What is the main reason why people fail in life?

[K1 Lambo]

Evening fellow fastlaners,

ever since I was a young kid, I've always been interested in people and to be exact, what's the difference between someone incredibly successful like let's say Dwayne Johnson, Andy Frisella or Tony Robbins to a normal Joe Blow on the street who lives a mediocre life with a 9-5 he hates, fat wife, 2 kids and is a pessimist on life? This is a very common thing I see with older individuals, they just have no life. It's like they're a living zombie. Am I the only one who sees that?

If you ask these people why they're not successful, it's always some lame excuse like I wasn't lucky or bad parents etc. Which by the way, are just excuses to justify their lack of achievements. Or they use a cloud and say that "it doesn't matter" when it clearly mattered to them at some point.

Mark Cuban said it perfectly in one interview: "Lack of brains, lack of effort". Whereas Andy Frisella says that there are 3 things that helped him: do the work, do it over time and learn from your mistakes. You do these 3 things and you'll be incredibly successful.

For you who are already very successful entrepreneurs, what is the main reason in your opinion on why people fail or stay mediocre?

NOTE: There is nothing wrong with being average, the world needs those people as well. We need people to join our systems. We need people to work at Walmart or someone who's gonna wash my Lambo. And that's ok.

From my experience(even though I've been in the game for 2 years and aren't anywhere near where I want to be), I can see success or failure patterns relatively quickly. Here are some of them:

Successful traits:
1. Incredible discipline doing the work NO matter how they feel. Of course, discipline doing the right thing aka the right habits.
2. Always learns new things, never stops learning. Has an open mind. This is something that never ceases to amaze me with bigger companies.
3. Tries new things, even if they're uncomfortable as hell. Things like cold calling, running long distances, workouts in the rain, asks a very hot girl out on a date when all the other guys don't have the guts.
4. Never gives up. Even if something doesn't work for the 1000th time, they find a way to make it happen.
5. Invests way more than what they consume. Of course, everybody consumes. Point is, you want to get to a point where you're so wealthy that spending money on a $400k car is nothing to you when you got $15m in the bank. They put their business or their thing over everything else.
6. Spends his/her time around other like minded people. One of the most important things a person can do.

Failure traits:
1. Bad social circle. Probably the biggest reason why people never make it. We're told to be "realistic" and live like everybody else.
2. Procrastination. That's a BIG ONE! Done it myself many times in the past.
3. Gives up after a little bit of effort. That persons sends only 10 emails and says it doesn't work or goes to the gym once and says the gym is not for me...
4. Closed mind. Never reads or educates himself/herself on new things.
5. Consumes more than what they make. The pretenders. We call them $30k or $40k millionaires. Someone who makes $50k-$60k a year and pretends he has a $60k-$70k lifestyle. Pretty common.
6. Stays in her/his comfort zone because it's not for "me".


Any other that come to your mind?

EDIT:

Succes trait => Invests their time because they understand the power of compounding their skills and knowledge.
Failure trait => Wastes time on useless shit.

 

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[Mathuin]

Fear of Failure

Felix Dennis said, "Fear of failing in the eyes of the world is the single biggest impediment to amassing wealth. Trust me on this. It will cripple you. You must confront it and harness it. If you shy away, for whatever reason, then the gate to the narrow road (the road to wealth) is shut. And it is shut for ever." Chapter 44, How To Make Money

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Any other that come to your mind?

When it comes to financial success, the #1 reason why people fail is because they neglect the math in their venture. No amount of effort can overcome bad math, just like no amount of arm flapping can help you fly.

 

[fastlane_dad]

All great points.

BUT ALSO --> There is so much more to it then that - you need to attribute to actually WANTING and VALUING some of the things you describe, to a degree higher then whatever else is currently happening and going on in your life currently.

Wanting or Valuing money or success is not enough. Who wouldn't want chiseled 6 pack abs, defined arms, a boatload of money, a doctorate education, exotic travel, flawless skin...etc

You need to WANT it above many and ALL other things that are just so much easier to obtain (fast food is tasty, NETFLIX is easy to stream, alcohol makes us feel good, and most common basics to provide for life's necessities especially in AMERICA are VERY easy now to come by).

It's also very easy to attain comfort relatively fast, in close to all facets of life - and there need be strong WHY's to push action, values and motivations to the forefront.

Almost any area of success today has been fully debunked.

There is not a lack of knowledge anymore. It's a matter of shifting someone's values (or having them get there themselves), and then following through with the work. Always has happened that way, and always will in the future.

@NeoDialectic and I have always had very STRONG, entrepreneurial FASTLANE values. Much of it came from immigrant, low-middle class upbringing and the desire for MORE. Seeing our parents struggle, and obsessing over money CONSTANTLY in daily life is enough motivation to escape that when you are older. As @MJ DeMarco demarco also pointed out above, figuring out the MATH behind it all is also a huge factor, and you gotta look at the vehicle and road you are driving to see where that can get you.

I quickly realized post my 4-year college degree that my 50K salary was not gonna retire me RICH by 40, and provide for a life of luxury along the way.

So why do people 'fail' or 'stay mediocre'? Well for one fail is a matter of definition and perspective. I have countless friends who have SLOWLANE jobs, and are doing 'great' for themselves, happy as can be. Staying mediocre is another topic as well. To be exceptional in any one field, you DO need to dedicate yourself , your thoughts and energy focusing towards that ONE THING.

