Lex DeVille's: 15 Days to Freedom - Make Money Copywriting in 15 Days or Less

[Lex DeVille]

The numbers are probably fairly accurate given the copy.

I was a little unclear about what you were selling from the start.

At first I thought it was landscaping but then it turned into music.

I'm not your target market, so that's why the images are unclear to me, but others might understand.

Who specifically do you want to contact you?

How old are they? What gender?
Why do they have to call? No website?

 

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[chadahr01]

The numbers are probably fairly accurate given the copy.

I was a little unclear about what you were selling from the start.

At first I thought it was landscaping but then it turned into music.

I'm not your target market, so that's why the images are unclear to me, but others might understand.

Who specifically do you want to contact you?

How old are they? What gender?
Why do they have to call? No website?

Thank you for the feedback Lex.

I can see what you're saying about the confusion on what I was selling. The speaker style isn't very common, my target market is probably having similar experiences to yours. I looked over the copy and can see it isn't immediatly clear that it's audio even though it seemed clear to me.

You've given me alot to improve on- in case you're interested

Many/most of my clients are upper middle class or higher. Normally husband/wife, 2.5 kids and 4,000 square' home. Almost all my work is from referral at this point. I deal with the husbands slightly more, although many seem to work alot and the wife handles home stuff.

Alot of times when I'm dealing with people in the same network, they ask what their friends got. They always seem to try to outdo each other. I was trying to get this across without coming out and saying "be the coolest guy on the block". This is what I think they want but I don't know how an in your face message would be received. I would think the wife's would want to know they could operate the system and it will sound good. I tried to address that also.

I set my parameters for 40-65yrs old, both male and female, within my work area.

 

[Wallywest]

Great thread Lex!

I started the Gary Halbert Challenge a few weeks ago and I agree that the non-stop reading is fake action taking, I've gotten started on this and I will read books throughout just to learn more. Below are my 5 headlines, let me know what you guys think.


-The Last Muscle Building Routine You’ll Ever Need, Pack on 15 Pounds of Ripped, Lean Muscle In Just 8-12 Weeks!

-No More Unbearable Barking, Running Away, and Chewed Up Shoes! The Top Ranked Dog Training Course That Molds Your 4-Legged Companion Into A Loving, Obedient Dog.

-Thinner, Stronger, Longer Lasting Porcelain Veneers at A Third Of The Cost!

-Skyrocket Your Credit Score by 100 Points in Only 90 Days!

-The Best Home Study Course That Can Teach Your Child To Read As Early As 3 Months Old, GUARANTEED!

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

Text

Just a quick question... Do you know what you're selling?

 

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[Wallywest]

Just a quick question... Do you know what you're selling?

In regards to the headlines above? Yes each headline is derived from a service I have either used or thought about using.

1. Visual Impact Muscle Building Routine - The first workout program I ever used.

2. In Person Dog Training Course I attended once a week for 8 weeks in my town.

3. Porcelain Veneers I received In Thailand that only costs 1/3 of the price compared to American prices.

4. Credit Score service I used that boosted my score by around 90+ points in 4 months.

5. Home Study Course to teach children to read at a very early age, something I was looking to get once I have kids.

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

In regards to the headlines above? Yes each headline is derived from a service I have either used or thought about using.

1. Visual Impact Muscle Building Routine - The first workout program I ever used.

2. In Person Dog Training Course I attended once a week for 8 weeks in my town.

3. Porcelain Veneers I received In Thailand that only costs 1/3 of the price compared to American prices.

4. Credit Score service I used that boosted my score by around 90+ points in 4 months.

5. Home Study Course to teach children to read at a very early age, something I was looking to get once I have kids.

Actually, you aren't.

1. You are selling a change in someone's life. The workout isn't the actual product.

2. Piece of mind. Not dog training. Good dog = happy owner.

3. Image - Teeth say a lot about a person.

4. Credit score is a joke, you aren't selling them a service, you are selling them a better life. What did those 90 points do for you.

5. People absolutely love showing their kids off. Especially if they are smart. This could be an image thing. It could also be a "plan for their future" kind of thing too.



The main reason why I asked is because when you do the Gary Halbert challenge or re-write some copy, you tend to overlook what's important.
What would you rather have:

A Toyota Supra
or
A roaring, rear tire destroying, 0-100 miles per hour in thirteen seconds flat, Toyota Supra.

You might say it's the same car, but it's what the second car DOES that makes you want that one more.
It's seeing what's in it for them (yourself).

Now...
Why did Gary Halbert make money with the Coat of Arms letters?

 

[Wallywest]

Here is my first ever page of copy...

It sucks but you know what?

It's 1 million times better than not doing anything at all.​

I'm actually really proud of myself that I took the time to write crappy copy instead of reading books non-stop and doing nothing. I've been in sales for so long and I have always trained the new hires to stop reading the script over and over again, but to pick up the phone and sell.

I've preached this for so long but here I was being a hypocrite because I've been too afraid to take action and practice my writing.

I can go on forever about this, but here it is.. Thanks again Lex, I'll keep pushing through your challenge.

The Last Muscle Building Routine You’ll Ever Need! Build 15 Pounds of Ripped, Lean Muscle In Just 8-12 Weeks!​

Do you want to build pounds of lean muscle without adding fat fast?

