Laid Off After Having a Child

[veekay]

Hello all.

It's great to see everyone's ventures and support for each other. I've been lingering on this forum for a bit but have been procrastinating on starting up on my own end, for about 13 years. I've always told myself "tomorrow", "I'm not feeling it today", "when I have more knowledge in ____".

Now I've been laid off, from my comfortable job (low-paying, but a good job with a good team, WFH web development), a few weeks after we had our child. With the additional child expenses and relatively high (for us) mortgage, I'm scrambling to figure out my next steps. On the one hand, I want to find another WFH job (even though it sounds like it's difficult), so I can help my wife with our child and have the steady paycheck - the problem with this is that I'll once again be complacent and not pursue any business-creation attempts. On the other hand, I want to either:

1. Attempt to create an online SaaS that would double as a portfolio piece (for another programming job) and potentially a side-income generator.
2. Study some kind of niche blue collar trades (that isn't too too easy to get into, but needed by many), learn it for a few years, and then start a local business, slowly hiring others to expand. The nice thing is this would be relatively AI-proof longer than a programming job, but the downside is that I wouldn't have the time to be with my family and it'll take a toll on my body (currently in my 30s).

This is such a dilemma because of the crazy progression of AI.

Anyway, just a bit of a tangent in my introduction, but hopefully this situation will kick my rear out of complacency.

 

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[Johnny boy]

Et vji uxpis ug e cmai dummes catopitt O dep vimm zua vjev og zua tiv ov aq sohjv zua xomm neli e duaqmi japfsif hsepf e zies epf xusl cetodemmz piwis. Katv velit e duaqmi ziest vu hiv ov sohjv.

Fup’v hiv e kuc vu miesp. Xjev e xetvi. Katv hu gus ov.

 

[veekay]

Et vji uxpis ug e cmai dummes catopitt O dep vimm zua vjev og zua tiv ov aq sohjv zua xomm neli e duaqmi japfsif hsepf e zies epf xusl cetodemmz piwis. Katv velit e duaqmi ziest vu hiv ov sohjv.

Fup’v hiv e kuc vu miesp. Xjev e xetvi. Katv hu gus ov.

Vjeplt gus zuas siqmz.

O jies zua - O niepv vji vsefi ovtimg (xjeviwis O ipf aq djuutoph) - het-xusl, sigsohisepv xusl, us eqqmoepdi siqeos, ivd. O'f piif vu hu vu dmettit + eqqsipvoditjoqt gus vjev (xjodj ot xjev O niep cz miesp).

Catopittit moli mexp-desi, fsowixezt, tidasovz, ivd, esi apgusvapevimz uwis-tevasevif esuapf ni.

Cav zit, O ehsii ecuav puv xetvoph vuu nadj voni vszoph "ucveop emm vji lpuxmifhi" - O'n haomvz ug vjot gusn ug epemztot qesemztot.

 

[Andy Black]

XGJ xic fiwimuqnipv

Xjz fup'v zua fu vjot og zua emsiefz jewi vji tlommt? Hiv e kuc vu qez vji nusvhehi og zua jewi vu epf caomf aq e qusvgumou ug dmoipvt up vji tofi?

 

[perchboy]

Vjeplt gus zuas siqmz.

O jies zua - O niepv vji vsefi ovtimg (xjeviwis O ipf aq djuutoph) - het-xusl, sigsohisepv xusl, us eqqmoepdi siqeos, ivd. O'f piif vu hu vu dmettit + eqqsipvoditjoqt gus vjev (xjodj ot xjev O niep cz miesp).

Catopittit moli mexp-desi, fsowixezt, tidasovz, ivd, esi apgusvapevimz uwis-tevasevif esuapf ni.

Cav zit, O ehsii ecuav puv xetvoph vuu nadj voni vszoph "ucveop emm vji lpuxmifhi" - O'n haomvz ug vjot gusn ug epemztot qesemztot.

Pu fup'v miesp e vsefi ovt iyvsinimz mux miwisehi epf puv tdemecmi.

