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IMPORTANT! Are you "that guy"? Great! The door is over there...

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MJ DeMarco

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Who is "that guy"?

"That guy" is so insecure and pissed-off about his life that he's already given up. And he looks at others who haven't given up, with contempt, disgust, and yes, a little bit of jealousy-- not because those people are different, but because those people are a blunt force reflection of his own insecurities and inadequacies.

But a lot more is going on here....

Instead of working to change his outlook (internal work) "that guy" works on changing everyone else's outlook (external work) to be in alignment with his own.

In internet parlance, we call these folks "haters".

But in psychological parlance, we call this the EGO -- no, not the "I drive a Lambo" ego, but the the part of the mind that constructs the concept of IDENTITY and SELF -- the EGO is only interested in defending the false internal reality it's created.

So in effect, "that guy" doesn't work on changing HIS situation, he wants to change everyone else's situation. On the web, this is attempted through the use of a variety of written parlor tricks; pseudo-intellectualism, nihilistic arguments, absolutes from generalizations, all wrapped up in a cute tiny bow of self-loathing narcissism and self-importance.

As a result "that guy" (who hasn't accomplished anything in life) has an unhealthy obsession with his own superiority and righteousness, although his own self-funded superiority and righteousness hasn't produced any meaningful results in the real world. No, he lives with his mum in a dilapidated flat on the seedy side of London. This fact alone is seething to his ego, further entrenching the EGO in a "fight-or-flight" mode to defend the situation. For 6 months we got FIGHT (and it didn't get any traction whatsoever) so now we get FLIGHT.

All of this dissonance and conflict caused by the identity grandeur makes him terribly angry, especially when the real world doesn't reflect back on his perceived superiority. So the EGO works to resolve the conflict.

Hence, you get the "that guy" lashing out unprovoked on forums, Reddit, and in the comments section on YouTube videos and blogs. Doing so props up the delusional EGO that the "victim" has engineered for himself. In other words, it feels good (temporarily) but more importantly, it maintains the status quo and the superior concept of self.

So let me be clear...

#1:
If you walk into a gym filled with people taking action to change their lives-- whether it be health, obesity, or training for a marathon-- and you find it acceptable to stand atop the counter and interrupt everyone by screaming, "You're all losers and you'll NEVER lose weight, NEVER get healthy, and NEVER win any competition!!" -- you've got serious issues.

(A side note: Compared with the general population NOT at the gym, those people at the gym have a significant improved probability of positive change than those not.)

#2:
If you feel compelled to do #1 unsolicited (and you actually do it, demonstrating a total lack of self-awareness) you will be banned -- not because you "feel that way" but because you lack the emotional intelligence to understand that some generalized opinions about an ENTIRE GROUP are better kept to yourself. No one asked for your opinion unless someone asked or spent money for your opinion. But then again, we aren't dealing with an opinion here, but a complex psychological process of ego and identity. And yeah, you aren't as important as you think.

In other words, no one here cares about your opinion other than the fact it was disruptive and disgustingly selfish.

#3:
If disruptive actions like #1 resonates with you and you feel the need to do that in the future, do us all a favor: LEAVE.

In this case, there is no door, just an X on your browser and a DELETE button on the forum's icon.

#4:
If you feel the forum isn't working for you through a variety of reasons (those cited above or perhaps something else we've failed at) you are FREE to LEAVE at anytime.

Login to your account, unselect "forum email" and you'll never hear from us again.
No announcement is needed.
No thread is needed.

You just leave and never come back.
Pretty simple eh?

Think of it this way...

If you're watching a live play at a theater and everyone around you is enjoying it but you aren't, you leave and walk out.

Done.

End of story.

You don't stand up, interrupt the performance and the stage actors and scream like a petulant toddler, "This play sucks and the actors are terrible. I'm leaving!" Doing so makes you a douchebag and a self-important prick.

We're here for all the same reason.

To rewrite the Script with our vision and with our pen.

It's different for everyone and that difference isn't what's important.

If you are here to be "that guy" -- the clever douche with a box of donuts shoved in our face while we grind the treadmill, GTFO.



 

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RobD88

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Who is "that guy"?

"That guy" is so insecure and pissed-off about his life outlook that he's already given up on life. And he looks at others who haven't given up, with contempt, disgust, and yes, a little bit of jealousy-- not because those people are different, but because those people are a blunt force reflection of his own insecurities and inadequacies.

But a lot more is going on here....

Instead of working to change his outlook (internal work) "that guy" works on changing everyone else's outlook (external work) to be in alignment with his own.

In internet parlance, we call these folks "haters".