Do you want that ripped, muscular body that all the famous Hollywood actors have, not the bulky puffy look of body builders?

And do you finally want the attention from women and respect from men you think you deserve?

If you answered YES to these questions, then you’re about to read about the revolutionary work out program that will COMPLETELY change your life.

Let me tell you why…

Guys like yourself that are ready to start building muscle have NO IDEA what they’re doing.

They’ll jump onto weight machines and start doing workouts with no sort of structure.

They’ll see minimal results within the first few weeks and quit after being discouraged.

They’ll over-train endlessly at the gym and then find excuses as to why they don’t have time to workout anymore.

I’m sure you have been in the same boat and the excuses are endless!


That is, until now…

Sixpack Systems focuses on short, high intensity weight lifting sessions that will build optimal muscle and strength gains, while keeping off the fat.​

The workouts are only 45-60 minutes long so no overtraining or never ending sessions.

Tailored to build you well rounded, ripped, lean muscle mass throughout your entire body to give you that Hollywood Actor look.

The perfect diet plan that anyone can use to get top ranked results within 8-12 weeks whether you’re skinny, average, or even fat.

There’s much more, but before I go on let me tell you a bit about myself.

This is me seven years ago…



(Insert picture)​

I was skinny. Had no confidence. Couldn’t get girls. Bullied by bigger guys. Sad. Lonely.

I’m sure you get the picture.

But how did I change?

Well, I had to hit rock bottom first.

The girl of my dreams just left her boyfriend and the first thing she did was call her best friend, me.

“This is it,” I thought, “I finally have a shot.”

She comes over and we talk all night, I comfort her, make her laugh, I do exactly what skinny nice guys do.

And then when I think it’s time to make a move, time to spill out my heart and tell her how I feel, she hits me with this…

“Hey, maybe now that I’m single I’ll have a shot with Adam, haha!”

Have a shot with Adam… Adam… My best friend Adam, the good looking, tall, buff, charismatic Adam… The Adam I’ve always envied yet inspired to be…

Yes, that Adam.

I couldn’t believe it, after all these years of waiting for her the first thing she does is say she wants to be with Adam.

I felt like my heart was ripped out of my body, but instead of spiraling into a deep, self loathing depression...

...I did something else.

I vowed to make a change, to never get hurt again, to become more confident, to make better friends!

And the first thing that needed to be done was to GET BIGGER.

I started working out with Adam every day after school.

I became obsessed with reading bodybuilding books and magazines.

I started eating to the point of wanting to vomit because I knew the more I ate the bigger I would get.

And you know what happened?

Within 3 weeks I started noticing results in the mirror.

Within 6 weeks friends and family started complimenting me.

Within 12 weeks I was getting more attention from girls.

The results were endless!

During that first year of taking action and making a change, I had more confidence, more girls, more friends, and more respect from men than I could have ever dreamed of.

And after 5 more years of perfecting my workout I was finally able to write the most revolutionary muscle building routine to ever hit the market.​

Now read this part carefully….​

If you follow my routine to perfection you will get the exact results (or better) I did in a shorter amount of time.

But don’t just take my word for it, here are some results from guys like you who have purchased my program.

(Testimonial)


(Testimonial)


(Testimonial)


(Testimonial)​

SEE! Look at that…

These guys were just like you at one point, what changed was they stopped making excuses and started taking action.


So what are results like these going to cost you?


Let’s be honest.

Building a body like this is priceless.

Building unbreakable confidence is priceless.

Getting non-stop, positive attention from women and peers is priceless.

But nevertheless, I have decided to price my top ranked program at less than the cost of a personal training session which normally runs at $60 per hour.

For $47 you will get all the results above, plus more than you could have ever imagined.



Click Here To Order Now​

But that isn’t even the best part…


Not only will you get the workout program but I’m also adding in my fashion blueprint for FREE.

This guide will teach you how to match the right type of clothing with your new added muscle that will make even MORE heads turn when you walk by.

You will get tips on the best colognes and fragrances that will have EVERY girl you interact with complimenting you on the smell.

AND there will be a list of cheap clothing brands that are just as good as the high quality ones so you don’t have to break the bank.


But again, this isn’t even the best part…


I’m also adding a FREE 156 page exercise book that will show you the proper form for every exercise you want to do.

It will allow you to customize the program however you would like after the initial 8-12 weeks.

AND there will be an advanced AB workout once you have progressed through the beginner stage.

But! (yes you’ve guessed it) THIS is still not even the best part.


All of this is backed up with a 1-Year Satisfaction Guarantee!!!

That’s right, I am 100% confident that you will get the results you’ve only dreamed of that if you’re not satisfied within a year time frame I will issue you a full refund with no hassle at all.

Order Now At Zero Risk​

What are you waiting for?

Don’t let life get in the way and miss out on this opportunity to become a better you. Stop letting life control you and start controlling your life. Order now at no risk and thank me later when you see the results!


Sincerely,


Wally West

 

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[DrunkFish]

Wally West

This is great!! Honestly.

 

[daivey]

im just curious, do people actually read those typical 5 pages of copy, and then make a purchase??

I usually read 1 sentence, and then can figure out that the person is selling something... and usually the sleazy copy that continues after the first sentence is reasons why you need to buy today..

