The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success

RANT How NOT to write a cold email - for digital marketers

Remove ads while supporting the Unscripted philosophy...become an INSIDER.

lowtek

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Oct 3, 2015
1,911
6,266
1,480
38
Phoenix, AZ
On LinkedIn I get a fair amount of connection requests from web dev types (no offense to you guys <3 ), and invariably I get spammed with an email or direct message within 24 hours of accepting their request. These emails run the gamut from bad to terrible, but one has stood out as being particularly bad. I'll relay it here:

Hello,

Now that we are connected I wanted to tell you more about who I am.

I'm an entrepreneur, tra-digital marketer and CEO of XXX . XXX is a tra-digital advertising agency that blends digital with traditional to achieve better results. I have worked with over 2,500 clients strategizing, implementing, analyzing and optimizing successful marketing campaigns and I want to do this for you too.

Some of my results include:

* Helping a failing online education company emerge as a $100M company
* Responsible for cracking the code behind optimizing traditional media which has helped grow business’s by a 10x factor.
* I've grown agencies paid media budgets by 3x and have managed over $1,000,000 in monthly ad spend.
* Interviewed successful founders, CEOs, and entrepreneurs for Net Growth Now, a top-ranked author on search engine journal, website magazine, search marketing standard, pingzine and many more while infusing those lessons into clients’ businesses
* I'm the host of TraDigital Academy, a podcast which teaches traditional and digital marketing to aspiring advertisers.
* I have over sixty 5 star testimonials on my linkedin account from people like Neil Patel, Rand Fishkin from Moz and many more.

I'm not bragging, I'm applying for a job. I want to work with you and help grow your business by growth hacking it to the next level.

In fact I want to give you a free copy of my new book I wrote called "how to skyrocket your sales using snapchat ads" . I spent over $45k to discover how to drive quality leads for under $3 using snapchat ads for the credit repair and home financing vertical. These tactics can be applied to any industry and vertical and is a valuable tool to crush it in your 2019 marketing efforts.

If any of this resonates with you please contact me for a complimentary strategy call on how to growth hack your business.

Sincerely,
Dooshey McGobble

Why is this terrible, you may ask?

It's totally "me" centered. This guy loves himself, and it shows. He thinks he's incredible. He thinks he's the greatest thing to digital marketing since the invention of back links. The only problem?

It's total BS. 60 reviews? Try only 41. Yeah, I checked. From Neil Patel? Not a chance, though to be fair, he does have one from Rand Fishkin.

You'd think a big time baller that gets endorsed by Neil Patel would have a strong media presence, yeah?

Try again. No Facebook page that I could find.

Well since we met on LinkedIn, surely his game is strong. 13 followers for his business page... OK, I guess we all have to start somewhere.

YouTube, maybe? 3 subs with just as many videos. Hmmmm...

Surely he's a Warlord of Twitter...? Nah, only 40 followers and NO tweets.

But he's a CEO of a business that manages $1,000,000 a month in ad spend... surely that must mean he has a team of employees, right? Only 2 employees on LinkedIn, and 1 of them is credited as being the bartender, the other is a "brand ambassador" who works for a dozen other ... brands.

Definitely a professional.

Folks, writing cold email when you're trying to build a service business isn't a sin.

Lying your a$$ off in a desperate attempt to get attention is most definitely a sin.

Make sure your cold emails are short, YOU focused, and truthful. And don't call yourself a CEO if you manage a bartender.
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

OP
OP
lowtek

lowtek

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Oct 3, 2015
1,911
6,266
1,480
38
Phoenix, AZ
found his facebook for you just in case :) (don't ask me how)
AH, it's under his personal name rather than his "business", of which he's a CEO.

I went looking for the business name because I clicked on the social link from the business website, and it leads to a page that doesn't exist.
 

ZF Lee

Platinum Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 27, 2016
2,339
4,130
1,026
22
Malaysia
On LinkedIn I get a fair amount of connection requests from web dev types (no offense to you guys <3 ), and invariably I get spammed with an email or direct message within 24 hours of accepting their request. These emails run the gamut from bad to terrible, but one has stood out as being particularly bad. I'll relay it here:

Hello,

Now that we are connected I wanted to tell you more about who I am.

I'm an entrepreneur, tra-digital marketer and CEO of XXX . XXX is a tra-digital advertising agency that blends digital with traditional to achieve better results. I have worked with over 2,500 clients strategizing, implementing, analyzing and optimizing successful marketing campaigns and I want to do this for you too.