But in psychological parlance, we call this the EGO -- no, not the "I drive a Lambo" ego, but the the part of the mind that constructs the concept of IDENTITY and SELF -- the EGO is only interested in defending the false internal reality it's created.

So in effect, "that guy" doesn't work on changing HIS situation, he wants to change everyone else's situation. On the web, this is attempted through the use of a variety of written parlor tricks; pseudo-intellectualism, nihilistic arguments, absolutes from generalizations, all wrapped up in a cute tiny bow of self-loathing narcissism and self-importance.

As a result "that guy" (who hasn't accomplished anything in life) has an unhealthy obsession with his own superiority and righteousness, although his own self-funded superiority and righteousness hasn't produced any meaningful results in the real world. No, he lives with his mum in a dilapidated flat on the seedy side of London. This fact alone is seething to his ego, further entrenching the EGO in a "fight-or-flight" mode to defend the situation. For 6 months we got FIGHT (and it didn't get any traction whatsoever) so now we get FLIGHT.

All of this dissonance and conflict caused by the identity grandeur makes him terribly angry, especially when the real world doesn't reflect back on his perceived superiority. So the EGO works to resolve the conflict.

Hence, you get the "that guy" lashing out unprovoked on forums and in the comments section on YouTube videos and blogs. Doing so props up the delusional EGO that the "victim" has engineered for himself. In other words, it feels good (temporarily) but more importantly, it maintains the status quo and the superior concept of self.

So let me be clear...

#1:
If you walk into a gym filled with people taking action to change their lives-- whether it be health, obesity, or training for a marathon-- and you find it acceptable to stand atop the counter and interrupt everyone by screaming, "You're all losers and you'll never lose weight, get healthy, or win the competition!!" -- you've got serious issues.

(A side note: Compared with the general population NOT at the gym, those people at the gym have a significant improved probability of positive change than those not.)

#2:
If you feel compelled to do #1 (and you actually do it, demonstrating a total lack of self-awareness) you will be banned -- not because you "feel that way" but because you lack the emotional intelligence to understand that some generalized opinions about an ENTIRE GROUP are better kept to yourself. But then again, we aren't dealing with an opinion here, but a complex psychological process of ego and identity. And yeah, you aren't as important as you think.

In other words, no one here cares about your opinion other than the fact it was disruptive and disgustingly selfish.

#3:
If disruptive actions like #1 resonates with you and you feel the need to do that in the future, do us all a favor: LEAVE.

In this case, there is no door, just an X on your browser and a DELETE button on the forum's icon.

#4:
If you feel the forum isn't working for you through a variety of reasons (those cited above or perhaps something else we've failed at) you are FREE to LEAVE at anytime.

Login to your account, unselect "forum email" and you'll never hear from us again.
No announcement is needed.
No thread is needed.

You just leave and never come back.
Pretty simple eh?

Think of it this way...

If you're watching a live play at a theater and everyone around you is enjoying it but you aren't, you leave and walk out.

Done.

End of story.

You don't stand up, interrupt the performance and the stage actors and scream like a petulant toddler, "This play sucks and the actors are terrible. I'm leaving!" Doing so makes you a douchebag and a self-important prick.

We're here for all the same reason.

To rewrite the Script with our vision and with our pen.

It's different for everyone and that difference isn't what's important.

If you are here to be "that guy" -- the clever douche with a box of donuts shoved in our face while we grind the treadmill, GTFO.



Love, love, love this! ^^^^^
 

SM Switi

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this is so important people like this are everywhere around you and one should be aware of this ,their actions and words are all targeted toward making them feel superior to others ,by degrading everything around them holding a mentality that they are always right and that their opinion matters the most and is what everyone should follow ,even though they have no real experience and never tried what they preach ,they are just sitting there firing negative judgments towards you and your actions, they may be not aware of their behavior and not doing it on purpose it's just the way their brains are wired ,sometimes to create an excuse for themselves to justify their current situation,but you should be aware of them and their general description so you can identify a one is "that guy " sooner in life before you believe their words and start doubting yourself and your actions because once you do you will be just like them and you will end up in the same place and what happens then is that you become "that guy" yourself.
 

WJS

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Who is "that guy"?

"That guy" is so insecure and pissed-off about his life that he's already given up. And he looks at others who haven't given up, with contempt, disgust, and yes, a little bit of jealousy-- not because those people are different, but because those people are a blunt force reflection of his own insecurities and inadequacies.

But a lot more is going on here....

Instead of working to change his outlook (internal work) "that guy" works on changing everyone else's outlook (external work) to be in alignment with his own.

In internet parlance, we call these folks "haters".