Does that actually work?

i never bought anything online that had a page of shit strung together to get me to purchase.

I can understand a few sentences that expertly describe the product and why you need it, but i dont understand more than that.

 

[daivey]

This is what im talking about in my last post. who the hell reads this stuff and then actually says "SHIT THAT's TOTALLY ME, I will buy it now!!"

Here is my first ever page of copy...

It sucks but you know what?

It's 1 million times better than not doing anything at all.​

I'm actually really proud of myself that I took the time to write crappy copy instead of reading books non-stop and doing nothing. I've been in sales for so long and I have always trained the new hires to stop reading the script over and over again, but to pick up the phone and sell.

I've preached this for so long but here I was being a hypocrite because I've been too afraid to take action and practice my writing.

I can go on forever about this, but here it is.. Thanks again Lex, I'll keep pushing through your challenge.

The Last Muscle Building Routine You’ll Ever Need! Build 15 Pounds of Ripped, Lean Muscle In Just 8-12 Weeks!​

Do you want to build pounds of lean muscle without adding fat fast?

Do you want that ripped, muscular body that all the famous Hollywood actors have, not the bulky puffy look of body builders?

And do you finally want the attention from women and respect from men you think you deserve?

If you answered YES to these questions, then you’re about to read about the revolutionary work out program that will COMPLETELY change your life.

Let me tell you why…

Guys like yourself that are ready to start building muscle have NO IDEA what they’re doing.

They’ll jump onto weight machines and start doing workouts with no sort of structure.

They’ll see minimal results within the first few weeks and quit after being discouraged.

They’ll over-train endlessly at the gym and then find excuses as to why they don’t have time to workout anymore.

I’m sure you have been in the same boat and the excuses are endless!


That is, until now…

Sixpack Systems focuses on short, high intensity weight lifting sessions that will build optimal muscle and strength gains, while keeping off the fat.​

The workouts are only 45-60 minutes long so no overtraining or never ending sessions.

Tailored to build you well rounded, ripped, lean muscle mass throughout your entire body to give you that Hollywood Actor look.

The perfect diet plan that anyone can use to get top ranked results within 8-12 weeks whether you’re skinny, average, or even fat.

There’s much more, but before I go on let me tell you a bit about myself.

This is me seven years ago…



(Insert picture)​

I was skinny. Had no confidence. Couldn’t get girls. Bullied by bigger guys. Sad. Lonely.

I’m sure you get the picture.

But how did I change?

Well, I had to hit rock bottom first.

The girl of my dreams just left her boyfriend and the first thing she did was call her best friend, me.

“This is it,” I thought, “I finally have a shot.”

She comes over and we talk all night, I comfort her, make her laugh, I do exactly what skinny nice guys do.

And then when I think it’s time to make a move, time to spill out my heart and tell her how I feel, she hits me with this…

“Hey, maybe now that I’m single I’ll have a shot with Adam, haha!”

Have a shot with Adam… Adam… My best friend Adam, the good looking, tall, buff, charismatic Adam… The Adam I’ve always envied yet inspired to be…

Yes, that Adam.

I couldn’t believe it, after all these years of waiting for her the first thing she does is say she wants to be with Adam.

I felt like my heart was ripped out of my body, but instead of spiraling into a deep, self loathing depression...

...I did something else.

I vowed to make a change, to never get hurt again, to become more confident, to make better friends!

And the first thing that needed to be done was to GET BIGGER.

I started working out with Adam every day after school.

I became obsessed with reading bodybuilding books and magazines.

I started eating to the point of wanting to vomit because I knew the more I ate the bigger I would get.

And you know what happened?

Within 3 weeks I started noticing results in the mirror.

Within 6 weeks friends and family started complimenting me.

Within 12 weeks I was getting more attention from girls.

The results were endless!

During that first year of taking action and making a change, I had more confidence, more girls, more friends, and more respect from men than I could have ever dreamed of.

And after 5 more years of perfecting my workout I was finally able to write the most revolutionary muscle building routine to ever hit the market.​

Now read this part carefully….​

If you follow my routine to perfection you will get the exact results (or better) I did in a shorter amount of time.

But don’t just take my word for it, here are some results from guys like you who have purchased my program.

(Testimonial)


(Testimonial)


(Testimonial)


(Testimonial)​

SEE! Look at that…

These guys were just like you at one point, what changed was they stopped making excuses and started taking action.


So what are results like these going to cost you?


Let’s be honest.

Building a body like this is priceless.

Building unbreakable confidence is priceless.

Getting non-stop, positive attention from women and peers is priceless.

But nevertheless, I have decided to price my top ranked program at less than the cost of a personal training session which normally runs at $60 per hour.

For $47 you will get all the results above, plus more than you could have ever imagined.



Click Here To Order Now​

But that isn’t even the best part…


Not only will you get the workout program but I’m also adding in my fashion blueprint for FREE.

This guide will teach you how to match the right type of clothing with your new added muscle that will make even MORE heads turn when you walk by.

You will get tips on the best colognes and fragrances that will have EVERY girl you interact with complimenting you on the smell.

AND there will be a list of cheap clothing brands that are just as good as the high quality ones so you don’t have to break the bank.


But again, this isn’t even the best part…


I’m also adding a FREE 156 page exercise book that will show you the proper form for every exercise you want to do.

