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Is Marriage Part of the Script?

Discussion in 'General Mindset, Motivation, Beliefs' started by TKDTyler, Apr 12, 2018.

  1. Bryce R
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    Bryce R Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Marriage isn't part of the script, but the way weddings are "supposed" to be are.

    W/out sharing how my full view, I think marriage is there for focus (when you lack self control like me, nice to have a "release point anytime lol), but more importantly marriage is about sharing your life, your journey w/ your best friend/partner and setting an example for your offspring.

    My wife is my partner in everything we do. I'm young (30), been married 5 years, 1 kid, and having a family really does make you go to another level... As long as you don't use your family as an excuse to suck.

    But, marriage isn't for everyone. Some people are better off solo, and I'm sure it's easier for some to focus on building their vision if they don't need to make time for family and if they can keep their minds off chasing tail.

    Now, Spending a bunch of $ on weddings that you don't have for people to have a meal is dumb, is a more modern invention all about status (there's a great Adam Ruins Everything on this
    View: https://youtu.be/O5BeLinyfpg
    )

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N910A using Tapatalk
     
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  2. André G.
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    André G. Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I deeply encourage anyone pondering the question in the title of this thread to do the following...

    Read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.

    That advice is specially for you if you failed in a bunch of relationships or if you believe in soulmates, long distance relationships or the "you need to get married to be happy" myth imposed by the script.

    I believe every man should learn about the real dynamics of sexuality and relationships. Anyone who even asks "Is marriage part of the script?" has a great need for the information that is in that book.

    It's not about if marriage is part of the script, it's about knowing your options. You can be married or not married and be happy or miserable with both.
     
  3. hughs
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    I speculate it's one of those grass is always green type of things. has its pros and cons.

    personally I would get married if I was going to have kids, otherwise no
     
  4. JohnnyAppleseed
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    Finally the redpill has been entered into the forum. Guys before you do anything foolish you need to be watching MGTOW content on youtube. I stumbled onto it because I was disgusted with how my friends were being treated in the dating game and it's completely changed the way that I look at our modern society. Technology speaking things are awesome. Socially speaking things feel very lacking; at least after you start to consume this type of content:

    MEN 101
     
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  5. Kak
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    Yep. I can’t stress this enough. Weddings suck. I would have rather blown our wedding money on an even more ridiculous diamond than I already got her. It makes people uncomfortable as is, and I kind of like that.


    Interestingly, I read an article the other day... The three biggest times rational spending is thrown out the window due to emotional bullshit... Births, weddings and deaths. Force a level head at all times when it comes to money decisions.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2018
  6. Arun Siva
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    weddings can be culturally significant; in eastern cultures/traditions weddings are a huge deal. (maybe that is why divorce is less common there) yes there is obviously pomp and showy aspects of it, but cutlurally it is not part of the "script" IMHO for the majority in the east. In the west totally... it fits the mold. Spend spend spend and what makes matters worse is if it were to end in divorce then it ultimately a waste or a sunk cost.
     
  7. GDIBass
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    Ultimately the answer is "it depends." If you feel like it's the "next step," and not something you want to do then it's probably the script. Otherwise, if you want to do it, it's not the script.

    Also, is this forum really going down the MGTOW/Incel/Redpill path?
     
  8. Jadpapi
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    I will married my GF because she support every move I make, and she has the same mindset as me. It’s all about the mindset. Elon musk has been married and divorced with kids, it didn’t stop him from achieving anything.
     
  9. fhs8
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    My take is that I don't care whether or not something is "the script." I care about whether or not it benefits me and not hurt other people. If the script gives me what I want in life more than other ideas then I would choose the script.

    Whether or not someone should get married is subjective because people typically don't marry purely for financial reasons. Whether it makes financial sense is another story and depends on many factors such as taxes, laws, gender, age, race, and wealth.

    Here are some stats. I'll keep my commentary on this gender neutral. Only the facts mention gender. You should look at the facts then decide if marriage makes financial sense for you.

    Fact: 97% of US alimony recipients are female.
    Source: More men get alimony from their ex-wives

    Fact: 37.7% of US women made more than their husband in 2009.
    Source: https://www.bls.gov/cps/wlf-table25-2011.pdf
    (How are 97% of alimony recipients one gender if this is the case?)