But in psychological parlance, we call this the EGO -- no, not the "I drive a Lambo" ego, but the the part of the mind that constructs the concept of IDENTITY and SELF -- the EGO is only interested in defending the false internal reality it's created.

So in effect, "that guy" doesn't work on changing HIS situation, he wants to change everyone else's situation. On the web, this is attempted through the use of a variety of written parlor tricks; pseudo-intellectualism, nihilistic arguments, absolutes from generalizations, all wrapped up in a cute tiny bow of self-loathing narcissism and self-importance.

As a result "that guy" (who hasn't accomplished anything in life) has an unhealthy obsession with his own superiority and righteousness, although his own self-funded superiority and righteousness hasn't produced any meaningful results in the real world. No, he lives with his mum in a dilapidated flat on the seedy side of London. This fact alone is seething to his ego, further entrenching the EGO in a "fight-or-flight" mode to defend the situation. For 6 months we got FIGHT (and it didn't get any traction whatsoever) so now we get FLIGHT.

All of this dissonance and conflict caused by the identity grandeur makes him terribly angry, especially when the real world doesn't reflect back on his perceived superiority. So the EGO works to resolve the conflict.

Hence, you get the "that guy" lashing out unprovoked on forums and in the comments section on YouTube videos and blogs. Doing so props up the delusional EGO that the "victim" has engineered for himself. In other words, it feels good (temporarily) but more importantly, it maintains the status quo and the superior concept of self.

So let me be clear...

#1:
If you walk into a gym filled with people taking action to change their lives-- whether it be health, obesity, or training for a marathon-- and you find it acceptable to stand atop the counter and interrupt everyone by screaming, "You're all losers and you'll NEVER lose weight, NEVER get healthy, and NEVER win any competition!!" -- you've got serious issues.

(A side note: Compared with the general population NOT at the gym, those people at the gym have a significant improved probability of positive change than those not.)

#2:
If you feel compelled to do #1 (and you actually do it, demonstrating a total lack of self-awareness) you will be banned -- not because you "feel that way" but because you lack the emotional intelligence to understand that some generalized opinions about an ENTIRE GROUP are better kept to yourself. But then again, we aren't dealing with an opinion here, but a complex psychological process of ego and identity. And yeah, you aren't as important as you think.

In other words, no one here cares about your opinion other than the fact it was disruptive and disgustingly selfish.

#3:
If disruptive actions like #1 resonates with you and you feel the need to do that in the future, do us all a favor: LEAVE.

In this case, there is no door, just an X on your browser and a DELETE button on the forum's icon.

#4:
If you feel the forum isn't working for you through a variety of reasons (those cited above or perhaps something else we've failed at) you are FREE to LEAVE at anytime.

Login to your account, unselect "forum email" and you'll never hear from us again.
No announcement is needed.
No thread is needed.

You just leave and never come back.
Pretty simple eh?

Think of it this way...

If you're watching a live play at a theater and everyone around you is enjoying it but you aren't, you leave and walk out.

Done.

End of story.

You don't stand up, interrupt the performance and the stage actors and scream like a petulant toddler, "This play sucks and the actors are terrible. I'm leaving!" Doing so makes you a douchebag and a self-important prick.

We're here for all the same reason.

To rewrite the Script with our vision and with our pen.

It's different for everyone and that difference isn't what's important.

If you are here to be "that guy" -- the clever douche with a box of donuts shoved in our face while we grind the treadmill, GTFO.



Great write up @MJ DeMarco! This particular post is so important it should be a mandatory read. Check with you, is there any personal setting that I can make to have this post pops up every 6 months or so in my account like a reminder? I'd like to have a reality check every 6 months, lest I turn into "that guy". Thanks for caring and putting in so much effort to write this post. Really appreciate it.
 

Lord Business

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So in effect, "that guy" doesn't work on changing HIS situation, he wants to change everyone else's situation.
I understand perfectly why you don't want to see this guy here - this forum is one place for people who strive for greatness to get away from the sidewalkers and share thoughts with likeminded.

I just reread one of my alltime favorite books "How to get rich" by Felix Dennis. Quoting him: "
The Germans have a superb word for the (secret) pleasure humans obtain from the misfortunes of others. It is Schadenfreude – from schaden meaning ‘harm’ (from which we get the word ‘shadow’), and freude meaning ‘joy’. Those of you who are definitely going to be rich will recognise it often enough in the faces and body language of idiots around you. It is the price you must learn to pay for any attempt to raise yourself in the world. And I suspect that was as true ten thousand years ago as it is today."
 

JAJT

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Might I suggest linking the door photo to workopolis.com? :p

(only half kidding...)

Love the write-up.

Wish more folks knew how to accept their differences from a crowd or group, say "nope, not for me" and bow out maturely.
 