It will allow you to customize the program however you would like after the initial 8-12 weeks.

AND there will be an advanced AB workout once you have progressed through the beginner stage.

But! (yes you’ve guessed it) THIS is still not even the best part.


All of this is backed up with a 1-Year Satisfaction Guarantee!!!

That’s right, I am 100% confident that you will get the results you’ve only dreamed of that if you’re not satisfied within a year time frame I will issue you a full refund with no hassle at all.

Order Now At Zero Risk​

What are you waiting for?

Don’t let life get in the way and miss out on this opportunity to become a better you. Stop letting life control you and start controlling your life. Order now at no risk and thank me later when you see the results!


Sincerely,


Wally West

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DrunkFish]

im just curious, do people actually read those typical 5 pages of copy, and then make a purchase??

I usually read 1 sentence, and then can figure out that the person is selling something... and usually the sleazy copy that continues after the first sentence is reasons why you need to buy today..

Does that actually work?

i never bought anything online that had a page of shit strung together to get me to purchase.

I can understand a few sentences that expertly describe the product and why you need it, but i dont understand more than that.

Yes? You sound to be quite full of yourself, yet you couldn't figure out that copy sells. There is a reason people make a living off of copy, guess you haven't caught on yet.

 

[daivey]

Yes? You sound to be quite full of yourself, yet you couldn't figure out that copy sells. There is a reason people make a living off of copy, guess you haven't caught on yet.

it's just surprising that a 10 page article like that would work. and does it? you say people make a living writing these, sure, I buy that.... but does someone like the OP{ getting paid to do this, write this sort of stuff?

do these random websites that have these 10 page of "copy" actually make any sales from the website, or do they make sales from people linking to their site and trying to drive business that way.

is 10 page copy article the norm in copy world, or is it more "sentence" 1 paragraph, etc, to grab attention.

 

[Lex DeVille]

it's just surprising that a 10 page article like that would work. and does it? you say people make a living writing these, sure, I buy that.... but does someone like the OP{ getting paid to do this, write this sort of stuff?

do these random websites that have these 10 page of "copy" actually make any sales from the website, or do they make sales from people linking to their site and trying to drive business that way.

is 10 page copy article the norm in copy world, or is it more "sentence" 1 paragraph, etc, to grab attention.

Mostly it depends on the audience. Some people want more info. They want to know every last detail. They want to read every bit of copy to sort fact from fantasy and find out if the offer is quality or bs.

Sometimes it's the fine details and guarantees that matter. But not always.

I don't write long pages of copy very often. Most of my audiences don't need it. I think it's more important for certain educational products, or products where the audience needs background info to buy.

If you're targeting a niche where they already understand the product then they won't need as much info.

Then your goal is to write for response. Your goal becomes tapping into emotions and feelings.

Usually they're called "hot buttons." Hit the right hot button and your target responds.

Response is what we're after. The results speak for themselves.

Either the copy gets results, or it doesn't and something needs changed.

 

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[Lex DeVille]

If you haven't picked up the free eguides from copyblogger you totally should.

I attached one here. Just a bit about storytelling.

They're all about crafting creative content that pulls customers to you.

I've read a few of their other guides. So far they all have great info for modern copywriters.

 

[W3kk]

So, i was casually living my life, occupied with high school, when one day, i open my e-mail, and i see that someone ACTUALLY accepted my proposal, and is willing to talk about it.
I ended up landing the gig.
The guy gave me a deadline of 2-3 days. I finished it in 2-3 hours and sent it to him. I also checked his site, and noticed he does not have a search function. I pointed it out to him, and now the guy loves me. I provided value!

I made some minor mistakes though, so he told me that during the next day (i typed the gig during the night). I corrected my mistakes in around 30 minutes and sent it to him.

He was thrilled.

I got a shining 5 star review, and an invitation to join a Skype group of 20, where they will probably need copywriters.

I'm still really nervous, like i was before i started this gig. I still doubt myself, and believe that my copy is shit. But, he seemed to like it! So, it's probably not that bad. It's probably only in my mind.


Thank you Sinister for these lessons.

 

[The Racing Driver]

Finally finished 15 days to Freedom, not in exactly 15 days. But going to go over it again (it's incredible how fast you forget things).

Thanks so much Lex for all your contribution.

Anyhow, if you're looking to start the challenge (do it).

You can simply download the doc file I put together, with the 15 days of the challenge.

You'll save a boatload of time searching for Sinister's posts, and get closer to the freedom you desire. Even quicker....

Good Luck !

 

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[fastlanebob]

So excited to finish my first body of copy: on Day 5 so far. Would anyone mind critiquing this or giving any suggestions? Thanks.
----

Do You Need the Perfect Limousine for Your Wedding?

Your wedding is the most important day of your life. For such an important day, you need the best, right? The best flowers, the best dresses, the best tuxedos, you name it! Now add a limousine on top of that. Planning weddings is hard work, don’t you think?

If you answered yes, then you just scored a lucky break. You just found the nation’s best limousine service.

Need a 10, 20, or even 28 seat limousine? We have that for you. Need the most rigorously-trained chauffeur service the nation has to offer? We have that for you. Need to travel to Banana International Airport, Main Street, or Potato Convention Center? We have that for you. John Doe Limousines will take care of all the hard work, so all that’s left for you to do is relax. What are you waiting for? Order right now to get FREE time and price consultation.