As you grow older , your responsibilities only mount up (raising children, mounting work responsibilities, helping aging parents, working on your own relationships, etc). Your energy and motivation also fade. You become more comfortable. You start having more health issues. You no longer need to 'show off' in front of anyone.

The more I am around entrepreneurship, and other successful people the more I see the sacrifices, time, dedication, stress, perseverance, mental fortitude and much else that it takes to get to the claimed 'success'. It is FAR from being for everyone, and takes a toll on you no matter what route you take to get there.

 

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[socaldude]

I would say #1 is failure to have some kind of UTILITY mapping or mental framework. You can't create something valuable or you are always looking for easy ways that always fail. You need a good understanding of utility in order to penetrate your perception and guide your behavior.

#2 I would say lack of DISCERNMENT. You don't know how to behave or have priorities. You have no discipline. You constantly get drunk, eat like crap, do drugs or steal stuff. Or you suffer from one of the dark triad personality traits.

 

[NeoDialectic]

Evening fellow fastlaners,

ever since I was a young kid, I've always been interested in people and to be exact, what's the difference between someone incredibly successful like let's say Dwayne Johnson, Andy Frisella or Tony Robbins to a normal Joe Blow on the street who lives a mediocre life with a 9-5 he hates, fat wife, 2 kids and is a pessimist on life? This is a very common thing I see with older individuals, they just have no life. It's like they're a living zombie. Am I the only one who sees that?

If you ask these people why they're not successful, it's always some lame excuse like I wasn't lucky or bad parents etc. Which by the way, are just excuses to justify their lack of achievements. Or they use a cloud and say that "it doesn't matter" when it clearly mattered to them at some point.

Mark Cuban said it perfectly in one interview: "Lack of brains, lack of effort". Whereas Andy Frisella says that there are 3 things that helped him: do the work, do it over time and learn from your mistakes. You do these 3 things and you'll be incredibly successful.

For you who are already very successful entrepreneurs, what is the main reason in your opinion on why people fail or stay mediocre?

NOTE: There is nothing wrong with being average, the world needs those people as well. We need people to join our systems. We need people to work at Walmart or someone who's gonna wash my Lambo. And that's ok.

From my experience(even though I've been in the game for 2 years and aren't anywhere near where I want to be), I can see success or failure patterns relatively quickly. Here are some of them:

Successful traits:
1. Incredible discipline doing the work NO matter how they feel. Of course, discipline doing the right thing aka the right habits.
2. Always learns new things, never stops learning. Has an open mind. This is something that never ceases to amaze me with bigger companies.
3. Tries new things, even if they're uncomfortable as hell. Things like cold calling, running long distances, workouts in the rain, asks a very hot girl out on a date when all the other guys don't have the guts.
4. Never gives up. Even if something doesn't work for the 1000th time, they find a way to make it happen.
5. Invests way more than what they consume. Of course, everybody consumes. Point is, you want to get to a point where you're so wealthy that spending money on a $400k car is nothing to you when you got $15m in the bank. They put their business or their thing over everything else.
6. Spends his/her time around other like minded people. One of the most important things a person can do.

Failure traits:
1. Bad social circle. Probably the biggest reason why people never make it. We're told to be "realistic" and live like everybody else.
2. Procrastination. That's a BIG ONE! Done it myself many times in the past.
3. Gives up after a little bit of effort. That persons sends only 10 emails and says it doesn't work or goes to the gym once and says the gym is not for me...
4. Closed mind. Never reads or educates himself/herself on new things.
5. Consumes more than what they make. The pretenders. We call them $30k or $40k millionaires. Someone who makes $50k-$60k a year and pretends he has a $60k-$70k lifestyle. Pretty common.
6. Stays in her/his comfort zone because it's not for "me".


Any other that come to your mind?

EDIT:

Succes trait => Invests their time because they understand the power of compounding their skills and knowledge.
Failure trait => Wastes time on useless shit.

I don't want to derail the thread, but why do you think so many people are failures and not successes? Try judging people by their actions and not their words. Their definition of success is just different than yours. Now all the traits you listed become trivial to use as judgements. E.g. Procrastinating WHAT exactly? If someone values family over financial success and they spend all day with their kids instead of on their business.....Are they procrastinating doing their paperwork or are they correctly prioritizing tasks.

The only mildly predictive answer of success that I have been able to come up with is by judging if someone is happy/fulfilled/satisfied. If they are and they don't seem successful to you, it just seems like the case of judging a squirrel by their ability to fly. If they aren't, then they may not be acting on their values or are confused about their values. Which is the most important thing to figure out first.

So if you are asking me what needs to be done to be successful (in a general matter like it seems you are asking):

1. Figure out what your highest values are.
2. Figure out the optimal mindset to achieve those values.
3. Figure out the actions you need to take to take you from your position to living your values.
4. Take the required steps that you figured out at as fast of a pace as you can bear.

Everything else flows from these steps. What is successful depends on your values. What traits you need depends on your optimal mindset. Etc...

 

[K1 Lambo]

Fear of Failure

Felix Dennis said, "Fear of failing in the eyes of the world is the single biggest impediment to amassing wealth. Trust me on this. It will cripple you. You must confront it and harness it. If you shy away, for whatever reason, then the gate to the narrow road (the road to wealth) is shut. And it is shut for ever." Chapter 44, How To Make Money

That's a BIG one. Probably the main reason.