Last edited:
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MJ DeMarco

MJ DeMarco

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that their opinion matters the most and is what everyone should follow
The problem they don't understand is that all opinions are weighted by the body of your experience, both within the topic at hand and at life.

When you're 19 years old with zero life experience and living with mum, your world wisdom will be weighted accordingly.

If I had the luxury of hearing two opinions on pursuing one's purpose, who's opinion has a heavier weight? The average guy walking down the street who's ultimate dream is to watch The Chelsea Soccer club win the championship? Or Elon Musk?

Everyone has opinions, but not everyone realizes some opinions aren't worth the oxygen consumed to voice them.
 
OP
OP
MJ DeMarco

MJ DeMarco

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Check with you, is there any personal setting that I can make to have this post pops up every 6 months or so in my account like a reminder?
#1: Watch the thread -- it will send you an email anytime anyone responds.

#2: Bookmark it, which at the moment, is only available to INSIDERS.
 

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Andy Black

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Robert_R

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#4:
If you feel the forum isn't working for you through a variety of reasons (those cited above or perhaps something else we've failed at) you are FREE to LEAVE at anytime.

Login to your account, unselect "forum email" and you'll never hear from us again.
No announcement is needed.
No thread is needed.

You just leave and never come back.
Pretty simple eh?

thumbnail.jpg
 

LeoistheSun

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I gotta pay attention more to my environment.

Theirs a great deal of people who offer advice, when they should not be dispensing it in the first place. Even I do this.

Thankfully, I have a deep desire to buck the trends of everyone else and I feel a distrust of most peoples opinions.

It has to do with that certain human characteristic and follow others examples.
 

Vermilion

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I see 'that guy' as a gift from a God to enlighten people who are stuck in their lives and to point them in the right direction towards success.
 

SteveO

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I see 'that guy' as a gift from a God to enlighten people who are stuck in their lives and to point them in the right direction towards success.
I see "that guy" as a distraction from all the posts discussing what the doers are doing.

Oh wait... sorry... you are not an insider. I think god is in there also.
 

Lord Business

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I gotta pay attention more to my environment.

Theirs a great deal of people who offer advice, when they should not be dispensing it in the first place. Even I do this.

Thankfully, I have a deep desire to buck the trends of everyone else and I feel a distrust of most peoples opinions.

It has to do with that certain human characteristic and follow others examples.
World is full on bad advice (I just might be another example) - it's always 100% up to the listener to use the information. As for me - I kind of want to have some bad advice around - gives me a better perspective, especially about how the "hive mind" (95% of people) work. But it's 100% my responsibility how I'll use this advice.
 

WJK

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Who is "that guy"?

"That guy" is so insecure and pissed-off about his life outlook that he's already given up on life. And he looks at others who haven't given up, with contempt, disgust, and yes, a little bit of jealousy-- not because those people are different, but because those people are a blunt force reflection of his own insecurities and inadequacies.

But a lot more is going on here....

Instead of working to change his outlook (internal work) "that guy" works on changing everyone else's outlook (external work) to be in alignment with his own.

In internet parlance, we call these folks "haters".

But in psychological parlance, we call this the EGO -- no, not the "I drive a Lambo" ego, but the the part of the mind that constructs the concept of IDENTITY and SELF -- the EGO is only interested in defending the false internal reality it's created.

So in effect, "that guy" doesn't work on changing HIS situation, he wants to change everyone else's situation. On the web, this is attempted through the use of a variety of written parlor tricks; pseudo-intellectualism, nihilistic arguments, absolutes from generalizations, all wrapped up in a cute tiny bow of self-loathing narcissism and self-importance.

As a result "that guy" (who hasn't accomplished anything in life) has an unhealthy obsession with his own superiority and righteousness, although his own self-funded superiority and righteousness hasn't produced any meaningful results in the real world. No, he lives with his mum in a dilapidated flat on the seedy side of London. This fact alone is seething to his ego, further entrenching the EGO in a "fight-or-flight" mode to defend the situation. For 6 months we got FIGHT (and it didn't get any traction whatsoever) so now we get FLIGHT.

All of this dissonance and conflict caused by the identity grandeur makes him terribly angry, especially when the real world doesn't reflect back on his perceived superiority. So the EGO works to resolve the conflict.

Hence, you get the "that guy" lashing out unprovoked on forums and in the comments section on YouTube videos and blogs. Doing so props up the delusional EGO that the "victim" has engineered for himself. In other words, it feels good (temporarily) but more importantly, it maintains the status quo and the superior concept of self.

So let me be clear...

