This makes me sound a bit crazy, but it's true.

[Tommy92l]

My neighbors that have lived next to me for the past 10 years have been the nicest people I've ever known in my life.

In the films you see someone walking down the street and waving to each and every one of their neighbors, knowing each one by first and last name as they happily reply with a big smile and wave!

Well, in my case, most of the people who've lived here before/after us, weren't like that... they didn't really "Communicate", and you never got to know them. Except for this family I'm writing about.

Anyway, today was the last day of moving stuff out of their house that had been foreclosed on.

Let me tell you something

- If you have never been foreclosed on, or never seen it first hand. It's horrible. HORRIBLE.

It's not like you're moving to a bigger and better place, no - the "Get the F*ck out" stop watch has been set, so pack your shit, and leave. The place you used to call home is tainted, and no longer yours.

So, 10 years is a long time, and I'm still sitting here staring at their house from mine, thinking "This cannot be real. Is it?".

As kids, we'd play on the trampoline out back... they didn't take the trampoline. So it sits quietly underneath a series of trees in the field behind the house. Knowing how many memories I've had there are all just encapsulated by this one simple object. It's not a bitter sweet memory though, it's just plain sad. If they'd moved normally, sure - bitter sweet. Seeing people get kicked out? Surreal... spooky... pathetic... almost tragic.

It simply doesn't feel real. Almost when you have a bad dream and wake up. Although you realize it was a dream, the bad feeling still lingers for a bit after before it fades. Well, I've been stuck with that feeling for a while.

What really made me sad was seeing the parents. You always look up to your parents when you're younger as if to say "What can go wrong? They've got it under control!". And just to see your parents lose control must be so demoralizing, it's terrible.


So, I thought about it today.... my goals have always been something along the lines of "A huge house!" or "That 458 italia, brand new!".

But now my mind has changed so much, it scares me. Not only do I want to work way harder than I have been now... but my new goal has changed to, one day having enough money to buy them their house back.


I already know the logical, and common responses I'll get in this thread. - It was their fault, chances are that if you were to fix it, it would only happen again. It's not your responsibility!


Now please keep in mind, the thought of telling someone this would be laughable, because right now my idea is going as planned, but it still hasn't blown up into huge money... it will take time!

Anyway, have any of you ever had a scenario like this? Suddenly the expensive watches, fast cars, and huge houses fade... and I wish I could make a large amount of money to buy them their house back.

Crazy, I know. But I felt I'd write about it here to get some thoughts.

EDIT: Also, don't think of this post as a "Hey man, that's really nice of you! Have fun with reality". No, I don't wanna be one of those people that speak of all the great things they could do with the money they'll never have.

I wanna do this, I mean I want to make this money and make things better. My work has been paying off so much it's amazing. It may be small scale, but you start somewhere....

I dunno, but whoever says money doesn't make things easier is out of their mind.

 

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[santa]

It's funny what can motivate us. There is another thread I saw recently where the OP talks about lessons he gained in the 1st few days of owning an exotic car. It was a good thread, with some saliant anecdotes.
But, the amount of people that posted in that thread was pretty phenominal...and the exotic car part certainly played a part.

Anyway, have any of you ever had a scenario like this? Suddenly the expensive watches, fast cars, and huge houses fade...

Different things can motivate us to want to increase our 'wealth'...sometimes it can be the carrot..such as owning expensive toys, but we can also be motivated by the stick....from pain in our own lives or of others....it can be a powerful driver too
I wrote about what motivated me for 'wealth' here;
https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/showthread.php/42295-Wealth-Success-Story

But even before the above experience, I personally have always wanted to get to a position where I could help contribute to society in some specific ways. Still, $ was never really a short or medium term driver until I was in the situation in that thread...it was always something I'd build up to for when I was in my 60s. But the 'pain' was so much, and knowing that better resources could of made things so much easier was mind altering....

For me, it becomes like an expanding circle, (what was termed as the 'circle of influence in Stephen Covey's 7 habits of highly successful people). I want to have enough to take care of myself and close ones, and then be in a situation where I can leverage skills and resources to work in certain businesses or community projects. For example, in that thread I posted a video of bad care homes for the elderly, and I have thought of that as a potential area I could get into, *if I get to the level I eventually want to*....creating quality homes and communal structures for those in the final years of their lives....they are often a neglected part of society. Similar with 'stray' kids who could do with some mentoring/adopting etc etc

I should also say though, that if anything, I've realized I need to be MORE selfish, at least at this stage of my life. And get my own house in order first

 

[Daniel A]

Anyway, have any of you ever had a scenario like this?

When I was 15 y/o my parent's house got foreclosed, I moved to a different city and to a different high school. My GF at the time left me (after being together for a year plus) and about a year after all that my parents got divorced...and we moved again.

I feel like it took a lot of time away from me. When I reflect on it I don't get emotional at all, because I got over it, getting over it all took a lot of time and energy though. I feel like that was the big waste, but there is most likely several benefits I got from it when thinking about the big picture.