    Fact: In 2011, 32% of custodial men didn't receive child support while 25% of custodial females didn't receive child support.
    Source: Are Moms Less Likely Than Dads To Pay Child Support?

    Fact: In 2013, 52.3% of custodial single females were awarded child support while 31.4% of custodial males were awarded child support.
    Source: https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2016/demo/P60-255.pdf

    Fact: A survey (and others) show that females initiate approximately 70% of divorces.
    Source: Women Initiate Divorce Much More Than Men, Here's Why
    (Law of control)

    Fact: Data shows that same sex female marriages are 2.5 times more likely to divorce than male marriages in England.
    Source: Female same-sex marriages more likely to end in divorce than male ones, figures reveal

    Fact: Estimates by some law firms put the average cost of divorce at around $15,000 to $30,000.
    Source: To Have And To Hold On To

    Fact: Some experts and reports show that the future projected divorce rate for marriages happening now should be around 40%-50%.
    Source: Steve Sweeney claims two-thirds of marriages end in divorce

    Also not mentioned is that many US states have provisions in the child support law that child support payments cannot be lowered below what a person has a substantial likelihood of earning. Which means that if you're paying child support and lose your job that doesn't mean child support payments may be lowered. The same can apply for a business owner. If your business goes south - too bad. Child support payments might also not be lowered for someone with a substantial amount of assets. So if you're paying child support for 15+ years you better hope that your income stays stable. There are however provisions in child support laws that child support payments may be increased if income increases.
    Source: 2010 Georgia Code :: TITLE 19 - DOMESTIC RELATIONS :: CHAPTER 6 - ALIMONY AND CHILD SUPPORT :: ARTICLE 1 - GENERAL PROVISIONS :: § 19-6-15 - Child support in final verdict or decree; guidelines for determining amount of award; continuation of duty to provide support; duration of support

    One more thing not mentioned is that if the noncustodial parent and custodial parent both share 50% time. The noncustodial parent will typically pay only slightly less child support than if the noncustodial parent 0% time. You would think that there wouldn't be child support since both share 50% time. How much time spent with a child means very little in terms of child support.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2018
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  10. JohnnyAppleseed
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    Well that's because it's not actually child support. Women consume at a much much higher rate than men. The idea behind these laws is to make women the "middle-men" who forcibly transfer men's money to the government, financial elite, and other businessmen.

    Women don't need a long term partner anymore as long as this arrangement is in place. That doesn't mean they don't want one but they definitely don't need one if they have the government.
     
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  11. shubham525
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    Lately I have been asking the same question.

    And I have found myself agreeing with Osho's sayings.

    Marriage Has Become a Battlefield

    “Marriage has failed because you could not rise to the standard that you were expecting of marriage, of the concept of marriage. You were brutal, you were, you were full of jealousies, you were full of lust; you had never known really what love is. In the name of love, you tried everything which is just the opposite of love: possessiveness, domination, power.

    “Marriage has become a battlefield where two persons are fighting for supremacy. Of course, the man has his own way: rough and more primitive. The woman has her own way: feminine, softer, a little more civilized, more subdued. But the situation is the same. Now psychologists are talking about marriage as an intimate enmity. And that’s what it has proved to be. Two enemies are living together pretending to be in love, expecting the other to give love; and the same is being expected by the other. Nobody is ready to give – nobody has it. How can you give love if you don’t have it?”


    Source - Osho Quotes on Marriage
     
  12. Shanell79
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    Marriage is part of the script when you look at it in the way it's been sold. Unless you are very religious and view marriage and sex purely for the sake of procreating then everyone else falls into the Hollywood version. The Hollywood version is what gets everyone bent out of shape when the reality of marriage sets in. Marriage is a business and must be viewed as such. To go into a binding legal agreement based off of looks, sex and other nonsense is crazy. You have to view it in a sense of are we capable of facilitating each others dreams? Achieving goals? Working towards the same life?, etc.

