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INTRO How could I have been so stupid

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Kickflips

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Apr 4, 2020
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I have always been a diligent tightwad. No eating out, cheap phone plan, budget brand nappies for the baby (yes, I hate myself), spreadsheets, trackers and all the compound interest calculations a guy could ever ask for.

It was all going great until my stinginess was caught in the light of day and I saw it for what it really was.

Picture the scene - Young professional. Suit and tie. Work in a big company in the city. Young dad. Sole earner. Packed lunch every day.

Along comes COVID-19 and the sudden requirement to work from home.

perfect… guess who saved $99 per month cancelling their home internet last year!

I'm the only one in the team who needs a 4G WiFi dongle. My boss, the company' s Head of Compliance, walks me down to the IT Service Desk to get one.

IT: Sorry, all out. Why do you need one anyway?

Me: Speed issues (kinda the truth - i would have to use my wife's mobile data as a hotspot which is slow)

IT: Don't you have NBN?

Me: No

IT: How about ADSL? No, why?

Me (not realising just how much stronger my scrounging game was than a normal person): Financial choice

As this conversation is taking place I am about 25% through the Millionaire Fastlane. There are a few chapters there where MJ sarcastically talks about the "benefits" of the slowlane. The sentence "financial choice" is halfway out of my mouth when I realise MJ might have a point.

Great, now my boss thinks I can't afford WiFi. F*ck. She knows how much I earn. How the hell can I not afford WiFi? Maybe I have debt (I don't). Maybe my wife is sick (she's fine). Maybe I have a gambling addiction (I don't). Being a serial saver must be so far down the list of possible reasons I don't have internet at home.

It was on the walk to the TelCo with the boss's company credit card to buy a mobile broadband plan that I decided something has to change.

I am sick of feeling guilty for every non-essential purchase
I am sick of feeling guilty every time I miss my monthly savings goal
I am sick of worrying that my colleagues think I am poor
I am sick of fantasising of winning the lottery
I am sick of fantasising of DYING, just so my wife can get my life insurance payout and not have to stress about money(WTF)
And I am sick of cheap, non-absorbent F*cking nappies

And all this for what? Once I've saved enough for a house deposit, I will compromise and buy a shitbox, live in misery so that I can pay it off early, so I have more time to save for retirement. As MJ said in his monologue "WHERE DO I SIGN?"

I realise now that instead of waiting for the world to GIVE ME something, I need to GIVE MYSELF to the world if I am to get out of this mediocre life.

I've always had "Million Dollar Ideas". I've also always had the million dollar excuses not to take action.
This time next week I will have home WiFi.
This time next month I will be building knowledge to get my product going.
This time next year I will have my own company and at least one MVP out there for the world to enjoy.

Thanks for the kick up the a$$ MJ - I owe you one
 

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Andy Black

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This time next month I will be building knowledge to get my product going.
This time next year I will have my own company and at least one MVP out there for the world to enjoy.
Why have goals to “build knowledge” or “have a company”?

More importantly, why wait till next year?

What’s stopping you from helping someone this week?
 

Mattie

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I have always been a diligent tightwad. No eating out, cheap phone plan, budget brand nappies for the baby (yes, I hate myself), spreadsheets, trackers and all the compound interest calculations a guy could ever ask for.

It was all going great until my stinginess was caught in the light of day and I saw it for what it really was.

Picture the scene - Young professional. Suit and tie. Work in a big company in the city. Young dad. Sole earner. Packed lunch every day.

Along comes COVID-19 and the sudden requirement to work from home.

perfect… guess who saved $99 per month cancelling their home internet last year!

I'm the only one in the team who needs a 4G WiFi dongle. My boss, the company' s Head of Compliance, walks me down to the IT Service Desk to get one.

IT: Sorry, all out. Why do you need one anyway?

Me: Speed issues (kinda the truth - i would have to use my wife's mobile data as a hotspot which is slow)

IT: Don't you have NBN?

