MJ DeMarco
I followed the science; all I found was money.
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THE 1/2/3 MARRIAGE STRATEGY
Execute 1 Hour, 2 Days, 3 Years Before Marrying
from The Great Rat Race Escape...
You are the CEO of You Inc., not just your business. And one of You Inc’s biggest expenses is getting married.
Even bigger is getting divorced.
Even if you never Unscript or start a business, the following piece of advice is worth 1000X this book’s cost. Here it is: If you want to get married, follow The Rule of 1 Hour, 2 Days, and 3 Years. It will save you a bad marriage, a lot of emotional turmoil, and perhaps a fortune.
THE RULE OF ONE HOUR
Before getting engaged, spend one hour discussing the five relationship killers of failed marriages. They are:
Do you want to take risks as an entrepreneur and live Unscripted while your partner insists that 50 years of Wall Street is the better option? Is your partner a vegetarian who is at the gym five times a week while you’re sitting on the couch eating hot dogs and pizza?
I’m batting perfect when it comes to predicting failed marriages.
Whenever a divergence occurs in the five breakpoints or becomes known, divorce follows. Just some examples I’ve witnessed on the periphery of my life...
1) the wife suddenly shifts to fitness and nutrition while the husband continues a lifestyle of junk food and laziness. She transforms her body and energy levels. The husband does not… divorce...
2) The husband wants to spend discretionary income on entrepreneurial risks while the wife insists on spending every surplus dollar on fashion fads and brands… divorce...
3) The wife wants kids. After four years of marriage, the husband finally confesses he does not… divorce...
No, I’m not psychic, I’ve just old enough to have seen it over and over again.
THE RULE OF TWO DAYS
The Rule of Two Days asks that you must spend two days with your partner in hell before getting married. You must endure each other in the worst of conditions and the most trying of circumstances. For example, my wife and I were once stranded in Belize at a small airport. If you have never been to the airport in Belize, it’s terribly tiny, hot, and lacking basic amenities—for starters, a clean toilet. For the next 48 hours, we had to endure long lines, humidity, mosquitoes the size of hummingbirds, and a temporary overnight stay at a decrepit Days Inn infested with cockroaches. I thank United Airlines for the nightmare! Bottom line, we saw each other at our worst. If you survive trying times, like being stranded in a small town on spring break, it’s a sign she/he may be a keeper.
THE RULE OF THREE YEARS
And finally, The Rule of Three Years asks that you regularly date for at least three years before marriage. And by regular, I mean at least seeing each other several times a week, if not living together. Three years is long enough to witness your partner’s habits, idiosyncrasies, and, more importantly, their change-cycle. If you discussed the five relationship killers in The Rule of One Hour, the three years of dating will prove it. Have you grown together or apart? Are divergences emerging in the discussion from the Rule of One Hour? Moreover, in three years, you will likely experience a situation covering The Rule of Two Days.
Too many young people visit my forum talking about marriage with partners they haven’t known but for one lunar cycle. Are you nuts? What’s the damn rush? If she’s great today, she’ll be great the three years from now. If it’s meant to be, time won’t matter, and neither will a piece of paper from the government. Be patient and be rewarded.
Marriage can be one of the most important decisions of your life. Don’t rush what doesn’t need to be rushed. Meet the 1-2-3 Rules, and I’ll bet your marriage will last a lifetime. Ignore it and pay dearly later.
KEY CONCEPTS
Execute 1 Hour, 2 Days, 3 Years Before Marrying
from The Great Rat Race Escape...
You are the CEO of You Inc., not just your business. And one of You Inc’s biggest expenses is getting married.
Even bigger is getting divorced.
Even if you never Unscript or start a business, the following piece of advice is worth 1000X this book’s cost. Here it is: If you want to get married, follow The Rule of 1 Hour, 2 Days, and 3 Years. It will save you a bad marriage, a lot of emotional turmoil, and perhaps a fortune.
THE RULE OF ONE HOUR
Before getting engaged, spend one hour discussing the five relationship killers of failed marriages. They are:
- Politics
- Religion
- Children
- Career/money
- Diet/Fitness/Nutrition
Do you want to take risks as an entrepreneur and live Unscripted while your partner insists that 50 years of Wall Street is the better option? Is your partner a vegetarian who is at the gym five times a week while you’re sitting on the couch eating hot dogs and pizza?
I’m batting perfect when it comes to predicting failed marriages.
Whenever a divergence occurs in the five breakpoints or becomes known, divorce follows. Just some examples I’ve witnessed on the periphery of my life...
1) the wife suddenly shifts to fitness and nutrition while the husband continues a lifestyle of junk food and laziness. She transforms her body and energy levels. The husband does not… divorce...
2) The husband wants to spend discretionary income on entrepreneurial risks while the wife insists on spending every surplus dollar on fashion fads and brands… divorce...
3) The wife wants kids. After four years of marriage, the husband finally confesses he does not… divorce...
No, I’m not psychic, I’ve just old enough to have seen it over and over again.
THE RULE OF TWO DAYS
The Rule of Two Days asks that you must spend two days with your partner in hell before getting married. You must endure each other in the worst of conditions and the most trying of circumstances. For example, my wife and I were once stranded in Belize at a small airport. If you have never been to the airport in Belize, it’s terribly tiny, hot, and lacking basic amenities—for starters, a clean toilet. For the next 48 hours, we had to endure long lines, humidity, mosquitoes the size of hummingbirds, and a temporary overnight stay at a decrepit Days Inn infested with cockroaches. I thank United Airlines for the nightmare! Bottom line, we saw each other at our worst. If you survive trying times, like being stranded in a small town on spring break, it’s a sign she/he may be a keeper.
THE RULE OF THREE YEARS
And finally, The Rule of Three Years asks that you regularly date for at least three years before marriage. And by regular, I mean at least seeing each other several times a week, if not living together. Three years is long enough to witness your partner’s habits, idiosyncrasies, and, more importantly, their change-cycle. If you discussed the five relationship killers in The Rule of One Hour, the three years of dating will prove it. Have you grown together or apart? Are divergences emerging in the discussion from the Rule of One Hour? Moreover, in three years, you will likely experience a situation covering The Rule of Two Days.
Too many young people visit my forum talking about marriage with partners they haven’t known but for one lunar cycle. Are you nuts? What’s the damn rush? If she’s great today, she’ll be great the three years from now. If it’s meant to be, time won’t matter, and neither will a piece of paper from the government. Be patient and be rewarded.
Marriage can be one of the most important decisions of your life. Don’t rush what doesn’t need to be rushed. Meet the 1-2-3 Rules, and I’ll bet your marriage will last a lifetime. Ignore it and pay dearly later.
KEY CONCEPTS
- Getting married is one of life’s biggest expenses; getting divorced is another.
- Before tying the knot, apply The Rule of 1 Hour, 2 Days, and 3 Years.
- The Rule of 1 Hour is a detailed discussion about “marriage-breaking” topics such as politics, kids, diet, money, and religion.
- The Rule of 2 Days is spending two full days with your future spouse in the most trying of circumstances.
- The Rules of 3 Years means to date a minimum of three years to validate your partner’s Rule of One Hour admissions, as well as their change cycle, if any.
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