Order Here

We know what you’re thinking. “These guys are full of it. Why should we believe what they’re saying?” And you’re right. It does sound too good to be true. However, we have been the nation’s TOP limousine service for over 20 years, and every single client we’ve ever had stands by us. Just check out our testimonials:

“testimonials…”

Still not convinced? Here at John Doe Limousines, we put our money where our mouths are. If we don’t live up to your expectations, you get 100% of your money back. No questions asked. That’s how confident we are with our service. Why not try us?

10 years back, I was in the same position you were. My fiancé and I were starting our new lives, and the stress of planning our wedding was getting to us. Sleepless nights, endless days at work to pay for flowers, you name it. It was not a fun 6 months leading up to the wedding. That was, until we found John Doe Limousines.

Our consultant was a wizard, a guru of wedding planning. Not only did he set up our limousine service within an hour, but he also offered free advice on the whole darn thing. In fact, I was so impressed with the service that I asked on the spot if I could start working under him. The best decision I’ve ever made: I’m still working here ten years later.

If you want the best for your wedding, you have to choose the best. Order NOW and get a FREE first consultation: you don’t pay ‘til you’re satisfied. What are you waiting for?

Order Here

 

[Deleted25642]

Day 12 Challenge: 2. Write 2 paragraphs of copy

You wake up to a beautiful sunny day. The sky is clear, no sign of clouds - you can feel like its going to be an amazing day!

You get wash your face, brush your teeth and slip on your socks & running gear.

You're eager to get out the door and get to running, you can't wait for the amazing rush, the wind in your face and the release of endorphin into your system.

You get outside and the birds are tweeting and the grass smells so fresh you can taste the dew.

You do some stretches and make sure you're shoes are tied well, you click play on your mp3 and you find the perfect track to start your joggin on.

You start running and you're feeling like a million bucks.... after a few min. you feel like increasing the tempo a bit, because you want to push yourself and break your time you set a few weeks back.

But when you do, you're forced to slow it down again. Every-time you increase the temp you're freaking headphones feel like they're about to pop out of your ears - its so freaking frustrating!

You're only option is to either go nice and steady with music, or take your headphones out of your ears while you push your body to the max for a few min!

WHY MUST LIFE BE SO SUCKY?!!? ISN'T THERE SOMETHING FOR THIS HORRIBLENESS ?!

===================================================================
Day 14 ..aaaaaand done.

Thanks for the guide and course. I have completed every step & challenge and found it very useful and helpful!

Here are my notes for those of you that did not take notes:



1) Be Like Jesus - Forget You. Help Them.

2) Make Them STOP! (Desire + Emotion in Headline)

3) Influence 'Em using Time & Scarcity

4) Take ACTION.

5) Keep It Simple Stupid.

A) Open with a question. B) Ask more questions.
C) Use short sentences. D) Use short paragraphs.
E) Less Syllables is More. F) Make Sub-Headings Large.
G) Choose Where Each Line Ends H) Read The Copy Out Loud!
I) Speak to Senses J) Use Action Language!

6) Eliciting Emotional Responses

A) Specific Outcomes B) Influence from the Start
C) Foreshadowing D) Our Desire for Action + High & lows
E) The First Trigger F) The 2nd Trigger
G) Drive it home.

7) Find your vision and build an empire!

8) Write Logically.

A) Start by asking what your prospect desires most.
B) Then ask, the who, what, when ,where, why, & how questions.

9) Psychological Rules of Persuasion

A) Reciprocity B) Commitment & Consistency
C) Social Proof D) Be Like Them (liking)
E) Authority F) Scarcity

10) Life is like... a game

11) Once upon a time ... Storytelling

A) Start fast & start in action B) Use the Right Perspective
C) Engage the Senses D) Use Appropriate Context
E) Actually Tell a Story. (cheaters guide to short story writing)

12) Find the right motivation; PAIN or Pleasure

13) The Art of Outcomes & Assumption

14) Technique Doesn't Matter - Nothing is set in stone.

Do you have the author name anywhere of the the book "cheaters guide to short story writing"? I can't find it online by the title only.
Thanks if you do

 

[Lex DeVille]

Do you have the author name anywhere of the the book "cheaters guide to short story writing"? I can't find it online by the title only.
Thanks if you do

Cheater's Guide to Romance Writing

 

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[Matthieu]

Finally finished 15 days to Freedom, not in exactly 15 days. But going to go over it again (it's incredible how fast you forget things).

Thanks so much Lex for all your contribution.

Anyhow, if you're looking to start the challenge (do it).

You can simply download the doc file I put together, with the 15 days of the challenge.

You'll save a boatload of time searching for Sinister's posts, and get closer to the freedom you desire. Even quicker....

Good Luck !

Thank you very much for the creation of this 2 documents

And Thank you SinisterLex for all your advices.

 

[Deleted25642]

Cheater's Guide to Romance Writing

Just don't feel like the "thanks" button was enough. Much appreciate the time you've put into answering questions and helping others Lex. Thank you.

