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HOT TOPIC How to tell my slowlane parents about fastlane without making them sad about their wasted life?

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Galaxy16

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Hello, Fastlaners.
To administrators: I was unsure about the forum part to select for this post. If the forum category "Scripted dogma" fits better for the following post, please move it over there.

My father is 67 years old and lived off the slowlane.
He yet seems like a content person. That is because he does has not yet faced the naked truth.

He asked me, what the contents of "the millionaire fastlane" are, because he wonders why I love that book so much and what special things make me love it.

I carefully answered, to avoid personally hurting him about the fact that he lived off the slowlane J-O-B scam:

"A good income source is not chained to time, rather to performance, except for lazy people, who earn as much as the more hard-working JOBbers."

If he wants to know more about the DeMarco books, how do I either tell the truth without making him feel bad as a 67-year-old slowlaner, or alternatively hide the truth?
He can hardly start a fastlane at 67 yers of age, that's what I do.
But if he finds out, how he missed out on a better way of living, he will probably get very sad. I will however make sure, that the rest of his life will be as beautiful as possible.
 

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Galaxy16

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What's wrong with loaning him the book?

I can do that, so they may or may not read in my absence.
But I wonder, how they will cope with the fact that they burned their life on the slowlane.
 

Galaxy16

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I can do that, so they may or may not read in my absence.
But I wonder, how they will cope with the fact that they burned their life on the slowlane.
These aging-reverse stuff such as Calico,AgeUndo or however they are called, have not been released yet.
It is possible that scientists already know the secret to extended/unlimited life, and from their point of view, releasing it before we find a new habitable and resourceful planet would be no good idea.
 

jon.a

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Your attitude almost seems condescending.
Maybe he is content.
Maybe he will be happy for you and proud.
Maybe he's not dead yet and might want to be involved.
Maybe you haven't done much yet and have little cause to be so self righteous.
I would tell him that it's hard for a novice to explain and offer to loan him the book.
 

Supa

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When I read the title my answer was immediately „don‘t. Trying to explain it to someone who defends the job-life robbs you of energy you‘d better use for your way out of that type of life“ because a lot of these questions are about unsupportive family members or friends.

But then I read the rest of your post. And it‘s different from others of that kind. Since your dad seems sincerely interested in TMF.

So my advice, and it‘s nothing more than that, would be to tell him about the book. About MJ, and what he achieved. About others on this forum and what they achieved. Tell him that you want to achieve that type of life, too.

The Slowlane is not a bad thing in itself. A lot of people even enjoy that climbing of ladders in a career. But it‘s not for those with a Fastlane mindset. And it will never be.

You see things from a different perspective, and the life you want to live is none which the Slowlane leads to.

There are no age restrictions for a lane switch btw.

He may be happy with his life, but don‘t count him out from being able to read a book and see this other possibility besides what he has done. And who knows? Maybe he‘d love to get involved in a business or at least support you on your journey.

If he likes your summary of the book or your explanation of its premise, why not just give it to him, so he can have his own read and opinion of it?
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Just tell him the book is about winning your freedom early in life without having to wait until retirement at some god-forsaken age.

Everyone can relate to that.

Also, and this may be a shocker, your parents might be happy and might not want to hear advice from their son, much less some unknown author that CNN or CNBC never told them about.
 

MAU

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Hello, Fastlaners.
To administrators: I was unsure about the forum part to select for this post. If the forum category "Scripted dogma" fits better for the following post, please move it over there.

My father is 67 years old and lived off the slowlane.
He yet seems like a content person. That is because he does has not yet faced the naked truth.

There are alot of "Slowlaners" who are perfectly happy with their life, just like there are many "Fastlaners" that are miserable.
 

WestCoast

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I personally try to be really careful about attaching judgements to financial and business success.

I used to run around and tell friends and anyone: 'Omg, start your own business, it's amazing, only an idiot would work for someone else.'

I don't do that anymore. Everyone has to make their own bed, everyone has to live their own life.
While I agree 100% with the entire premise of Fastlane (and, more specifically, the Unscripted Life) there is NOTHING more annoying than having someone push their dogma on you. So I don't push mine on anyone.

If people ask, I am honest, but never enthusiastic. If they ask and push further, then I open up a bit to share my passion for business and being an entrepreneur.

But I don't judge people who are not passionate about it.
I used to, and that was a fools errand.

Your dad didn't 'waste his life' just because he had a Job. He gave birth to, and raised you.
He has created the ultimate value, as far as you should be concernced.

Share your passion? Yes, absolutely.
Enlighten him? If he wishes to be enlightened, by all means!

But, I would suggest not judging him, and also not feeling sorry for him.
He has lived his life and he doesn't need his son telling him he's pissed it away because he didn't do it a certain way.

