Andy Black
Help people. Get paid. Help more people.
Staff member
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
LEGACY MEMBER
Someone asked for tips about becoming a better conversationalist.
I'll start by saying I wasn't always a good conversationalist, and was in fact excruciatingly shy in school and college.
I got better as I got older, and especially when I realised everyone is in their own little bubble where they mostly only care about their own hopes, dreams, and fears.
I realised no-one cares about me in particular, but most people are friendly. So if I say a cheery "How's it going?" as a greeting when I walk past people then they often say hello back.
Getting over yourself and not thinking about yourself helps a lot, and this makes everything in life and business easier too.
Getting comfortable with small talk can help you get started.
You can practice small talk in shops and with waiters who are often surprised people speak *to* them. Give them something to latch onto that's easy to answer.
A cheery "How's it going? Nearly the weekend eh?" to someone on a till could have them saying "Yeah, roll on Saturday!" or "Yeah, but I still have to work this weekend." Then you can mumble in agreement and the exchange is over. The trick is to not overdo the conversation or force it when it's not going anywhere. Take the cue from them. Some are relieved to speak to someone and will then say something to keep the conversation going. Some won't and that's ok. You could have brightened up someone's day by just being a friendly face ... and never underestimate the effect this could have.
As for conversations themselves... make it about *them*. I believe every person alive is passionate something and also stressed or worried about something. My job is not to ferret either out, but that belief makes me observe and listen more closely.
Active listening is the most important part of being a good conversationalist. As the saying goes, "To be interesting be interested."
Other ways to get good is to talk to older people. They figured a lot of this out and are happy to give others the limelight.
Conversation and communication was brought up in a recent call. I believe it was somewhere in the middle? I'll find the timestamp later.
Here's that call:
www.thefastlaneforum.com
And here's a chat with @xShepherdx about (my thoughts on) the role of conversation in business and sales:
www.thefastlaneforum.com
Curious what your thoughts and advice are.
I'll start by saying I wasn't always a good conversationalist, and was in fact excruciatingly shy in school and college.
I got better as I got older, and especially when I realised everyone is in their own little bubble where they mostly only care about their own hopes, dreams, and fears.
I realised no-one cares about me in particular, but most people are friendly. So if I say a cheery "How's it going?" as a greeting when I walk past people then they often say hello back.
Getting over yourself and not thinking about yourself helps a lot, and this makes everything in life and business easier too.
Getting comfortable with small talk can help you get started.
You can practice small talk in shops and with waiters who are often surprised people speak *to* them. Give them something to latch onto that's easy to answer.
A cheery "How's it going? Nearly the weekend eh?" to someone on a till could have them saying "Yeah, roll on Saturday!" or "Yeah, but I still have to work this weekend." Then you can mumble in agreement and the exchange is over. The trick is to not overdo the conversation or force it when it's not going anywhere. Take the cue from them. Some are relieved to speak to someone and will then say something to keep the conversation going. Some won't and that's ok. You could have brightened up someone's day by just being a friendly face ... and never underestimate the effect this could have.
As for conversations themselves... make it about *them*. I believe every person alive is passionate something and also stressed or worried about something. My job is not to ferret either out, but that belief makes me observe and listen more closely.
Active listening is the most important part of being a good conversationalist. As the saying goes, "To be interesting be interested."
Other ways to get good is to talk to older people. They figured a lot of this out and are happy to give others the limelight.
Conversation and communication was brought up in a recent call. I believe it was somewhere in the middle? I'll find the timestamp later.
Here's that call:
NOTABLE! - HOT! - MEETUPS - [TFLF Call Replay] - For teens & students getting started
Hi all. @Lawtiti (who changed his forum name to @Chet Shen) created a Meetup Thread a few days ago and had a Zoom call with @ZCP who gave advice on getting started etc. I offered to do a Zoom where I'll go through some of the main things I think holds people back when getting started, and how...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
And here's a chat with @xShepherdx about (my thoughts on) the role of conversation in business and sales:
MARKETING - A chat about selling marketing services
@xShepherdx posted last week about his frustrations hiring a marketing freelancer. We've never spoken but I offered to hop on a call and chat about it. If you watch then please add your notes and I'll add them to this opening post. What's your takeaways? What will you do different going...
www.thefastlaneforum.com
Curious what your thoughts and advice are.
Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member:
Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)
Membership Required: Upgrade to Expose Nearly 1,000,000 Posts
Ready to Unleash the Millionaire Entrepreneur in You?
Become a member of the Fastlane Forum, the private community founded by best-selling author and multi-millionaire entrepreneur MJ DeMarco. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has poured his heart and soul into the Fastlane Forum, helping entrepreneurs reclaim their time, win their financial freedom, and live their best life.
With more than 39,000 posts packed with insights, strategies, and advice, you’re not just a member—you’re stepping into MJ’s inner-circle, a place where you’ll never be left alone.
Become a member and gain immediate access to...
- Active Community: Ever join a community only to find it DEAD? Not at Fastlane! As you can see from our home page, life-changing content is posted dozens of times daily.
- Exclusive Insights: Direct access to MJ DeMarco’s daily contributions and wisdom.
- Powerful Networking Opportunities: Connect with a diverse group of successful entrepreneurs who can offer mentorship, collaboration, and opportunities.
- Proven Strategies: Learn from the best in the business, with actionable advice and strategies that can accelerate your success.
"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most..."
Who are you surrounding yourself with? Surround yourself with millionaire success. Join Fastlane today!
Join Today