 

[JokerCrazyBeatz]

Day 2 Headlines:

#1 Right Guard: Spend less time "Pit-Checking" and more time hustling

#2 Hardee's : The cure for conversations with your stomach

#3 Halls Cough Drops: The #1 "Sore-Throat-Be-Gone" throat
lozenge

#4 Bryers: Smooth and Creamy Made with All Natural Ingredient so it's Delicious till the last spoon

#5 Levis: Plans To Get "Down and Dirty"? Thats What We're Here For

 

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[goodguude]

Day 2 Challenge​

2. Come up with 5 to 10 products / services / or something else you want to sell. Give serious consideration to the questions above. Figure out the customer's deepest desire. Figure out the emotions they want to experience. Then write 5 to 10 headlines utilizing what you've learned, that MAKE THEM STOP!

If you're feeling brave you can post your headlines in this thread for others to critique. But no pressure.

​

​

Using this thread to learn writing copy right now. Hope it is okay to post my headlines here, even if this post was posted more than a year ago.

Headlines:

(1) for a tutoring service for students

"GET BETTER GRADES"

(2) for a lawn care service

"Make Your Neighbor Envy - Contact The PREMIUM Lawn Care Service In Town!"

(3) for running shoes

"DOMINATE. THE. TRACK."

(4) for a real estate object for a middle class family

"Fulfil Your Lifetime Dream - Move Into Your Own 4 Walls"

(5) for an electrician service

"ATTENTION! Let Our Experts Take Care Of Your Re-VOLT-ing Devices"


Had it first written in english and than translated it into german. Need to do both since the superior content for learning it is exclusively written in english but my (future) main customer base will probably be located in german-speaking countries.

I would love to get some feedback regarding the headlines above - no matter how negative (or perhaps positive haha) the judgement is. Thanks therefor and thanks SinisterLex for providing this challenge.

 

[The Racing Driver]

Day 2 Headlines:

#1 Right Guard: Spend less time "Pit-Checking" and more time hustling

#2 Hardee's : The cure for conversations with your stomach

#3 Halls Cough Drops: The #1 "Sore-Throat-Be-Gone" throat
lozenge

#4 Bryers: Smooth and Creamy Made with All Natural Ingredient so it's Delicious till the last spoon

#5 Levis: Plans To Get "Down and Dirty"? Thats What We're Here For

Not a bad effort. Will give you some tips to improve. (My changes are bolded)

#3 Halls Cough Drops: The #1 "Sore-Throat-Be-Gone" throat lozenges (You mentioned 'cough drops'. Keep lozenges plural)

#4 Bryers: Smooth and Creamy Made with 100% Natural Ingredients. Delicious till the last spoon. (Added punctuation for pauses, and also added the number '100'. Because numbers appear different, and grab more attention).

#5 Levis: Plan To Get "Down and Dirty"? That's What We're Here For (We plan to do something, not plans. If you wish to keep plans, then add 'have' in front. But it's not necessary, shorter is usually better. Finally 'That is', is abbreviated to that's, not thats.)

 

[Posiedon]

Day 2 challenge - Practice:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GET BETTER WITH COPYWRITING BY CRITIQUING MY PRACTICE!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Products listed :

Cheap - pens, utensils

Medium - apartment rentals, laptops,

Expensive - car, college tuition

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Product: Pens - $2-$4

Target: Everyone

Desire - Feel good, should be reliable, lightweight, easily noticeable, firm grip, leakproof, sturdy

Emotion - proud to own a good pen, happiness, satisfaction, relaxing


Headline - Buy A Reliable Pen That Enhances Your Creativity!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Product: Utensils

Target: Mostly 18+ people.

Desire - Reliable, made from safe material, long lasting, microwave and oven proof, keeps food fresh

Emotion - happiness, satisfaction

Headline - Top Quality Utensils For Your Family At Discounted Prices! Hurry!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Product: Laptops

Target: Mostly people aged 18-40

Desire - Get work done fast, long lasting,

Emotion - Happiness, satisfaction everytime they use it

Headline - Powerful Multicore Processor built to handle Massive Processing at Ordinary Cost!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Product: Apartment Rentals - Renting apartments -

Target - 18-30 year olds

Desire - Security, easily accessible, close to daily needs stores, schools, hospitals

Emotion - Happiness, security, calm, relaxing

Headline - Rentals Available In A Growing Upper Class Locality!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Product: cars - $40k-60k range

Target - Mostly rich people, age group - mostly 35+

Desire - Powerful, good royal looks, reliable, good control

Emotion - Pride, Happiness, feel powerful

Headline - Cars That Feel More Comfortable Than Your Home!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Product: College Tuition

Target: Teens - age group: 15-17

Desire: Freedom to pursue interests, good quality education, guaranteed job

Emotion: Pride, happiness,

Headline : Secure Your Future!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please feel free to provide your harshest feedback. I look forward to any suggestions.

 

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[Posiedon]

Day 3 | Influence Lesson 1
The Butterfly Effect
We can never truly know the real impact of our words.​

“Influence is inevitable.” – Unknown​

Some of you may think this quote ridiculous. Maybe you read it and say, “Inevitable? No way. I read Robert Cialdini’s book, and there’s no way I can be influenced now.”

But you are wrong.

Influence happens constantly. Consistently. All around us, all the time. It happens to us, and there’s not a damn thing we can do to stop it. Need proof? Stay awake until you fall asleep. Prove that you can’t be influenced by fatigue, and I’ll never write again.