When it comes to financial success, the #1 reason why people fail is because they neglect the math in their venture. No amount of effort can overcome bad math, just like no amount of arm flapping can help you fly.

Yeah, makes sense. If you build a business on a flawed foundation, then no amount of work is really going to give you those big wins. I really liked your example with the gumball machine in the unscripted book(reading it currently). That's such a brilliant way to explain it! Most people work hard in the wrong system.

 

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[K1 Lambo]

All great points.

BUT ALSO --> There is so much more to it then that - you need to attribute to actually WANTING and VALUING some of the things you describe, to a degree higher then whatever else is currently happening and going on in your life currently.

Wanting or Valuing money or success is not enough. Who wouldn't want chiseled 6 pack abs, defined arms, a boatload of money, a doctorate education, exotic travel, flawless skin...etc

You need to WANT it above many and ALL other things that are just so much easier to obtain (fast food is tasty, NETFLIX is easy to stream, alcohol makes us feel good, and most common basics to provide for life's necessities especially in AMERICA are VERY easy now to come by).

It's also very easy to attain comfort relatively fast, in close to all facets of life - and there need be strong WHY's to push action, values and motivations to the forefront.

Almost any area of success today has been fully debunked.

There is not a lack of knowledge anymore. It's a matter of shifting someone's values (or having them get there themselves), and then following through with the work. Always has happened that way, and always will in the future.

@NeoDialectic and I have always had very STRONG, entrepreneurial FASTLANE values. Much of it came from immigrant, low-middle class upbringing and the desire for MORE. Seeing our parents struggle, and obsessing over money CONSTANTLY in daily life is enough motivation to escape that when you are older. As @MJ DeMarco demarco also pointed out above, figuring out the MATH behind it all is also a huge factor, and you gotta look at the vehicle and road you are driving to see where that can get you.

I quickly realized post my 4-year college degree that my 50K salary was not gonna retire me RICH by 40, and provide for a life of luxury along the way.

So why do people 'fail' or 'stay mediocre'? Well for one fail is a matter of definition and perspective. I have countless friends who have SLOWLANE jobs, and are doing 'great' for themselves, happy as can be. Staying mediocre is another topic as well. To be exceptional in any one field, you DO need to dedicate yourself , your thoughts and energy focusing towards that ONE THING.

As you grow older , your responsibilities only mount up (raising children, mounting work responsibilities, helping aging parents, working on your own relationships, etc). Your energy and motivation also fade. You become more comfortable. You start having more health issues. You no longer need to 'show off' in front of anyone.

The more I am around entrepreneurship, and other successful people the more I see the sacrifices, time, dedication, stress, perseverance, mental fortitude and much else that it takes to get to the claimed 'success'. It is FAR from being for everyone, and takes a toll on you no matter what route you take to get there.

Great points. What you say kind of reminds me what Tony Robbins used to say: You have to make it a must, not just a want. Wanting something is not enough. There are lots of people who want chiseled abs, fast cars, mansions, playboy level gfs, happy children etc. Tony Robbins always used to talk about raising your standards, even in his old school clips.

Recently I walked through a goal setting course and a guy said something that stuck with me and it's kind of like what Tony Robbins used to say. If your goal is to make $10m this year then put a goal to not make less than $10m because that's a part of your identity now. It's sort of what you're talking about, it has to be an innate obsession. Most people lack that.

And yeah, it's not as black and white. There are so many factors that come into play. It has to be your total focus otherwise you're not gonna make it.

I'm pretty sure it was the case when you built your business and then sold it when you started selling through Amazon. Btw I just read your and @NeoDialectic 's story. Awesome to see legit entrepreneurs here.

 

[K1 Lambo]

I would say #1 is failure to have some kind of UTILITY mapping or mental framework. You can't create something valuable or you are always looking for easy ways that always fail. You need a good understanding of utility in order to penetrate your perception and guide your behavior.

#2 I would say lack of DISCERNMENT. You don't know how to behave or have priorities. You have no discipline. You constantly get drunk, eat like crap, do drugs or steal stuff. Or you suffer from one of the dark triad personality traits.

Very good points as well. Lack of direction or no goals are common too. No discipline/accountability is a big one too. Oh and the victim mindset...

 

[K1 Lambo]

I don't want to derail the thread, but why do you think so many people are failures and not successes? Try judging people by their actions and not their words. Their definition of success is just different than yours. Now all the traits you listed become trivial to use as judgements. E.g. Procrastinating WHAT exactly? If someone values family over financial success and they spend all day with their kids instead of on their business.....Are they procrastinating doing their paperwork or are they correctly prioritizing tasks.

The only mildly predictive answer of success that I have been able to come up with is by judging if someone is happy/fulfilled/satisfied. If they are and they don't seem successful to you, it just seems like the case of judging a squirrel by their ability to fly. If they aren't, then they may not be acting on their values or are confused about their values. Which is the most important thing to figure out first.

So if you are asking me what needs to be done to be successful (in a general matter like it seems you are asking):

1. Figure out what your highest values are.
2. Figure out the optimal mindset to achieve those values.
3. Figure out the actions you need to take to take you from your position to living your values.
4. Take the required steps that you figured out at as fast of a pace as you can bear.

Everything else flows from these steps. What is successful depends on your values. What traits you need depends on your optimal mindset. Etc...