Some of my results include:

* Helping a failing online education company emerge as a $100M company
* Responsible for cracking the code behind optimizing traditional media which has helped grow business’s by a 10x factor.
* I've grown agencies paid media budgets by 3x and have managed over $1,000,000 in monthly ad spend.
* Interviewed successful founders, CEOs, and entrepreneurs for Net Growth Now, a top-ranked author on search engine journal, website magazine, search marketing standard, pingzine and many more while infusing those lessons into clients’ businesses
* I'm the host of TraDigital Academy, a podcast which teaches traditional and digital marketing to aspiring advertisers.
* I have over sixty 5 star testimonials on my linkedin account from people like Neil Patel, Rand Fishkin from Moz and many more.

I'm not bragging, I'm applying for a job. I want to work with you and help grow your business by growth hacking it to the next level.

In fact I want to give you a free copy of my new book I wrote called "how to skyrocket your sales using snapchat ads" . I spent over $45k to discover how to drive quality leads for under $3 using snapchat ads for the credit repair and home financing vertical. These tactics can be applied to any industry and vertical and is a valuable tool to crush it in your 2019 marketing efforts.

If any of this resonates with you please contact me for a complimentary strategy call on how to growth hack your business.

Sincerely,
Dooshey McGobble

Why is this terrible, you may ask?

It's totally "me" centered. This guy loves himself, and it shows. He thinks he's incredible. He thinks he's the greatest thing to digital marketing since the invention of back links. The only problem?

It's total BS. 60 reviews? Try only 41. Yeah, I checked. From Neil Patel? Not a chance, though to be fair, he does have one from Rand Fishkin.

You'd think a big time baller that gets endorsed by Neil Patel would have a strong media presence, yeah?

Try again. No Facebook page that I could find.

Well since we met on LinkedIn, surely his game is strong. 13 followers for his business page... OK, I guess we all have to start somewhere.

YouTube, maybe? 3 subs with just as many videos. Hmmmm...

Surely he's a Warlord of Twitter...? Nah, only 40 followers and NO tweets.

But he's a CEO of a business that manages $1,000,000 a month in ad spend... surely that must mean he has a team of employees, right? Only 2 employees on LinkedIn, and 1 of them is credited as being the bartender, the other is a "brand ambassador" who works for a dozen other ... brands.

Definitely a professional.

Folks, writing cold email when you're trying to build a service business isn't a sin.

Lying your a$$ off in a desperate attempt to get attention is most definitely a sin.

Make sure your cold emails are short, YOU focused, and truthful. And don't call yourself a CEO if you manage a bartender.
Yup, the guy talked too much smoke and mirrors!

I just finished a cover letter for an Upwork client who needs to get find a job at a new firm.

Steps:
1. Find 1-2 problems the client/firm is facing
2. You can find these problems in the job description, social media page or LinkedIn

Even better, if they have poor reviews by customers, that is where you can hit on to help them win the customers back.

3. Pick the most relevant of achievements to fit those problems.

E.g for my client, one of the key problems her prospective firm was facing was to build a fundraising platform from scratch.

Since my client had experience adding a donation web page to one of her past companies she worked for...

...I simply added that in.

Paragraph on that was only 2 sentences long.

I don't think the free book was needed though.
My only samples used to win jobs have been as short as half-a-page snapshot of a past work. I'd reserve more of my skill for the real job, should they agree to work with me.
 

Andy Black

Dad, husband, entrepreneur.
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
May 20, 2014
11,115
44,900
4,306
Ireland
How would you say hello to someone at the coffee break when you’re attending a business course with other business owners?

Do that. Stop with all this awkward throat clearing and value vomiting.

Stop trying so hard to be a “good salesman”. Just be natural and build relationships like you’ve done all your life.
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Sponsored Offers

  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Fox' Web School's "Legend" Group Coaching Program 2020
For those with the "can web design be Fastlane" question this video by @MJ DeMarco is a great...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE You Are One Call Away From Living Your Dream Life - LightHouse’s Accountability Program ⚡
Just got off the phone with @LightHouse. Having just a 45 minute conversation with him has...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Kill Bigger Incubator
@Kak Out of curiosity, what types of businesses are you advising on? (I read this whole thread...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Lex DeVille's - Advanced Freelance Udemy Courses!
Just bought 5 of your Upwork courses. Thanks for making valuable content Lex!
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Grow Your Business With a Book (An Unorthodox Marketing Strategy That Built One of the Largest...
Thanks for your offer to look at my book. Here's the link to the squeeze page Buy The Prosperous...



Forum Sponsor

sponsor

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Monthly conference calls with doers
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top Bottom