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Should your life change as you get older?

biophase

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Looking back 5, 10 or even 15 years ago... my life is pretty much the same. Just different place, different people, same ole me. LOL

I don't know if that's a good thing or not but for some reason I feel more guilty living the same way now as I did 15 years ago. But why should I? Is it because there is no sense of accomplishment when you're older, but when you're younger it's ok because you don't have that "career" job yet.

Here's what I used to do in my early 20's.
(Lived at home with parents)
Wake up
Go to work
Work out
Play basketball
Eat
Sleep

Mid 20's
Wake up
Go to work
Work out
-- home improvement
-- play basketball
Eat
Sleep

30's
Wake up
Go to work
Work out
-- home improvement
-- play basketball
-- invest in real estate
Eat
Sleep

Now
Wake up
Sort of go to work
-- home improvement
-- play basketball
-- invest in real estate
------- golf (slowly creeping onto this list)
Eat
Sleep
 
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AroundTheWorld

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Live your Life in Chapters

20 - 25.

Pregnant or nursing every single day for five years... lol.

and of course, chasing the toddlers around.

oh, and going to college.

25 - 30

Starting a Business - when not chasing kids around.

oh, and going to college... (I was on the ten year plan. Tends to happen when you - uh - can't figure out what causes pregnancy :eek:)

30 - present.

REI
Homeschooling my kids


Its funny. When I look at it that way, it doesn't seem to have changed too much ... family life and something on the side. But, the something on the side has drastically changed. First, school. Then, business. Now, REI - and really... I'm leaning toward business again.

A few years back, I read something in a book that has really shaped the way I live my life...

"Live your life in chapters. You don't need to accomplish everything during this chapter of rearing children"

While this really does help people juggling family life with work/money/business/investing/whatever it has actually helped me in accomplishing my "outside of the family" ambitions. I have a desire to:

build a business
REI
Write a book
Be a social entrepreneur
Travel the world
etc. etc.

But, I can't get them all done at once. So, I live my life in chapters.

Chapter one: Get a degree
Chapter two: build a business
Chapter three: obtain financial independence

This is where I am now.

Next chapters will be... (subject to change)

Chapter four: Be a social entrepreneur
Chapter five: Travel the world
Chapter six: write a book.

Though, I think these three will sort of mesh together.
 

Russ H

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Sonya (Around the World)-

With some of what I've seen you write on your blog, I'd consider bumping the writing timeline up a little.

As a new parent, I enjoy reading your "a-has". :)

The kitten story was particularly insightful.

Good stuff.

Very publishable.

Ever read Anne Lamont?

-Russ H.
 

Russ H

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Oops-- got sidetracked.

To answer the question:

Yeah, my life has gone in stages:

Age 9-18 Worked at becoming a doctor

18- Got accepted into Med School straight out of high school (no Doogie Howser jokes, please)

21- Decided I didn't want to be a doctor (which sucked a bit, after spending most of my life working towards this). I prefer to look at this as I went through mid-life crisis at 21.

21-22 - Took a year off of med school, at the request of the Dean, who didn't want me to look back with regret.

Have never regretted not going back.:hurray:

Had been working my way through med school by working full time as a salesperson in a hifi store, and installing home and commercial music systems on the side.

22-23 - Finished up enough stuff to get a BS in Psychology (truly appropriate, give the head sessions I'd been going through)

23 - Sold most of what I owned, and moved to California with $276, a 14' travel trailer, a 200cc bike, and an old station wagon. The station wagon blew up in Cheyenne, WY. Rented another station wagon, drilled a hole in the bumper, put on the hitch, and drove the rest of the way to San Francsico

23-28 Worked at a hifi store and lived in Marin County. Met some of my favorite rock stars (they were my customers). Amazing for a guy who just moved out from the midwest and didn't know what to do with his life.

28-38- Really started to build my home theater and custom music biz. Co-founded a trade association called CEDIA (Custom Electronic Design and Installation Association). Made lots of money. Got famous. Never planned, or wanted, the fame. But it was fun. Worked with most of my lifelong heroes (Dolby Labs, Lucasfilm THX, Paramount Studios, Kenwood USA, rock stars, captains of industry). Had billionaires and other fun folks for clients (Disney, Alex Trebek, Phil Lesh, and the president of MTV just a few examples).

