<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 56247" data-quote="Cat Lady" data-source="post: 859500"
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My advice: ask her what's she's really scared of. My <b><i>guess </i></b> (I don't know her, you do) is that these comments are coming from a place of fear. She's afraid of the uncertainty that comes with business. Or she's afraid of the loss in status in the eyes of her peers that come with a spouse who doesn't have a "proper" job? Maybe her parents didn't have enough of a pension to live well in retirement and she's concerned that without you having proper job, she won't either?<br />
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Or it's coming from economic stress right now. Rather than focus on correcting the "proper" job part of it, try to focus on correcting the parts that she's concerned about. Does she worry you don't have enough money to pay basic living expenses? Is she stressed that she isn't seeing you enough as you work a lot and that's why she brings up the fact you get paid leave? Maybe she is upset because she's dealing with the burden of the household while you are working, and needs more support with the work of the household?<br />
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Getting a job is a solution in her eyes to some sort of very valid <b><i>fear</i></b><i> - </i>so, instead of focusing on the "job" part, trying to find a solution to what is truly underneath her suggestions that isn't getting a real job. It could be supplementary income, but it could also just be that you are home at 6PM and doing the dishes or cooking dinner M-Friday. Maybe it's you saying that you will apply for a "proper job" in one year if your business hasn't succeeded. Figure out the FEAR that the solution of a "proper job" is solving, and suggest things that help tackle that real problem that aren't a "proper job."<br />
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Hey don't knock it, it's an entrepreneurial opportunity, I used to be a dancer and I was my own S-corp. <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-wink.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-shortname=";)" /> In the US, though, you don't get anything that looks like a "proper job" - no benefits and you don't work for anyone else. It can be fastlane, if you can put up with the regulation changes and dealing with handsy clients.
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Oh I like this answer. You dissected two very common emotions, the fear of uncertainty, and social anxiety (or shame?) based on perceived status. I hadn't even thought of the social one, but that is very apt. Uncertainty I notice all the time, because so many people see uncertainty as equivalent to danger or risk. Both of these biases can guide people right into decisions that are bad for them.<br />
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I think <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/23590/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="23590" data-username="@Andy Black">@Andy Black</a> 's comment is good advice. You may want to talk this through. Find out what the real issue is. If it is uncertainty, you can address that. If it is status, you can address that too. But you need to know which emotions you're addressing.<br />
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I'll tell you, when I met Wifey, her idea of security was a government job. Entrepreneurship was probably the most ludicrous suggestion someone could make. It took time and discussion, but now her idea of security is <i>something you control</i>. People can cultivate more mature opinions if you help them. Of course, you also have to be willing to listen to their point of view, respect it, and talk it out in a way that's not superior or preachy.<br />
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You can also crow about it later, but that will go down much more smoothly if both you and the wife can laugh about it at that point <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-wink.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-shortname=";)" /><br />
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handsy clients.<br />
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Oh boy. Yeah, I bet.</div>