That's a quite intelligent way to put it. Some people just have different values and goals etc. And that's ok. Money is just an aspect, it doesn't necessarily define if a person is successful or not. There are a bunch of people in very high paying jobs who are absolutely miserable because their life does not align with their values/purpose, they spend no time with their children and the wife is ready to divorce them with a hot dude at the gym. So you may find a shaolin monk who's broke but he's so aligned with his values and people in his culture may see him as a great success in many areas in life. That guy may be a lot happier than a $250k a year banker in NYC.

I'm not sure if you'll agree with me on this. However, I've seen quite a lot of people who once wanted something like let's say a dream car, more money or a nice body or whatever and then at some point they've given up and say stuff like "ah, that doesn't matter anymore" but they still want it anyway. They lower their standards to make themselves feel better and so on. Have you seen that before?

 

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[JustMorpheus]

All great points.

BUT ALSO --> There is so much more to it then that - you need to attribute to actually WANTING and VALUING some of the things you describe, to a degree higher then whatever else is currently happening and going on in your life currently.

Wanting or Valuing money or success is not enough. Who wouldn't want chiseled 6 pack abs, defined arms, a boatload of money, a doctorate education, exotic travel, flawless skin...etc

You need to WANT it above many and ALL other things that are just so much easier to obtain (fast food is tasty, NETFLIX is easy to stream, alcohol makes us feel good, and most common basics to provide for life's necessities especially in AMERICA are VERY easy now to come by).

It's also very easy to attain comfort relatively fast, in close to all facets of life - and there need be strong WHY's to push action, values and motivations to the forefront.

Almost any area of success today has been fully debunked.

There is not a lack of knowledge anymore. It's a matter of shifting someone's values (or having them get there themselves), and then following through with the work. Always has happened that way, and always will in the future.

@NeoDialectic and I have always had very STRONG, entrepreneurial FASTLANE values. Much of it came from immigrant, low-middle class upbringing and the desire for MORE. Seeing our parents struggle, and obsessing over money CONSTANTLY in daily life is enough motivation to escape that when you are older. As @MJ DeMarco demarco also pointed out above, figuring out the MATH behind it all is also a huge factor, and you gotta look at the vehicle and road you are driving to see where that can get you.

I quickly realized post my 4-year college degree that my 50K salary was not gonna retire me RICH by 40, and provide for a life of luxury along the way.

So why do people 'fail' or 'stay mediocre'? Well for one fail is a matter of definition and perspective. I have countless friends who have SLOWLANE jobs, and are doing 'great' for themselves, happy as can be. Staying mediocre is another topic as well. To be exceptional in any one field, you DO need to dedicate yourself , your thoughts and energy focusing towards that ONE THING.

As you grow older , your responsibilities only mount up (raising children, mounting work responsibilities, helping aging parents, working on your own relationships, etc). Your energy and motivation also fade. You become more comfortable. You start having more health issues. You no longer need to 'show off' in front of anyone.

The more I am around entrepreneurship, and other successful people the more I see the sacrifices, time, dedication, stress, perseverance, mental fortitude and much else that it takes to get to the claimed 'success'. It is FAR from being for everyone, and takes a toll on you no matter what route you take to get there.

This is a well put post. it really shows what kind of dedication is required for “success”.

Main ideas I pulled where:
1) Success has to be one of very FEW things you want in life. Otherwise you waste precious time, energy, attention of trivial things.
“Those whose wants are few gets them, those whose wants are great go astray.” - Lao Tzu

2)The best time for entrepreneurship is when your younger. Less ‘forced’ responsibilities such as family/relationship that pull on your time.

3) The entrepreneur path isn’t easy and isn’t for those who aren’t willing to put in the won’t over an extended period of time.

Thank you for you post dude!

 

[fastlane_dad]

This is a well put post. it really shows what kind of dedication is required for “success”.

Main ideas I pulled where:
1) Success has to be one of very FEW things you want in life. Otherwise you waste precious time, energy, attention of trivial things.
“Those whose wants are few gets them, those whose wants are great go astray.” - Lao Tzu

2)The best time for entrepreneurship is when your younger. Less ‘forced’ responsibilities such as family/relationship that pull on your time.

3) The entrepreneur path isn’t easy and isn’t for those who aren’t willing to put in the won’t over an extended period of time.

Thank you for you post dude!

Great summary - you hit the nail on the head from what I was trying to convey.

Point 2 is dead on. I felt like there were less demands on my time when I was younger. There was plenty of time to go to college, work on a business, workout, hang out with friends and date all at the same time. Much less expectations all around. Just overall many 'values' that didn't seem as important. I would of rather mostly ALWAYS worked on my fastlane business vs. going out friday/saturday nights. I remember having to cover up me 'working' vs going out to my friends as they couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to be out partying, having fun chasing chicks on the weekends with them.

Now the decision becomes much harder (for me!) when you have a wife/children/aging parents and you have to say NO to them. You start noticing the shortness of life, and have to reshuffle your time to areas and values you deem most important. And whos to say that some people don't do this right off the bat at 20 years old, leaving little to no room for 'extra-curricular' business building at ANY time of their life.

Point 3 - Even if you DO put in the work many times it isn't easy. It eats up a LOT of resources. Time. Money. Energy. Relationships. It's an ELEPHANT that doesn't stop asking for more. It's an EXTREME risk proposition, from MANY angles. But yeah, at a minimum - you are putting in TONS of work, over an extended period of time. Many times with ZERO TO NO results, or much to show for it!