I can make that statement with confidence because I know that you can be influenced, just as I can be influenced, and just as every other person can be influenced.

But this lesson isn’t about the fact that every single one of us can be influenced.​

It’s to help you understand that every action you take, whether physical, mental, verbal or written, influences others, yourself, and the future as you know it.

That’s great, but how does it apply to copywriting?​

This could very easily breach the realm of mindset, but this isn’t a mindset lesson, so let’s narrow it down to the words we write.

When was the last time you gave extreme consideration to how your words would be received?

Recall the last time you posted on this forum. Did you spend hours thinking about how people would respond? Did you wonder if your post would help someone instantly?

And did you also spend hours thinking about how people 5 years from now would be impacted when they read it? Or did you simply post it without much thought at all?

What if something you say today triggers a powerful chain of events leading to another Fastlane member’s freedom 3 years from now? How would that make you feel?​

That’s the big picture with influence. That’s how it works. What we write today influences others long into the future, and we can never truly know how far that influence extends.

That’s why every word we write MUST have a purpose.​

Influence is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it's always positive. If your writing sucks, or if you blindly write without structure, rhyme or reason, then your copy will negatively impact everyone who reads it for many years to come. But, if you write with intent, always moving toward a specific outcome, then you can practically guarantee you'll have a positive effect.

Good copywriters always keep influence in mind. They know it's not black & white. They know that just because a prospect doesn't buy today doesn't mean he won't come back tomorrow. That's why we always write every single word with a purpose.

Good copy doesn't just drive the sale today.
It plants seeds that drive sales tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day after that.​

Alright, enough lecture.

Let's read some kick-a$$ example phrases that'll unlock your mind and
open doors to worlds you never imagined possible!

Influential Words that Sell Today

All of these words & phrases are commands that drive action and
influence your prospect to take the next step.

Buy Now.
Click here.
Join.
Get It.
Subscribe.
Submit.


Influential Words that Sell this Week

All of these words & phrases are commands that
influence your prospect by setting a deadline or
invoking the principle of scarcity.

Offer Ends Friday.
Offer Valid thru Friday.
Offer Good While Supplies Last.
Respond by Friday if You're Interested.
My schedule Fills by Friday.
Call Before Friday.
Order by Friday and Get [insert something here].
There's only a few slots left.
These tacos won't last long.
They're going fast!


Words that Influence Long Into the Future

These words & phrases are called idea seed planters. They
plant seeds of thought that grow either throughout the
length of your copy, or over a period of time with
repeat exposure.

Consider this.
Think about it.
Consider it.
Give it some thought.
Ponder it.
Mull it over.
Consider your options.
Maybe it's right for you.
What's the worst that could happen?
Imagine how you'll benefit.
Imagine what you'll gain.
Just imagine it.
Sleep on it.
Just
do
it​

There are way more phrases than this.

This is just a small sample of some of the words you can use to influence your prospects, readers, clients, & customers.

Influence is what copywriting is all about.

It's about taking the influence that's going to happen anyway, and giving it direction. It's not about manipulating people. It's about helping customers reach the outcomes they want, and also reaching your own outcomes at the same time.

Everyone should benefit.

To ensure your copy always packs the most powerful impact possible, write with the intent of influencing people throughout all concepts of time whether it's right now, this week, or 10 years in the future.

And always seek to have a positive impact on others.

Day 3 Challenge
​

1. Help someone. Solve a problem for someone. Do it without asking for anything in return just like yesterday, and just like the day before. Remember, it doesn't have to be something epic. Just something that impacts them positively in some way.

2. Write 5 new headlines that MAKE THEM STOP, and tap into your prospects desires & emotions.

3. Using your product or service, or something you make up, write a paragraph or two to your target customer utilizing the influential phrases you learned in this post. Consider using all 3 types of phrases for maximum impact, and remember to write with intent. Find ways to show how your product helps your customer while driving them toward the action you want them to take.

Do this before reading the next lesson, or don't keep going forward.

Now that you know that influence is inevitable you can
start writing copy with intent & purpose so you can
achieve your desired results in the shortest
time possible. Always write for positive
outcomes. That's it for this lesson.
When you're ready, continue
on to Day 4 - Mindset
Lesson
2​

Thank You @SinisterLex.
Here is my effort after this lesson. All kinds of feedback is welcome.

Day 3 - Mindset Lesson 1


Product - Anti virus software


Target Audience - Everyone with an Internet connection

Desire - Keep me safe, detect threat quickly,

Emotion- feeling of security,


Headline - Threats are lurking. Secure your Computer NOW!


Paragraph:


Did you know that a virus can potentially hijack your entire system! What if all your banking passwords are revealed! Our Anti-Virus will make sure your PC is protected at all times so you can browse the web freely knowing you are completely safe! Buy Now! Discounted rates apply only until this week!

Comments - I tried to hit the buy today and buy this week phrases. For long term I am thinking that the line 'What if all your banking passwords are revealed!' would trigger them to think long term but not really sure here. Any comments on this?

Product - Travel bags


Target Audience - Adults aged 18+

Desire - Good quality, does not break easily, long lasting

Emotion - Happiness,


Headline - Sturdy bags so you can travel without worry!


