When to say goodbye, send someone home, or decline to see someone?

[JusticeForSpoils]

I'm a freshman in college, so I'm still in the early stages of learning to navigate adult relationships, platonic and romantic. My achilles heel lately, when it comes to my productivity and time management at least, is not being able to leave social settings and/or being unable to say no. I have developed a lot of good friendships, and I find that it is hard for me to say no to someone I enjoy being around, even if I have other things I should be doing (homework, work, gym, etc.) I keep people over too long, or stay out too late, because I get caught up in having fun and I don't know when I should call it quits. I also started dating a girl who lives in my apartment complex. We're getting past the honeymoon phase of "I want to see you every second of every day", but I still find myself hanging out with her almost every night. We like spending time together, and it's just really easy and convenient due to the living situation. I know I should kick her out earlier, but I lose track of time, and all of the sudden it's like midnight.

I just feel like I have a hard time deciding when end a social event, or when to decline altogether.

While the social connection is fantastic, and has made me much happier, I think it's time I start teaching myself how to balance it out with the rest of my life. It is starting to, slowly but surely, eat away at important areas of my life. What would your guys' advice be to start balancing everything out?

 

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[Emperor7]

I'm a freshman in college, so I'm still in the early stages of learning to navigate adult relationships, platonic and romantic. My achilles heel lately, when it comes to my productivity and time management at least, is not being able to leave social settings and/or being unable to say no. I have developed a lot of good friendships, and I find that it is hard for me to say no to someone I enjoy being around, even if I have other things I should be doing (homework, work, gym, etc.) I keep people over too long, or stay out too late, because I get caught up in having fun and I don't know when I should call it quits. I also started dating a girl who lives in my apartment complex. We're getting past the honeymoon phase of "I want to see you every second of every day", but I still find myself hanging out with her almost every night. We like spending time together, and it's just really easy and convenient due to the living situation. I know I should kick her out earlier, but I lose track of time, and all of the sudden it's like midnight.

I just feel like I have a hard time deciding when end a social event, or when to decline altogether.

While the social connection is fantastic, and has made me much happier, I think it's time I start teaching myself how to balance it out with the rest of my life. It is starting to, slowly but surely, eat away at important areas of my life. What would your guys' advice be to start balancing everything out?

Good day, concerning your girlfriend it's best to set a particular time maybe in a week( twice, thrice, it all depends on you) to be with her alone for an hour or so.
Then you should have the rest of the days for work.
Inform her of the time and explain the reason why.
Same thing with your friends, get busy and set time for meetups with them, it's the best because you won't feel guilty & absent minded during conversations.
And above all, friends would value your time together and respect you more considering the fact that you set a particular time and explain to them the reason for the absence, including your girlfriend

 

[Andy Black]

I'm a freshman in college, so I'm still in the early stages of learning to navigate adult relationships, platonic and romantic. My achilles heel lately, when it comes to my productivity and time management at least, is not being able to leave social settings and/or being unable to say no. I have developed a lot of good friendships, and I find that it is hard for me to say no to someone I enjoy being around, even if I have other things I should be doing (homework, work, gym, etc.) I keep people over too long, or stay out too late, because I get caught up in having fun and I don't know when I should call it quits. I also started dating a girl who lives in my apartment complex. We're getting past the honeymoon phase of "I want to see you every second of every day", but I still find myself hanging out with her almost every night. We like spending time together, and it's just really easy and convenient due to the living situation. I know I should kick her out earlier, but I lose track of time, and all of the sudden it's like midnight.

I just feel like I have a hard time deciding when end a social event, or when to decline altogether.

While the social connection is fantastic, and has made me much happier, I think it's time I start teaching myself how to balance it out with the rest of my life. It is starting to, slowly but surely, eat away at important areas of my life. What would your guys' advice be to start balancing everything out?

Try letting people know beforehand how long you've got or can stay for.

"Hey, I'd love to pop over. I'll have to head at 9pm though/if that's ok."

You may or may not give a reason. Either way try not to be apologetic.

Try that and see if it helps.

 

[JusticeForSpoils]

Try letting people know beforehand how long you've got or can stay for.

"Hey, I'd love to pop over. I'll have to head at 9pm though/if that's ok."

You may or may not give a reason. Either way try not to be apologetic.

Try that and see if it helps.

I tried this out today with my girlfriend. Honestly made a big difference. It let me give myself enough time before and after to get everything done I needed/wanted to. Very simple and practical advice, thank you!

 

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[perchboy]

Get your work done first and then go enjoy yourself!

That way you are on the path to success and will still enjoy and make the most out of your youth guilt free.

Life is too short to work 24/7 and it’s also too precious to never achieve anything great.

So do both and make the most out of this beautiful life.

 

[Kevin88660]

I'm a freshman in college, so I'm still in the early stages of learning to navigate adult relationships, platonic and romantic. My achilles heel lately, when it comes to my productivity and time management at least, is not being able to leave social settings and/or being unable to say no. I have developed a lot of good friendships, and I find that it is hard for me to say no to someone I enjoy being around, even if I have other things I should be doing (homework, work, gym, etc.) I keep people over too long, or stay out too late, because I get caught up in having fun and I don't know when I should call it quits. I also started dating a girl who lives in my apartment complex. We're getting past the honeymoon phase of "I want to see you every second of every day", but I still find myself hanging out with her almost every night. We like spending time together, and it's just really easy and convenient due to the living situation. I know I should kick her out earlier, but I lose track of time, and all of the sudden it's like midnight.

I just feel like I have a hard time deciding when end a social event, or when to decline altogether.

While the social connection is fantastic, and has made me much happier, I think it's time I start teaching myself how to balance it out with the rest of my life. It is starting to, slowly but surely, eat away at important areas of my life. What would your guys' advice be to start balancing everything out?

You can block out your time for important things.

If you keep rejecting to meet your friends soon they will drift away and stop asking to meet you. It just works naturally without you having to make some formal declaration that "I want to cut down my time in social activities".

Social activities are great if you network with at least some purpose. Identify peers who are also interested in homework, business or gym. Identify kids with rich parents. Groom the relationship for potential future uses.

 

[Andy Black]

I tried this out today with my girlfriend. Honestly made a big difference. It let me give myself enough time before and after to get everything done I needed/wanted to. Very simple and practical advice, thank you!

Awesome. Sometimes all it takes is a simple change in thinking or action.

 

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