That is probably why becoming wealthy is so important to me. If I really do decide to start a family of my own too, I'm going to have my financial situation handled and they'll be raised much better.

The story of many young people in the USA for sure. Especially during the housing bubble. A lot of people my age at that time went through the same thing.

In our society money has become one of the most important part of our lives, having it makes things much easier. You can choose whatever you want to do with it (even if you have millions or billions). People can choose to do what you are saying...which is not 'evil'. I really want to understand the hatred and fear towards money more.

 

[RogueInnovation]

Shit, thats heavy.

Its provocative though. To think about how our lack of cash leads to real events around us.
I suppose it is the disillusionment of the slowlane dream.
Nursery homes, foreclosures, illness and not having the money to pay for the best.

I have some ticking time bombs connected to me. My parents, my siblings, some medical expenses for them, children.
I try not to think about it, because in reality, all I can do is here, and right now (I'm going as fast as I can).

What makes this worse for me is that I had to break free of those time bombs, in order to have a chance to ever be in a position to help out and not be dragged under by the drowning man.


We all have a shark at our back.
The thing is to do due diligence, and tighten your process, because you can't stop it if you don't make something.

 

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[Runum]

But now my mind has changed so much, it scares me. Not only do I want to work way harder than I have been now... but my new goal has changed to, one day having enough money to buy them their house back.


I already know the logical, and common responses I'll get in this thread. - It was their fault, chances are that if you were to fix it, it would only happen again. It's not your responsibility!

There is nothing wrong with thinking about others and wanting to help them. It is actually a sign of growing up to realize life isn't just all about you.

I hope you meet this goal, for what it will do for you, and for the help you can give others.

 

[JAJT]

What really made me sad was seeing the parents. You always look up to your parents when you're younger as if to say "What can go wrong? They've got it under control!". And just to see your parents lose control must be so demoralizing, it's terrible.

If you want a little silver lining... I've lost exact count but I moved houses somewhere around 9 times before I was 10 years old due to money/job issues my parents had.

I lost faith in my parent's ability at a very young age. It was by far the single most important motivating factor for me - to be better than where I came from. I always felt very strongly that "If I do nothing, this is my fate".

Ever since I was a kid my guiding star was "don't do what the people around me are doing". When I was told something - I double checked it against facts. I received a lot of advice but acted on very little of it - most of it made no sense to me, even at a young age.

Not all kids get demoralized by this stuff. Some learn something valuable and never look back.

 

[Vigilante]

A simple objective for readers is your provocative post is what MJ describes as the element of control.

Navigate yourself into a position where you cannot lose the element of control.

I met a Vice President of Best Buy one time whose annual salary equaled the value of his home.

Everyone always wondered why the guy didn't buy a larger home. He could afford it. The world told him to do it.

Then, he lost his job. THEN HE LOST --- HIS --- JOB.

But… he kept his home. HE KEPT HIS HOME. Because he lived way below his means.

Everything is relative. If you "buy" a home, and like most people you are indebted to a mortgage company, you don't "own" the home.

A turn of the tide and it can be ripped away from you. The banks that patted you on the back the day they took your down payment now rush to the steps of the courthouse for a sheriff's sale.

During a downturn several years ago, we almost lost our home to foreclosure. The papers were filed. Only due to careful legal maneuvering did we avoid the date that was on the calendar. The sale was scheduled. The papers were filed. The notices were given. One was posted… on the door of our home. I ripped it down before my children saw it.

It's a helpless, empty, embarrassing desolation. At the end of a long day, you always know you can go "home" right? Not in that case. In that case, the sheriff may post a notice on your house that it is about to be ripped from your finger tips. The oasis you had from the storms in your life might become the single thing that now keeps you awake at 3AM. The safe harbor. The one thing that women in particular gain a sense of security from. The very roof over your head ripped off.

While it is not the end of the world, it may feel as if it is. The tree swing you pushed your baby on now is a sad memory stealing the place of the once happy one. Life kicks you straight in the stomach until you feel as if you cannot breathe. They might publish your name in the local paper, that nobody sees but you know it is there and assume the whole world does as well.

You're scared. You look down a dark tunnel and you don't see a light on the other side. Bad things just got worse. You can no longer shield your family, figuratively and literally.

That's what happens when you lose the element of control.

I hope none of you reading this message ever experience that pit of desolation. It is completely avoidable and is a result of decisions you make.

 

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[Lagron]

People think of that pit of desolation and yet they make those dumb decisions.

If I only knew how to stop such.

If I can only help the world...

It is a reward system gentlemen!
It is a reward system ladies!

You get what you deserve, what you deserve depends on what you do to obtain the money you have, can you afford it (buy it without looking at the price tag)? Then take it, if you cant, then don't buy it!

Living below your means is a necessity.
It is taught here if I am not mistaken.


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[Lagron]

I do wish you luck on your goals, but dammit, take action.


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