<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 29749" data-quote="Mr.C" data-source="post: 755211"
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I thought this might make for an interesting thread, in the vein of some other very valuable "lessons learned" threads we've seen here down through the years.<br />
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No two people on this forum have lived their lives in <b>precisely</b> the same way.<br />
Sure, some of us have a lot more experience than others (at 21, I'm younger than a lot of you reading this), but I believe that everyone has a message to share - they just need a platform...<br />
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So, here's your platform.<br />
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I'll kick things off.<br />
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If I could only pass on one lesson to you, it'd be this:<br />
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<b>You are not your thoughts. <br />
</b><br />
Trite? Perhaps.<br />
<br />
But powerful? Definitely.<br />
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One of the principal benefits you get from meditating is learning to exist in the space between stimulus and response. Between the impulse and action, you have a chance to observe what's happening and make an informed decision, rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion.<br />
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In business, we see people holding themselves back from ever even trying because they <b>think</b> that they're not good enough, that they're a failure, that they need to read these 16 books and listen to those 27 podcasts and subscribe to all those email lists first...<br />
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But these thoughts are just that.<br />
Thoughts.<br />
Nothing more than a cloud drifting across the sky of your conscious awareness. They are not who you are... unless you reach out, cling to them, and make them part of your identity.<br />
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Why do I know this?<br />
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<b>(Warning - possible overshare incoming)</b><br />
<br />
Back in late 2017, not for the first time in my life, I went through a bad mental health spell. Compulsive thoughts were nagging, nagging, nagging away at me. Without getting too detailed (that's not what this post is about), I was constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself physically... and worse.<br />
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At my lowest, I was having these thoughts 50-60 times a day, and I didn't really know what to do about it. Counselling was an idea, but I ended up on a two-week waiting list once they felt I wasn't an immediate risk.<br />
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By the time I got a call to say an appointment was available, the worst had passed, and I was on the way back up again... but I knew I had to be better prepared the next time around. For my own sake.<br />
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Weeks went by, and I reflected on the questions I'd been left with:<br />
How can I overcome this challenge?<br />
How can I ensure that I don't suffer from one of these bad spells again?<br />
How do I know it won't be worse next time?<br />
<br />
Journaling. Reading. Talking to people (professionals and otherwise). All played a part, and all helped to a degree...<br />
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But what helped me most was reflecting back on my experience during that bad spell, as painful as it was. In seeing how I had kept going then, I could learn to do so again in the future.<br />
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And there, in the midst of all that I wished to forget, I found the one truth that could save me.<br />
<b><br />
I was not my thoughts. </b><br />
<br />
Every impulse, every nagging image, every compulsive desire that rose up in me was not who I was.<br />
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This isn't dissociation. Running away from this kind of problem doesn't help (believe me, I tried).<br />
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This is about realizing your thoughts are a stimulus. Your response can be provoked by this stimulus... but only <b>you</b> choose what that response will be.<br />
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You can agree (if it serves you), or you can decline (if it doesn't). The choice is yours.<br />
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(Note: Please don't take any of this as victim-shaming, or trivialization of serious mental health issues. This is serious business, I understand that. This is just a mental framework that has helped me, among other things.)<br />
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I still get these thoughts sometimes (not as often), but they don't have the same power over me that they once did.<br />
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When they float up now, I recognize them for what they are - a stimulus, and nothing more.<br />
<b><br />
You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are a stimulus, and your response is your own. </b><br />
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*******<br />
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Looking forward to seeing the lessons you all have to share!
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I can relate to this. I used to fall prey to my obsessive thoughts and the compulsions to stop them -- usually by doing some inane rituals. You could say I have a bit of an OCD, but I've not been clinically diagnosed.<br />
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Anyway, the best thing is really to recognize that <b>these thoughts and emotions don't define you</b>. You always have a choice whether to act on them or not. I think, at this point, this is also the one lesson that I'd tell everyone here in the forum.<br />
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The good thing about this lesson is it allows you to have tremendous control over your influences. By recognizing that your some of your thoughts are not real, you can easily choose to let them go, not act on them. <br />
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Of course, I still struggle with this sometimes, especially with my fears, but it's easier to wait for the storm to pass when you know it eventually would.</div>