#1:
If you walk into a gym filled with people taking action to change their lives-- whether it be health, obesity, or training for a marathon-- and you find it acceptable to stand atop the counter and interrupt everyone by screaming, "You're all losers and you'll NEVER lose weight, NEVER get healthy, and NEVER win any competition!!" -- you've got serious issues.

(A side note: Compared with the general population NOT at the gym, those people at the gym have a significant improved probability of positive change than those not.)

#2:
If you feel compelled to do #1 (and you actually do it, demonstrating a total lack of self-awareness) you will be banned -- not because you "feel that way" but because you lack the emotional intelligence to understand that some generalized opinions about an ENTIRE GROUP are better kept to yourself. But then again, we aren't dealing with an opinion here, but a complex psychological process of ego and identity. And yeah, you aren't as important as you think.

In other words, no one here cares about your opinion other than the fact it was disruptive and disgustingly selfish.

#3:
If disruptive actions like #1 resonates with you and you feel the need to do that in the future, do us all a favor: LEAVE.

In this case, there is no door, just an X on your browser and a DELETE button on the forum's icon.

#4:
If you feel the forum isn't working for you through a variety of reasons (those cited above or perhaps something else we've failed at) you are FREE to LEAVE at anytime.

Login to your account, unselect "forum email" and you'll never hear from us again.
No announcement is needed.
No thread is needed.

You just leave and never come back.
Pretty simple eh?

Think of it this way...

If you're watching a live play at a theater and everyone around you is enjoying it but you aren't, you leave and walk out.

Done.

End of story.

You don't stand up, interrupt the performance and the stage actors and scream like a petulant toddler, "This play sucks and the actors are terrible. I'm leaving!" Doing so makes you a douchebag and a self-important prick.

We're here for all the same reason.

To rewrite the Script with our vision and with our pen.

It's different for everyone and that difference isn't what's important.

If you are here to be "that guy" -- the clever douche with a box of donuts shoved in our face while we grind the treadmill, GTFO.



What? No duh, man... you too sound like you get really tired of stupid!
 

Tommo

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Who is "that guy"?

"That guy" is so insecure and pissed-off about his life that he's already given up. And he looks at others who haven't given up, with contempt, disgust, and yes, a little bit of jealousy-- not because those people are different, but because those people are a blunt force reflection of his own insecurities and inadequacies.

But a lot more is going on here....

Instead of working to change his outlook (internal work) "that guy" works on changing everyone else's outlook (external work) to be in alignment with his own.

In internet parlance, we call these folks "haters".

But in psychological parlance, we call this the EGO -- no, not the "I drive a Lambo" ego, but the the part of the mind that constructs the concept of IDENTITY and SELF -- the EGO is only interested in defending the false internal reality it's created.

So in effect, "that guy" doesn't work on changing HIS situation, he wants to change everyone else's situation. On the web, this is attempted through the use of a variety of written parlor tricks; pseudo-intellectualism, nihilistic arguments, absolutes from generalizations, all wrapped up in a cute tiny bow of self-loathing narcissism and self-importance.

As a result "that guy" (who hasn't accomplished anything in life) has an unhealthy obsession with his own superiority and righteousness, although his own self-funded superiority and righteousness hasn't produced any meaningful results in the real world. No, he lives with his mum in a dilapidated flat on the seedy side of London. This fact alone is seething to his ego, further entrenching the EGO in a "fight-or-flight" mode to defend the situation. For 6 months we got FIGHT (and it didn't get any traction whatsoever) so now we get FLIGHT.

All of this dissonance and conflict caused by the identity grandeur makes him terribly angry, especially when the real world doesn't reflect back on his perceived superiority. So the EGO works to resolve the conflict.

Hence, you get the "that guy" lashing out unprovoked on forums and in the comments section on YouTube videos and blogs. Doing so props up the delusional EGO that the "victim" has engineered for himself. In other words, it feels good (temporarily) but more importantly, it maintains the status quo and the superior concept of self.

So let me be clear...

#1:
If you walk into a gym filled with people taking action to change their lives-- whether it be health, obesity, or training for a marathon-- and you find it acceptable to stand atop the counter and interrupt everyone by screaming, "You're all losers and you'll NEVER lose weight, NEVER get healthy, and NEVER win any competition!!" -- you've got serious issues.

(A side note: Compared with the general population NOT at the gym, those people at the gym have a significant improved probability of positive change than those not.)

#2:
If you feel compelled to do #1 (and you actually do it, demonstrating a total lack of self-awareness) you will be banned -- not because you "feel that way" but because you lack the emotional intelligence to understand that some generalized opinions about an ENTIRE GROUP are better kept to yourself. But then again, we aren't dealing with an opinion here, but a complex psychological process of ego and identity. And yeah, you aren't as important as you think.