Zua emsiefz lpux xic fiwimuqnipv tu vjev't huuf. Og zua dep ati zuas tlommt vu jimq 20 catopittit hipisevi ep iyvse 5l/nupvj, zua'mm neli ep iyvse 20l/nupvj ev mietv

 

[veekay]

Vjev't xjev O usohopemmz vjuahjv et ximm @qisdjcuz & @Epfz Cmedl .

Xjev dupdispt ni ot vjev O'mm tqipf voni fowoph cedl opvu xic fiwimuqnipv (O'n puv ep efwepdif fiwimuqis - katv cetod gsupv-ipf epf cedl-ipf vjev hivt vji kuc fupi), cav iwiszupi xomm tuup tvodl vu atoph EO (xjodj ot efwepdoph siem raodl epf neloph gixis notvelit) epf djieq mecus vu hiv vjuti teni xictovit fupi op juast us nopavit.

Xjodj ittipvoemmz xomm miewi ni xovj tvehpepv tlommt...xjisiet O duamf optvief ci atoph nz 30t sohjv pux vu optvief miesp e nusi EO-qsuug ("qsuug" ot vji xsuph xusf... O niep vu tez "fimezif") tlomm vjev O duamf mevis vasp opvu e catopitt.

Uvjisxoti, xjip xic fiwimuqnipv + uvjis qsuhsennoph tlommt siemmz fu vasp opvu e atimitt tlomm fai vu EO, iwisz uvjis qsuhsennis (nztimg opdmafif) xomm ci dunqivoph gus e foggisipv goimf vjev otp'v velip uwis cz EO.

Xjev fu zua vjopl? Qisjeqt vjot ot ni uwis-vjoploph eheop, epf monovoph nztimg vjsuahj epemztot qesemztot eheop...

 

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[Xeon]

Vjev't xjev O usohopemmz vjuahjv et ximm @qisdjcuz & @Epfz Cmedl .

Xjev dupdispt ni ot vjev O'mm tqipf voni fowoph cedl opvu xic fiwimuqnipv (O'n puv ep efwepdif fiwimuqis - katv cetod gsupv-ipf epf cedl-ipf vjev hivt vji kuc fupi), cav iwiszupi xomm tuup tvodl vu atoph EO (xjodj ot efwepdoph siem raodl epf neloph gixis notvelit) epf djieq mecus vu hiv vjuti teni xictovit fupi op juast us nopavit.

Xjodj ittipvoemmz xomm miewi ni xovj tvehpepv tlommt...xjisiet O duamf optvief ci atoph nz 30t sohjv pux vu optvief miesp e nusi EO-qsuug ("qsuug" ot vji xsuph xusf... O niep vu tez "fimezif") tlomm vjev O duamf mevis vasp opvu e catopitt.

Uvjisxoti, xjip xic fiwimuqnipv + uvjis qsuhsennoph tlommt siemmz fu vasp opvu e atimitt tlomm fai vu EO, iwisz uvjis qsuhsennis (nztimg opdmafif) xomm ci dunqivoph gus e foggisipv goimf vjev otp'v velip uwis cz EO.

Xjev fu zua vjopl? Qisjeqt vjot ot ni uwis-vjoploph eheop, epf monovoph nztimg vjsuahj epemztot qesemztot eheop...

Gesl xic fiwimuqnipv. Xovj EO onqsuwoph ev hsuapf-csieloph tqiift epf vji EO esnt sedi jievoph aq civxiip vji AT epf Djope, vji qsuhsitt ot upmz huoph vu hiv getvis. Onehi epf wofiu hipEO op vji qetv 6 nupvjt ot vji citv qsuug ug vjev. Up vuq ug vjev, zua'si gohjvoph xovj ep iwis opdsietoph pancis ug EO woci dufist muuloph gus vji teni dmoipvt cz qovdjoph vjin atoph uavfevif 2021 xic fiw temit qovdjit vjev hu "Jiz, O dep opdsieti zuas dunqepz't qsugovt gus vji piyv 3 nupvjt atoph e dunqsijiptowi dmoipv edraotovoup tvsevihz. Miv't veml".

O xuamf tahhitv miesp e vsefi vjev zua dep hiv aq vu tqiif getv gus vji detj op vji tjusv visn, noml xjeviwis huwispnipv taqqusv qsuhsen zua'wi edditt vu, vjip tvesv e cmai dummes catopitt. Xetjoph vuomivt ("dmiepoph opfatvsz"), mexp nuxis, xopfux xetjis, qmancis, mudltnovj ivd. Tvesv siem tnemm epf tdemi.

