Ever wish you were normal or average?

[thecoach]

Every once in a while I go through these little stints where I just wish I didn't care. It doesn't last much more than a day or 2, but it still happens here and there where I wish I could be happy with with just being the average joe that works for $25k a year and is happier than a pig in shit. I'm not the type of person that can just sit and do nothing or do something that isn't productive. Then I see people that have nothing, no drive, no ambition, and are absolutely pumped about their crappy job and they wouldn't have it any other way.

One example is a friend of mine that has worked retail for about 10 years for about $22-25,000 a year the last couple years. He just recently got a job as an inventory control officer with a warehouse where he'll be making $30k a year and he has been on cloud 9 for the last 2 months saying things like "I've been waiting for this all my life", "This is the break I've been waiting for!" He's 30 years old, single, lives in his parents basement making peanuts for money and he couldn't be happier! It's not like he's an idiot either, he went to university and everything taking business admin. He's very intelligent, but he's very average in every aspect of his life.

It's not that I'm not happy, but has anyone else ever wished they could just turn off the "motivation and desire" switch and just be content with being average?

 

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[Merkin Man]

This is a great question...but I'm going to reply to it from a different angle.

My problem is that I have built up a lifestyle that I have become too content with - I'm almost too average. I live comfortably among the middle-class, have a beautiful home, a nice car, good job - you name it, I'm Mr. Middle-Class, aka Mr. Average.

My problem is that I can't get motivated enough to make that change. I have many of the things I desire to have. I guess from where I sit, I wish I had your problem.

 

[SteveO]

I have friends that live the same way. While still happy to do all the same activities with them, I no longer start ANY discussion with them about their future. Most people are content with the direction of creating a higher salary.

No, I don't want to turn off the motivation and desire switch. :fastlane:

 

[1320Trader]

Nope. I enjoy my pursuit of big dreams....even more so when somebody tells me I cant do it. Average is boring.

 

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[andviv]

Yes, one of my best friends is just like that. He calls himself "hedonist" [Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is the most important pursuit of mankind. The name derives from the Greek word for "pleasure". The first basic idea behind hedonistic thought is that all actions can be measured on the basis of how much pleasure and how little pain (i.e. suffering) they produce.]

His point is to be happy with what he has right now and not to worry about the future.

I prefer to have a great future ahead of me, but sometimes I have wondered if all of this is worth my effort/time. What I do notice is that this moments of self-doubt when thinks are not going as I expect them to, or when I am not in sync with my plan/goals. Lack of focus is what generates this feelings, so when I notice I am thinking that way I flip a switch in my mind and start thinking on what I will be doing once the plan is fulfilled. My Vision Board keeps me in check.

 

[Diane Kennedy]

I could not even imagine working for someone else. It's the time freedom that is so important to me. It's not even that I'm working so much less right now. Actually, this week I'm working a lot. It's more that I CHOOSE when i work. This morning I had a slow start. The only thing I was accountable to was an online workshop that I did for eBay. Now, my time is my own. In fact, I'm going to go watch a movie and then work later tonight.

Would I take a giant step back and make $25K per year? No. I like the nice stuff way too much. But even more, I like the fact that we can sit around and figure out when we're going to take a trip to Africa and to India. You can't do that on 2 weeks/year vacation.

When I start feeling overwhelmed, or disillusioned, I do a "Gratitude Exercise". List out 5 things/people/events that you are especially grateful for right now. Then next to those, list "why" you're grateful and "next step" on what you want to do about it. (Could be just picking up the phone and saying "thank you" to someone who you are grateful for or it could be sending an uplifting email)

Nice thoughtful thread.

 

[nomadjanet]

His point is to be happy with what he has right now and not to worry about the future.

Why can't you be happy with what you have right now and not worry about the future & still be wildly successful?

Worry is a total waste of time & energy. Why worry? If you have a challenge, calculate a response and follow through, don't worry you will either fail, in which case you will learn not to do that again which will improve your future or you will succeed which will improve your future.