So yeah - there's really no easy or fast way to quantify any of it.

It's a grind that's for sure. Even if you start young, already ARE entrepreneurially (sp?) minded, and have some encouragement, accountability or a partnership along the way.

None of it is still guaranteed in the end - and you best enjoy the JOURNEY because many times that will be all that's left to show for it if you don't succeed.

 

[FIFL]

Great summary - you hit the nail on the head from what I was trying to convey.

Point 2 is dead on. I felt like there were less demands on my time when I was younger. There was plenty of time to go to college, work on a business, workout, hang out with friends and date all at the same time. Much less expectations all around. Just overall many 'values' that didn't seem as important. I would of rather mostly ALWAYS worked on my fastlane business vs. going out friday/saturday nights. I remember having to cover up me 'working' vs going out to my friends as they couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to be out partying, having fun chasing chicks on the weekends with them.

Now the decision becomes much harder (for me!) when you have a wife/children/aging parents and you have to say NO to them. You start noticing the shortness of life, and have to reshuffle your time to areas and values you deem most important. And whos to say that some people don't do this right off the bat at 20 years old, leaving little to no room for 'extra-curricular' business building at ANY time of their life.

Point 3 - Even if you DO put in the work many times it isn't easy. It eats up a LOT of resources. Time. Money. Energy. Relationships. It's an ELEPHANT that doesn't stop asking for more. It's an EXTREME risk proposition, from MANY angles. But yeah, at a minimum - you are putting in TONS of work, over an extended period of time. Many times with ZERO TO NO results, or much to show for it!

So yeah - there's really no easy or fast way to quantify any of it.

It's a grind that's for sure. Even if you start young, already ARE entrepreneurially (sp?) minded, and have some encouragement, accountability or a partnership along the way.

None of it is still guaranteed in the end - and you best enjoy the JOURNEY because many times that will be all that's left to show for it if you don't succeed.

I was recently watching a youtube vid of a 'day in the life' of an entreprenuer. The video was quite accurate, it wasn't some glamorous existence full of excitement, it was what we know - hard work, lots of decisions, some small setbacks, some small incremental progress. The expected. While I was watching it, it dawned on me - this guy has NOTHING interrupting him all day long.

I can't believe how much children, ageing parents, and other responsibilities are of an additional burden. When I was in my 20's working my arse off with no concern for others was easy. No interruptions, no distractions, no guilty feeling you should probably do a bit more with your family.

Then I think of a friend of mine. She got pregnant at 19. The father of the child left when the kid was 1 or 2. She spent her entire 20s and early 30's raising a child single-handedly, struggling to get by, and still is. While not necessarily a deal-breaker, that kind of thing has a pretty big impact on your chances of success.

Then there's people with serious mental illness, depression and all those kinds of things. If you haven't known someone with a real mental illness, you might be surprised how genuinely debilitating it can be. Lots of people have other shit going on in their lives that depletes their time, energy, and focus, and for a variety of reasons just can't manage those situations as well as focusing on being successful.

It all seems like an excuse, and it has the potential to be, but you just have to find a way to make it work to the best of your potential. As a couple of the others have said, you have to value it more than anything else, then you have the best chance of finding a way.

 

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[K1 Lambo]

I was recently watching a youtube vid of a 'day in the life' of an entreprenuer. The video was quite accurate, it wasn't some glamorous existence full of excitement, it was what we know - hard work, lots of decisions, some small setbacks, some small incremental progress. The expected. While I was watching it, it dawned on me - this guy has NOTHING interrupting him all day long.

I can't believe how much children, ageing parents, and other responsibilities are of an additional burden. When I was in my 20's working my arse off with no concern for others was easy. No interruptions, no distractions, no guilty feeling you should probably do a bit more with your family.

Then I think of a friend of mine. She got pregnant at 19. The father of the child left when the kid was 1 or 2. She spent her entire 20s and early 30's raising a child single-handedly, struggling to get by, and still is. While not necessarily a deal-breaker, that kind of thing has a pretty big impact on your chances of success.

Then there's people with serious mental illness, depression and all those kinds of things. If you haven't known someone with a real mental illness, you might be surprised how genuinely debilitating it can be. Lots of people have other shit going on in their lives that depletes their time, energy, and focus, and for a variety of reasons just can't manage those situations as well as focusing on being successful.

It all seems like an excuse, and it has the potential to be, but you just have to find a way to make it work to the best of your potential. As a couple of the others have said, you have to value it more than anything else, then you have the best chance of finding a way.

Yep, when you're very young (15-30), that is the best time to start working on your future. Mark Cuban said the same thing.

When you're young, you have no real obligations unless you totally mess it up with overdose of alcohol, netflix and chill, drugs, smoking, partying, bad partner, kids at the wrong time etc.

The problem when you get older is it is much harder to teach an old dog new tricks. Once you're let's say 40 or 50, and decide to start your journey, there is such a big gap you have to go through compared to a young person who started at let's say 18 or 20s. Being older does have an advantage to it with experience, wiseness and so on. And usually at that age, you have other obligations like kids, mortage, debt, ageing parents etc. That can be such a burden for so many people. It is possible though, but the best time to start is when you're young for sure.

