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How to respond to needy people? **Pics**

A post of a ranting nature...

Evil_Jester

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They will start off with a compliment. I say thanks. Then they slowly drop the bomb.
How do you save your time while not pissing off a fan? Do you ignore completely when they ask? Do you give cold love? Or do you appease? I don't have that many followers yet so I still respond to dm's

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Marley T

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Personally I would probably ignore the dude but I've never actually been in that exact position.

Maybe meet him half way and tell him if he can reach something like 2k followers by himself you can then give each other a shout out.

If someone handed me 10,000 pounds I would feel guilty if I didn't help someone else with it too, but if I worked day in day out for 10,000 pounds and someone asked me for some just because I would probably feel slightly disrespected.

Hope this helped.
 

Andy Black

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It’s interesting. I’ve PM’d nearly 2,000 people in this forum, and not once has anyone been needy. Everyone respects my time, and if they ask a question I point them to a helpful thread.

Partly that must be down to the quality of folks who join TFLF.

But maybe it’s partly down to how I communicate with folks?

In your example, what would have happened if you directed that person to an article on how to grow to 10k subscribers?
 

Evil_Jester

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Maybe meet him half way and tell him if he can reach something like 2k followers by himself you can then give each other a shout out.
I've helped ppl out before and they feel like they own you after that. I learned my lesson the hard way haha.
 
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Evil_Jester

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In your example, what would have happened if you directed that person to an article on how to grow to 10k subscribers?
I left out half the conversation where I told him what to do. I think he literally wants me to give up my life to help him.
 

Marley T

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Yea I feel you.

I think Andys comment was spot on, like he said maybe sharing a video that inspired you could help him just as well.

Haven't quite figured out how to quote other people in my replays yet lol.
 

jon.a

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Yea I feel you.

I think Andys comment was spot on, like he said maybe sharing a video that inspired you could help him just as well.

Haven't quite figured out how to quote other people in my replays yet lol.
Click on the reply button
 
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Andy Black

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I left out half the conversation where I told him what to do. I think he literally wants me to give up my life to help him.
Gosh. I don’t know what I’d do tbh.

The main reason folks in TFLF aren’t like that is that they probably have a bit more about them. They don’t have an entitlement mindset.

If someone kept coming back after not taking the hint then I’d probably just stop replying.


EDIT: I’m so glad I’m in B2B...
 

MJ DeMarco

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They will start off with a compliment. I say thanks.

Then they slowly drop the bomb.

Did you see mine in the meme thread?

At least they gave you a compliment. Sometimes they don't even do that...

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Strive

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Tell him you can't help him for free, but that you're happy to consult if he pays you $$$.

Easiest way to never hear from people like that again is to tell them you're not going to hold their hand and that they'll have to actually have some skin in the game to be successful.
 

Andy Black

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Tell him you can't help him for free, but that you're happy to consult if he pays you $$$.

Easiest way to never hear from people like that again is to tell them you're not going to hold their hand and that they'll have to actually have some skin in the game to be successful.
Oh yes. Great idea. Send them to a page where they can book a consultation with you.

I have a course now, so I could send folks there I suppose...
 

Strive

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At least they gave you a compliment. Sometimes they don't even do that...

Did you see mine in the meme thread?

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Lol... I've heard of "lottery mindsets" but this is so dumb it's mind blowing that it's a real message not intended as a joke. Truth is stranger than fiction I guess
 
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Evil_Jester

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Did you see mine in the meme thread?

At least they gave you a compliment. Sometimes they don't even do that...

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Yeah I saw that. That was even more comical, I couldn't tell if he was joking!
 

Evil_Jester

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I've noticed it's a cultural thing too. Most people who do this to me are from outside the US and they had to learn to be pushy
 

Argue

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I would put a disclaimer and let people know that you can consult only for a price.

Maybe give a 15 minute free consultation, then charge by the hour. Sometimes you gotta be blunt.

Your time is valuable. Your time is an asset, and time is money. People who are serious will pay for your time. Facts.

That guy is a stalker. I would block him ASAP. That’s just me tho.
 
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WJK

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I think that all of us have had a similar experience -- being approached and targeted by a mooch. If it's a real need, that one thing. A mooch is a person who wants to basically use me and my assets. They're always taking without giving.

I usually try to turn it around on them. I just use their request to make a request from them. I tell them that I'm so glad that they've showed up. I need their help with ________. I ask if they can stick around for a hour or two to help out.

If they continue to ask for my help, I tell them that we have to finish my project first. If they're a mooch, they usually run away really fast.
 