Success is better if you enjoy the process of succeeding.
Janet:coolgleamA:

 

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[thecoach]

Don't get me wrong, if I was to "give in" to these thoughts and become average I would go nuts knowing I could do better...haha. It's just a thought of how people can get excited and thrilled about life when they really have nothing? It's just something I don't really understand. Maybe it's just becuase I know I'm too good to be average, but I haven't quite made it to the fastlane yet. I think the biggest thing that got me thinking about this is that my paychecks from my business have been thin the last few months and I just got a job offer last week. It would be a huge increase in my cashflow in the short term, but in the long run it's not for me...I'm not a fan of working for someone else.

 

[ErikV10]

I'm very surprised when my classmates always tell me $40K/year is enough for them. I'm the exact opposite of that.

There's just something about success that makes me want to reach it and go past that.

 

[kimberland]

I have felt like that before.

I'd go home and have all my assorted projects
(gonna change the world, you know)
and then hear one of my sisters talk about
tv shows she's watched,
the whole lot of nothing she's doing.
I catch myself wishing that I also could just "be."

Then I try it for a while
and get bored out of my mind.
LOL

Some cars are meant to be driven hard.

 

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[AroundTheWorld]

Ya... I do experience something similar - particularly when I am busy or stressed.

I remember walking into a restaraunt and looking around at all the normal people (opposite of psychotic - like me) and thinking..... wouldn't it be nice to be one of them and just enjoying my dinner and my biggest stress is what to make for dinner tomorrow...

When I think that way, it is usually the clue that I am stressed and need to take a break and eat some popcorn and watch a movie.

 

[EasyMoney_in_NC]

I tell my wife all the time that there must be "something to be said" for living in a trailer park, with no big bills, no big debits, no cares.......just a six pack, a pack 'a smokes and something Nascar on TV.........






Then I get back to my nice suburban neighborhood home, A/C crankin', no wood panel walls, open the garage door and there is my Porsche, open the mail and the bank statements and there are enough numbers on either side of the commas...............and then that previous described scenario feeling goes right by

I'd LOVE a stupid simple life. But I like not working more and all the things that my good fortune has provided my family and I (although for me never enough) and I guess I couldn't ave it any other way

 

[tbsells]

I have felt that way before. It doesn't last long, but it does cross my mind that it would be much easier to be average. I'm not, so it would never work. I can't turn my mind off. I'm constantly looking for and thinking about new opportunities. Sometimes when I'm juggling 6 or 8 real estate transactions for other people, 3 or 4 rehabs for myself, management responsibilities in the office, and the normal stuff that is life....I feel a little overwhelmed. Ten minutes later I'm on MLS looking for the next deal....for relaxation. I have wondered whats wrong with me? I'm overwhelmed and looking for the next deal at the same time. Really doesn't make sense, but its who I am. Overwhelmed is temporary and fleeting and really a minor problem. A desire to do more and be more is part of my core being. I tried a 9 to 5 for about 3 months after college. Never been so miserable in my life. I looked around at a bunch of guys in blue suits and yellow ties all hoping to become somebody someday. I'm sure it didn't happen for most of them. They are now about 15 years into a 40 year run on the hamster wheel. I'm about 5 years from $12k monthly passive income from real estate. I'd like to say I'm proud of the decision I made. But, it really wasn't much of a decision. I just couldn't stand the jobs I was educated to do. I had to find something else. For me it was real estate sales and investing.

 

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[Rawr]

I'm very surprised when my classmates always tell me $40K/year is enough for them. I'm the exact opposite of that.

There's just something about success that makes me want to reach it and go past that.

Well the cars I am going to buy are 300k each, so that would make it a very long time without food or clothes on that 40k/year. So I guess I have to get more money.

 

[Legacy Dad]

I think it is easy to get motivated when you have no money, the hard part is when you start making some cash, you've got nice things and you're not struggling. Some people believe this is the end of the bus ride, they just find ways to improve their current lifestyle and never truly reach for something more significant.

Maybe it's fear, laziness or just content with being in the middle?

I try to associate with people who are at a level ahead of me and taste some of their lifestyle, that truly motivates me to step up and move to the next level.