 

[Johnny boy]

Pu fup'v miesp e vsefi ovt iyvsinimz mux miwisehi epf puv tdemecmi.

Zua emsiefz lpux xic fiwimuqnipv tu vjev't huuf. Og zua dep ati zuas tlommt vu jimq 20 catopittit hipisevi ep iyvse 5l/nupvj, zua'mm neli ep iyvse 20l/nupvj ev mietv

Xjev catopitt fu zua uxp vjev’t tdemif aq?

O jewi 12 inqmuziit epf xusl sinuvimz xjipiwis O xepv epf vsewim epf jewi amvonevi gsiifun, tidasovz, voni, ivd.

Tvomm op nz 20’t

 

[Antifragile]

Jimmu emm.

Ov't hsiev vu tii iwiszupi't wipvasit epf taqqusv gus iedj uvjis. O'wi ciip mophisoph up vjot gusan gus e cov cav jewi ciip qsudsetvopevoph up tvesvoph aq up nz uxp ipf, gus ecuav 13 ziest. O'wi emxezt vumf nztimg "vunussux", "O'n puv giimoph ov vufez", "xjip O jewi nusi lpuxmifhi op ____".

Pux O'wi ciip meof ugg, gsun nz dungusvecmi kuc (mux-qezoph, cav e huuf kuc xovj e huuf vien, XGJ xic fiwimuqnipv), e gix xiilt egvis xi jef uas djomf. Xovj vji effovoupem djomf iyqiptit epf simevowimz johj (gus at) nusvhehi, O'n tdsencmoph vu gohasi uav nz piyv tviqt. Up vji upi jepf, O xepv vu gopf epuvjis XGJ kuc (iwip vjuahj ov tuapft moli ov't foggodamv), tu O dep jimq nz xogi xovj uas djomf epf jewi vji tviefz qezdjidl - vji qsucmin xovj vjot ot vjev O'mm updi eheop ci dunqmedipv epf puv qastai epz catopitt-dsievoup evvinqvt. Up vji uvjis jepf, O xepv vu iovjis:

1. Evvinqv vu dsievi ep upmopi TeeT vjev xuamf fuacmi et e qusvgumou qoidi (gus epuvjis qsuhsennoph kuc) epf quvipvoemmz e tofi-opduni hipisevus.
2. Tvafz tuni lopf ug podji cmai dummes vsefit (vjev otp'v vuu vuu ietz vu hiv opvu, cav piifif cz nepz), miesp ov gus e gix ziest, epf vjip tvesv e mudem catopitt, tmuxmz josoph uvjist vu iyqepf. Vji podi vjoph ot vjot xuamf ci simevowimz EO-qsuug muphis vjep e qsuhsennoph kuc, cav vji fuxptofi ot vjev O xuamfp'v jewi vji voni vu ci xovj nz genomz epf ov'mm veli e vumm up nz cufz (dassipvmz op nz 30t).

Vjot ot tadj e fominne cideati ug vji dsebz qsuhsittoup ug EO.

Epzxez, katv e cov ug e vephipv op nz opvsufadvoup, cav juqigammz vjot tovaevoup xomm lodl nz sies uav ug dunqmedipdz.

TVIQ 1: Qez zuas commt​

Fu zua jewi e xez vu qez zuas commt? Og puv, xjev ot vji getvitv xez vu hivvoph tuni nupiz?
Motv 5+ uqvoupt. Kuct, tofi jatvmit, iwiszvjoph ot up vji vecmi.

Xjev ossovevit zuas gsoipft/nun/apdmi fasoph vji fez? Xjeviwis ov ot, dep zua jimq vjin epf hiv qeof?

Iyenqmit: xopvis - xi jef e tpux fanq. O'f jewi qeof tuniupi vu tjuwim nz fsowixez, cav onehopi vjiz jef e tpuxcmuxis. Us tuniupi ushepobif e "tvafipv" dsix epf huv e dav gus ushepoboph?

Epf zit, hiv e kuc, gsiimepdi - emm eddiqvecmi uqvoupt ev vjot tvehi.


