Andy Black
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Someone asked for tips about becoming a better conversationalist.
I'll start by saying I wasn't always a good conversationalist, and was in fact excruciatingly shy in school and college.
I got better as I got older, and especially when I realised everyone is in their own little bubble where they mostly only care about their own hopes, dreams, and fears.
I realised no-one cares about me in particular, but most people are friendly. So if I say a cheery "How's it going?" as a greeting when I walk past people then they often say hello back.
Getting over yourself and not thinking about yourself helps a lot, and this makes everything in life and business easier too.
Getting comfortable with small talk can help you get started.
You can practice small talk in shops and with waiters who are often surprised people speak *to* them. Give them something to latch onto that's easy to answer.
A cheery "How's it going? Nearly the weekend eh?" to someone on a till could have them saying "Yeah, roll on Saturday!" or "Yeah, but I still have to work this weekend." Then you can mumble in agreement and the exchange is over. The trick is to not overdo the conversation or force it when it's not going anywhere. Take the cue from them. Some are relieved to speak to someone and will then say something to keep the conversation going. Some won't and that's ok. You could have brightened up someone's day by just being a friendly face ... and never underestimate the effect this could have.
As for conversations themselves... make it about *them*. I believe every person alive is passionate something and also stressed or worried about something. My job is not to ferret either out, but that belief makes me observe and listen more closely.
Active listening is the most important part of being a good conversationalist. As the saying goes, "To be interesting be interested."
Other ways to get good is to talk to older people. They figured a lot of this out and are happy to give others the limelight.
Conversation and communication was brought up in a recent call. I believe it was somewhere in the middle? I'll find the timestamp later.
Here's that call:
www.thefastlaneforum.com
And here's a chat with @xShepherdx about (my thoughts on) the role of conversation in business and sales:
www.thefastlaneforum.com
Curious what your thoughts and advice are.
I'll start by saying I wasn't always a good conversationalist, and was in fact excruciatingly shy in school and college.
I got better as I got older, and especially when I realised everyone is in their own little bubble where they mostly only care about their own hopes, dreams, and fears.
I realised no-one cares about me in particular, but most people are friendly. So if I say a cheery "How's it going?" as a greeting when I walk past people then they often say hello back.
Getting over yourself and not thinking about yourself helps a lot, and this makes everything in life and business easier too.
Getting comfortable with small talk can help you get started.
You can practice small talk in shops and with waiters who are often surprised people speak *to* them. Give them something to latch onto that's easy to answer.
A cheery "How's it going? Nearly the weekend eh?" to someone on a till could have them saying "Yeah, roll on Saturday!" or "Yeah, but I still have to work this weekend." Then you can mumble in agreement and the exchange is over. The trick is to not overdo the conversation or force it when it's not going anywhere. Take the cue from them. Some are relieved to speak to someone and will then say something to keep the conversation going. Some won't and that's ok. You could have brightened up someone's day by just being a friendly face ... and never underestimate the effect this could have.
As for conversations themselves... make it about *them*. I believe every person alive is passionate something and also stressed or worried about something. My job is not to ferret either out, but that belief makes me observe and listen more closely.
Active listening is the most important part of being a good conversationalist. As the saying goes, "To be interesting be interested."
Other ways to get good is to talk to older people. They figured a lot of this out and are happy to give others the limelight.
Conversation and communication was brought up in a recent call. I believe it was somewhere in the middle? I'll find the timestamp later.
Here's that call:
NOTABLE! - HOT! - MEETUPS - [TFLF Call Replay] - For teens & students getting started
Hi all. @Lawtiti (who changed his forum name to @Chet Shen) created a Meetup Thread a few days ago and had a Zoom call with @ZCP who gave advice on getting started etc. I offered to do a Zoom where I'll go through some of the main things I think holds people back when getting started, and how...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
And here's a chat with @xShepherdx about (my thoughts on) the role of conversation in business and sales:
MARKETING - A chat about selling marketing services
@xShepherdx posted last week about his frustrations hiring a marketing freelancer. We've never spoken but I offered to hop on a call and chat about it. If you watch then please add your notes and I'll add them to this opening post. What's your takeaways? What will you do different going...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
Curious what your thoughts and advice are.
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