I remember my first Gulstream flight, I thought to myself "Screw first class on Delta, I've gotta get one of these!"

I think once you get a taste of how others at a higher level live, it lets you see and feel that there is something else out there and it is attainable.

 

[8 SNAKE]

In my experience, "normal" people in my circle tend to worry about me. I love churning out ideas, pushing myself and juggling many different projects at once. Most of the average people think that I'll never find contentment in life and that I'll spend all of my time focusing on the next idea that comes to mind.

I try to explain my thought process and that I enjoy the way that I approach life, but they usually can't relate. Most of them don't understand the desire that I have to constantly challenge myself to push ahead, so they assume that I'm unhappy with my life. In reality, I couldn't live my life any other way.

 

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[tbsells]

In my experience, "normal" people in my circle tend to worry about me. I love churning out ideas, pushing myself and juggling many different projects at once. Most of the average people think that I'll never find contentment in life and that I'll spend all of my time focusing on the next idea that comes to mind.

I try to explain my thought process and that I enjoy the way that I approach life, but they usually can't relate. Most of them don't understand the desire that I have to constantly challenge myself to push ahead, so they assume that I'm unhappy with my life. In reality, I couldn't live my life any other way.

I'm the same way. Exactly.

 

[andviv]

Legacy Dad, you just made an excellent point. By surrounding myself with successful people I keep focused on reaching my goals. Many times, when I am feeling down I just pick up the phone and call one of my mentors, and just by talking about what they are doing and what deals they are putting together I get excited again. Yesterday I had a phone conversation with somebody I really admire and explained to him my next endeavor, and I mentioned to him one of the limiting factors that I saw for my project. When I mentioned this he just told me that, in his opinion, was piece of cake to accomplish. This type of support really helps me grow.

 

[yveskleinsky]

lol. I remember the "tipping point" for me when I realized I was an entrepreneur- and not normal. I was recently married (like 2 months) to a great guy- super stable. I felt the need to become super stable too, as I felt I couldn't take another person along for this crazy ride I called my life. ...My degree is in ESL with a minor in Ed, and I have a passion for kids with learning disabilities and who are tagged "at-risk". I took a job as a resource aide teacher in the California public school system. (that sentence right there should be the start of some joke that also incorporates a priest and a rabbi- but it was my reality at the time!) Anyhow, so I was working with the most anal-retentive man alive. No shit- this guy (the day I quit) instructed me on how to make copies, and how they should be in black and white and not color, and on and on. This was the last straw... he says, "You'll catch on, you seem bright enough." Like I'm a friggin moron, incapable of making copies or doing anything with out this jerk wad micromanaging me to death.

Like I said, I quit that day. I cried all the way home, sobbing to my mom, "Why can't a just be normal?! Why do I have all these ideas that won't turn off?! Why can't a view a cake job in the school system as an easy road to reitrement- instead of a death sentence dragged out over 20 years? Why can't I just punch a clock and go to Applebees for dinner and be happy?!" She laughed and told me it was because I was an entrepreneur at heart. She might as well have told me that I was a vampire. I knew from previous deals that if I were to act out on my entrepreneurial tendencies that would mean uncertainty and a general lack of support.

That was two years ago. I have since taken chances and never regretted any of it. I am almost out of the rat race and embrace who I am. That's why I'm here. I have an obsessive drive when it comes to real estate. It may not be healthy or balanced, but I can't stop it. I wake up at 2am thinking about ways to make something better or different. I have a hard time wanting to spend time with people outside of real estate or business because I don't care about daily dramas- in fact I try to avoid daily drama at all costs. Takes too much time that could be better spent on other things. ...I often ask myself when would enough be enough- when could I turn it off? Would I tone it done when I get to $10k a month passive? $100k? $1m? The answer is no. It's not about the money- it is about the process and the creativity. I probably exhaust most people with all my ideas. I've started keeping them to myself and only opening up here. ...I totally understand where you are coming from.