32- Read "Your Money or Your Life" (Dominguez/Robin). Definitely changed my life re financial independence and long term goals. Started to plan for leaving the rat race.

34- Read Suze Orman (when her first book came out), and worked at doing this.

38/9- Read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", and my universe changed.

41- Played Cashflow.

42- Played Cashflow 101 in San Francisco. Another universe change.

40-46 (present day) Got married, had a kid.

*************

Some thoughts:

40 was my "big" year. Turning 20, or 30, never meant anything to me. But the big 4-Oh was a mind bender.

Made me ask myself what I was gonna do with the rest of my life.

Read a book that said: Pretend you're 85 years old. You look back at your life, and ask 2 questions:

1. What do I regret NOT doing?

2. What do I regret DOING? (i.e, what did I do that, in hindsight, was a waste of time?)

The next day, I disconnected my TV cable. With just a few exceptions, haven't watched TV since (still watch lotsa movies, though :).

The thing I regretted NOT doing, at 80?

Not having a family.

So I started working on that.

Met lots of gals, spent lots of nights online (for a shy guy like me, was a perfect way to meet the ladies). Had some very cool relationships with like-minded ladies with their heads in the same place mine was (that was the great thing about online stuff-- it helped eliminate the eye candy and allowed me to focus on finding a soul buddy).

Had a lot of fun, met some amazing women. Found a keeper (actually, she found me).

Since '00, started w/1 house ($40K equity) and built that (today) into $3.5 million in equity. Business income $750K+ per year currently. Will be over $900K next year, and well over $1.5 million the next (as our largest development project goes on line)

Could have cashed out and left the rat race in 2005 (when I was 44) w/$100K/yr passive income.

Decided to take it to the next level instead.

Plan on retiring by 50 to fully devote my time to being a great dad.

Should have $200-250K/yr in totally passive income by then (in 30 year Treasuries).

So far, so good. :)

-Russ H.
 
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AroundTheWorld

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Sonya (Around the World)-

With some of what I've seen you write on your blog, I'd consider bumping the writing timeline up a little.

As a new parent, I enjoy reading your "a-has". :)

The kitten story was particularly insightful.

Good stuff.

Very publishable.

Ever read Anne Lamont?

-Russ H.

:p

Aw shucks. Thanks Russ.
No, I've never read her. I'll have to look her up.

My problem is many ideas and no direction... what do I write about?

Achieving Financial Freedom with a Family?
Homeschooling?


I have little bits of 100 different ideas and topics and I just can't quite organize my ideas into an actual BOOK... scarry. MJ, how do you do it?

OH, and nice to see you here Russ-and-family. One of these days I'll have to meet that little one.
 

Russ H

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Sonya-

Just write about what you experience every day with your kids.

Even though lots of parents will not have the same situation, they will be able to relate to your "a-has".

Try to dig up Anne Lamont's "Bird by Bird" story.

Or her saga of moving her son out of her bed, so he could sleep in his room (she's had this story appear in several places).

Sorry you didn't get to see KT. Awful cute, if I do say so myself. ;)

www.ktherschelmann.com

-Russ H.
 

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AroundTheWorld

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Homeschooling is an interesting topic, IMHO.

What's your blog's url?

I added my blog address to my profile.

It is strictly a hobby thing... a place for me to write occasionally. I don't think I've written there in a couple of months... It also has no direction..... LOL. I started as a finance blog, but ended up writing about my kids just as much! Boy, am I scattered :bgh:
 

AroundTheWorld

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Last Hijack - promise...

Even though lots of parents will not have the same situation, they will be able to relate to your "a-has".

Try to dig up Anne Lamont's "Bird by Bird" story.

-Russ H.

Hey Russ.... thanks for the encouragement. I just got bird by bird in the mail. Have been setting aside a little time every day for writing.

I owe ya one.... :thankyousign:

:smxA: you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming :smxA:
 

WheelsRCool

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Re: Last Hijack - promise...

biophase, you look pretty young in your picture in the mug thread for being passed your 30s, props.