Lead with love with him. That attracts curiosity and interest a lot more than dogma ever will.
 

MB2

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Hello, Fastlaners.
To administrators: I was unsure about the forum part to select for this post. If the forum category "Scripted dogma" fits better for the following post, please move it over there.

My father is 67 years old and lived off the slowlane.
He yet seems like a content person. That is because he does has not yet faced the naked truth.

He asked me, what the contents of "the millionaire fastlane" are, because he wonders why I love that book so much and what special things make me love it.

I carefully answered, to avoid personally hurting him about the fact that he lived off the slowlane J-O-B scam:

"A good income source is not chained to time, rather to performance, except for lazy people, who earn as much as the more hard-working JOBbers."

If he wants to know more about the DeMarco books, how do I either tell the truth without making him feel bad as a 67-year-old slowlaner, or alternatively hide the truth?
He can hardly start a fastlane at 67 yers of age, that's what I do.
But if he finds out, how he missed out on a better way of living, he will probably get very sad. I will however make sure, that the rest of his life will be as beautiful as possible.


I was in your shoes mate.Forget about it.Forget convincing him.He will never want to listen his son's advice which was what happened to me.Only your action could speak and convince your parents and all other scripted folks.Don't even try to say a word.Prove them wrong with your actions and let them taste your success when you win. Until then bust your butt.
 

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Last edited:

Kreativez

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Your whole post is so smug, not everyone has to adhere to the 'Fastlane' mindset. Some people are quite happy working 9-5, never taking their work home with them or the added financial pressures that come with running your own business.

Reading your post made me feel so dirty, I had to go take a shower to rub off the distaste. My Dad is content with his job, because it's all he knows and you know what, I have learned a lot through him and can thank him a lot for the way I think and operate today. Instead of focusing your hatred towards his mindset, focus on the way he brought you up, he is your Dad after all.
 

ZCP

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What if you ask him to read the book and if he could then give you any advice? Then shut up and listen.

This could be the beginning of a strong bond between you two as he helps you on your path.

Also, hit Wikipedia and study up on sunk cost...... :)
 

Xeon

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OP, if I were you, I would embark the Fastlane myself and give my dad a good life, not ask or convince him to change his mindset to embark on the Fastlane himself.

And to the best of my knowledge, it's hard to convince people who've been slowlaners their entire 70 yrs of life to suddenly switch to that mindset after reading a book or two.

Most of us who believed in the Fastlane stuff are either

I) felt something was off with the scripted life all along but needed confirmation

II) had a FTE

Update: Just to add, it's a lot easier to convince people if they see someone who's close to them actually succeed right in front of their eyes
 
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Galaxy16

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I really like your answer, Supa.

The Slowlane is not a bad thing in itself. A lot of people even enjoy that climbing of ladders in a career.

Yes, that's correct.
But my father might get sad knwoing that he missed out on a superior life experience.
Sorry, what does FTE stand for?
Just to add, it's a lot easier to convince people if they see someone who's close to them actually succeed right in front of their eyes
I will be very proud of that, and give my parents a wonderful life free from un-payaböe bills, rent, etc.
My father was satisfied with the slowlane, but he did not know the fastlane.
 

Xeon

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I really like your answer, Supa.



Yes, that's correct.
But my father might get sad knwoing that he missed out on a superior life experience.

Sorry, what does FTE stand for?

I will be very proud of that, and give my parents a wonderful life free from un-payaböe bills, rent, etc.
My father was satisfied with the slowlane, but he did not know the fastlane.

FTE = f*ck This Event

Not sure if it was mentioned in TMF but it was in Unscripted.
 

WJK

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Hello, Fastlaners.
To administrators: I was unsure about the forum part to select for this post. If the forum category "Scripted dogma" fits better for the following post, please move it over there.

My father is 67 years old and lived off the slowlane.
He yet seems like a content person. That is because he does has not yet faced the naked truth.

He asked me, what the contents of "the millionaire fastlane" are, because he wonders why I love that book so much and what special things make me love it.

I carefully answered, to avoid personally hurting him about the fact that he lived off the slowlane J-O-B scam:

"A good income source is not chained to time, rather to performance, except for lazy people, who earn as much as the more hard-working JOBbers."

If he wants to know more about the DeMarco books, how do I either tell the truth without making him feel bad as a 67-year-old slowlaner, or alternatively hide the truth?
He can hardly start a fastlane at 67 yers of age, that's what I do.
But if he finds out, how he missed out on a better way of living, he will probably get very sad. I will however make sure, that the rest of his life will be as beautiful as possible.
Give your parents a break!
This business model is a new thing that has come with the internet. I'm 64 and still learning. It wasn't available when I was younger, so how can I feel bad about not following a business model that didn't exist?