In other words, no one here cares about your opinion other than the fact it was disruptive and disgustingly selfish.

#3:
If disruptive actions like #1 resonates with you and you feel the need to do that in the future, do us all a favor: LEAVE.

In this case, there is no door, just an X on your browser and a DELETE button on the forum's icon.

#4:
If you feel the forum isn't working for you through a variety of reasons (those cited above or perhaps something else we've failed at) you are FREE to LEAVE at anytime.

Login to your account, unselect "forum email" and you'll never hear from us again.
No announcement is needed.
No thread is needed.

You just leave and never come back.
Pretty simple eh?

Think of it this way...

If you're watching a live play at a theater and everyone around you is enjoying it but you aren't, you leave and walk out.

Done.

End of story.

You don't stand up, interrupt the performance and the stage actors and scream like a petulant toddler, "This play sucks and the actors are terrible. I'm leaving!" Doing so makes you a douchebag and a self-important prick.

We're here for all the same reason.

To rewrite the Script with our vision and with our pen.

It's different for everyone and that difference isn't what's important.

If you are here to be "that guy" -- the clever douche with a box of donuts shoved in our face while we grind the treadmill, GTFO.



I understand why you needed to say that however the people you are referring to mostly won't get it. I work alongside guys who have so little awareness of themselves that i can only shrug like atlas at their lack of self awareness.
Who is "that guy"?

"That guy" is so insecure and pissed-off about his life that he's already given up. And he looks at others who haven't given up, with contempt, disgust, and yes, a little bit of jealousy-- not because those people are different, but because those people are a blunt force reflection of his own insecurities and inadequacies.

But a lot more is going on here....

Instead of working to change his outlook (internal work) "that guy" works on changing everyone else's outlook (external work) to be in alignment with his own.

In internet parlance, we call these folks "haters".

But in psychological parlance, we call this the EGO -- no, not the "I drive a Lambo" ego, but the the part of the mind that constructs the concept of IDENTITY and SELF -- the EGO is only interested in defending the false internal reality it's created.

So in effect, "that guy" doesn't work on changing HIS situation, he wants to change everyone else's situation. On the web, this is attempted through the use of a variety of written parlor tricks; pseudo-intellectualism, nihilistic arguments, absolutes from generalizations, all wrapped up in a cute tiny bow of self-loathing narcissism and self-importance.

As a result "that guy" (who hasn't accomplished anything in life) has an unhealthy obsession with his own superiority and righteousness, although his own self-funded superiority and righteousness hasn't produced any meaningful results in the real world. No, he lives with his mum in a dilapidated flat on the seedy side of London. This fact alone is seething to his ego, further entrenching the EGO in a "fight-or-flight" mode to defend the situation. For 6 months we got FIGHT (and it didn't get any traction whatsoever) so now we get FLIGHT.

All of this dissonance and conflict caused by the identity grandeur makes him terribly angry, especially when the real world doesn't reflect back on his perceived superiority. So the EGO works to resolve the conflict.

Hence, you get the "that guy" lashing out unprovoked on forums and in the comments section on YouTube videos and blogs. Doing so props up the delusional EGO that the "victim" has engineered for himself. In other words, it feels good (temporarily) but more importantly, it maintains the status quo and the superior concept of self.

So let me be clear...

#1:
If you walk into a gym filled with people taking action to change their lives-- whether it be health, obesity, or training for a marathon-- and you find it acceptable to stand atop the counter and interrupt everyone by screaming, "You're all losers and you'll NEVER lose weight, NEVER get healthy, and NEVER win any competition!!" -- you've got serious issues.

(A side note: Compared with the general population NOT at the gym, those people at the gym have a significant improved probability of positive change than those not.)

#2:
If you feel compelled to do #1 (and you actually do it, demonstrating a total lack of self-awareness) you will be banned -- not because you "feel that way" but because you lack the emotional intelligence to understand that some generalized opinions about an ENTIRE GROUP are better kept to yourself. But then again, we aren't dealing with an opinion here, but a complex psychological process of ego and identity. And yeah, you aren't as important as you think.

In other words, no one here cares about your opinion other than the fact it was disruptive and disgustingly selfish.

#3:
If disruptive actions like #1 resonates with you and you feel the need to do that in the future, do us all a favor: LEAVE.

In this case, there is no door, just an X on your browser and a DELETE button on the forum's icon.

#4:
If you feel the forum isn't working for you through a variety of reasons (those cited above or perhaps something else we've failed at) you are FREE to LEAVE at anytime.

Login to your account, unselect "forum email" and you'll never hear from us again.
No announcement is needed.
No thread is needed.