Aroundtheworld, interesting story, good luck with your business and book.

Also, RussH, WOW, med school right out of high school, you must be a genius! Good luck in your business ventures.

For me, I always try to live by the saying, "Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain
 
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Peter2

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Re: Last Hijack - promise...

For me, I always try to live by the saying, "Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

Right now I live by this saying, "Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now." :)
 

TK1

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Right now I live by this saying, "Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now." :)

Oh man, I stumble again and again over your great words over here - glad they will last on this board forever RIP :hl:
 

TK1

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Oops-- got sidetracked.

To answer the question:

Yeah, my life has gone in stages:

Age 9-18 Worked at becoming a doctor

18- Got accepted into Med School straight out of high school (no Doogie Howser jokes, please)

21- Decided I didn't want to be a doctor (which sucked a bit, after spending most of my life working towards this). I prefer to look at this as I went through mid-life crisis at 21.

21-22 - Took a year off of med school, at the request of the Dean, who didn't want me to look back with regret.

Have never regretted not going back.:hurray:

Had been working my way through med school by working full time as a salesperson in a hifi store, and installing home and commercial music systems on the side.

22-23 - Finished up enough stuff to get a BS in Psychology (truly appropriate, give the head sessions I'd been going through)

23 - Sold most of what I owned, and moved to California with $276, a 14' travel trailer, a 200cc bike, and an old station wagon. The station wagon blew up in Cheyenne, WY. Rented another station wagon, drilled a hole in the bumper, put on the hitch, and drove the rest of the way to San Francsico

23-28 Worked at a hifi store and lived in Marin County. Met some of my favorite rock stars (they were my customers). Amazing for a guy who just moved out from the midwest and didn't know what to do with his life.

28-38- Really started to build my home theater and custom music biz. Co-founded a trade association called CEDIA (Custom Electronic Design and Installation Association). Made lots of money. Got famous. Never planned, or wanted, the fame. But it was fun. Worked with most of my lifelong heroes (Dolby Labs, Lucasfilm THX, Paramount Studios, Kenwood USA, rock stars, captains of industry). Had billionaires and other fun folks for clients (Disney, Alex Trebek, Phil Lesh, and the president of MTV just a few examples).

32- Read "Your Money or Your Life" (Dominguez/Robin). Definitely changed my life re financial independence and long term goals. Started to plan for leaving the rat race.

34- Read Suze Orman (when her first book came out), and worked at doing this.

38/9- Read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", and my universe changed.

41- Played Cashflow.

42- Played Cashflow 101 in San Francisco. Another universe change.

40-46 (present day) Got married, had a kid.

*************

Some thoughts:

40 was my "big" year. Turning 20, or 30, never meant anything to me. But the big 4-Oh was a mind bender.

Made me ask myself what I was gonna do with the rest of my life.

Read a book that said: Pretend you're 85 years old. You look back at your life, and ask 2 questions:

1. What do I regret NOT doing?

2. What do I regret DOING? (i.e, what did I do that, in hindsight, was a waste of time?)

The next day, I disconnected my TV cable. With just a few exceptions, haven't watched TV since (still watch lotsa movies, though :).

The thing I regretted NOT doing, at 80?

Not having a family.

So I started working on that.

Met lots of gals, spent lots of nights online (for a shy guy like me, was a perfect way to meet the ladies). Had some very cool relationships with like-minded ladies with their heads in the same place mine was (that was the great thing about online stuff-- it helped eliminate the eye candy and allowed me to focus on finding a soul buddy).

Had a lot of fun, met some amazing women. Found a keeper (actually, she found me).

Since '00, started w/1 house ($40K equity) and built that (today) into $3.5 million in equity. Business income $750K+ per year currently. Will be over $900K next year, and well over $1.5 million the next (as our largest development project goes on line)

Could have cashed out and left the rat race in 2005 (when I was 44) w/$100K/yr passive income.

Decided to take it to the next level instead.

Plan on retiring by 50 to fully devote my time to being a great dad.

Should have $200-250K/yr in totally passive income by then (in 30 year Treasuries).