    When decisions are based on ideals such as oh, he/she is very attractive, great in bed, has a good job, your going to be the statistic. Would you go into a business partnership because the person is handsome or pretty? No. Would you go into a business partnership because you both like syfy movies? No. Marriage and the concept of it are much deeper than that. However we have been sold this pipe dream of surface level determinants and wonder why a year or two later it goes up in flames. Or wonder why things fly off the rails once kids are introduced. Then you find out your mate believes in corporal punishment and you don't. Or your mate wants 5 kids and you want one. Due diligence is important and usually brushed over today for the sake of "getting older", "biological clocks" and other doomsday speak.
     
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  13. G-Man
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    The upside to the irrationality of having kids is that there's a never ending supply of free sh*t people want out of their house. I don't think we've ever bought anything for my kid except food and diapers.
     
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  14. • nikita •
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    I'm not even in a relationship, but if I ever end up getting to the point of marriage, I want it to be as unofficial as possible. No stupid large dress, no dumb piano music, f*cking doves, pink invitations, speeches. The f*ck is that sh*t. You don't need a contract to stay together if you're in the right relationship

    My parents recently told me they wanted to get married in jeans and a tshirt but gave into the pressure of their own parents' demands lol
     
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  15. masterneme
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    I agree with what you say except that marriage IS in fact part of the script, created centuries ago by the ancient religions to control people.

    And some of them, which are active today, treat women as property.

    "Funny" enough those religions aren't being attacked by feminists...
     
  16. Thoelt53
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    Marriage today is very different than it was even a couple hundred years ago.

    Many moons ago, marriage was typically just a verbal agreement of sorts between and man and a woman. No ceremony or license was needed. The church/society (depending on the era) recognized this agreement as a valid marriage. At some points in history, cohabitation was all that was needed to form a marriage.

    Government involvement in marriage is a relatively recent development, and is a vital requirement of the bureaucracy. In the US, government regulation of marriage began with the Revenue Act of 1913 (go f*cking figure).
     
  17. Caroline888
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    I would say YES.
    True happiness comes from within... so why not to get madly in love and get married?!
    You are the writer of your own script...
    Ask yourself : What do I really want? ...and know that the truth is in the feeling.
    You are the actual witness of what is showing up in your life... just neutraly observe it...
    So YES love and marriage are the part of my script :)
     
  18. Ravens_Shadow
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    I'm getting married to an unscripted woman in just a few hours. I found someone that resonates with me and supports me in times of success and failure, both in business and in life. I support her in times of success and failure as well. I greatly look forward to improving our lives together and building upon the foundation we've already laid.

    Scripted? Maybe. Am I happy and content? Yup. Will/Are our lives be unscripted? You bet.
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2018
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    I believe this all depends on the couple. And some prefer conventional relationships and others unconventional relationships. Talking to eons of people all the time on relationships, I can tell you that it's also about education, consciousness (How aware you are), and if you're an Entrepreneur the mindset is quite different the average person, so this might make it more difficult, since not everyone is meant to be an Entrepreneur, nor has the same values, goals, morals, and ethics. You also have to consider what kind of Entrepreneur you are. Business, Social, Spiritual, and what is your intention and motivation with business. As this takes up your focus, attention, and time. Other people have to make sacrifices and if they're not in agreement with you goals, this causes a lot of conflict and complexity.

    Divorce is a huge issue for the simple reason people are not committed to long-term gains, and the bigger picture. It's self-gratification, short-term picture, and I hear people all the time say, I waited three weeks and I'm dumping them, or 6 months, a year. And this just isn't long-term relating skills. This is fast-food relating, and the outcome is always the negative.

    Relationships are quite time consuming. You have to do all your inner work just like Entrepreneurship. I think most people have your thinking about relationships, because they can't find healthy partners who are long-term and in it for the extra mile, versus short-term gains, short-term fixes, and rather not waste their time.
     
  20. Action Mike
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    Wow a lot of stuff in this thread. Here are a few things I think can help anyone asking this question or thinking about getting married.


    Marriage can be one of the best things you will ever experience in your life, the love, the companionship, the friendship, the good times you can have with someone you are compatible with are priceless and life changing in a fantastic way and can also help with any entrepreneurial ventures if they are supportive. Personality and sexual compatibility are very important. But…


    I don’t think marriage has to be officiated by the government


    In any relationship it will not be all rainbows and skittle farts. You do have to work at it and there is a flow of give and take and ups and downs even with someone you are compatible with. Much like building a business can be wonderful but there are some things you may not love dealing with but you do so you can move on to the good things.