 

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[Genxer]

"Happiness & Success" have different definitions for different people. Unfortunately, most "normal" people have been programmed by society to believe that "happiness & success" is having a huge mortgage, car payments, lots of unsecured debt and a great job. And if you're really lucky, in 35 years when you're all used up you might have enough money to eat Ramen noodles in the old folks home until you die. I'm pretty sure most of us on this site don't want to end up like this. I, like Merkin Man, am comfortably living the life of Mr. Average as well- nice cars, nice house, nice toys, nice job, etc. The only difference between me and my fellow "corporate" co-workers is that I own several pieces of investment property, probably have a higher net worth and have a plan to, hopefully, not work as an "E" forever. People like us (i.e. cashflow quadrant thinkers, net worth builders) face mental challenges that are much more involved than the "average" joe because we are choosing a path that really isn't publicly talked about. No one walks around asking you how much passive income you've earned this month or how long before you can dump your job. You mention these ideas to most people and they look at you like your nuts. I often feel like I'm leading a double life when it comes to these ideas as most of my friends and family are content to work their job, be happy with their promotions and complain they don't get enough time off. No one said enlightenment or the path to enlightenment was easy. The power of this forum is that it provides a place to talk, vent, relate and pontificate the ideas and habits that lead to wealth. One of the most important things I have learned about life and obtaining wealth over the past few years is that the only definition of success that counts is the one I create. "Success" is a personal thing. People get over extended or feel like they have failed when they are trying to satisfy someone else's definition of success. Just my 2 cents.

 

[kimberland]

lol. I remember the "tipping point" for me when I realized I was an entrepreneur- and not normal.

You were very fortunate to go into a job that didn't humor your entrepreneurial tendancies.

I'm a new business development babe so my job is basically launching big budget start ups for corporate all day. All of the buzz, none of the equity/wealth. I would likely still be a 9-5'er if it weren't for wanting summers off.

So NOT fastlane.

Oh, and I could tell you some anal retentive boss stories, having worked in accounting firms. One boss would return any work not stapled "properly" (i.e. on the proper diagonal) and would only allow certain pens to be used in the office.

 

[ToddW]

Normal is easy if you can be content with 9-5, 2 weeks off, watching TV when you get home, sleeping and getting up and doing it all over agian.

This is NOT for me.

I enjoy doing a variety of outdoor activities that ALL cost money. I also enjoy traveling and free/flex time, and a normal job is NOT for me.

Everyone is different and for some people 40k a year for some company and living hte 'easy' (aka dull) life is for them.

Me, I'm a perfectionist and want everything in my life EXACTLY how I want/see it in my head. For me that takes time, money and a lot of research... which in th end mean $ to do the things I WANT to do.

If the things people want to do is work 9-5 watch tv, sleep, and repeat then more power to them... some would be jealous at being content at such a low level of entertainment.

:End ramble:

-Todd

 

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[KyJoe]

I can remember wanting to be in the easier classes when I was in grade school. Then I realized that it was hard for them also. Sometimes I feel like saying the heck with it, sell everything, and get a easy job. It would never work though, and I know it. My mind is constantly moving, probably like everyone else's here.

 

[Runum]

I have had normal jobs. I would commute to the big city every a.m. with the herd and home with the herd every p.m. At one point on the trip the road I was on would be higher than the rest. I would be at gridlocked at that point and look around me. I saw a huge amount of people just like me, commuting to a job they hated, every day, so they could go deeper in debt to buy more toys. I always knew there had to be a better way. I have tried many ways out of the rat race. Still not there yet. I have one of the most normal jobs, now, that there ever was, school teacher. However, I have a 5 minute commute and I get to have fun with science stuff. I also get 2 months off a year to totally focus on my business. I figure I only have 1 -2 more years before I can get out of the rat race if I want to. There has to be more to life than living for a wage. Good luck to all.:cheers:

Greg

 

[snowbank]

Can people live on $20-25k if they want to go outside of the house and do anything?

 

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[AroundTheWorld]

Can people live on $20-25k if they want to go outside of the house and do anything?

Hubby and I (and a whole gaggle of kids) lived on approximately that income for 6 years. We went out to dinner or drinks occasionally - had the kids in sports activities -
Then we read retire young retire rich... thank God.

But, yes. It can be done.