How do you become a happy person?

[100ToOne]

I agree with whoever said it's about progress. In every part of your life.
Try and become better than the past month in every thing you do.
Spirituality. Financially. Knowledge. Network/Relationships. Skills. Health. etc. etc.

Being happy is not a permanent state of mind/soul. It goes up and down. Just like faith. Just like everything in this world. The secret is to keep feeding your mind/soul/self methods to increase in the progress journey towards more happiness.

 

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[TonyStark]

Fulfill your goals

 

[BellaPippin]

BRAH nobody knows what they want at 24. I thought graphic design was my thing when I finished high school, like, TOTALLY CONVINCED. Nah. I wanted to travel the world. I mean I liked design, I liked art, but I couldn't see myself working at an agency or w.e in exchange for living money. I think the only thing I knew for sure (but really didn't know yet, I just had the feeling inside) is that jobs suck. Say it with me. JOBS SUCK. a$$. CACA.

Between 20-today (29 IFYOUNEEDTOKNOW-UGH) what I wanted/my super-duper project/ what I thought my purpose in life changed muuultiple times. Does it mean I failed? NAH! I changed my mind. I wasn't what I wanted. So?
I mean look Harrison Ford wasn't Indiana Jones until he was how many years old? Mmmm Harrison Ford.

Point being-- just keep trying stuff, there's no deadline. Don't put yourself a deadline, don't put your youth a deadline either. You're NOT failing I repeat you are NOT failing. You are crossing out the things that you don't like. That is VERY DIFFERENT.

 

[Rescripting]

24 years old and asking important questions. Your on the right track and surrounded by people who are willing to help from all walks of life.

My advice:
Take risks - your young and got nothing to lose
Find something hard most people wont do - opportunity looks a lot like hard work
Ride a bike everywhere - Its great exercise, practically free, and makes you appreciate the world.
Help someone- Just to see the appreciation
Find a positive feed back loop - Make a forum post and post everyday of how you made one step (no matter how small) towards your goal

Good Luck! and keep moving

 

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[lejus]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFW_4MWs5wM


Dude happiness is not connected to your achievement levels it is a state of mind, if you want to be happier meditate 1 hour every day it should do the trick.

As for achievements you are only 24 I had nothing going when I was 24 I wouldn't worry, just start doing something, whatever and keep doing it for next 5 -10 years and if it won't work after that time then pivot. Switching from job to job, business to business, udemy course to another won't do the trick, you won't find holy grail tomorrow that will just solve all your problems, it's a grind and you have to work for it. For some ppl magic happens after a year for some after 10, but whether it is happiness, money, own place, new job, whatever it is you have to work for it, daily, without excuses. Seems like you overthink things a lot too, if you want to live abroad where it's cheaper just get few hundred dollars and go there, what it worst case scenario? You will have to hitchhike your way back home with few hundred bucks less? At least you will have a story to tell your grandchildren, how you travel half of the world with few hundred in your pocket.

 

[James Klymus]

First off, Since you said you read, I would check out eckhart tolle's books like the Power of Now. I listen to it on audio book on walks.

I think it would help you to become more present in the moment. Be thankful that you have a roof over your head, food, warm water, a girlfriend and loving friends and family. Read/listen to his material and it will all make more sense.

Also, I think you are mistaking purpose with happiness. A lot of people think these things go hand in hand, but they don't necessarily. Sure if you feel like you're connected with a community and have a purpose, you'll probably be happy. But there are multiple CEO's who you would assume would be happy but aren't.

Elon musk for example, divorced the same woman twice, works 120hr weeks, almost worked him self to death when he had malaria, and can barely make time for friends and family and even sleep.

Your job or business also have almost nothing to do with happiness. High achievement doesn't = happiness. You could be completely happy and content with your life while sitting on a park bench on a summers day, while living in a one bedroom flat making $40,000 a year.

And you could be a miserable entrepreneur who has a mansion, 10 cars, the hottest wife.

Also remember that happiness, like all other emotions, is a fleeting thing. It changes day to day , even minute to minute. Like sadness, anger, excitement and all other feelings and emotions, it ebbs and flows over time. Kind of ironic that becoming a "happy person" is realizing that you won't always be happy.

I think part of why you "cant find happiness" is because you're comparing your self to societies model of success and achievement. You're desperate to find a career, move out, because you're afraid people will think you're a loser or a failure. That's the fast lane to unhappiness. You need to let go of that, you're on your own unique path.

You're putting a lot of stress and pressure on your self to figure out what you want in life. You feel like you should know all of the answers by now, and if you dont figure it out soon you'll spiral out of control and wind up a failure. It's a life long journey, and a lot of happiness will come from being present.

You're already in the right spot, You're asking questions and thinking bigger in life. You're self aware and willing to learn and educate your self, and that's more than most people are capable of.

 

[Saiful]

Make someone happy and you will eventually become happy. Try it!

 

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[MaxGorlov]

I think the above practical solutions were all good. I'd like to suggest some things in terms of mentality.

First of all, perhaps happiness is not a great goal. It's fleeting and temporary at best; you can never be permanently happy. A better goal could be:

- Service
- Adventure

These things make better targets than happiness. If you dedicate yourself to providing value to other people, what you'll find is that putting a smile on their faces makes YOU feel good. Happiness is a bit elusive, but doing meaningful things that are genuinely kind and useful for other people actually winds up making you happy too. Karma, I suppose. This could be a business that provides enormous value to its customers, or volunteering, or even just helping out your parents by tidying the house for them. Instead of asking, 'how do I be happy', try asking, 'how can I bring happiness to the people around me'? You will then feel better by default.