Me: No

IT: How about ADSL? No, why?

Me (not realising just how much stronger my scrounging game was than a normal person): Financial choice

As this conversation is taking place I am about 25% through the Millionaire Fastlane. There are a few chapters there where MJ sarcastically talks about the "benefits" of the slowlane. The sentence "financial choice" is halfway out of my mouth when I realise MJ might have a point.

Great, now my boss thinks I can't afford WiFi. F*ck. She knows how much I earn. How the hell can I not afford WiFi? Maybe I have debt (I don't). Maybe my wife is sick (she's fine). Maybe I have a gambling addiction (I don't). Being a serial saver must be so far down the list of possible reasons I don't have internet at home.

It was on the walk to the TelCo with the boss's company credit card to buy a mobile broadband plan that I decided something has to change.

I am sick of feeling guilty for every non-essential purchase
I am sick of feeling guilty every time I miss my monthly savings goal
I am sick of worrying that my colleagues think I am poor
I am sick of fantasising of winning the lottery
I am sick of fantasising of DYING, just so my wife can get my life insurance payout and not have to stress about money(WTF)
And I am sick of cheap, non-absorbent F*cking nappies

And all this for what? Once I've saved enough for a house deposit, I will compromise and buy a shitbox, live in misery so that I can pay it off early, so I have more time to save for retirement. As MJ said in his monologue "WHERE DO I SIGN?"

I realise now that instead of waiting for the world to GIVE ME something, I need to GIVE MYSELF to the world if I am to get out of this mediocre life.

I've always had "Million Dollar Ideas". I've also always had the million dollar excuses not to take action.
This time next week I will have home WiFi.
This time next month I will be building knowledge to get my product going.
This time next year I will have my own company and at least one MVP out there for the world to enjoy.

Thanks for the kick up the a$$ MJ - I owe you one
I know someone like this personally. Let me tell you that you can be so overly cheap with things it becomes your downfall. It can actually prohibit you from enjoying life. Although, you know it's personal choice. It can even slow success down at times. I think personally it's kind of way overboard.
 

RazorCut

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Welcome to the forum,

There is nothing wrong with saving. However it seems you have let it get out of hand. I've seen it happen to a few friends over the years. And because it is a gradual thing they don't see just how bad it had become until a good friend points it out or they end up in an embarrassing situation that brings it into startling reality.

That realisation that they are living in a forced limited mindset rather than one of abundance.

Don't get me wrong, we all have to batten down the hatches occasionally. Bootstrapping your startup. When your business takes an unexpected dip and you are caught out while you pivot. When you need to make saving to expand your business but are loathe to borrow. During events like this pandemic.

However living your life like a pauper for long periods is not good for your mental health and for your families well-being. Cheapest shitty nappies? Hell man that's low.

My Aunt died last month. She lived a simple and happy life I thought but I didn't know her well as I only seen her at family gatherings. I found out that she was so 'careful' with her money that she measured out her water for a cup of tea and only boiled that amount. She would sit in a cold house rather than turn the heating on and when it was on I expect she had it as low as possible.

They found her in her kitchen where she had fallen with hardly a stitch on. They got her to hospital but due to the house being so cold she had hypothermia and never recovered.

I felt really sorry for her when I heard but was puzzled as I thought despite the modest home she was financially comfortable. I couldn't understand why she would suffer being cold to save a few pounds.

I was shocked to find out that she left over 1m pounds sterling. About $1,300,000 US, and most of it was in cash in various bank accounts.

I'm sure she didn't realise just how bad she had got. But it's sadly too late now for her to mend her ways.

How are you intending to change? What can you create that will bring in enough money that you will easily meet your savings goals but also provide your family with the 'luxuries' in life most people take for granted?

Does your partner fully support this 'cheapskate' existence or does she really hope for more?
 