 

[cottonbuds]

I would say #1 is failure to have some kind of UTILITY mapping or mental framework. You can't create something valuable or you are always looking for easy ways that always fail. You need a good understanding of utility in order to penetrate your perception and guide your behavior.

#2 I would say lack of DISCERNMENT. You don't know how to behave or have priorities. You have no discipline. You constantly get drunk, eat like crap, do drugs or steal stuff. Or you suffer from one of the dark triad personality traits.

Can you expand a bit more on what you mean by utility mapping framework? Thanks

 

[NeoDialectic]

I'm not sure if you'll agree with me on this. However, I've seen quite a lot of people who once wanted something like let's say a dream car, more money or a nice body or whatever and then at some point they've given up and say stuff like "ah, that doesn't matter anymore" but they still want it anyway. They lower their standards to make themselves feel better and so on. Have you seen that before?

I'm undecided on the issue. I think there is an answer, but I'm not sure how knowable it is.

For example, let's say someone used to say they want a Lambo, but now say "ah, that doesn't matter anymore". I can see atleast 2 different scenario's that would lead me to 2 different conclusions. There is the one you point out which is that he still really values and wants a Lambo, but has accepted his lot in life and lowered his standard to make himself feel better. The other scenario is that he wanted a Lambo because he wanted validation from his peers. Then he grew up and realized that type of validation isn't as useful as he thought or maybe he got it in a different way.

The smarter the person, the less likely I think I would be able to tell which is the case. To the point that he himself wouldn't be able to tell as he is that much better at convincing himself with the right words and theories.

One heuristic that I rely on that isn't bulletproof but helps me sort through things more often than not is "can this person actually do/achieve X if he wanted to?". For example... I really wanted an Aventador before having my Gallardo. Since selling my G, I currently do not have any intention of getting an Aventador unless my life situation really changes. After getting the G and realizing how little I could use a car like that in my current life. So I lost most of my yearning for it. From the outside, the only reason I would believe my own BS on that is because I actually can afford an Aventador... So less reason I would just be spewing cope.

Lastly.....I'm not even sure if there is anything wrong with lowering your standards on things you don't value that much. At 16 I thought I could have it all. By 34, I have realized that with my limited time on earth I can have almost anything but not everything. Thats some serious cope right there. But it's both true and useful to have that point of view all the same..... So if I'm being honest, I'm not sure how much I would judge the 45 year old average man who dreamt of a Lambo, but has found a happy and fulfilling life in a "normal" career and family. Why should he continue agonizing over something that will realistically never happen simply because he doesn't have any remaining time/energy after working on achieving his primary values (family).

 

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[K1 Lambo]

I'm undecided on the issue. I think there is an answer, but I'm not sure how knowable it is.

For example, let's say someone used to say they want a Lambo, but now say "ah, that doesn't matter anymore". I can see atleast 2 different scenario's that would lead me to 2 different conclusions. There is the one you point out which is that he still really values and wants a Lambo, but has accepted his lot in life and lowered his standard to make himself feel better. The other scenario is that he wanted a Lambo because he wanted validation from his peers. Then he grew up and realized that type of validation isn't as useful as he thought or maybe he got it in a different way.

The smarter the person, the less likely I think I would be able to tell which is the case. To the point that he himself wouldn't be able to tell as he is that much better at convincing himself with the right words and theories.

One heuristic that I rely on that isn't bulletproof but helps me sort through things more often than not is "can this person actually do/achieve X if he wanted to?". For example... I really wanted an Aventador before having my Gallardo. Since selling my G, I currently do not have any intention of getting an Aventador unless my life situation really changes. After getting the G and realizing how little I could use a car like that in my current life. So I lost most of my yearning for it. From the outside, the only reason I would believe my own BS on that is because I actually can afford an Aventador... So less reason I would just be spewing cope.

Lastly.....I'm not even sure if there is anything wrong with lowering your standards on things you don't value that much. At 16 I thought I could have it all. By 34, I have realized that with my limited time on earth I can have almost anything but not everything. Thats some serious cope right there. But it's both true and useful to have that point of view all the same..... So if I'm being honest, I'm not sure how much I would judge the 45 year old average man who dreamt of a Lambo, but has found a happy and fulfilling life in a "normal" career and family. Why should he continue agonizing over something that will realistically never happen simply because he doesn't have any remaining time/energy after working on achieving his primary values (family).

Yeah, I was thinking of the former. Some people deep down still want that stuff and pretend like it doesn't matter anymore. A great example I can think of is when you're with a smoking hot girl(speaking from experience), and the looks you get from other girls, let's say average, normal looking girls(often times a little chubby) start shaming and hating on that hot girl because they once wanted to have that body/look sexy and still don't have it.

And yeah, there are some people who wanted something like in your case an Aventador but once you've already purchased and owned your Gallardo, you sort of already have that experience in you so buying the Aventador is not really going to change your life by that much because that checkbox is already crossed. Just like for me buying my first Aventador will be a milestone.

Some big car guys who are entrepreneurs buy more cars after their first main exotic since it's a big passion of theirs but yeah the first time you get it it must be an exhilarating experience.

 

[xxx22]

Yep, when you're very young (15-30), that is the best time to start working on your future. Mark Cuban said the same thing.

When you're young, you have no real obligations unless you totally mess it up with overdose of alcohol, netflix and chill, drugs, smoking, partying, bad partner, kids at the wrong time etc.