I became an adult in 1972, when women couldn't qualify for a loan to buy a house, have a credit card or a credit file. There had to be a man attached to do anything. The Fair Credit Act became law in 1974, and changed all of that.

We didn't have cell phones, computers, calculators, the internet either. The copy machine was a fairly new invention and so was color film and TV. It was a different world.

I'm VERY happy with the success I've created in my life -- both business and personal. For my generation, and being a woman of the era, I have led a "fastlane" life.
 

Galaxy16

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Give your parents a break!
This business model is a new thing that has come with the internet. I'm 64 and still learning. It wasn't available when I was younger, so how can I feel bad about not following a business model that didn't exist?

I became an adult in 1972, when women couldn't qualify for a loan to buy a house, have a credit card or a credit file. There had to be a man attached to do anything. The Fair Credit Act became law in 1974, and changed all of that.

We didn't have cell phones, computers, calculators, the internet either. The copy machine was a fairly new invention and so was color film and TV. It was a different world.

I'm VERY happy with the success I've created in my life -- both business and personal. For my generation, and being a woman of the era, I have led a "fastlane" life.
Good to hear, thanks.
 

Galaxy16

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OP, if I were you, I would embark the Fastlane myself and give my dad a good life, not ask or convince him to change his mindset to embark on the Fastlane himself.
That is what I do, yes.
I will be the hero to rescue my family out of financial restrictions, willing to be earning more than the rest of my family combined

But as already said, if he reads T.M.F., then he could get very upset.
 

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WJK

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That is what I do, yes.
I will be the hero to rescue my family out of financial restrictions, willing to be earning more than the rest of my family combined

But as already said, if he reads T.M.F., then he could get very upset.
No, he probably won't be upset. You say he "wasted" his life. I bet he won't see it that way at all. He'll be proud of you and probably worried about you wading into something he knows nothing about. Check your concern at the door and get out there. You have to create that success before you can wow him.
 

p0stscript

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I'd let him read the book, your dad is just ten years older than me and it has changed my life around already. Like you I'm still a novice but I know if a young person can do it why not a more mature person, why not a 67 year old? I didn't have Feck this event (FTE) as such but it was an epiphany, and whilst it's only a month already my family is seeing a change in me and benefitting from it. So I say let him read the books, what is there to lose?
 

Musashi

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Yes, that's correct.
But my father might get sad knwoing that he missed out on a superior life experience.

Wow, how arrogant. I would suggest to reread the book. Who exactly said the fastlane is superior? You make it sound like everyone could simply decide to switch to the fastlane and have a perfect live guaranteed.

What have you done so far that makes your life superior?

If you dad is a happy man, knowing about TMF won't change that.

And if your father would not be 67, I would bet my left arm you are 12-14 year old (just a side note).
 
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If your father is open to other perspective, you can give him the book so he can read it. If he is lazy to read, he can find videos on Youtube that give summary of the book or the audio version is an alternative.

But if the will do not come from himself, you will have a hard time to try to explain to him this vision of life. First people don't like things that is unknown and prefer to stay in their confort zone, so whatever you say, he is more likely to stay on his position, which is slowlane. This will depend on his personality and his open mindness. Second, since he is 67 years old, he is very deep inside the script dogma, and I think that if you have made all your life like this, it won't be easy to get out of it.

After, if you are going for the fastlane, what you hope for is that your father do not slow you down in your journey. So even if he stay on his position, if he understands and accepts what you are doing, it's a great situation already. Some parents can be more strict and oblige they children to follow a slowlane path (because they think is what is best for you).
 

johnp

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I carefully answered, to avoid personally hurting him about the fact that he lived off the slowlane J-O-B scam:

I was in the same boat. My dad worked the same job for 40+ years. Retired with a little more than a million in his pension.

So, I basically explained to him that he won the lottery because he enjoyed his job, retired with money, and didn't drop dead in the process. I went on to explain that I probably won't be so lucky with the whole slowlane thing. That worked.

On another note, jobs can be a great resource for two reasons:

1) They give you cash flow to invest into your business.

2) If you pick the right job, then you can skill up fast.

For example, I quit my 3-4 different jobs before finally deciding to pick a job that would give me the marketing skills that I need to build a business online. 1.5 years later at the same marketing job, I finally feel like I have skills that nobody can take away.

So yea, maybe a job is a scam, but you can also use it to your advantage on your journey in the fastlane.
 

Galaxy16

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Wow...are you really trying to say that you are unable to explain the book without making your father feel small? That’s very sad.


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You guessed it.
I know, it is tragic.
 

ljean

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It sounds like you need a reality check; if you were my kid I'd slap you around a bit. What have you accomplished that makes you so superior??
 

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