You just leave and never come back.
Pretty simple eh?

Think of it this way...

If you're watching a live play at a theater and everyone around you is enjoying it but you aren't, you leave and walk out.

Done.

End of story.

You don't stand up, interrupt the performance and the stage actors and scream like a petulant toddler, "This play sucks and the actors are terrible. I'm leaving!" Doing so makes you a douchebag and a self-important prick.

We're here for all the same reason.

To rewrite the Script with our vision and with our pen.

It's different for everyone and that difference isn't what's important.

If you are here to be "that guy" -- the clever douche with a box of donuts shoved in our face while we
please dont sugar coat , tell us what you really think.
The reason why I often quote .r j ringer is he kicked me into reality when i was a young punk and I see the same reality based advice here mr mj. keep on waking us all the fk up
 

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GMSI7D

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What? No duh, man... you too sound like you get really tired of stupid!

it is the same thing at every level in society

that's why smart guys at the top are making sure that the crowd won't destroy their power

this is not my opinion. this is well written in many documents

people should read this book:


Public Opinion (book) - Wikipedia





quotation :

" It is a critical assessment of functional democratic government, especially of the irrational and often self-serving social perceptions that influence individual behavior and prevent optimal societal cohesion "

translation: stupidity does not have the right to stop intelligence . it must be stopped and managed by any means

this is a war


lippman.jpg
 

socaldude

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"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. As a man sees in his heart, so he sees. Through unclean windows, lenses, senses, we see things not as they are but as we are."

I think the main reason some people simply refuse to be more conscientious and self-aware is because 1. it's hard work 2. there is no clear path to success.

It makes some people go "Huh?, how is all this supposed to get me lambos and supermodels?"

It reminds me of Platos allegory of the cave where the prisoners are trapped only seeing shadows on the wall. Where the man with wisdom sees beyond what is presented to his senses. The man with wisdom will see "beyond" his blind-environmental conditioning.
 

GMSI7D

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"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. As a man sees in his heart, so he sees. Through unclean windows, lenses, senses, we see things not as they are but as we are."

I think the main reason some people simply refuse to be more conscientious and self-aware is because 1. it's hard work 2. there is no clear path to success.

It makes some people go "Huh?, how is all this supposed to get me lambos and supermodels?"

It reminds me of Platos allegory of the cave where the prisoners are trapped only seeing shadows on the wall. Where the man with wisdom sees beyond what is presented to his senses. The man with wisdom will see "beyond" his blind-environmental conditioning.

thank you. good post


the problem with trolls in life is that they have nothing to lose

that's why they are very dangerous. they aren't afraid, they take risks

they must be stopped because this attitude can turn into a winning attitude



let's take a look at a game of chess i played online against a troll . i was black

the king is walking straight to my king like a crazy terrorist

so this white king must be punished as soon as possible with no pity at all

there is no need to play with it and tease it or anything because this is what it wants !

total destruction as soon as possible is required . that's what i did

stupidity must be stopped . this is a duty




chess.png
 

Tjack102

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Who is "that guy"?

"That guy" is so insecure and pissed-off about his life that he's already given up. And he looks at others who haven't given up, with contempt, disgust, and yes, a little bit of jealousy-- not because those people are different, but because those people are a blunt force reflection of his own insecurities and inadequacies.

But a lot more is going on here....

Instead of working to change his outlook (internal work) "that guy" works on changing everyone else's outlook (external work) to be in alignment with his own.

In internet parlance, we call these folks "haters".

But in psychological parlance, we call this the EGO -- no, not the "I drive a Lambo" ego, but the the part of the mind that constructs the concept of IDENTITY and SELF -- the EGO is only interested in defending the false internal reality it's created.

So in effect, "that guy" doesn't work on changing HIS situation, he wants to change everyone else's situation. On the web, this is attempted through the use of a variety of written parlor tricks; pseudo-intellectualism, nihilistic arguments, absolutes from generalizations, all wrapped up in a cute tiny bow of self-loathing narcissism and self-importance.

As a result "that guy" (who hasn't accomplished anything in life) has an unhealthy obsession with his own superiority and righteousness, although his own self-funded superiority and righteousness hasn't produced any meaningful results in the real world. No, he lives with his mum in a dilapidated flat on the seedy side of London. This fact alone is seething to his ego, further entrenching the EGO in a "fight-or-flight" mode to defend the situation. For 6 months we got FIGHT (and it didn't get any traction whatsoever) so now we get FLIGHT.

All of this dissonance and conflict caused by the identity grandeur makes him terribly angry, especially when the real world doesn't reflect back on his perceived superiority. So the EGO works to resolve the conflict.