Last edited:

Andy Black

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Welcome to the forum,

There is nothing wrong with saving. However it seems you have let it get out of hand. I've seen it happen to a few friends over the years. And because it is a gradual thing they don't see just how bad it had become until a good friend points it out or they end up in an embarrassing situation that brings it into startling reality.

That realisation that they are living in a forced limited mindset rather than one of abundance.

Don't get me wrong, we all have to batten down the hatches occasionally. Bootstrapping your startup. When your business takes an unexpected dip and you are caught out while you pivot. When you need to make saving to expand your business but are loathe to borrow. During events like this pandemic.

However living your life like a pauper for long periods is not good for your mental health and for your families well-being. Cheapest shitty nappies? Hell man that's low.

My Aunt died last month. She lived a simple and happy life I thought but I didn't know her well as I only seen her at family gatherings. I found out that she was so 'careful' with her money that she measured out her water for a cup of tea and only boiled that amount. She would sit in a cold house rather than turn the heating on and when it was on I expect she had it as low as possible.

They found her in her kitchen where she had fallen with hardly a stitch on. They got her to hospital but due to the house being so cold she had hypothermia and never recovered.

I felt really sorry for her when I heard but was puzzled as I thought despite the modest home she was financially comfortable. I couldn't understand why she would suffer being cold to save a few pounds.

I was shocked to find out that she left over 1m pounds sterling. About $1,300,000 US, and most of it was in cash in various bank accounts.

I'm sure she didn't realise just how bad she had got. But it's sadly too late now for her to mend her ways.

How are you intending to change? What can you create that will bring in enough money that you will easily meet your savings goals but also provide your family with the 'luxuries' in life most people take for granted?

Does your partner fully support this 'cheapskate' existence or does she hope more more?
That’s so sad @RazorCut.

Some people obsess over the wrong things.

That phrase people love to use:

“Look after the penny’s and the pounds look after themselves.”

... I don’t agree with it. I think if you obsess over pennies then you’ll never see the pounds.
 

RazorCut

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That’s so sad @RazorCut.

Some people obsess over the wrong things.

That phrase people love to use:

“Look after the penny’s and the pounds look after themselves.”

I don’t agree with it. I think if you obsess over pennies then you’ll never see the pounds.
I think you are so right Andy. All the people I’ve ever known watch the pennies ended up with a sweet jar full that wouldn’t buy a weeks groceries. Seriously though if you have to watch the pennies long term you need a serious mindset adjustment.
 

Timmy C

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I have always been a diligent tightwad. No eating out, cheap phone plan, budget brand nappies for the baby (yes, I hate myself), spreadsheets, trackers and all the compound interest calculations a guy could ever ask for.

It was all going great until my stinginess was caught in the light of day and I saw it for what it really was.

Picture the scene - Young professional. Suit and tie. Work in a big company in the city. Young dad. Sole earner. Packed lunch every day.

Along comes COVID-19 and the sudden requirement to work from home.

perfect… guess who saved $99 per month cancelling their home internet last year!

I'm the only one in the team who needs a 4G WiFi dongle. My boss, the company' s Head of Compliance, walks me down to the IT Service Desk to get one.

IT: Sorry, all out. Why do you need one anyway?

Me: Speed issues (kinda the truth - i would have to use my wife's mobile data as a hotspot which is slow)

IT: Don't you have NBN?

Me: No

IT: How about ADSL? No, why?

Me (not realising just how much stronger my scrounging game was than a normal person): Financial choice

As this conversation is taking place I am about 25% through the Millionaire Fastlane. There are a few chapters there where MJ sarcastically talks about the "benefits" of the slowlane. The sentence "financial choice" is halfway out of my mouth when I realise MJ might have a point.

Great, now my boss thinks I can't afford WiFi. F*ck. She knows how much I earn. How the hell can I not afford WiFi? Maybe I have debt (I don't). Maybe my wife is sick (she's fine). Maybe I have a gambling addiction (I don't). Being a serial saver must be so far down the list of possible reasons I don't have internet at home.