Secondly, adventure is a good goal because it's more flexible than 'happiness'. Happiness is a temporary sense of wellbeing and joy; it's gone as soon as something unlucky, unpleasant or uncomfortable happens (which is often). Adventure, on the other hand, allows you to feel a range of emotions in the pursuit of something grander than just 'happiness'. Be like Frodo or Batman or Odysseus. They're not always happy in their stories, but if they were it would be boring. Rather, they encounter a range of feelings as they pursue a greater goal; all of those emotions make their stories rich and meaningful. Your life ought to approximate a rich, varied, meaningful adventure, a narrative, as opposed to a 'happy' slip down an easy slide.

Just my two cents Do your best buddy!

 

[MaxGorlov]

We need a 'The Happiness Fastlane' next. Or 'The Health Fastlane', 'The Dating Fastlane'... Someone write em!

 

[Danny Sullivan]

There's so much good advice in here that there's not much to add to it, besides something that's overlooked by the majority of people all the time: Mental hygiene.

This TED Talk might explain what's meant by that.

You can also write down a number of things you want to try in your life. The more experiences you gather, the wider your look on life itself will become and the more things you will be able to spot that provide satisfaction to you and / or provide a way to make an income out of it.

Here are some things that i wrote down for myself:

- Eating healthy (vegan, just in case that it matters)
- Working out 3-4 times a week
- Running at least 4-5 miles per week
- Running at least 4-5 miles per week with a dog (optional)
- Swimming at least once a week
- Taking dogs from animal shelters for a walk, once a week
- Reading at least 30-60 minutes each day
- Learn a new language (sign-language, mandarin, french, spanish, russian, italian, arabic)
- Learn about dividend investing and option trading
- Helping out on farms on a regular basis
- Climbing
- Archery
- Smithing
- Carpentry | working with wood in general
- Riding a horse
- Play the guitar
- Learn how to throw an axe accurately without hurting myself or anyone else
- Kickboxing / boxing
- Paragliding
- Diving

So everytime your mind gets bored and wants to trick you into playing videogames for a while, you got a nice list to look up on and decide what you can do right now to conquer the urge to play games.

I played videogames on a daily basis, although it's been quite a while. I bought a new game some time ago, which i was eager to play and ease my mind with. I played it like 1 hour, 4 months ago. Because i also had this list that was on my mind.

Best of luck to you.

 

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[DigitalMastery]

By being a happy person, two of the most powerful words on the universe "I am"

View: https://youtu.be/QMz4Y4YIaDY

Jack Canfield teaches in this video simple exercise that you can use anywhere you are.

You are not your thoughts, you are the person witnessing your thoughts.

 

[ShamanKing]

Don't base your happyness on anything besides yourself. Not your partner, car, house, money. It also eliminates expectations.

PS: my favorite movie is "Pursuit of Happyness"

 

[Devampre]

** PLEASE IGNORE ALL MY PREVIOUS POSTS **

I want to start off with that. It was all stuff that came in to my mind and I thought 'oh, I can make money that way'. I finally realize the main goal should not be money. It's a 'reward' for delivering help to the needed.

I'm 24, no job and living at my parents place.
I'm happy in my personal life, got a girlfriend, family and kind friends.
But on the other side.. I've tried multiple studies, jobs and tried to launch multiple own business but it all ended up in a horrible feeling 'this isn't it.. this is not the thing which is going to make you happy'.

I've been fighting against it since I was around 17/18 years old and it never really got any better.
I have NO clue what I want! What I enjoy the most, what I want to do for a living, what my interests are (I guess gaming isn't a thing to get going). Besides having a good time with my girlfriend I play videogames and that's it... I know I should DO more but I've no clue on what.. I tried multiple Udemy courses in different niches, took several jobs, different studies etc and it all ended up; I'm not happy.

I'm really close to giving up on all and just accept my fate I won't accomplish something in my life what is going to make me truly happy or give me a reason to wake up with a smile.

Really desperate and kind of finding my solution here.. so please don't be too harsh on me.. I really need help to get out of this unhappy circle and become a happy human being.

I can relate (I'm also 24 living with my parents. But, no girlfriend. And kind, but SCRIPTED friends.)

I too have struggled in life (bad relationships, leaving unfulfilling jobs, wishing death to all life on this planet, etc). But, I eventually understood that happiness is not something to get or achieve. It is a moment that, like all things, won't last. The important thing here to remember is that you can change your lifestyle to get more frequent experiences of happiness.

People will recommend many different things here (more exercise, better diet, new friends, etc.) And these do have benefit. But, don't dread on not being "happy." No one is happy at all times. Even the Dalai Llama probably has little "F*ck this" moments. It doesn't mean that he's not "happy," it means that he's human.

Understand that there is nothing wrong with this. But, working toward bettering ones lifestyle seems to be a psychologically beneficial distraction for inevitable unhappiness. The initial changes for improvement will be greeted by resistance. And resistance is to be expected. The cure is action and momentum which isn't necessarily a perfect cure. However, dread and woes do nothing. Relapsing into the comfort of despair is seemingly the latest fashion for generations like ours.

Anyways, I could go off for hours about this. And there's some other great replies in this thread that'll probably say essentially what I am trying to communicate. Keep your chin up and remember that this feeling is temporary. I wish you well.

 

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