    If someone finds themselves in a marriage and is miserable most of the time and they really don’t see a solution to fix the problems then there is no sense in staying in a marriage that makes you miserable.


    Having a monogamous relationship with a woman is so much better than a life full of one night stands, I know, I know, men across the board are saying *No way man, I love slaying all kinds of pussy* most of those guys slay one pussy, first name Rosy last name Palm, that looks like their hand :)


    Marriage is very important to raising kids in a stable environment.


    In the USA the legal system is heavily screwed, I mean skewed, in the woman’s favor especially if kids are involved. Which makes the next two points extremely important and should not be ignored.


    Making a long term commitment to someone especially getting officially married is one of if not the most important decision you can make in life. Don’t rush it, take your time and do your due diligence just like you would for a business venture.



    Take time to study psychology as it relates relationships and marriages. Study the mental conditions of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), also understand that most people show some traits of both disorders, you want to avoid the ones that show heavy signs of these disorders.



    IMO marriage (a long term monogamous relationship) is not part of the scrip but some things related to it are, such as going in to debt for a wedding ceremony, buying a house you can’t afford, a car you can’t afford, having kids right away, getting in heavy consumer debt etc.


    A wealthy person can buy a nice house and a nice car without it being considered scripted right. If they can afford it and it’s like an average Joe buying a blue tooth speaker at Wal-Mart.
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2018
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  22. Mattie
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    Personally I don't think it matters if your legally married, living together, in monogamous or polygamy. Human nature is filled with complexity, all the same emotions, thought process, nervous system, and digging in the deepest darkest fears of the subconscious mind. While we think of getting rid of institutional marriage or man-made laws, fortunately, this doesn't change the dominance versus submission of the animal mind, or lower consciousness. While higher consciousness people may make better choices out of maturity, still as Phil Zimbardo proved when you're in the right situations, conditions, and have power over others you can get out of control. Domestic Violence will occur regardless if you change the social labels, institution of marriage, and man-made laws. In actuality, if you got rid of monogamous relationships, you may have more violence, because specific men and women would be gravitated toward more than others swinging things out of balance, and of course survival of the fittest, you would be tapping into the deepest part of the subconscious mind of humanity, causing jealousy, anger, resentment, bitterness, and rage. In an idealistic or utopian world people want to believe the feminine theory, but fortunately, I believe there would be more inequality, more social issues with children, and who will pay for all this?

    We don't live in a tribal world where everyone hands you free food, free furniture, barters for food, clothing, shelter, and while I notice groups are pushing for this, woman are already killed every day, people go missing, and I get their trying to stop sadomasochism and masochism, but frankly, living in the wild wild west isn't exactly the best solution where anything goes. I'm probably ranting, because I hear people all the time believing this "Anything Goes" mentality, break all the rules, break all the barriers, and realistically, if you didn't have certain standards, rules, boundaries, men, women, and children would be killed every day because people would know they can get away with it.

    Anything goes can become quite dangerous on many levels. Yet of course, we have the 100% freedom to be our own individual self, versus relating with others. The problem is we need to understand we by human nature like to control, dominate, coerce, manipulate, own, and end up suffocating others, while too much freedom says anything goes, and people don't like being responsible. This comes down the physical health, spreading of disease and sickness on the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial level. History repeats itself in time. I believe they already tried many theories, concepts, and belief systems through out history, and many cultures return to monogamy, for the simple reason it tends to be less harmful in many different ways. Is there really a simple answer? There isn't. You can never get everyone on the planet on the same page all at the same time. And social groups determine what is acceptable and not acceptable, what is normal and abnormal, you can be too controlling and dominate, or you can be too lax and too much freedom, both can be harmful under the right conditions.
     
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  24. masterneme
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    I disagree with what he says, if a couple isn't intrinsically motivated to cooporate in harmony it will fail and marriage (extrinsic force to make them work together) won't fix that.

    The reality is that marriage makes people lazy. Men relax because they think they'll have "guaranteed effortless sex" and women use this as an advantage to manipulate their husbands.

    The intimacy disappears, the chemistry fades away and it becomes a war for dominance.

    Here in Spain more and more people choose to be in a Domestic partnership - Wikipedia and there's no evidence suggesting that marriage is better.
     

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