Hence, you get the "that guy" lashing out unprovoked on forums and in the comments section on YouTube videos and blogs. Doing so props up the delusional EGO that the "victim" has engineered for himself. In other words, it feels good (temporarily) but more importantly, it maintains the status quo and the superior concept of self.

So let me be clear...

#1:
If you walk into a gym filled with people taking action to change their lives-- whether it be health, obesity, or training for a marathon-- and you find it acceptable to stand atop the counter and interrupt everyone by screaming, "You're all losers and you'll NEVER lose weight, NEVER get healthy, and NEVER win any competition!!" -- you've got serious issues.

(A side note: Compared with the general population NOT at the gym, those people at the gym have a significant improved probability of positive change than those not.)

#2:
If you feel compelled to do #1 (and you actually do it, demonstrating a total lack of self-awareness) you will be banned -- not because you "feel that way" but because you lack the emotional intelligence to understand that some generalized opinions about an ENTIRE GROUP are better kept to yourself. But then again, we aren't dealing with an opinion here, but a complex psychological process of ego and identity. And yeah, you aren't as important as you think.

In other words, no one here cares about your opinion other than the fact it was disruptive and disgustingly selfish.

#3:
If disruptive actions like #1 resonates with you and you feel the need to do that in the future, do us all a favor: LEAVE.

In this case, there is no door, just an X on your browser and a DELETE button on the forum's icon.

#4:
If you feel the forum isn't working for you through a variety of reasons (those cited above or perhaps something else we've failed at) you are FREE to LEAVE at anytime.

Login to your account, unselect "forum email" and you'll never hear from us again.
No announcement is needed.
No thread is needed.

You just leave and never come back.
Pretty simple eh?

Think of it this way...

If you're watching a live play at a theater and everyone around you is enjoying it but you aren't, you leave and walk out.

Done.

End of story.

You don't stand up, interrupt the performance and the stage actors and scream like a petulant toddler, "This play sucks and the actors are terrible. I'm leaving!" Doing so makes you a douchebag and a self-important prick.

We're here for all the same reason.

To rewrite the Script with our vision and with our pen.

It's different for everyone and that difference isn't what's important.

If you are here to be "that guy" -- the clever douche with a box of donuts shoved in our face while we grind the treadmill, GTFO.



Wow. I definitely needed to read this. I was on r/entrepreneur on reddit to idk... See another perspective or something (and of course for mental masturbation) . A lot of discouraging stuff on there.
 
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MJ DeMarco

MJ DeMarco

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It's easy to think the "enemy" is someone else. What we see in others is generally a reflection of us.

There is no bright line distinction between you and "them" (that guy). When you see so much of a distinction between someone else and yourself it's more of a casted shadow than an accurate picture of reality.

Anyone can easily be "that guy" if they don't gel with anything accepted as fact. Thought the earth was round in a certain year and you were that guy even if you had a fairly accurate picture of reality.

The more important focus is to work on the ego rather than even worry or focus on "that guy". Let it be. It is counter-intuitive. It is and does what it wants.

The unconditioned mind doesn't just appear from seeing a glimpse of reality. It is a muscle. Albeit, it's a counter intuitive muscle.

Even understanding that the ego is the false self doesn't stop you from seeing the illusion circle in a field of squares.

Replacement with the real self happens through four ways:

Experience and action, working on the muscle directly, repetition of activity, or some combination of all three.

Ironically, you sometimes have to just let go and veg out on the TV or donuts, which is why it's counter-intuitive. It doesn't mean skip the hard work altogether though.

You really have to let it go. It's not as easy as it sounds though.
 

Alden

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Yeah I have been seeing this happen more and more often.

Every now and then a guy comes on and says some re hashed version of “99% won’t make it you’re losers.”

It’s really awful but at the same time I feel bad for the person who said it.
 

scottyg packfan

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What would you say is the difference between trolling and skepticism/questioning? And are the latter frowned upon also? I'm pretty new here so I don't quite have the feel for the forum yet. I'm still reading through threads. There are a lot! Very active.

I think sometimes insightful questioning, for example the socratic method style, could come off as trolling to some. I feel that the written word doesn't always convey intent correctly and can cause some confusion.

So, I'm really just hoping that in the future when I have some questions, I sincerely hope I'm not considered to be trolling. I guess there's only one way to find out.
 

cmor16

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What would you say is the difference between trolling and skepticism/questioning?
I think it's intent that sets the 2 apart. Trolls are generally transparent and their intent rises to the surface fairly quickly.
If you question something that isn't well received, your reaction will reveal your intent. Was it an attempt to disrupt the conversation or was it an honest attempt to gain an understanding of a specific topic?
 

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