It was on the walk to the TelCo with the boss's company credit card to buy a mobile broadband plan that I decided something has to change.

I am sick of feeling guilty for every non-essential purchase
I am sick of feeling guilty every time I miss my monthly savings goal
I am sick of worrying that my colleagues think I am poor
I am sick of fantasising of winning the lottery
I am sick of fantasising of DYING, just so my wife can get my life insurance payout and not have to stress about money(WTF)
And I am sick of cheap, non-absorbent F*cking nappies

And all this for what? Once I've saved enough for a house deposit, I will compromise and buy a shitbox, live in misery so that I can pay it off early, so I have more time to save for retirement. As MJ said in his monologue "WHERE DO I SIGN?"

I realise now that instead of waiting for the world to GIVE ME something, I need to GIVE MYSELF to the world if I am to get out of this mediocre life.

I've always had "Million Dollar Ideas". I've also always had the million dollar excuses not to take action.
This time next week I will have home WiFi.
This time next month I will be building knowledge to get my product going.
This time next year I will have my own company and at least one MVP out there for the world to enjoy.

Thanks for the kick up the a$$ MJ - I owe you one
Welcome!

I am from Australia to mate, down in melbourne.

We should catch up some time......not soon because ah you know COVID stuff :D
 

Andy Black

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Welcome!

I am from Australia to mate, down in melbourne.

We should catch up some time......not soon because ah you know COVID stuff :D
What do you think OP can do to get out of his own way?
 

Timmy C

I Will Not Stop!
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What do you think OP can do to get out of his own way?
Enjoy life a bit more for one.

Buy some take out food from that restaurant have a bit of fun.

Forget million dollar ideas and just find people you can help this week.

Im also producing online courses on various learning platforms OP, but i would start at just helping someone this week with whatever you can.

My most recent thread in my signature should give some insight maybe he could check that out!

Forget business cards.

Forget logos.

Forget email marketing.

Forget setting up a website.

You might need this stuff much later on OP but just because you have all of the above won't mean you have a business.
 

ShamanKing

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Check out Ramit Sethi and you only need to watch one interview with him b/c it becomes repetitive.
 

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Mattie

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I think if you obsess over pennies then you’ll never see the pounds.
This is my theory! Although..some people obsess about saving every little scrap. Which tends to be I believe the Scarcity Mentality, or "I Never Have Enough." And I believe it's engrained even in Countries or Cultures, Family, Friends, and Peers.
 

Mattie

Platinum Contributor
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What do you think OP can do to get out of his own way?
Pretty much let it go...let it go... of not allowing yourself to spend money if it's for success. I think you can be overly strict and restrict yourself so much it's over board. It's not the end of the world if you spend money at times if it's necessary.

It's kind of telling you're employee to work with a computer from 1999 because you don't want to spend money on 2020 computer. The software might be out of date, the updates suck, the wifi and blue tooth might not be there. Slows down your activity, process, production, and time.
 
OP
OP
Kickflips

Kickflips

Contributor
Apr 4, 2020
16
53
18
Australia
Why have goals to “build knowledge” or “have a company”?

More importantly, why wait till next year?

What’s stopping you from helping someone this week?
Hey Andy - Thank you for the thought provoking reply! I realise that setting such weak "goals" - if they can even be called that - is a self-limiting habit I have taught myself.

You are completely right - I have much to learn
 
OP
OP
Kickflips

Kickflips

Contributor
Apr 4, 2020
16
53
18
Australia
I know someone like this personally. Let me tell you that you can be so overly cheap with things it becomes your downfall. It can actually prohibit you from enjoying life. Although, you know it's personal choice. It can even slow success down at times. I think personally it's kind of way overboard.
The saddest part is I was proud of it! how tightly I had my blinkers on..