The problem when you get older is it is much harder to teach an old dog new tricks. Once you're let's say 40 or 50, and decide to start your journey, there is such a big gap you have to go through compared to a young person who started at let's say 18 or 20s. Being older does have an advantage to it with experience, wiseness and so on. And usually at that age, you have other obligations like kids, mortage, debt, ageing parents etc. That can be such a burden for so many people. It is possible though, but the best time to start is when you're young for sure.

I mean most successful startup founders are in their 40s, so statistics goes against your opinion and as always debunks anecdotal evidence. The above sounds like a justification for people in their 40s to give up.
Even in Unscripted MJ tells you to get a job first as you'll struggle with no experience and it makes sense as you learn what the issues in your industry are, it's easier to solve those and launch a successful business there. An 18 year old might have loads of time on their hands but usually very little in the way of experience.

 

[DavidePaco00]

Evening fellow fastlaners,

ever since I was a young kid, I've always been interested in people and to be exact, what's the difference between someone incredibly successful like let's say Dwayne Johnson, Andy Frisella or Tony Robbins to a normal Joe Blow on the street who lives a mediocre life with a 9-5 he hates, fat wife, 2 kids and is a pessimist on life? This is a very common thing I see with older individuals, they just have no life. It's like they're a living zombie. Am I the only one who sees that?

If you ask these people why they're not successful, it's always some lame excuse like I wasn't lucky or bad parents etc. Which by the way, are just excuses to justify their lack of achievements. Or they use a cloud and say that "it doesn't matter" when it clearly mattered to them at some point.

Mark Cuban said it perfectly in one interview: "Lack of brains, lack of effort". Whereas Andy Frisella says that there are 3 things that helped him: do the work, do it over time and learn from your mistakes. You do these 3 things and you'll be incredibly successful.

For you who are already very successful entrepreneurs, what is the main reason in your opinion on why people fail or stay mediocre?

NOTE: There is nothing wrong with being average, the world needs those people as well. We need people to join our systems. We need people to work at Walmart or someone who's gonna wash my Lambo. And that's ok.

From my experience(even though I've been in the game for 2 years and aren't anywhere near where I want to be), I can see success or failure patterns relatively quickly. Here are some of them:

Successful traits:
1. Incredible discipline doing the work NO matter how they feel. Of course, discipline doing the right thing aka the right habits.
2. Always learns new things, never stops learning. Has an open mind. This is something that never ceases to amaze me with bigger companies.
3. Tries new things, even if they're uncomfortable as hell. Things like cold calling, running long distances, workouts in the rain, asks a very hot girl out on a date when all the other guys don't have the guts.
4. Never gives up. Even if something doesn't work for the 1000th time, they find a way to make it happen.
5. Invests way more than what they consume. Of course, everybody consumes. Point is, you want to get to a point where you're so wealthy that spending money on a $400k car is nothing to you when you got $15m in the bank. They put their business or their thing over everything else.
6. Spends his/her time around other like minded people. One of the most important things a person can do.

Failure traits:
1. Bad social circle. Probably the biggest reason why people never make it. We're told to be "realistic" and live like everybody else.
2. Procrastination. That's a BIG ONE! Done it myself many times in the past.
3. Gives up after a little bit of effort. That persons sends only 10 emails and says it doesn't work or goes to the gym once and says the gym is not for me...
4. Closed mind. Never reads or educates himself/herself on new things.
5. Consumes more than what they make. The pretenders. We call them $30k or $40k millionaires. Someone who makes $50k-$60k a year and pretends he has a $60k-$70k lifestyle. Pretty common.
6. Stays in her/his comfort zone because it's not for "me".


Any other that come to your mind?

EDIT:

Succes trait => Invests their time because they understand the power of compounding their skills and knowledge.
Failure trait => Wastes time on useless shit.

I was listening to a podcast the other day when finally something resonated to me.

People quit because of EXPECTATION.

They set goals that are too high and they wanna reach it in an unfeaseable timeframe.

They wanna reach the top of the building with the helycopter, without taking the stairs.

They want the results without going through the process of learning, failing, trying anything in life require to be great at.

This is the only reason why people quit.

Of course people make excuses, blaming the circumstances.

" I don't I have time for this!"

" I don't have energy!"

How do You fix this?

Sleep better,

Eat better,

Exercises More

Get rid of toxic people.

Toxic people lead to toxic thoughts.

Now, You put Mike Tyson into a ballet class, You'll never get Iron Mike... (He had good footwork tho)

You should make enough experiences to discover what Your passion is.

Passion doesn't give You money, it makes You Money-Maker.

Passion makes You consistent ,

It makes you disciplined,

It makes You tenacious

It makes You go through pain.

Follow Your Passion and Enjoy the Process , my friend.

Until next time,

Davide.

 

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[Kevin88660]

Evening fellow fastlaners,

ever since I was a young kid, I've always been interested in people and to be exact, what's the difference between someone incredibly successful like let's say Dwayne Johnson, Andy Frisella or Tony Robbins to a normal Joe Blow on the street who lives a mediocre life with a 9-5 he hates, fat wife, 2 kids and is a pessimist on life? This is a very common thing I see with older individuals, they just have no life. It's like they're a living zombie. Am I the only one who sees that?