So far, so good. :)

-Russ H.

Just crazy :D You should definately write a book
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Wow, an old thread (5 years!) but still relevant.

I can't believe how FAST time moves as you get older. It seems just like yesterday I turned 30. The release of TMF seems like a month ago (actually has been 1+ years now) and one week passes like one day.

In response to the original question, I think as we age, our priorities change with increased wisdom. Age has the great power of forcing you to ponder your mortality and the importance of how we live our lives.

But should we change?

Only if you want too. However, I think age naturally forces change. Ultimately, any change (or lack thereof) will be motivated by our desire to be happy.

So Kenric, has your life changed since the posting of this thread? It looks like you added travel into the mix, but for the most part, it looks the same.
 

lookingahead

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my life so far

8-18

school, work-out, band practice and work

19-21

school, work-out, work my day job, work/learn/study/execute a business.

so far not much, hopefully will be different as I age. Adding in traveling and achieving my dreams.
 

Lights

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I'm born to die, if I don't die this century eventually my being will be destroyed by another life form. Nations are meant to be collapse, and if I am save on some hard-drvie by mind upload, then the alien nations will delete it all with millions of others who manage to escape physical mortality. We only have so much space on this Earth to keep people here, so everyone is going to be in a mega computer... at least those who are afraid of death. The question is, "is this the real me, or is this a copy of me?" I hope to find this answer out when the time comes. I also hope my intelligence will increase ten-fold for me to compete against the evolution of human life, and alien life. Hopefully we are the only species of intelligence life, with x amount of light years apart from others.

Eventually living in a computer will become a bit tiring, since there's only so many adventures we can do.

I also want to change my physical body in the far-away future, before the mind upload begins, for a more younger cyborg form, a body that doesn't need food, or sleep. I want to escape into virtual realities, of lands that only fantasy books could imagine... maybe destroy a Gorgon or two.

Realistically, assuming future technology won't let that happen anytime soon.

I think I am wise as I ever will be at the age of 20. There's no more mystery to life, I kind of did it all, except drugs which I don't want to participate. I truly think religions are bunk, and there is probably no afterlife. I feel like a 100 yr old trapped in a body of a 20 yr old. Slaves, sex, drugs, disease, wars, prostitutes, religions, kings/queens, beauty, money will always matter. People will always try to find a meaning to a non-meaning existence. People will always find a court jester to laugh at, be it a Michael Jackson or a Britney Spears.

I don't care about aging, since I know I will look the same age as I do today, as I will in the year 2030 (possibly younger). I might start seeing the signs of aging after 2040 though for hormonal causes.

The American Dream is dead, this is the start of the end, the world has no barriers now.

I don't plan on having children, probably not a vehicle either, or a permanent home. So basically I see myself enjoying life until I turn to ashes. By time I am 25, I will be a millionaire though. But that means nothing to me, except financial comfort... by time I am 30, I should be a multi-millionaire... I might splurge here and there, but I want to save it so I can escape mortality/body transformations.
 
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Amail

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I also want to change my physical body in the far-away future, before the mind upload begins, for a more younger cyborg form, a body that doesn't need food, or sleep. I want to escape into virtual realities, of lands that only fantasy books could imagine... maybe destroy a Gorgon or two.
You're definitely a trip, Lights! I like your perspective.

I like change. If I'm not changing, I'm stagnant. Stagnation is boring, and I'd just as soon be dead. You'll find lots of people attribute their longevity to "never stop learning". Learning is change. So yes, I think you should always be changing.
 

Lights

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You're definitely a trip, Lights! I like your perspective.

I like change. If I'm not changing, I'm stagnant. Stagnation is boring, and I'd just as soon be dead. You'll find lots of people attribute their longevity to "never stop learning". Learning is change. So yes, I think you should always be changing.

Hmm...

I kind of believe it could happen, but then again I think I'm not going to live to see it
they say it could happen in the next 25 yrs or so, but I think it's going to be another 50
once it happens though, it's going to change everything! The way we look at life here, death, and such..

What will you do with infinite amount of time? and everything is digital, the blind can see again, the deaf can hear... it would be the closest thing to a miracle.