Thanks for the reply mate
 

Andy Black

Dad, husband, entrepreneur.
Staff member
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Read Millionaire Fastlane
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May 20, 2014
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OP
OP
Kickflips

Kickflips

Contributor
Apr 4, 2020
16
53
18
Australia
Does your partner fully support this 'cheapskate' existence or does she really hope for more?
Yes to both. She had the same event-focused view on wealth and she definitely hopes for more - who doesn't though.

I really appreciate the time you took to write that reply for me man. This forum is definitely a good place to be. Along with some of the other advice I have seen, I'm quickly learning that the 'rules' of this game of life were self imposed
 
OP
OP
Kickflips

Kickflips

Contributor
Apr 4, 2020
16
53
18
Australia
How are you intending to change? What can you create that will bring in enough money that you will easily meet your savings goals but also provide your family with the 'luxuries' in life most people take for granted?

Does your partner fully support this 'cheapskate' existence or does she really hope for more?

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to write me such a thoughtful reply. The story of your Aunty could easily be a glimpse into my own future if I don't sort out my priorities.

I have already changed thanks to the slap in the face of embarassment I still feel almost 2 weeks on.
I don't know what I can create that will enable me to easily hit my savings goals, but I know where I want to start. As for affording the things that most people take for granted - I used to think people who bought expensive nappies were money wasters. Why were they wasting their money on improving their life now rather than later? The reality is I am priveliged in that I can afford to live 'normally' and still have some left over to save.

I am not going to rely on saving and being stingy as my path to financial freedom. I am not going to let "I don't know how" be an excuse anymore. I am not going to let fear of failure stop me from committing. Most importantly I am not going to let a compound interest calculation be the limiter of my dreams.

Thanks again and I look forward to reading more of your contributions in future :smile:
 

Mattie

Platinum Contributor
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The saddest part is I was proud of it! how tightly I had my blinkers on..

Thanks for the reply mate
No problem. Maybe need to get off the breaks too! :) Ha ha sort of like pushing on the gas pedal and brake at the same time.
 
The reality is I am priveliged in that I can afford to live 'normally' and still have some left over to save.
be careful with that word “privilege”.

It can easily be redefined in your mind as “guilty” thanks to the nasty narrative that uses the term “white privilege”.

You aren’t priveleged to be able to save, you upskilled and raised your value to society to be able to receive a higher value in your job, value exceeding the value expense of living a frugal survival lifestyle. If you think your standing (“privilege”) comes at the cost of someone else’s, even to a small degree, you need to read Unscripted.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Welcome my friend, that great saving discipline will serve you well in business.

This game is won on offense through a larger income where saving tens of thousands is simple.

The victory is preserved on defense (saving, wise spending, etc.)

Awesome intro, hope to see ya around.
 
OP
OP
Kickflips

Kickflips

Contributor
Apr 4, 2020
16
53
18
Australia
be careful with that word “privilege”.

It can easily be redefined in your mind as “guilty” thanks to the nasty narrative that uses the term “white privilege”.

You aren’t priveleged to be able to save, you upskilled and raised your value to society to be able to receive a higher value in your job, value exceeding the value expense of living a frugal survival lifestyle. If you think your standing (“privilege”) comes at the cost of someone else’s, even to a small degree, you need to read Unscripted.
Hi Dignium, thank you for taking the time to comment. I definitely agree that the meaning of privilege has changed as of late to something similar to "undeserving", though that's not what I meant.
Thanks also for the book tip ;)
 
OP
OP
Kickflips

Kickflips

Contributor
Apr 4, 2020
16
53
18
Australia
Welcome my friend, that great saving discipline will serve you well in business.

This game is won on offense through a larger income where saving tens of thousands is simple.

The victory is preserved on defense (saving, wise spending, etc.)

Awesome intro, hope to see ya around.
Thanks MJ for taking the time to read my intro.

Hope you are keeping well!
 

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