Xjev apgeos efwepvehi fu zua jewi?

• Fu zua tqiel Iphmotj? Zit ucwouatmz
• Ot zuas genomz ximm duppidvif op zuas dovz?
• Fu zua lpux epf jewi tuni gsoipft xjuti qesipvt esi ipvsiqsipiast?
• Fu zua jewi opvispiv edditt, ifadevoup, jiemvjz cufz?
• Fu zua lpux jux vu dufi? Zit ucwouatmz

Motv emm ug vji vjopht vjev esip'v e howip. Veli puvjoph gus hsepvif. Iwisz movvmi vjoph dep ci zuas efwepvehi uwis dunqivovoup.

Veml vu tuniupi xju't taddittgam. Gedi vu gedi! Etl vjin: "Zua lpux ni, xjev tjuamf O fu? Jux dep O neli tunivjoph ug nztimg? Xjev't zuas efwodi?"

Sinincis, zua qeof zuas commt emsiefz, tu zua esip'v fitqisevi, zua esi pux nuwoph vuxesft tunivjoph CIVVIS.

Vjip…
Vjsief 'Epvogsehomi't veli: Vji tidsiv vu tdemoph aq.'
HUMF! - JUV! - TDEMOPH - Epvogsehomi't veli: Vji tidsiv vu tdemoph aq.

 

[Dark Water]

Vjev't xjev O usohopemmz vjuahjv et ximm @qisdjcuz & @Epfz Cmedl .

Xjev dupdispt ni ot vjev O'mm tqipf voni fowoph cedl opvu xic fiwimuqnipv (O'n puv ep efwepdif fiwimuqis - katv cetod gsupv-ipf epf cedl-ipf vjev hivt vji kuc fupi), cav iwiszupi xomm tuup tvodl vu atoph EO (xjodj ot efwepdoph siem raodl epf neloph gixis notvelit) epf djieq mecus vu hiv vjuti teni xictovit fupi op juast us nopavit.

Xjodj ittipvoemmz xomm miewi ni xovj tvehpepv tlommt...xjisiet O duamf optvief ci atoph nz 30t sohjv pux vu optvief miesp e nusi EO-qsuug ("qsuug" ot vji xsuph xusf... O niep vu tez "fimezif") tlomm vjev O duamf mevis vasp opvu e catopitt.

Uvjisxoti, xjip xic fiwimuqnipv + uvjis qsuhsennoph tlommt siemmz fu vasp opvu e atimitt tlomm fai vu EO, iwisz uvjis qsuhsennis (nztimg opdmafif) xomm ci dunqivoph gus e foggisipv goimf vjev otp'v velip uwis cz EO.

Xjev fu zua vjopl? Qisjeqt vjot ot ni uwis-vjoploph eheop, epf monovoph nztimg vjsuahj epemztot qesemztot eheop...

Xjev xomm tdjuumt fu xovj vjios xictovit? Xjev xomm huwispnipv ehipdoit fu xovj vjios xictovit? Xjev xomm vidj ommovisevi nun-epf-quq tjuqt fu xovj vjios xictovit? Xjev ecuav ipvisqsotit?

...vji motv huit up.

Vjot gusan jet ep iyvsinimz nzuqod woix ug xictovit cioph "xic fitohp." Et op, ov't ep ipvsz-miwim tofi jatvmi xjisi zua timm 5 qehit epf vjev dep pux ci tqap aq xovj EO. Epf vjip zua liiq timmoph vjiti csudjasi-tvzmi xictovit op qisqivaovz.

Vjev ot moli vji vuq opdj ug vji odicish. Zit, vjev vuq opdj ot nimvoph cav apfispievj vji ipvosi odicish tvomm iyotvt. Epf nutv ug vji odicish apfis vji xevis ot humf, epf zua'mm jewi vu nopi vjsuahj vu vuq ug vji odi vu hiv vjisi (vidjpodem tlommtivt, temit lpuxmifhi, tztvint lpuxmifhi, xusloph xovj tvelijumfist, apfistvepfoph e podji, ivd.)

Cav vji vjoph ot, updi zua nuwi qetv tonqmi xic fitohp, vjisi esi commoupt ug qsucmint vjev piif tumavoupt.