Mind uploading - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Change isn't always good though, you can regress.

http://positivefuturist.com/archive/51.html
 

Era

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I think as people become older, they become different versions of themselves, but yet remain the same. This is why some people grow apart.
 
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RBefort

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I seriously ask myself this question a lot. I look at my peers and think back to where we or they were 5 years ago, 10 years ago. I look at them now and ask, "Will I ever reach that point?" They are all into having kids, some of them going on 5-7 years old and I am 26! I feel there's so much to do before I get married, or even before I have kids. I envision biophase's timeline for myself, with a few other things added in. My girlfriend talks about marriage and settling down, blah blah blah. I'm wondering where this magical "spark" of getting settled comes in? Do I magically wake up one day and feel it? Does it happen after I accomplish so many things and that's just next in the flow of life? On the other hand, I think you just naturally change in some ways. Hell, less than a year ago I was looking forward to the rat race. Now, 7 months into a rat-race job and TMF book, I changed. My gf says I change my mind often, so I guess I am growing and still discovering who I am? I don't see how one can ever become stagnant and not change. So much to do, explore. I'm still somewhat young, so maybe I can figure this all out. Sorry for the nonsensical reply lol.
 

Era

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They are all into having kids, some of them going on 5-7 years old and I am 26! I feel there's so much to do before I get married, or even before I have kids.

RBefort, never be in a rush to make such a life changing decision. Especially settling down. I bet most of your friends rushed into starting a family and secretly would like to trade places with you, just to experience life "before marriage and kids" again, but most would likely never admit that. Do not let your GF talk you into settling down right now. You will know when the time is right when ever that is.

Like the slowlane, marriage and children are the default path....a lot of the younger people that i know who got hitched and had kids too early did so because that's what they were conditioned to do so. Taking time to accomplish their own goals and not settle down too soon was just too foreign to them. Their mindset was "Go to school get a good job, get married, have kids, work for 30-40 years, and then maybe they get to retire and watch their kids repeat that cycle..."
 

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Looking back 5, 10 or even 15 years ago... my life is pretty much the same. Just different place, different people, same ole me. LOL

I don't know if that's a good thing or not but for some reason I feel more guilty living the same way now as I did 15 years ago. But why should I?

I don't see a problem with that. Clearly you are doing what you enjoy doing. That's the whole point of this exercise. As I see it, the problems arise when you are doing things you do not want to do ... or not doing things you would otherwise like to do. So forget about what the "normal" people do ... or how they change over time ... just try to live out the rest of your life as you would like to see it play out.

Mind mapping is good in this respect. Try to figure out what (if anything) you would regret having done ... or having not done ... and then plan the rest of your time accordingly.
 
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The-J

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Is it weird that I actually kind of want to have kids by the time I'm 30?

Seems I'm in the minority on this one here...
 

Russ H

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Oops-- got sidetracked.

To answer the question:

Yeah, my life has gone in stages:

Age 9-18 Worked at becoming a doctor

18- Got accepted into Med School straight out of high school (no Doogie Howser jokes, please)

21- Decided I didn't want to be a doctor (which sucked a bit, after spending most of my life working towards this). I prefer to look at this as I went through mid-life crisis at 21.

21-22 - Took a year off of med school, at the request of the Dean, who didn't want me to look back with regret.

Have never regretted not going back.:hurray:

Had been working my way through med school by working full time as a salesperson in a hifi store, and installing home and commercial music systems on the side.

22-23 - Finished up enough stuff to get a BS in Psychology (truly appropriate, give the head sessions I'd been going through)

23 - Sold most of what I owned, and moved to California with $276, a 14' travel trailer, a 200cc bike, and an old station wagon. The station wagon blew up in Cheyenne, WY. Rented another station wagon, drilled a hole in the bumper, put on the hitch, and drove the rest of the way to San Francsico

23-28 Worked at a hifi store and lived in Marin County. Met some of my favorite rock stars (they were my customers). Amazing for a guy who just moved out from the midwest and didn't know what to do with his life.

