such a sad story, a life lost and his life will also never be the same. Please take drinking and driving very seriously. Too many lives are being lost.

 

[Trevor Kuntz]

Here's another example of how the DARE concept might have recently just saved me.

A few months back, I noticed that my laptop battery had swelled up quite a bit. It was actually cracking through the plastic housing.

View attachment 40619

I thought it looked a bit scary and figured it probably wasn't good that it was like that. But I was planning to just hopefully limp along with the hope it would keep working until Black Friday when I would get a new computer.

Then, about a month ago, I mentioned it to a friend, and she informed me that it was more dangerous than I realized, as lithium ion batteries, when exposed to air, will catch on fire, and it's a fire that's very hard to put out.

My desk is a plastic folding table, so if my computer battery ever actually did catch on fire, it would probably melt the plastic table, which would then fall down onto the carpet below and spread to the bedding of the nearby daybed I have in the office.

If this happened at night while we were asleep, the whole office could be up in flames before we realized a thing.

So there was potential for a massive downside.

My friend told me to take the battery out immediately and just use my computer's power cord.

But one thing led to another and I forgot to do it right then, and 3-4 weeks later, I was still in the same boat with my very dangerous computer battery still in place. It was practically a ticking time bomb. And the only thing standing in the way of something happening was "hopeful thoughts." Lol.

So yesterday I made the connection that this was another "Asymmetric Downside" situation.

It costs me about 5 minutes of time and effort to remove the battery.

The potential downside if I failed to take action was disproportionately large.

So yesterday I took out the battery.

I can use my computer just as well as before. I was already using it with the power cord anyway. And I ordered a replacement battery for $60, so as soon as my shipment comes in, my laptop will also be portable again.

@MJ DeMarco this DARE concept is really good at helping to prompt better decision making. Thank you.

Side note:

DARE also applies to your health. If anyone has a "little" or "minor" health issue that you have wondered about but have never gotten checked out, think through whether there is an asymmetric downside. It will cost you barely any time and effort to get it looked at, but it may save you an enormous amount of pain if it turns out to be something bad and you were able to catch it early.

I knew a guy who developed a "little cough." Turned out he had a blood clot that would have been a fatal pulmonary embolism if it had ever broken loose. Doctors fortunately found it in time.

Don't take your health lightly. The "cost" of healthy food and exercise is way smaller than the cost you'll pay if you neglect your health.

Smart move. Two months ago, my photographer friend was sitting in his rental car at the top of a hill in Hawaii when the spare camera battery in his cargo shorts pocket caught on fire and started spraying lithium around the entire interior of the car.

Second and third degree burns on his thigh, multiple skin grafts, large holes burned in the seats of the rental car (surprisingly, the rental company guy didn't give a shit), and the most painful experience he has had so far in his life. All from a practically brand new, relatively small camera battery. I'd hate to imagine what could have happened with a larger laptop battery.

 

[Mattie]

Ever since I heard about this, the thought "Smart Choices", came up. This is a tragedy. Clearly, they knew there was a problem, but didn't stop the event. You can even see people trying to get them to stop the show in some of the video's.

If I were the singer, I would have just stopped immediately, and said something to get the crowd to do something more effective and give some space. This is just common sense!

The way they handled it was bad.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q72hEGyQ6Dw

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Raven S]

Peoples ability to think "straight" in new and potentially dangerous situations, seems to me, to be very limited. In my experience, we freeze up, and start "hoping". And what we are hoping for is that no action IS needed. The stoics were on to this, aspect of the human psyche - and they knew the unimagined problem, were the real problem - because the real solution seems to be for us to imagine it all, in advance, and then figure out the best solution, and course of actions should the situation come to pass. We are not spending time "fearing" - we simply spend some time in the situation, and figure out what to do, so that we can rest assured, we are as prepared as possible.

 

[ShamanKing]

As time passes, everyone will eventually forgive or forget the person responsible for what has happend.
The real question is how long will it take for someone to forgive themself.
I pray that this person will be able to forgive her/him-self.

 

[AbhiRaj]

I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

Memorial expenses and body transportation, organized by Britney Rodriguez

My name is Britney Rodriguez and I’m making this go fund me on behalf of m… Britney Rodriguez needs your support for Memorial expenses and body transportation

www.gofundme.com

I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

Memorial expenses and body transportation, organized by Britney Rodriguez

My name is Britney Rodriguez and I’m making this go fund me on behalf of m… Britney Rodriguez needs your support for Memorial expenses and body transportation

www.gofundme.com

Thank You for sharing ! you save me from one coming DARE

 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Red]

As time passes, everyone will eventually forgive or forget the person responsible for what has happened

I have a feeling that the dead man's mother may feel differently than you do about this situation.

 

[Juke]

Thanks for posting MJ.

I lost my little brother because of a drunk driver and needless to say, it has had a devastating impact on my families life. Not a day goes by that I don't think what he could be today (he was training to become a vet and one of the brightest and bravest people I ever knew).

Despite what happened, one of my closest friends still drinks and drives to this day. One night I got extremely angry with him and reminded him of what happened. He cried and put away the car keys that night but I know he still does it behind my back.

Everyone says drink driving is stupid in public but unfortunately people still do it (especially when they are drunk and angry/emotional - then all logic/morals seem to go out the window).

We will never know, but if this thread does save one life and stops someone going through what my family did then it is priceless.

Thanks.