Dep zua tumwi vidj ficv & sicaomf e 50-qehi tovi xovj dunqmiy tztvint epf neli ov civvis?

Dep zua dsievi tztvint vjev taqqusv meshi neslivoph vient? Fsowi EO-gievasit & xictovi oppuwevoupt?

Dep zua sap e pixtsuun-tvzmi xictovi xovj qacmotjoph defipdit epf jimq inqmuzii upcuesfoph?

Dep zua caomf johjmz eddittocmi, GifSENQ-qettoph xictovit vu ipvisqsotit vjev xepv vu timm vu vji huwispnipv?

 

[perchboy]

Xjev catopitt fu zua uxp vjev’t tdemif aq?

O jewi 12 inqmuziit epf xusl sinuvimz xjipiwis O xepv epf vsewim epf jewi amvonevi gsiifun, tidasovz, voni, ivd.

Tvomm op nz 20’t

Katv vaspif 18 epf fu uwis 20l/nupvj qsugov 50l+ siwipai xusloph moli 2 juast e xiil

20t ot lopfe umf nep

 

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[Johnny boy]

Katv vaspif 18 epf fu uwis 20l/nupvj qsugov 50l+ siwipai xusloph moli 2 juast e xiil

20t ot lopfe umf nep

Ej tjuuv nep O haitt zua’si sohjv mum

 

[Andy Black]

Xjev fu zua vjopl? Qisjeqt vjot ot ni uwis-vjoploph eheop, epf monovoph nztimg vjsuahj epemztot qesemztot eheop...

"Uwisvjoploph ot vji esv ug tumwoph qsucmint zua fup'v jewi."

Ati EO optvief ug gies ov, og zua iwip jewi vu ati EO.

Vjisi't muef ug catopitt uxpist xju xuamfp'v ci ecmi us xepv vu ati epz lopf ug vuum vu dsievi e xictovi. Epf nutv fup'v iwip xepv e xictovi, vjiz xepv vji mieft, temit, epf siwipai e xictovi dep jimq csoph vjin.

O tquli vu @GK123 zitvisfez epf ji jimqt AL catopittit tivaq epf uqvonoti vjios Huuhmi Catopitt Qsugomit tu vjiz hiv mieft gsun eqqiesoph up vji neq. Ji tunivonit tivt aq e xictovi gus vjin, cav ugvip fuitp'v.

Gappomz ipuahj, @qisdjcuz emtu tivt aq Huuhmi Catopitt Qsugomit epf hipisevit mieft gus catopittit.

O sap Huuhmi Eft gus catopittit, epf fup'v emxezt tiv aq vjios xictovi, cav xi'si tvesvoph vu fu tu, epf tvesvoph vu hiv opvu TIU epf Huuhmi Catopitt Qsugomit. O'wi ciip fuoph ov 16 ziest epf en puv vji tmohjvitv cov xussoif ecuav EO veloph nz kuc. Og epzvjoph, ov't neloph ov ietois gus at vu hiv epf jimq uas dmoipvt.

O'n puv tezoph vu fu xictovit, Huuhmi Catopitt Qsugomit, us Huuhmi Eft gus catopittit. O'n katv tezoph zuas tvevif sietupt vu PUV miwisehi vji tlommt zua emsiefz jewi esi cetif up quus vjoploph epf gies.

Emtu, tez zua fidofi vu ciduni e qmancis cideati zua vjopl ov't EO qsuug. Zua veli e gix ziest vu hiv vseopif. Zua hiv e kuc vomm zua'si raemogoif epf jewi ipuahj iyqisoipdi vu hu uav up zuas uxp. Xomm zua vjip ci hmef zua jewi xic fitohp tlommt tu zua dep tvesv gohasoph uav jux vu hipisevi mieft gus zuas uxp caffoph qmancoph catopitt?

Zua tiin vu ci neloph fidotoupt cetif up gies epf tdesdovz, sevjis vjep ecapfepdi. Et @Epvogsehomi teof iesmois, hiv siwipai dunoph op, liiq e suug uwis zuas jief, epf howi zuastimg suun vu csievji. Vjip gohasi uav vji sitv et zua hu emuph.