28-38- Really started to build my home theater and custom music biz. Co-founded a trade association called CEDIA (Custom Electronic Design and Installation Association). Made lots of money. Got famous. Never planned, or wanted, the fame. But it was fun. Worked with most of my lifelong heroes (Dolby Labs, Lucasfilm THX, Paramount Studios, Kenwood USA, rock stars, captains of industry). Had billionaires and other fun folks for clients (Disney, Alex Trebek, Phil Lesh, and the president of MTV just a few examples).

32- Read "Your Money or Your Life" (Dominguez/Robin). Definitely changed my life re financial independence and long term goals. Started to plan for leaving the rat race.

34- Read Suze Orman (when her first book came out), and worked at doing this.

38/9- Read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", and my universe changed.

41- Played Cashflow.

42- Played Cashflow 101 in San Francisco. Another universe change.

40-46 (present day) Got married, had a kid.

*************

Some thoughts:

40 was my "big" year. Turning 20, or 30, never meant anything to me. But the big 4-Oh was a mind bender.

Made me ask myself what I was gonna do with the rest of my life.

Read a book that said: Pretend you're 85 years old. You look back at your life, and ask 2 questions:

1. What do I regret NOT doing?

2. What do I regret DOING? (i.e, what did I do that, in hindsight, was a waste of time?)

The next day, I disconnected my TV cable. With just a few exceptions, haven't watched TV since (still watch lotsa movies, though :).

The thing I regretted NOT doing, at 80?

Not having a family.

So I started working on that.

Met lots of gals, spent lots of nights online (for a shy guy like me, was a perfect way to meet the ladies). Had some very cool relationships with like-minded ladies with their heads in the same place mine was (that was the great thing about online stuff-- it helped eliminate the eye candy and allowed me to focus on finding a soul buddy).

Had a lot of fun, met some amazing women. Found a keeper (actually, she found me).

Since '00, started w/1 house ($40K equity) and built that (today) into $3.5 million in equity. Business income $750K+ per year currently. Will be over $900K next year, and well over $1.5 million the next (as our largest development project goes on line)

Could have cashed out and left the rat race in 2005 (when I was 44) w/$100K/yr passive income.

Decided to take it to the next level instead.

Plan on retiring by 50 to fully devote my time to being a great dad.

Should have $200-250K/yr in totally passive income by then (in 30 year Treasuries).

So far, so good. :)

-Russ H.

Wow, almost 5 years since my last post on this thread.

Seems like an update is in order.

Sorry I don't spend as much time on these boards anymore. The Great Recession hit us hard, and we've been pretty busy keeping our ship afloat.

For those that have been at the past few B&Ps, I'll have a piece of good news at this year's get together. A few million pieces, actually. :D

-Russ H.
 

AroundTheWorld

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bump. Interesting topic, and fun for those of us that posted back in 07.
I was chatting with a forum member the other day, and observed something funny...

I am 11 years older than he is, and realized that many of his thought processes / priorities / etc. are the exact same things I thought about when I was his age.

He said he notices the same thing when he is chatting with people that are 10 years younger than he is.
 
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andviv

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And yet we dont listen to those older than us that have been in a similar situation...
 

MJ DeMarco

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It made me sad to see Peter2 comment on the thread. Evidence that "growing old" is not even guaranteed. (For newbs: Peter passed away some years ago).

Folks, be happy in your process. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year, but TODAY. Anyone of us can be gone next month. I'm not going out with regrets.
 
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Enki

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It made me sad to see Peter2 comment on the thread. Evidence that "growing old" is not even guaranteed. (For newbs: Peter passed away some years ago).

He had business down to a science. I'd be hard pressed to argue with any advice he gave. From what I understand he was fairly young. I was reading his posts a few weeks ago and had no idea he was gone :(
 

mayana

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It made me sad to see Peter2 comment on the thread. Evidence that "growing old" is not even guaranteed. (For newbs: Peter passed away some years ago).

Folks, be happy in your process. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year, but TODAY. Anyone of us can be gone next month. I'm not going out with regrets.

It actually gave me chills to read this.

Priceless advice. Don't wait until tomorrow, be happy today.

Sent from my Venture using Tapatalk 2
 

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