Xeon

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You: Go install Everliker bro
 
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Fox

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As others have mentioned I would make either have a paid or unpaid guide. I’m not sure what your platform is but maybe you could do a fab Q and A either. If this guy is thinking it then so are others. You can charge them x dollars, do it in return for an email address or share, or do it for completely for free. But use it to build your own platform while giving back at the same time.

Call it in the “grow your following without sending needy DMs” guide
 

masterneme

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I'd make a 5-10 minutes video speaking about the topic and direct him and future people to it.

He gets what he wants, you get what you want and probably some potential extra views from more people interested on the topic, it's win-win-win.

And if after watching the video someone still insists you'd be totally certain that that person is a time waster and you'd be guilty free to ignore/block him.

Well, if enough people insist you'd have and opportunity appearing right there.

Did you see mine in the meme thread?

At least they gave you a compliment. Sometimes they don't even do that...

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WHAT. THE. F**K. Is this for real?
 

Dave Daily

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@Evil_Jester — It's pretty awesome that people want your help. And...it's sucky that they don't want to compensate your for it. I like @masterneme's suggestion. You've got a problem, so create a product for others that (hopefully) solves your problem and gets you more loyal customers.
 
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Andy Black

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Bhanu

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Personally I would have made a complex questionnaire and made that person complete it .If that person genuinely needed help he would complete it if he is a time waster he would simply run away .
Idea is to make him approaching you difficult, if the person is genuine and really need help he will overcome difficulty if he is not he won't.
M J's Process and Event philosophy :)
 

Ray Goslin

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Make them qualify. It's been my experience too many times that if they get it for free, they don't value it. They are also the most demanding, high maintenance people to deal with. Like, "yeah that's great, can you give me a bit more." There is no EXCHANGE of value.

A guy on LinkedIn approached me, (calling himself an entrepreneur), saying he would love to have me coach him. I told him to email me with what his goals were, and what he was wanting to achieve going forward. The qualification for him was that I would work out a programme and consultations for him and what the fee would be.

Never heard from him. Geeeez, I wonder why. They're parasites who are clueless as to why they don't get ahead.
 

Arrived2015

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[...]
How do you save your time while not pissing off a fan? [...]
You seem to be mixing a 'fan' with a 'leech' (or thief if a better word)

Two separate peeps!

A real 'fan' is just that; a fan who values the 1440mins you both get allocated each day!

A leech (or time thief) doesnt!

Remember, we all get 1440 mins a day to pack in all the essential and non-essential activities.

That's right!

Even the animal kingdom, leeches and time thieves get the same mins as you.

So answering your question, I'd suggest what Strive has said​

Tell him you can't help him for free, but that you're happy to consult if he pays you $$$. Easiest way to never hear from people like that again [...]

Make sure the $$$ equates to at least $$$$+ for one hour (or half hour or perhaps 15mins?)

Dont forget the "So when should I schedule you in?" bit

Reminds me of the saying: "The quickest way to lose a 'friend' is to lend them money"

Friend, leech, fan, (whatever) teach them you place a value on your time (even if they dont) and charge a time fee.

Even when you show them a webpage, vid, course or podcast, 99% sure they'll be back with more questions. Next thing you know - they've gotcha! (as you mentioned)

So best dont start the handholding, if can see will end up handholding for weeks to come

Will be FREE to them but a cost to you:blank:

PS: No need to ignore (considered rude in my view) Let them leave you - not you them.

How?

Charge for having some of your allocated 1440mins.

PPS: Yes. I typed such a response as a pet peeve of mine

Grrrrr...​
 
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biophase

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Personally I would have made a complex questionnaire and made that person complete it.

Lol

Make a questionnaire that never ends. One that has one question per page and a next button only.

Or make it 500 questions long and at the very last page just put, sorry you didn’t qualify.
 

GoGetter24

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At least they gave you a compliment. Sometimes they don't even do that...
Even more comical is that they don't even bother to write the message properly. Like not only is their 'play' sending messages to winners asking for free help, but they won't even invest the minuscule effort to write a properly formatted message. Human garbage.

@Evil_Jester just choose one of "No", an ultimatum (if you give X I'll give Y, no other deal), or hit the block button. If you start feeding parasites now, you're already done. If they give off any vibe of parasitism, hit the block button and delete them from existence. You can't and shouldn't reason with these people, any more than you should with a leech. That guy is a parasite, and you should've hit block immediately.

And the ideas about "make him an offer" are wrong. Does that sound like a guy with something to offer? What are the odds a working relationship with that guy will yield well for you?

That person doesn't exist.
 
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