If you ask these people why they're not successful, it's always some lame excuse like I wasn't lucky or bad parents etc. Which by the way, are just excuses to justify their lack of achievements. Or they use a cloud and say that "it doesn't matter" when it clearly mattered to them at some point.

Mark Cuban said it perfectly in one interview: "Lack of brains, lack of effort". Whereas Andy Frisella says that there are 3 things that helped him: do the work, do it over time and learn from your mistakes. You do these 3 things and you'll be incredibly successful.

For you who are already very successful entrepreneurs, what is the main reason in your opinion on why people fail or stay mediocre?

NOTE: There is nothing wrong with being average, the world needs those people as well. We need people to join our systems. We need people to work at Walmart or someone who's gonna wash my Lambo. And that's ok.

From my experience(even though I've been in the game for 2 years and aren't anywhere near where I want to be), I can see success or failure patterns relatively quickly. Here are some of them:

Successful traits:
1. Incredible discipline doing the work NO matter how they feel. Of course, discipline doing the right thing aka the right habits.
2. Always learns new things, never stops learning. Has an open mind. This is something that never ceases to amaze me with bigger companies.
3. Tries new things, even if they're uncomfortable as hell. Things like cold calling, running long distances, workouts in the rain, asks a very hot girl out on a date when all the other guys don't have the guts.
4. Never gives up. Even if something doesn't work for the 1000th time, they find a way to make it happen.
5. Invests way more than what they consume. Of course, everybody consumes. Point is, you want to get to a point where you're so wealthy that spending money on a $400k car is nothing to you when you got $15m in the bank. They put their business or their thing over everything else.
6. Spends his/her time around other like minded people. One of the most important things a person can do.

Failure traits:
1. Bad social circle. Probably the biggest reason why people never make it. We're told to be "realistic" and live like everybody else.
2. Procrastination. That's a BIG ONE! Done it myself many times in the past.
3. Gives up after a little bit of effort. That persons sends only 10 emails and says it doesn't work or goes to the gym once and says the gym is not for me...
4. Closed mind. Never reads or educates himself/herself on new things.
5. Consumes more than what they make. The pretenders. We call them $30k or $40k millionaires. Someone who makes $50k-$60k a year and pretends he has a $60k-$70k lifestyle. Pretty common.
6. Stays in her/his comfort zone because it's not for "me".


Any other that come to your mind?

EDIT:

Succes trait => Invests their time because they understand the power of compounding their skills and knowledge.
Failure trait => Wastes time on useless shit.

It is a question to broad to stereotype.

Most people never thought of what they really want in life and more or less operate on “familiar bench mark”.

This is means that if your childhood friends are drug addicts and prison inmates you will be very proud that you are working a 9-5 job.

Suddenly you found your elementary school on facebook friend who used to be the dumb kid in class, now has become a doctor/lawyer/millionaire businessman, a quick moment of depressive feeling starts to kick in.

The more you hold yourself to higher standard the better results you will get.

The point of the common advice to surround yourself with “5 best people” is to get the feeling of inadequacy working at maximum.

 

[DavidePaco00]

It is a question to broad to stereotype.

Most people never thought of what they really want in life and more or less operate on “familiar bench mark”.

This is means that if your childhood friends are drug addicts and prison inmates you will be very proud that you are working a 9-5 job.

Suddenly you found your elementary school on facebook friend who used to be the dumb kid in class, now has become a doctor/lawyer/millionaire businessman, a quick moment of depressive feeling starts to kick in.

The more you hold yourself to higher standard the better results you will get.

The point of the common advice to surround yourself with “5 best people” is to get the feeling of inadequacy working maximum.

Be humble to learn from Your mistakes, be cheerfull to celebrate from Your improvements.

Holding Yourself to High standard put You always in a place of self improvement, which is essential to build the life that You want

You should also be content from who You are right now, Otherwise You will never enjoy the present moment, which is the only thing You have.

Focus on what You have achieved, not what You miss, otheriwise You'll never feel content.

Of course You can always do More, but never forget where You come from.

Every day You should make baby steps toward Your Goal. You'll never be satisfied if You project Your Happinessin the future.


As MJ said:

" Success is a process, not an event".


Hope that helps,

Davide

 

[Kevin88660]

Be humble to learn from Your mistakes, be cheerfull to celebrate from Your improvements.

Holding Yourself to High standard put You always in a place of self improvement, which is essential to build the life that You want

You should also be content from who You are right now, Otherwise You will never enjoy the present moment, which is the only thing You have.

Focus on what You have achieved, not what You miss, otheriwise You'll never feel content.

Of course You can always do More, but never forget where You come from.

Every day You should make baby steps toward Your Goal. You'll never be satisfied if You project Your Happinessin the future.


As MJ said:

" Success is a process, not an event".


Hope that helps,

Davide

Depends on the stage of life you are right now.

If you feel that you deserve much more, it is good to be focused on getting what you don’t have.

After all the OP is asking what makes people having versus losing the drive to pursue success.

A lot of times it is just envy of others having what you don’t have. But you won’t see people admitting that because that’s not a political correct thought that should be celebrated.

So if you are caught losing the motivation it is a good way to get things started again. Back to focus on what others have but you don’t.

 

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[ethan34]

Any other that come to your mind?

Successful people also seem to not follow other people's lives. Never seen a 'day in the life' video of someone successful where they spend time watching 'day in the life' videos. Which is why I stopped watching them.