Product: Luxury watches


Target Audience: Rich adults. Mostly aged 35+

Desire - proud and successful after owning one, unique and exclusive, attractive design that generates interest, only available to the rich

Emotion - Pride, Happiness, confidence


Headline - Let Our Watches Reflect Your Brilliance!


Product: Headphone - Medium range - $50-$70


Target Audience: Music lovers but not audiophiles

Desire - Good quality music, comfortable, long lasting, good looking

Emotion - Happiness, feeling of calmness


Headline - Don’t Just Listen, LIVE your Music!

 

[Posiedon]

Day 6 Challenge



1. Help someone in some way without asking anything in return.

2. Choose a product and write a sales letter for it. Before you start, prepare a specific outcome for your letter.

3. Write the headline for the letter to MAKE THEM STOP & have an emotional impact.

4. Weave techniques of influence into the body to carry that emotional impact throughout the letter.

5. Finalize the letter by driving your prospect with emotion to take some action.
(Click Here, Join Now, etc.)

6. Take some action that you've been too scared to take.

​

I wrote a copy for a fictional phone model - M70
I feel I am now getting better than when I started out. Thanks @SinisterLex.

Here is the copy. Fee free to comment on it. All suggestions are welcome.

Control the world with just a touch!​

Do you believe that a good cell phone can make your life much easier?

Tired of your phone’s draining battery or sluggishness?
Look no further.​

Introducing, the M70, the long awaited one of a kind smartphone.​

M70 will truly make your life easier with these boasting features:

Excellent battery life
Gone are the days when you have to worry about carrying your charger everywhere. With a massive 2500mAh battery, this phone can last an entire day with heavy usage.

Screen
With a 4.5” screen with HD clarity, experience movies and gaming like no other phone can provide.

RAM
Keeping in mind the nature of multitasking in today’s world, the M70 is backed by a powerful 2 GB of RAM. Say goodbye to the sluggishness and multitask like a pro.

Camera
Who does not like clicking pictures? We sure do and so do you. Take sharp perfect pictures of your friends and family and cherish every happy moment of your life.

So what are you waiting for? Change your life forever!

BUY NOW!​

 

[Posiedon]

Day 7 challenge:

Product - Fitness DVD

Target Audience - Adults aspiring to be fit - Men and women
Problems faced - lack of motivation, lack of guidance in exercising and nutrition, process is long and challenging

Copy:

GET BACK IN SHAPE AND MAKE HEADS TURN!

Are you tired of hitting the gym and not getting expected results?
How many times did you start and just gave up mid way because the going got difficult?

We at XYZ Fitness are proud to present you the complete fitness DVD that promises you a fun journey. Our benefits include but are not limited to:

No more paying for a trainer by the hour
Out fitness DVD consists of step by step detailed instructions so that you can perform each movement correctly and safely.

Customized for you
The DVD consists of 3 starting points - Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced. You select your current comfort level and gradually move up.

Nutrition Guidance
All exercise and no nutrition makes Jack a slim boy. Nutrition and exercise go hand in hand for a healthy body. We have made sure that our nutrition program covers vegan, vegetarian and non-vegetarian audiences so everyone can benefit.

Exercise at your time - Anytime and Anywhere
Whether you are home or traveling. With our fitness DVD by your side, you can exercise anytime and anywhere.

Track your progress
We are proud partners with the MyFitnessPal app. It is extremely easy to use and you can start using it in seconds. And yes, if you need any help, we are always by your side.

Motivation
Lack of motivation is the most important reasons worldwide for quitting gyms. We have recognized and solved this problem by using motivational pictures, quotes and providing fun incentives when you reach your target. With our designed program it is very unlikely that you will ever think of giving up.

Interact with us
If you face any problem, feel free to contact us at support@xyz.com. Or drop us an email just to say hello. We always like talking to our customers. We also have an online forum where you can meet fellow fitness people and hit your goals together.

Zero Risk Policy
If, at any time within the first 30 days you feel our product is not good enough, we will give you a complete refund - no questions asked.

So take action NOW and get the complete DVD at a discounted price of just $49!!
Click here!
​

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All feedback welcome.

Start critiquing

 

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[magnus2332]

Day 2 Challenge

1. 5 simple ways you can earn money from your couch today!
2. The single best hack to cut down your commute to work
3. This mindset will drastically improve your chances with women
4. Tips that will 10x your productivity
5. Organic grocery shopping for broke people

This was fun, I can come up with headlines all day

 

[magnus2332]

Day 3 Challenge

1. How eating more fat can help you lose weight
2. How to work less and make more money
3. How to get the beach body you’ve always wanted
4. 3 tips that will instantly improve your jump shot
5. 7 ideas for the perfect first date

Product: How to Make Money $1000 a Month from Your Couch Course

Need extra cash? I bet you do who doesn’t. Buy my online course that will teach you to earn money from your couch! Imagine how you will benefit from taking my course. That extra $1000 you can pay off your student loans, take a vacation, or buy those designer jeans you’ve always wanted. I will give you tips and my personal techniques that helped me make at least $1000 a month all from the comfort of my own home. This offer only lasts until August 31.I am closing it once 100 people sign up. Once that happens I won’t open it back up for a while. So claim your spot now.